hey craig, i totally disagree with your post. true, i see that you want to see some afc's succeed, but that's their problem, not anyone else's. i think this thread goes well with wyldfire's "on becoming a successful man..." post.
i myself am an excellent example of a bafc that is getting closer and closer to 'dj-ness'
you see, if anyone wants to change it's up to them to take the steps and get it done. take our good friend (which i won't name...you know who you are bud) who has been practically encouraged to death, and even with an entire post dedicated to getting him off his ass, he still sits there and sulks.
i always thought that anyone who had enough desire to find a site like this would have enough inner desire to utilize this mecca of information and slowly work their way up. that's what i did, and i'm sure a bunch of others did the same. i'm with senor fingers (weapons of mass seduction), in that we all have a social god buried within us, we just need to find it.
i used to be a complete loser. so worse than bafc, that i was actually diagnosed with social anxiety / chronic depression. but once i found this site i was like BOOM! i'm not the only one like this, so maybe i don't have anxiety or depression...if i can get more social and better with chicks. i never took the meds the doc prescribed because my mom didn't let me (she also thought it was psychological...and it is in a ton of cases). anyway, once i found this site i didn't read up the bootcamp but i just went all out on everything. i gained like 19lbs of muscle/fat in just two months, i became fairly comfortable chatting up strangers, and now i just talk to anyone whenever and say whatever the **** i want to. i am actually naturally c&f so i have people cracking up a lot with that and my random humor. i think soma put it's best regarding being comfortable with what you say:
"People always ask me how I come up with the shiet I say...here's how...
Say whatever the fvck is on your mind. Really. Maybe it's outrageous. Maybe it's stupid. Maybe it's weird. Doesn't matter. Get used to saying whatever comes to mind without thinking about it whether you really should or shouldn't.
It will get easier with time and you'll exude charm. There will be times that you offend people, turn a girl off, say something so stupid you embarrass yourself, but that's the price you pay. Small fvckups in exchange for awesome, unforgettable memories and uniquely engaging conversations."
i do offend people occasionally, or even embarass myself but it's worth it for the big laughs. but like i said, you just have to do it. encouragement is bull****. you need to just do it, and that feeling you get from doing it once will give you the motivation to do it again. motivation comes from action not inaction.
also, going back to how this is related to wyldfire's post...you do should improve all aspects of your life. when i first came here i just wanted to talk to hbs, but now i want to be a better man. life is too short to be worrying about hbs all the time. and, if you have the other aspects of your life in check, then you have more time to get with those hbs. i think that putting the hbs as your priority is just as stupid (if not the same) as putting the hbs on a pedestal like afcs do. basically, you're setting aside your health, job, grades (if in school), family life, to pick-up hbs. you gotta fix everything else first because if you don't you'll either have to lie or do something else that's terribly immature.
my post/response turned out to be a mix of responses, but if you are afc you should listen. like i said, i had social anxiety, and now i always make a big entrance when i walk into a room or a party. i'm not "the life of the party" quite yet, but getting there.
let me give one last example. i just moved into a dorm, to live on campus for the first time (even though i've been going to this school for a while). even if i have put myself in a situation to have to get to know others and socialize, there are some who still don't do that. my roommate sits inside all day and watches anime or plays videogames. he even eats meals in his room or while walking, on his way to class. he's a social cacoon. i don't feel bad for him though...because only he can change himself. it won't matter how many times i tell him to come out and eat lunch with me...he needs to change his mindset, his habits, values, etc. the rest of my suitemates are alright, but afcs for the most part. they don't go to clubs, dance, care about how they dress, or talk to girls they don't know. but that's not what a dj is all about. they also don't read, give a **** about their financial futures, or exercise very much. i definitely stand out when i tell them i read in my free time, or i like to dance or whatever.
i don't know what makes them not change, but i think i've really taken it to heart that i and everyone else has ONLY ONE LIFE. LIFE IS TOO FVCKING SHORT. i'm not paranoid, but you could die tomorrow. FEAR IS and should be NONEXISTENT. you won't get a second life. stop dreaming and wishing. and you know what, i can almost guarantee, none of this encouragement can change anyone, unless they do something themselves.
this site is just a start. it's not supposed to be a miracle. just like there is no "get rich quick" scheme or "lose 100 lbs in a week" pill. there are no miracles until you make them happen.
i just wanted to give my example, because it totally proves your post wrong. i changed. so did some others. don't say this say this site is bad to compensate for others' shortcomings. this site gave me what i need to change my life. and my post is this long because i was really upset when i saw title of the thread. they should be teaching stuff like this...like how to become a man, in schools.
and i know i've said it tons of times, but thank you sosuave / members.
