This ONE THING often makes or breaks your status

[Smooth_texter]

... in a woman's eyes, and few men even know about it. It's especially important in social circle game, but not only there.


And that thing is have you ever been in an LTR, and if yes, how long did it last? I think it's related to and shows pre-selection, and you look more reliable and desirable in a woman's eyes. I would argue that it's even better than being seen with many women. Even if you are a player, you should keep that to yourself, and talk only about your LTRs, not the flings (as women do).


This was something I realized years ago, when I was arguing with a woman that I had known for fifteen years. We had both seen different stages and dynamics of our lives. She became bitter and pointed out that I had never been in an LTR. And it kind of makes sense - if you are a high value man, you should also be able to retain women for 1+ years (and you should be the one that initiates the break ups - otherwise it is implied that you are the loser)


It's kind of like how a corporate HR department looks for the most suitable candidate - they prefer the one who has been on a certain position for many years, instead of one who has been job hopping.

 

[pipeman84]

I think it depends on what the woman looks for ... if she's into casual relationships, it doesn't matter.
If she's relationship oriented/wants to start a family, the fact you've been into LTRs could be a big red flag ... in other words, here she is looking for someone who has a lifetime or at least an 18yrs staying power in a relationship and you've proven with your past 2 LTRs that you can't stay with a woman for more than 2 yrs. Ups.

 

[The Duke]

So why do women get attracted to guys that have done time in jail? Why do they write to prisioners? I don't see HR looking for ex-con's to hire. Those aren't good guys, much worse than a guy that has slayed some pu$$y in his day, but women still go after all of those.

For every one of these "theories" I read about, I can share real world experiences that blow that theory off the table.

I've told many that I've been with a lot of girls, I'm highly experienced when it comes to women, I could write a book. They love it.

Doesn't matter what type of relationship she is looking for. The fact that they perceive me as a man that understands women is key. Thats what generates the interest.

In the eyes of a woman a valuable man is a man that is valued by others.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It's kind of like how a corporate HR department looks for the most suitable candidate - they prefer the one who has been on a certain position for many years, instead of one who has been job hopping.

You may be right in the sense that women trust men who have been in LTR more, but it's rarely a crucial factor except if the woman is looking for a husband.

 

[Gamisch]

So why do women get attracted to guys that have done time in jail? Why do they write to prisioners? I don't see HR looking for ex-con's to hire. Those aren't good guys, much worse than a guy that has slayed some pu$$y in his day, but women still go after all of those.

For every one of these "theories" I read about, I can share real world experiences that blow that theory off the table.

I've told many that I've been with a lot of girls, I'm highly experienced when it comes to women, I could write a book. They love it.

Doesn't matter what type of relationship she is looking for. The fact that they perceive me as a man that understands women is key. Thats what generates the interest.

In the highs of a woman a valuable man is a man that is valued by others.

This is... way too deep..

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Also, I've never had to show any of the women I dated after my divorce any proof that I had been in an LTR. Even the ones that cared enough to ask me didn't need to see any evidence.
So if you think an LTR will boost your attractiveness, just tell women you were in serial LTR. Who's going to know as long as you don't tell them you lied about it.

 

[BadBoy89]

I've told many that I've been with a lot of girls, I'm highly experienced when it comes to women, I could write a book. They love it.

Doesn't matter what type of relationship she is looking for. The fact that they perceive me as a man that understands women is key. Thats what generates the interest.

What do you understand about women that layman don’t?

In the highs of a woman a valuable man is a man that is valued by others.

What a women finds “valuable” depends on her age. At 25, it’s the man’s genetics; at 35, it’s the man‘s LTR capabilities; at 45, it’s his resources and money and status,

“Value” has to be defined.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And that thing is have you ever been in an LTR, and if yes, how long did it last? I think it's related to and shows pre-selection, and you look more reliable and desirable in a woman's eyes. I would argue that it's even better than being seen with many women. Even if you are a player, you should keep that to yourself, and talk only about your LTRs, not the flings (as women do).

Funny, but most of the divorced men I know are not looking for LTRs. "Been there, done that."
Women who think a previously married man is eager to get married again are deluding themselves.

 

[The Duke]

What do you understand about women that layman don’t?

-Men do to their hearts, what women do to their minds. They shut down for survival.

-Connect with her mind and soul, and she will let you do all sorts of dirty things to her.

-Women are really turned on by men who are upfront, natural, authentic, and passionate.

-A woman is about the journey(getting to know a new guy), a man is about the destination(having sehx with a new girl)

-In order to create an emotional connection, a man needs to create atmosphere where a woman can feel at ease, comfortable, safe so she feels open to express her self.

-Non-sexual touch and eye contact is a great way to connect with a woman.

-Be a good listener and conversationalist.

-Pay attention to body language and non verbal cues. They are more reliable and honest than her words.

-Be open minded, validate her emotions.

-While you are talking to her, touch her.

-Don't put the burden of deciding where to eat on her. Or date nite plans.

-Girls display flakey behavior because they are unsure about a guy.

-Girls like to be kept on their toes. They respect a guy that will reel them in when needed.

-Older women try harder and act better because they have to.

-Girls are attracted to strong males. Thats why she'll pick the bad boy over the beta.

-A man that has self awareness, emotional awareness, and can regulate his emotions will do well with women.

-Ask open ended questions that lead to commonality. Build from whats in common. Thats the fastest way to break down barriers.

-Jealousy, anger, and anxiety can create arousal in women. Let them wonder for a while.

-Make her hamster wheel spin every now and then, its what powers the tingle generator located in her vagina.

-Women don't want to actually solve problems like men do, they just want to talk about them. Thats how they feel they solve them and become less upset.

-A man needs to pull away at times. You'll keep that irritability, moodiness, bitchyness behavior at bay.

-A clueless man thinks thinks women are as basic as manipulating a basic algebra equation such as x+y=z.

-Share personal stories that show compassion, passion, empathy, the fact that you can relate and understand other individuals.

-Pay attention to the details, and remember them. She'll be impressed when you bring it up later.

You can be that guy that has the total package(confidence, social skills, educated, understands women, people skills, has money, great career, outgoing, physically attractive, sought by other women, and comes with little to no baggage) and the girls that are drawn to all of those great qualities will be the same ones that fear what you are capable of.

What a women finds “valuable” depends on her age. At 25, it’s the man’s genetics; at 35, it’s the man‘s LTR capabilities; at 45, it’s his resources and money and status,
“Value” has to be defined.

The last paragraph above defines value. That is universally attractive to women of all ages.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

What do you understand about women that layman don’t?



What a women finds “valuable” depends on her age. At 25, it’s the man’s genetics; at 35, it’s the man‘s LTR capabilities; at 45, it’s his resources and money and status,

“Value” has to be defined.

STR it’s looks. No matter the age. See: Pool Boys.

 

[Mike32ct]

... in a woman's eyes, and few men even know about it. It's especially important in social circle game, but not only there.


And that thing is have you ever been in an LTR, and if yes, how long did it last? I think it's related to and shows pre-selection, and you look more reliable and desirable in a woman's eyes. I would argue that it's even better than being seen with many women. Even if you are a player, you should keep that to yourself, and talk only about your LTRs, not the flings (as women do).


This was something I realized years ago, when I was arguing with a woman that I had known for fifteen years. We had both seen different stages and dynamics of our lives. She became bitter and pointed out that I had never been in an LTR. And it kind of makes sense - if you are a high value man, you should also be able to retain women for 1+ years (and you should be the one that initiates the break ups - otherwise it is implied that you are the loser)

I get the OP’s point and agree completely.

In a social circle, women do size up your relationship history. They won’t ask you directly, but there is enough gossip where they can find out second hand.

If you’re not a known player and you don’t have any known LTRs with women, they will try to figure out through gossip whether you’re gay or a cel.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

This is BS.
Women like men that have never been in love.
They want the challenge of being the one that tamed him.
If you admit having a serious LTR, it makes her feel another girl has got there before her, which lowers her status in relation to that girl.
It also cements you in the ‘provider’ category, because why hookup with someone who committed to another girl?

yes, you need to show preselection. Talk about girls you’ve ‘seen’ or girls that are attracted to you. But don’t pretend to be a nice guy. Own your playboy side, girls LOVE it.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Nah.

If they ask you about LTR history, what matters is your frame, when you respond. Not the history itself.

If you answer expecting she will approve/disapprove of you based on this, you have handed her this power already.

This is true with almost any such interaction.

 

[Learning Curve]

... in a woman's eyes, and few men even know about it. It's especially important in social circle game, but not only there.


And that thing is have you ever been in an LTR, and if yes, how long did it last? I think it's related to and shows pre-selection, and you look more reliable and desirable in a woman's eyes. I would argue that it's even better than being seen with many women. Even if you are a player, you should keep that to yourself, and talk only about your LTRs, not the flings (as women do).


This was something I realized years ago, when I was arguing with a woman that I had known for fifteen years. We had both seen different stages and dynamics of our lives. She became bitter and pointed out that I had never been in an LTR. And it kind of makes sense - if you are a high value man, you should also be able to retain women for 1+ years (and you should be the one that initiates the break ups - otherwise it is implied that you are the loser)


It's kind of like how a corporate HR department looks for the most suitable candidate - they prefer the one who has been on a certain position for many years, instead of one who has been job hopping.

This is a good post.

And I agree that women always ask about your past. If a woman realizes you never had LTR if she is looking for that her insecurity radar will start to turn on.

And then the questioning asks, "why?" "he has no experience" "no other woman wanted him for ltr?" and this whole hamster brain spinning starts. And then the sh1testing starts.

If you really have your sh1t together good looks and personality you could most probably bypass to a certain level the LTR sh1test if you never had one. But most women want guys with experience that's why they ask these questions. If she knows you had 4-5 year LTR in the past her safety level increases.

 

[Smooth_texter]

I think it depends on what the woman looks for ... if she's into casual relationships, it doesn't matter.
If she's relationship oriented/wants to start a family, the fact you've been into LTRs could be a big red flag ... in other words, here she is looking for someone who has a lifetime or at least an 18yrs staying power in a relationship and you've proven with your past 2 LTRs that you can't stay with a woman for more than 2 yrs. Ups.

Correct.

Quality women start digging whether you have been into an LTR, since they prefer those themselves. I observed this in my social circles, and with non-promiscuous women, whose lay counts came only from LTR that were over at least two years long.

And no woman would disqualify you for being in a relationship for less than 18 years. But you are likely to not be considered by a decent woman, if you haven't been in an LTR for less than one or even two years.

For example, a cute girl from my previous company had been with the same BF since she was 19 (she is 33 now). Although there isn't a single factor which makes a quality woman, that is a blueprint for a woman that is wifey material. I am certain that if she ever breaks up with her BF, she would enter another multi year LTR with a man she has known trough social circles and is a realtionships guy himself.

 

[Smooth_texter]

So why do women get attracted to guys that have done time in jail? Why do they write to prisioners? I don't see HR looking for ex-con's to hire. Those aren't good guys, much worse than a guy that has slayed some pu$$y in his day, but women still go after all of those.

For every one of these "theories" I read about, I can share real world experiences that blow that theory off the table.

I've told many that I've been with a lot of girls, I'm highly experienced when it comes to women, I could write a book. They love it.

Doesn't matter what type of relationship she is looking for. The fact that they perceive me as a man that understands women is key. Thats what generates the interest.

In the eyes of a woman a valuable man is a man that is valued by others.

Hi mate.

That is true, and I have also observed how women prioritize height, looks, unpredictability on other things, even above career.

However, those women are usually burnt out/washed out from having had too many relationships/too much choice or encounters with men (lived too much life, have high body count).

My observation for this thread came from women that have had below 4 sexual partners, and were young. So in order for a guy to get such a rare woman, he would need to also have at least some relationship bias himself.

 

[Smooth_texter]

You may be right in the sense that women trust men who have been in LTR more, but it's rarely a crucial factor except if the woman is looking for a husband.

Hi AA.

No, there are still quality women here and there, who have a small notch count, and prefer to build an LTR with a like minded man.

I still remember my late teens and early twenties, and there were women with a laycount of 1-2, who had multi year relationships and no lays outside those. However, such women are relatively rare nowadays, and since they are high quality, would always be sought out for an LTR by a lot of men.


There is a saying - "Water seeks its own level" - which would mean that the female player/promiscuous woman is attracted by a guy who has handled a lot of women. But the same goes for people with relationship bias.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Quality women start digging whether you have been into an LTR, since they prefer those themselves. I observed this in my social circles, and with non-promiscuous women, whose lay counts came only from LTR that were over at least two years long.

As an Einzelgänger, I used to live alone and have polyamorous / non-monogamous relationships. I was in an LTR of sixteen years with a ten-year younger woman, had two children with her and since my divorce I have polyamorous relationships again. I don't plan to have a monogamous LTR, so a woman who'd think I'd be up for that bases on my 16-year long LTR is sorely mistaken.

 

[Smooth_texter]

What do you understand about women that layman don’t?



What a women finds “valuable” depends on her age. At 25, it’s the man’s genetics; at 35, it’s the man‘s LTR capabilities; at 45, it’s his resources and money and status,

“Value” has to be defined.

There are also some mid twenties women who still value a man's LTR capabilities, but are very rare and very sought after.

Usually coming from a healthy family, where the father held the masculine role (very rare nowadays).

 

[Smooth_texter]

Funny, but most of the divorced men I know are not looking for LTRs. "Been there, done that."
Women who think a previously married man is eager to get married again are deluding themselves.

In this thread I am mainly focusing on feminine women, who have not burnt out from life and racked up notch counts. Late 30s and so on divorced women are often already broken themselves, regardless what they look for (they have set a precedent, if they initiated the divorce).