This is embarrassing but F^ck it. Thats what we are here for.

[salinechow]

Talk me out of getting a huge arrangement of flowers for my top plate, borderline new "onitis".

Reason I am thinking its a good idea is becasue I cant shake this "player" vibe she claims I have and I think its the reason she is playing games with me. I feel like if she knows I like her best she will behave better. Examples. Flake a little less. Sh!t test less. Open up a little more. Begin a more casual form of dating instead of just "fun" dates and "romantic" dates. I get the sense from her the more she likes me the more she tries not to. Again, its possiable low interest but there is also evidance of high interest. Invites me out, talks about me with friends and lets them tell me good things she says.

P.S I was thinking if I did send the flowers, I was not going to sign the card or put a message. Hamster spin? Its possiable she has other options but again evidence tells me they are either, not real, text orbiters, and, Im top choice. So...she will probably assume they are definitely from me, but will have no conformation. After this possiable depolyment of AFC nonsence I plan on staying ghost for at least a week. Then I might invite her to a simple dinner date.

Go to town... I can take it.

Does anyone without DJ overload think this is actually might sweeten her a bit? Is it possiable there are still girls that might genuinely appreciate this gesture in a way that build this into something more than a back and forth game of wills?

 

[No.Danny]

All I'll say is....

We're not ****ing robots, we're human beings.
Take it as you want

 

[jurry]

Jesus you're putting too much thought into this..

Buy the fvcking flowers if you like her and want to, or dont. Then carry on with your life.

 

[Skyline]

If she's attracted to you then you can buy her house and she'll love it, if she isn't then she will either be creeped out or get mixed feelings. But, since you already have that title in her head then she's just going to rationalize this as your "player" moves.

The best thing to give a girl something is when SHE does something nice for YOU. Kind of like paying her back.

 

[OnTheRun]

Talk me out of getting a huge arrangement of flowers for my top plate, borderline new "onitis".

Reason I am thinking its a good idea is becasue I cant shake this "player" vibe she claims I have and I think its the reason she is playing games with me. I feel like if she knows I like her best she will behave better.

Because girls always treat guys better when they make themselves completely available...

She's attracted to you BECAUSE you're a "player" dude. Girls like guys that get girls.

Examples. Flake a little less. Sh!t test less. Open up a little more. Begin a more casual form of dating instead of just "fun" dates and "romantic" dates. I get the sense from her the more she likes me the more she tries not to. Again, its possiable low interest but there is also evidance of high interest. Invites me out, talks about me with friends and lets them tell me good things she says.

You've decided she is girlfriend material. Any girl who considers a guy boyfriend material usually telegraphs it. If she's not telegraphing it she ain't that interested.

P.S I was thinking if I did send the flowers, I was not going to sign the card or put a message. Hamster spin? Its possiable she has other options but again evidence tells me they are either, not real, text orbiters, and, Im top choice. So...she will probably assume they are definitely from me, but will have no conformation. After this possiable depolyment of AFC nonsence I plan on staying ghost for at least a week. Then I might invite her to a simple dinner date.

Go to town... I can take it.

Does anyone without DJ overload think this is actually might sweeten her a bit? Is it possiable there are still girls that might genuinely appreciate this gesture in a way that build this into something more than a back and forth game of wills?

Wow sense the fear! You're scared because she's out-gaming you.

Do you think this girl wants a guy whose best move is to anonymously send flowers, briefly disappear and then invite her to dinner? She'll mount your head on her wall with the other betas. C'mon I think if you read that again you'll realise she's got YOUR hamster spinning.

Best of luck.

 

[way2smart]

Talk me out of getting a huge arrangement of flowers for my top plate, borderline new "onitis".

I think sending flowers is fine, especially if it's the first time you are ever doing this.
But I would stay away from "huge arrangement of flowers" and instead keep it simple.

I just think that "huge arrangement of flowers" will show too much interest from you.

 

[salinechow]

Wow. Better advice than I expected. Although Im sure I have a lashing or two coming.

Yes. She is out gaming me. I’m just not sure if she is intentionally doing so. There are other variables I left out.

We have hooked up. We have shared some pretty amazing experiences together and some strong vibes. No sex close yet because of two reasons.
One logistics. The two times it was escalating to that it would have been logistically forced or unavailable. Two, I guess once I could have taken it father in my car but I just dont like that sh!t. I actually peeled a chick off of me in my car a few months back. Its not my thing. I mean maybe if it was a HB 10, just to add the badge and the story. But I am just not interested in car sex for a first encounter with a chick I really like and , certainly not with one I don’t.

Anyway, yes, I like her for GF material. Yet, I am still spinning plates to deal with the fallout of onitis failure. Hooked up with a Tinderella last night. Taking her for an overnight somewhere tomorow. Thing is I guesss I am a player, but I think like most of us around here, once in a while a girl comes along you just like the most. And... when that happens it hard to "play". And thats just it isnt it. Try as I may, I just cant treat this girl like the others. She is not a ego validation or a placeholder, she is a person too me. One I like. One I like to listen too and hug. One I want to encourage and enjoy.

Look, this website has taught me wonders. I am better off for it. Yet, there is still that person within me who wants something more substantial. Thing is, if I dont get it, thats when this website and our community is most valuable. Seal it back up and sarge. MAn up and self improve while you wait.

Anyway, to the point, I think I will send the flowers. I will also include a message. I will not sign the card. I am greater than 80 percent sure she will know they are from me.

Like someone said, (and I am ready for the outcome) It will either stress her out because she is insecure and terrible at receiving compliments and over the top stuff like this and she will get angry and indifferent, game over, or she will will find it creepy, and game over, or she will soften and realize maybe I have more to me than she has allowed herself to feel, and she will allow all the positive thoughts she has about me sink in. I mean I guess there is wisdom in “If she has to think about interest then there really isnt any but I guess I am willing to find out and move in either direction” Yep, I am invested, like a stock, buy, sell or hold! Ahh I can handle it.

I have a small ace up my sleeve. Her friends and sisters. From what I have heard she speak highly of me but has two major concerns and 1 minor. A. Thinks I a player. B. Is moving in September(supposedly and porbably) and is traveling the whole month of march. C. Hang ups from her ex.

It will suck if I lose. But, I am thinking it will put an end to mix signals and the debate of whether or not she should open up. Also, and I think this is pretty good progress; at the end of the day, she is not my true"Oneitis" the reason I found SS. Now, nothing will ever hurt that bad so... I can really be outcome indifferent in comparison. Still spinning paltes, hitting the gym and self improving. If not this one, DAMN, but, on to the next.
I have to say this. I would rather lose her to an action than an inaction or a game. I played it this long and so has she. Time to light the dynamite!

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

I'm waiting for guys to come and make fun of you for this (I won't though so don't worry). I'll tell you what to do: trust your gut INSTINCT. Don't react off of emotions. Give it some rational thought, spend several days away from her (and maybe women entirely), and focus on you. Do your best not to think about it. 3-4 days later (or more, its up to you), go ahead and trust your gut. Trust the SENSATION of what is right, NOT THE EMOTIONAL FEELINGS. Remember that. That is of you want to play it safe.

If you don't want to play it safe, take the risks, buy her flowers, and grow and develop much faster due to experience. Do what you want and feel like doing at any given moment, even if that includes going a little 'AFC' or whatever you want to call it. This gives you experience that none here could EVER give you. If it works out, it works out. Come back here and update us. If it doesn't, it might suck for a little while, but you will become SO much stronger after the situation is over. You would have improved yourself tenfold.

I am an advocate of the second choice more so, simply because the end goal is far better. Pook did not advocate the secure path. He advised the free path. He said we have two paths in love and life. 1) Live your dreams or 2) Live other people's dreams. One path is hard (freedom), one path is easy (security). You can continue to take the 'advice' here and protect yourself from possible heartbreak (easy, secure) or you go out and live your life freely and do what YOU want to do without thinking about it LIKE A REAL MAN DOES (hard, freedom).

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60543

Your choice, and be sure to come back and update us.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Buying a girl flowers before you fvck her is the shortest road to the friendzone. It's okay to buy her flowers if you are a couple, but a girl you haven't even slept with yet? Big mistake.

 

[Desdinova]

I cant shake this "player" vibe she claims I have

That's not necessarily a bad thing. Make her work so you become a non-player. Women like it when men are a challenge.

I think its the reason she is playing games with me.

If a woman is "playing games", then she's either uncertain about you or she senses that you're playing games. Women can smell a fart in a man's personality.

I feel like if she knows I like her best she will behave better.

No she won't. Once women feel that they've "got" you, their emotional fluctuation goes away. That's not a good thing because it's the emotional fluctuation that causes them to be attracted to you.

I get the sense from her the more she likes me the more she tries not to.

But this is what women like. They enjoy that emotional fluctuation. If you show it doesn't affect you, then she's going to become more attracted.

it possiable there are still girls that might genuinely appreciate this gesture in a way that build this into something more than a back and forth game of wills?

Yes, but they're in the 50-90 year old age range.

If you want to show this girl that she's important, you're going to have to do it with actions. Here's some ways you can do it without flowers:

- Chow down on her until she orgasms
- Plan a date around something that interests her
- If she's having a crappy day, text her saying "Sounds like you need a hug". When she responds in the positive, tell her "I'm coming over to give you one". (Dont go if she insists she's too unattractive or busy). Once you get there, give her a long hug, tell her you can't stay and have stuff to do. Stay for 10 minutes or so, and then leave.

This is stuff that's thoughtful, and women will see it as genuine. Giving flowers has been ruined by all the AFCs before you and gives off the desperation vibe. NO FLOWERS until you're in an established LTR with her.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

I've been the flower guy on multiple occasions in the past, my 2cents are that you should ONLY buy her flowers to celebrate a happy place or be romantic and unpredictable when things are GREAT. NEVER to fix a problem.

 

[salinechow]

I'm waiting for guys to come and make fun of you for this (I won't though so don't worry). I'll tell you what to do: trust your gut INSTINCT. Don't react off of emotions. Give it some rational thought, spend several days away from her (and maybe women entirely), and focus on you. Do your best not to think about it. 3-4 days later (or more, its up to you), go ahead and trust your gut. Trust the SENSATION of what is right, NOT THE EMOTIONAL FEELINGS. Remember that. That is of you want to play it safe.

If you don't want to play it safe, take the risks, buy her flowers, and grow and develop much faster due to experience. Do what you want and feel like doing at any given moment, even if that includes going a little 'AFC' or whatever you want to call it. This gives you experience that none here could EVER give you. If it works out, it works out. Come back here and update us. If it doesn't, it might suck for a little while, but you will become SO much stronger after the situation is over. You would have improved yourself tenfold.

I am an advocate of the second choice more so, simply because the end goal is far better. Pook did not advocate the secure path. He advised the free path. He said we have two paths in love and life. 1) Live your dreams or 2) Live other people's dreams. One path is hard (freedom), one path is easy (security). You can continue to take the 'advice' here and protect yourself from possible heartbreak (easy, secure) or you go out and live your life freely and do what YOU want to do without thinking about it LIKE A REAL MAN DOES (hard, freedom).

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=60543

Your choice, and be sure to come back and update us.

You see. This is why we come here. GEMS of real human beings encouraging one another. We hope for eachothers sucess, but we also say to trip and fall and break your face. If you do its ok. Becasue even with a broken face, we as a community will understand and help you protect what is more valuable...the heart.

Double said it better than I could. All in all.

The real reason I want to send the flowers is not nessisarlily to win her over. It is more to find out were I stand and put an end to misconception and games. Its to speed through the BS and get to the outcome already. She occupies my mind and at this moment isnt worth that. If she is indeed interested she will not let thins change that. If she isnt this will be the perfect over the top way she can dismiss me forever and I can stop feeling in between. Go back to energizing my own life and spinning plates. Again, she is not the orginal onitis so Ican certainly deal with this outcome. What I am finding though is I dont like the In-between feeling. Id rather escalate or put it to bed once and for all. If I cant make that descion on my own Ill roll the dice for the descion to be made for me. Still a little AFC of me but getting better all the time I think.

A sincere thaks as usuall to the time spent. Thanks Men.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

You see. This is why we come here. GEMS of real human beings encouraging one another. We hope for eachothers sucess, but we also say to trip and fall and break your face. If you do its ok. Becasue even with a broken face, we as a community will understand and help you protect what is more valuable...the heart.

Double said it better than I could. All in all.

The real reason I want to send the flowers is not nessisarlily to win her over. It is more to find out were I stand and put an end to misconception and games. Its to speed through the BS and get to the outcome already. She occupies my mind and at this moment isnt worth that. If she is indeed interested she will not let thins change that. If she isnt this will be the perfect over the top way she can dismiss me forever and I can stop feeling in between. Go back to energizing my own life and spinning plates. Again, she is not the orginal onitis so Ican certainly deal with this outcome. What I am finding though is I dont like the In-between feeling. Id rather escalate or put it to bed once and for all. If I cant make that descion on my own Ill roll the dice for the descion to be made for me. Still a little AFC of me but getting better all the time I think.

A sincere thaks as usuall to the time spent. Thanks Men.

The reason for you doing it is what i perceive to be AFC (considering DJ tactics), not meant in a mean way. But sometimes you have to do what feels good to YOU and learn from the experience.

What i do think is that when you do sent the flowers, feel confident about doing so and stand behind your choice. Without doubting what she will think about it, this is a choice you make that feels good to you! For that reason alone even if she loses interest it will still be the right choice.

 

[Bible_Belt]

After this possible deployment of AFC nonsense I plan on staying ghost for at least a week.

I'm not against the flowers, but I would skip the ignoring her for a week afterward. If you want her to stop playing games, you have to stop them yourself. Even when they work, she can still see what's going on, which makes her give you back more of the same in return.

 

[LuckyStrike88]

After this possible deployment of AFC nonsense I plan on staying ghost for at least a week.

I'm not against the flowers, but I would skip the ignoring her for a week afterward. If you want her to stop playing games, you have to stop them yourself. Even when they work, she can still see what's going on, which makes her give you back more of the same in return.

I agree with this, going ghost after sending the flowers is just an act of insecurity because you think it's AFC. If you choose to send them at least have some faith in it working, you didn't come up with it for no reason. Trust your instincts and be cool about it. By the way i think going ghost has to come from a place of strength not insecurity overcompensation.

 

[way2smart]

I changed my opinion on this. Since you clarified that you didn't have sex with her yet, don't send the flowers. It would put you right into her orbiters list.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

I was flower guy now I think flowers are least original things to buy even rubber duck is better than flowers.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Oh my good god

Oneitis be fvcked!

Your entire world is revolving around a chick whom you haven’t even penetrated

You surely cant of fully digested the red pill because you still believe she will turn out different to the rest

you already knew the answer to this question before you posted it on here because if you truly thought that sending her flowers would benefit you , you would have done it already

the truth is you have already lost the game with this chick because you are so outcome dependant

Unless you overcome this you’re going to hit this wall with every single chick with a higher value than you

Stop expecting and wanting so much from women

 

[stevejabba]

There's nothing wrong with this at all.

NB Haven't read the rest of the replies in this thread, maybe this place is different. But in my experience, on PUA forums, the manosphere and the like you'll usually have quite a few insecure and bitter little boys posting bad advice. Don't listen to them. There's nothing wrong with really getting into and loving a girl.

It's fundamentally what this whole thing is about. Very few man are cut out for the player lifestyle.

Go for it pal.

 

[zekko]

She's attracted to you BECAUSE you're a "player" dude. Girls like guys that get girls.

Actually, since she's been flaking, it doesn't sound like she's that attracted.

Personally, I wouldn't buy her flowers if she has done nothing to deserve them.