This sums up Sosuave (and every other community for that matter)

[cordoncordon]

I respect BB but it was not the point. I just wanted to point out for Trader that his frame is f@cked up. Not because of who he is criticizing but what he is criticizing. BB handling the situation (girl) in that matter was absolutely legimit and very mature as well as his departure be it for good or not. Let's hope not.

See I disagree and I said that then. His handling of the situation was a mess from beginning to end. Not only was he not telling his fiancee and mother of his child normal everyday things that he was doing, including meeting a woman for lunches/teaching sessions, but then, after she got pissed off (rightfully so imo-though she did carry it too far) he has a 3 day sex marathon with her after she just got done slapping him in the face.

The entire thing was handled very poorly imo.

 

[DanelMadr]

Nobody said it was *wrong* to forgive his gf. But there are always consequences to your actions. Yes you can forgive someone but that doesn't mean you give them a free pass and completely avoid holding them accountable.



But no one on here would have makeup sex as a way to resolve the issue. There is such a thing called self-respect. Do not bifurcate the issue, you can maintain your self-respect AND not leave her.

Yeah because of self respect, instead of laughing it of you make a f@cking issue of it, demand an official apology and maybe teach her a lesson on behalf of all the men who got disrespected. Very smart.

I don't think so, I don't really think anyone cares about being *the man* on Sosuave (except for the egotistical maniacs), this is just a virtual world that disappears when you turn the computer off.

That's exactly why they almost never don't turn off their computers and spend here most of their free time.

 

[itishe]

This forum is heavily polarized between great and terrible advice. The thing is you must pick and choose who to listen to. Generally the best advice is what wound up in the DJbible.

The forum is great for cleaning up loose ends you encounter from time to time in situations you're not familiar with but other than that becoming "better with women" really just comes down to you the person. Pick up hobbies, work out, learn a new language, have goals, and work hard to get what you want. Before you know it you won't need to think of piddly stuff like, "what kind of NEG should I drop here?"

I think this is what turns many people off to the PUA community is that some members treat it like a game and use stupid lingo.

___________

Out of curiosity what did BB fight with his GF about? Did she cheat on him or something?

 

[slaog]

People might also view advice as being bad if it goes against what they believe. For instance theres alot of advice about getting women into bed. I don't like it personally but it doesn't mean its bad advice.

 

[jophil28]

See I disagree and I said that then. His handling of the situation was a mess from beginning to end. Not only was he not telling his fiancee and mother of his child normal everyday things that he was doing, including meeting a woman for lunches/teaching sessions, but then, after she got pissed off (rightfully so imo-though she did carry it too far) he has a 3 day sex marathon with her after she just got done slapping him in the face.

The entire thing was handled very poorly imo.

Agree.

AS I matured I started to 'get' the understanding that there were sensible ways to do things which not only avoided icky picky issues from blowing up into volcanoes, but also showed respect and courtesy to others with whom I was involved.

As I recall, BB was having regular meetings with his PA both on and "off campus", but never even mentioned her name or introduced her to his live-in LTR girlfriend.
That situation was just dumb and clumsy - and it was a ticking timebomb which eventually exploded.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

This will cut useless "tips", whinning posts and stuff of that sort...!!!

RULES FOR SS

 

[Solomon]

Trader what you gonna do about it?

Ironic that this is coming from Trader lol

The problem with SS, is that theory and advice is over-abundant, while field reports virtually get ignored. Not attacking Trader, but i have never ever seen him post in a field report(or post one), hell it's very rare you get the Traders/JOphills/Rollo's posting in a FR but if there a thread on BDP's/Feminism/being alpha etc there is a good chance they are in that thread (espeically if it's in the MM forum)

Once again I'm not attacking them, but this is the problem, you have guys who posting FR's left and right, but they get virtually ignored, while b.s. threads like "are Jews better seducers" are towards the top or "girls have dating easier" or some crap, stupid threads which won't help your game, which just bring the integrity of the forum down

Personally myself I rarely post much these days, because I found out that certain things I had to learn and experience myself(and that if I followed everyone's advice I would be like Luke Skywalker), this is I why I had to cut myself of from the forums. Sure I still read some stuff, but I realized a lot of it is negative and wouldn't help me in the game(also another reason I started my own blog)

One thing that I suggest is the Traders/Jophills/Rollo's(guys who are the "superstars" here) etc to support the guys trying to get better, not everyone posting FR's is getting laid, or going on dates, or having a g/f etc . I myself am trying to make it a point to post in FR's more then read some of the crap that I have been reading as of late, there lot of pathetic threads, a gazillion threads on "why looks matter" for the millionth time isn't gonna help anyone with women, or becoming a better seducer. Guys leave the board because those guys who really wanna get better and some do and some don't. But a lot of guys I've noticed use this forum as a crutch.

 

[Trader]

The problem with SS, is that theory and advice is over-abundant, while field reports virtually get ignored.

Why is that a bad thing? Field reports are very narrow - with *sex* as the subject, with *manning up* as a mere afterthought.

Which is more important, getting sex, or being a man? Would you sacrifice your manhood for sex?

Not attacking Trader, but i have never ever seen him post in a field report(or post one)

Why would I post a field report? I am a virgin, and only focus on dating girls who are HB8+ and establishing my social circle. Therefore *manning up* and *keeping the frame* is much more important since you are interacting with HBs (and other guys who are constantly trying to AMOG you) on a continual basis, it's not a quick score like field reports are.

There are a lot of things you can get away with in a field report because, it's only hyper short-term. In relationships, your weaknesses are going to get exposed. You can't hide behind some playful negs forever.

And for the same reason, that is why I don't post in other people's field reports. I have no experience trying to score quickly, nor have I ever or want to try.

But I do post when it comes to other people's relationship threads, especially if she is a HB, because that is what I am interested in, and that's what I have experience in.

 

[macallik]

Kinda off topic but I just read the backbreaker thread just now and I am not 25 so I will comment here. I liked backbreaker originally but he went off the deep end a few years back. With that said, most of the advice in his thread was just terrible. I'd leave too if I got that kinda advice with very little logical arguments.


As for the responses, firstly the people in the thread did not even look at it from a relationship perspective, they looked at it from a legal perspective, like, "If he did that to her he'd be in jail". Newsflash, this isn't a judicial forum, this is about relationships. The fact is, if I jumped to a conclusion about the woman I love and hit her, I would expect to be in the doghouse until I make up for it at the end of the day I would still expect the woman to be with me after it blows over. Not because I feel like I can walk all over her, but because she knows how out of character this is after knowing me for years and she knows that it was a unique situation that made it easy to reach the wrong conclusion.

It is worth noting, if you play the aloof sh!t then stuff like that happens. Why keep your phone on silent in that situation? Why would finishing up a business meeting with a work associate that could just as easily rescheduled takes priority over the agonizing hour or whatever that the fiancee endures where she is SURE that her soon to be husband and father of her child is cheating on her?

 

[cordoncordon]

Kinda off topic but I just read the backbreaker thread just now and I am not 25 so I will comment here. I liked backbreaker originally but he went off the deep end a few years back. With that said, most of the advice in his thread was just terrible. I'd leave too if I got that kinda advice with very little logical arguments.


As for the responses, firstly the people in the thread did not even look at it from a relationship perspective, they looked at it from a legal perspective, like, "If he did that to her he'd be in jail". Newsflash, this isn't a judicial forum, this is about relationships. The fact is, if I jumped to a conclusion about the woman I love and hit her, I would expect to be in the doghouse until I make up for it at the end of the day I would still expect the woman to be with me after it blows over. Not because I feel like I can walk all over her, but because she knows how out of character this is after knowing me for years and she knows that it was a unique situation that made it easy to reach the wrong conclusion.

It is worth noting, if you play the aloof sh!t then stuff like that happens. Why keep your phone on silent in that situation? Why would finishing up a business meeting with a work associate that could just as easily rescheduled takes priority over the agonizing hour or whatever that the fiancee endures where she is SURE that her soon to be husband and father of her child is cheating on her?

Agree with all of that, which I was blaming BB for the situation even more so than his fiancee. Just a lot of games and drama that didn't need to happen.

 

[Solomon]

Respect!!!

Why is that a bad thing? Field reports are very narrow - with *sex* as the subject, with *manning up* as a mere afterthought.
WRONG!! go read some of the FR's some guy's are trying to do more then get laid sir, and approaching a woman takes balls of steel, what you don't think it's manning up approaching a women in the middle of the day? or approaching a group of Hb's huddled around some orbitors who are buying them drinks all night? It's more manly then discussing on a forum what is manly. Some guys are trying to get a girlfriend or did (Noob, Rushingdude123, Go Go Gabriel) some guys want to step up their game in general i.e. Master P, Macallik, Cool Dude, tishash, Dee-ezy, yuppaz etc. Then there some guys who just wanna improve as men/ build social circles etc Jon24, Tlc, Snowdog, Snowplow. If you actually read them you would know this, but oh wait, all FR's are just about "sex"

Which is more important, getting sex, or being a man? Would you sacrifice your manhood for sex?
Being a man is more important, but there have been times were men sacrificed manhood for sex (anyone remember the story of Helen of Troy? that started some shyt)

Why would I post a field report? I am a virgin, and only focus on dating girls who are HB8+ and establishing my social circle. Therefore *manning up* and *keeping the frame* is much more important since you are interacting with HBs (and other guys who are constantly trying to AMOG you) on a continual basis, it's not a just quick score like field reports are.
B.S. once again your generalizing there are guys not just in the community but on SS. Who are looking to find "The one" on top of that FR's are more then just getting sex you still have to meet and attract HB's, and building your social circle isn't an easy feat either(I "field tested" this for a year, and actually just wrote a report up on my blog on my results) a field report doesn't have to be, "I went out tonight and tried this" it can be just your overall progress in the game, this is what I do on my blog, when I'm actually gaming, and I actually have gone away from FR's and just talk about stuff in general I.E. How to deal with gossipy people at work, the state of my life, my mindset etc.
There are a lot of things you can get away with in a field report because, it's only hyper short-term. In relationships, your weaknesses are going to get exposed. You can't hide behind some playful negs forever.
Isn't that were keeping the frame comes in? personally i use "techniques" as flash game, at this stage in my "game" I don't need them as much and when I do use it it's no congruent with me cause it doesn't feel natural to me.
And for the same reason, that is why I don't post in other people's field reports. I have no experience trying to score quickly, nor have I ever or want to try.
yeah I get that
But I do post when it comes to other people's relationship threads, especially if she is a HB, because that is what I am interested in, and that's what I have experience in.

So you have experience in dating HB's and your a virgin, I'm curious is that spiritual reason or personal? not harping on you. Personally where do you meet these HB's, there tons of threads here on a weekly basis on guys trying to do what you just stated, meeting HB's and building a social circle. A FR journal doesn't just have to be about sex, in my blog I talked about how in the second year of me being part of this community I wanted to build "rock-star" social circle with beautiful women, I also talk about other stuff going on in my life, the world, my faith etc. To me getting laid doesn't mean shyt at this stage of the game cause my goal differ from when i first started. But since your expertise is in relationships I'd be curious to know how you hold the "frame" without any sex, are the girl you dating virgins? and if not does not having any sex create any conflict?

a post on things like this for other DJ's who have the same mind frame might help a lot,

peace

p.s. On another note to answer your other question, to much advice and theory is a bad thing, if there is no "experience" and "action" backing it up. I once saw a thread here on a virgin giving advice about sex(not you Trader) how can a virgin who never had sex give advice about something he hasn't experienced? A lot of theory sounds great in theory but try to apply some of that stuff in the real world and things aren't so black and white.

 

[DanelMadr]

while b.s. threads like "are Jews better seducers" are towards the top or "girls have dating easier" or some crap, stupid threads which won't help your game, which just bring the integrity of the forum down

I'm sorry for the Jew thread, OK?! You can't say it wasn't something new and it has some valid questions. At least it was meant to discuss/ask things not throw it down someones throat.

And only reason it is on top is that everyone posts there to let us know what a bs it is.

What I don't like about ss is that lot of people jump to conclusions and generally do not discuss, just write their general ideas disregarding the facts in a discussion like in backbreakers getting slapped thread.

 

[Jitterbug]

Solo, this forum doesn't cater for field reports. I've said it before: plenty of ppl would post FRs if there's a dedicated section for it which is members only (plus some other restrictions as suited). Few people want to post FRs open to the whole Internet and search engines. You may be cool with it, but many of us aren't. I work in a field where prospective employers and business clients do google us up before doing business with us or giving us a job. If you recall, I posted up a lot of FRs in the other forum.

So I wouldn't blame others around here for their lack of FRs.

A lil more on topic: my Dad often says that inside everyone there's a little lecturer waiting to get out and give (often bad) advices. It's not a SS thing, it's a human thing.

 

[Solomon]

I'm sorry for the Jew thread, OK?! You can't say it wasn't something new and it has some valid questions. At least it was meant to discuss/ask things not throw it down someones throat..

Honestly when I saw that thread I thought it was a 18 year old virgin not a 36 year old.....

Solo, this forum doesn't cater for field reports. I've said it before: plenty of ppl would post FRs if there's a dedicated section for it which is members only (plus some other restrictions as suited). Few people want to post FRs open to the whole Internet and search engines. You may be cool with it, but many of us aren't. I work in a field where prospective employers and business clients do google us up before doing business with us or giving us a job. If you recall, I posted up a lot of FRs in the other forum.

So I wouldn't blame others around here for their lack of FRs.

A lil more on topic: my Dad often says that inside everyone there's a little lecturer waiting to get out and give (often bad) advices. It's not a SS thing, it's a human thing.

JB, it's sad but there was a time when journals here were respected, you had guys like Sexpdx, Master of the universe, Sheez, and of course Senor Fingers who rode excellent reports, and field tested their theories. You forget that most of the bootcamp itself was journal based, and I'm happy to see that moderator Desidova is dong it as well. TBH, if there weren't any FR's here I wouldn't have never post here period, nor in my mind would this site have any creditability. I use to post on another forum and there is nothing but KJing to the max, that I had to leave, because the topics didn't intrigue me at all, and were "watered down game".

JB If you don't wanna post an FR that's fine, but that doesn't mean you can't support someone who does on this forum. I blame guys for not supporting the guys that do. Maybe unlike some, I'm one of the few who didn't care to have my picture/video/etc in them(until a homo-charlatan guru started saving them on his photo-bucket, for God knows what reason). When I first started posting here, there were tons of fuc*king good FR's here. Lot of great game was being discussed, and within a years period shyt changed, why? because no one was paying attention to these good FR's and guys with solid game moved on, cause they realized redundant threads get more play (If I made a thread right now on "black guys better gamers then white" watch the controversy on this forum and it being a number one thread easily, if it weren't to get shut down)

On another note TBH I'm not worried about a girl trying to google a field report, 90% of women wouldn't even know what to look for or what to type. Most girls are to busy in their own minibubbles and facebook then think "gee I wonder if that guy that I met is one of those seducer guys and wrote a Field report" the chance of a chick finding a FR without a picture of you or your real name, is virtually impossible unless someone snitched on you like it happened too the instructor Jeffy on RSD

 

[Ease]

I read the backbreaker thread too.

I realize that marriage is a whole different game. But any man letting his woman hit him in the face like that and act in that manner, and just take it like a b*tch and apologize:

Is a b*tch.

 

[zekko]

As I recall, BB was having regular meetings with his PA both on and "off campus", but never even mentioned her name or introduced her to his live-in LTR girlfriend.
That situation was just dumb and clumsy - and it was a ticking timebomb which eventually exploded.

I agree with that part of what you are saying.
The impression I got was Backbreaker, for being in a relationship, seemed to have a bit of a "have my cake and eat it too" vibe to him. I would not be surprised to see him eventually cheat on his fiance/wife - he's a pretty young guy still to be tied down.

But I saw the actual blowup from his wife as being understandable from her perspective - she thought he was cheating on her. I viewed it as a bizarre set of circumstances and coincidences that played itself out. So I don't agree with others who basically said that to prove he was a man he had to pack his bags and leave just because she slapped him once in a fit of emotion. It all just seemed like a big mistake.

 

[DavenJuan]

For those who have been on this forum, or any other forum for an extended period of time, can agree that you start to notice reoccuring threads, including this type of thread.

Its a revolving door, and some of us who have been through some of the things that newbies are currently dealing with, we try and give real life experiences and examples.

Yes, there is alot of BAD advice here. Probably more bad advice on forums like this than there is GOOD. At the end of the day, its all subjective.

The biggest thing that people need to realize is that its ONLY ADVICE. you have to determine if its going to benefit you or not. Doesnt matter if its coming from a person who has been here for 1 month, or someone like Rollo. Take what you can benefit from and discard the rest. Find out what works best for you, because it doesnt mean it will work for EVERYONE.

 

[Ease]

But I saw the actual blowup from his wife as being understandable from her perspective - she thought he was cheating on her. I viewed it as a bizarre set of circumstances and coincidences that played itself out. So I don't agree with others who basically said that to prove he was a man he had to pack his bags and leave just because she slapped him once in a fit of emotion. It all just seemed like a big mistake.

No, when the girl starts to take a stand to you like that, becomes insulting or hits you, you need to lay down the law.

You can backhand the girl, you can grab her forcefully, you can raise your voice, you can turn your back and leave untill she starts apologising. Whatever is your style.

Leaving the relationship is never in the question, these things happen and you have to deal with it, it's called relationship management.

 

[Scars]

^ Agreed (DavenJuan). But..

Half the time, the "good" advice goes in vain anyways. I can't explain how many times I, or somebody else has put in a lot thought worthy advice to only see it go to waste. The "good" advice is always the advice you DON'T want to hear. It's not the sugar coded lies to make you feel better. It's what you NEED to hear. A lot of the newer members can't stomach this, they end up doing the complete opposite, or act on impulse and then they're back a few days later with a "I made it worse, how do I fix this?" thread.

At the end of the day I think it all boils down to trial and error. I'll be honest, back in my earlier days I was the same way. I knew what I SHOULD had done, but I would always do my own thing. The constant failures and mistakes transformed me into who I am today. You don't learn this stuff by reading it, you learn it by putting it into action. If anything, we are only giving advice, so one day they will say "Damn, they were right." It might even be after they make the same mistake 5 times, but it will click eventually. That's how I had to learn. I am one stubborn mother fvcker.

-Scars

 

[DavenJuan]

^ Agreed (DavenJuan). But..

Half the time, the "good" advice goes in vain anyways. I can't explain how many times I, or somebody else has put in a lot thought worthy advice to only see it go to waste. The "good" advice is always the advice you DON'T want to hear. It's not the sugar coded lies to make you feel better. It's what you NEED to hear. A lot of the newer members can't stomach this, they end up doing the complete opposite, or act on impulse and then they're back a few days later with a "I made it worse, how do I fix this?" thread.

At the end of the day I think it all boils down to trial and error. I'll be honest, back in my earlier days I was the same way. I knew what I SHOULD had done, but I would always do my own thing. The constant failures and mistakes transformed me into who I am today. You don't learn this stuff by reading it, you learn it by putting it into action. If anything, we are only giving advice, so one day they will say "Damn, they were right." It might even be after they make the same mistake 5 times, but it will click eventually. That's how I had to learn. I am one stubborn mother fvcker.

-Scars

I agree to an extent.

There is ALOT of good advice that is completely disregarded. I have given plenty of good advice as well, just to see it ignored and then the same guy wondering why the outcome ended up the way it did.

but then I realzed...

The only GOOD advice me or you have to offer, are the things we believe to be true based on our own experiences. What has worked for me, may be completely different than what has worked for you, simply because we are different people, with possibly different social expectations that we need to get away from.

But that is the problem. MOST of us havent a clue who we are. How can we start utlizing our strengths when we dont have an idea on what these strengths are? Like giving advice to a guy who is naturally conservative and telling him to be "****y & funny", when that simply isnt who he is ...it doesnt help him.

The one constant truth, is that we are all here to get better at SOMETHING. we are ALL looking for CHANGE. And this is why people tend to IGNORE the "good" advice. Because the hardest part is to remove yourself from all the things you were socially conditioned to do and believe. Start making your own mind up, start creating your own world, thats the hard part.

Through "trial and error" is how I learned also. I kept doing the same thing over and over, til one day i was tired of it. Realized that doing the same is only going to continue to get me the same result.

The funny thing about this entire topic, is that people will ONLY START to change when they are ready. We can give all the advice, good or bad, all we want. but if that person isnt really READY to make a change, then there is nothing we can ever say to help them.

With that said, the reason why i still give advice, or even post my own expereinces, is because there may be just ONE PERSON out here, who is actually ready to be a better MAN.. who can relate to my experiences......and make a change