This is a tricky situation... fast response appreciated.

[So pimp its scary]

I am supposed to go out with a woman today... it's the second time we go out.

Now, here is the sticky part. I just got off the phone with her, and it turns out instead of it just being the 2 of us going out, she is bringing some friends along.

Should I also find some people to come along? Or would it make little difference? What would you do?

Thanks.

 

[Kodiac]

I would have told her i couldn't make it...if it was going to be a date, she shouldn't have invited other people.

It sounds like it's too late for that now however. I guess it depends on you and what you are comfortable with - but i would rather turn up alone (as she should have).

Don't ignore her friends, play them to your advantage.

Good luck

 

[The Great Obnarticus]

You think adding more people to the equation will result in a better chance? Unlikely. If she's bringing "some friends", that means two or more. That makes four or more of you. If you bring some friends, that'll make at least six. It could go as high as ten if you're real unlucky.

And then there'll be shopping and coffee houses that she'll drag you to, and you'll end up carrying all the crap they buy and damn, you're pretty screwed...

 

[So pimp its scary]

That is exactly what I wanted to hear...

The other alternative was to try and convince one of my friends to come... but that just seemed to many variables to try and control.

 

[Shiftkey]

If you have a hot female friend, bring her to possibly make this girl jealous with your social proof. Don't expect anything to ever happen with this girl though. Did you even kiss her during the first date?

 

[TesuqueRed]

She's bringing "teddy bears" along. Usually that happens on the first date. On the second....??? Bad sign?--I would guess. Treat her just like one of the group and chat up other women while out---just a suggestion. I don't have particular insight into that specific situation.

 

[So pimp its scary]

By "teddy bears" you mean like securtiy "teddy bears", ie "security blanket'?

 

[uniassign]

You must switch targets. You must make the friend like you. This is a really immature sh!t test that you must pass.

Now you must make your target ACTIVELY chase you. This means you will have to ignore her for most of the time you guys spend together. Even if her friend is ugly, you will have to find something in common with the friend, make her laugh and enjoy yourselves. It is better if your target is not interested in that particular topic.

Tell stories, don't try to converse, because a conversation works best with TWO people, not THREE.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I'm gone... thanks guys, wish me luck. Will report on this.

 

[iqqi]

she could be doing it because her IL is too low to be with JUST you, but she doesn't exactly want to next you yet.

 

[So pimp its scary]

iqqi, you were exactly right.

I got to the bar, and I found her and her friend waiting in line. From then, I felt more or less ignored.

Well, I kept things cool between the three of us, but for the most partC( the girl I was originally supposed to go with) and N(her friend). But, once we got into the bar, I was talking to them, and things weren't going good or bad, I took a little time to look around, and got a feel of who all was there. Luckily, I ran into a few friends that just happened to be there...

The one fun part of the night was when this guy was trying to grind up against N. She pushed him away 3 times, and he didn't get the point, so I got to tell him, "Look buddy, It's NOt going to happen! Try that on someone else." He tried to grind the girl again, and finallly got the hint.

Anyway, After talking to the friends that I ran into for a few minutes, while C&N went to the washroom, I went to go look for C&N and there I find C talking to some other guy... which wasn't really a problem untill she started hugging him. and dragged him to the dance floor.

I kept my cool, then, when I say her next, I walked up to her, said "You're cut!" Then, I went back to the friends that I met up with earlier, and hung out for the rest of the night.

I was choked, I still started a convo with a couple other girls, but I wasn't in the mood to get their numbers or anything.....

So, all in all, it was a crappy night...

The pimp is signing off.

 

[DJ_Dork]

If a girl really wanted to go out with you, she'd do it by herself. Lesson learned folks.. true.

 

[DJ Jr.]

Maybe she's just shy? If she was flirting with other guys though I doubt it.

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary

I got to the bar, and I found her and her friend waiting in line. From then, I felt more or less ignored.

I think this is an important lesson that could save us all a lot of trouble. This has happened to me before and turned out, more or less, the same way.

I'm sure it'll happen again in the future to at least one of us so it's important to take note.

If a girl wants anybody else to come with or meet with you two (unless it's another couple), tell her that she can hang out with them if she wants but you'll be doing something else somewhere else.

She's the kind of b¡tch that we need to be on our guards for.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's things like these that help us all out.

 

[squirrels]

Give her friend more attention than her. I mean, don't ignore her completely, but definitely chat her friend up.

That'll teach her.

 

[OddTech]

Originally posted by So pimp its scary

I kept my cool, then, when I say her next, I walked up to her, said "You're cut!" Then, I went back to the friends that I met up with earlier, and hung out for the rest of the night.

So, all in all, it was a crappy night...

With all due respect, it's only the second date and you are already blowing steam. Not a good sign of a "pimp." Take it easy, just let it slide by ignoring her.

 

[Mazman]

Um...are you sure this was supposed to be a "date"?

 

[So pimp its scary]

Originally posted by OddTech
With all due respect, it's only the second date and you are already blowing steam. Not a good sign of a "pimp." Take it easy, just let it slide by ignoring her.

I'll agree with you on that, it's not very becoming of a pimp to have to blow off some steam, it made it easier to get angry, as I'm fresh out of a relationship, and still (apparently) have a low tolerance for woman's BS... but that was honestly the extent of it. I really just didn't want to pretend that we were still 'together' that night... and it worked cuz those were the last words spoken between us.

-----------

Squirrels - As much as I could, I was talking to her friend over her.... but it made little difference. If there was more interest to start with, that may have worked.... but in the future, I will not go out with the woman in this situation.

Too much stress for what it was worth.

 

[TesuqueRed]

On balance, you did well.

You're 21. The girls are deep into learning how to play, and as consequence, you're deep into getting played.

Or--unlike most 21 yr olds--maybe you're getting deep into learning how not to get played.

You picked up on the fact immediately that you were feeling ignored. This is huge--you know what you felt and didn't try to explain it away in AFC fashion. You knew what you felt and owned up to it. Some guys take years of therapy to get this (no shyt--you can see some of them on these boards.)

Consider this trait invaluable and build upon it.

Pyssed off---quite normal, especially when you first encounter and learn to deal with this situation---you look around (AFCs won't) and look at what's immediately available around you to see if you can't do something creative to salvage the situation.

Very good.

And, inspite of being pyssed off, you went and met some friends and tried to talk to others.

Excellent.

Dude starts to grind and gets rejected 3X. You handle the situation without wigging out. Nicely done.

The whole night sucked, no shyt, but--IMO--you did well and it the lessons of it will come back to you for the next 40 or 50 years when you go out.

I bet you're already thinking about how you would have improved on what you did----do that work! Think it through! Next time anything similar comes up, you will come up with something and handle it even better.

From my experience, what will happen is that you will recognize it faster and sooner (I'm not being redundant there...) and will simply decide you're not going to play along or give it any energy. This is a great attitude to have. Even if you do nothing, the smart ones will recognize that the game is up and they lost you.

 

[Walden]

All good calls there.
One optio is to not show up at all which has you ditching her in front of her crew putting you back in charge whereupon you can set up another date in your own time.

My first girlfriend ever (good god , twelve years ago) used to always invite someone when we went out, and yet she was totally into me. Chicks are strange.