This.. F*cking.. Sucks..

[f283000]

Korrupt i think you're being too hard on yourself brother. I think you're doing ok. You are out there talking to women and going on dates. Most guys are watching porn or browsing the net while you are out there in the field playing the game.

Sure you haven't had success with the last couple of women but we all hit a cold streak. I would be more worried if you weren't talking to any women at all.

Just keep doing what you're doing and sooner or later if you keep talking to multiple women and trying to spin plates you will find yourself spinning 2,3 or more plates. You will have women on your cell ready for a booty call when you need them. I'm sure of it.

 

[floydb25]

Not really, their urgency is one of two things. It's either a) that you've done an excellent job and they're hooked or b) they're impatient and want to hook-up and then move onto the next fish. Either way you're projecting scarcity and that your time is valuable. That's what women respond to ...

Yeah... That's why I was saying to not contact them, and let them come to you. But these guys are saying you have to go to them or they will never contact you. So, there's two wildly different ideas at play here.

I don't know if briefly talking to someone can be considered a "good job", though. It's more infatuation on their end than anything. That's why I keep stressing that someone who's into you will not make it difficult. Only when girls lose or never had any interest to begin with do they delay things, make excuses, are too busy, don't come in contact, are only responsive, etc. All the same, initial interest isn't meant to be taken seriously, and can change in an instant - especially if you screw up. They're not "hooked" by any means.

 

[Korrupt]

Korrupt i think you're being too hard on yourself brother. I think you're doing ok. You are out there talking to women and going on dates. Most guys are watching porn or browsing the net while you are out there in the field playing the game.

Sure you haven't had success with the last couple of women but we all hit a cold streak. I would be more worried if you weren't talking to any women at all.

Just keep doing what you're doing and sooner or later if you keep talking to multiple women and trying to spin plates you will find yourself spinning 2,3 or more plates. You will have women on your cell ready for a booty call when you need them. I'm sure of it.

Thanks.. I'm trying here! I'm usually hard on myself in all facets of my life, and like anything else, failure gets very, very frustrating. Especially with women (and when you haven't been laid in almost two months).

Another report.. Had an 18 y/o girl who lives like 5 minutes away come over this evening. She was thin and cute and we had some wine, chilled, and watched T.V. I teased her, we had some laughs, and the conversation wasn't bad. She initially sat in a chair instead of on my bed (where I was), so I had to ask her to come over to me. After a short time I went in to kiss her, and when I kissed her she didn't kiss me back. She said "not yet, we just met.." or something and all I said was "it's just kissing.." She wanted to smoke so we went outside for a few minutes, then came back in and she once again she sat in the chair. She told me she had to go soon because her parents wanted her in earlier tonight or something. Had more trouble getting her to come lay/sit on the bed with me, and soon after she had to go. Before she left I said "so are you gonna kiss me now or what?" She said "do you really want one?" I just smiled and laughed then she said "well come here." I got up and we made out then I told her that if she didn't want to do it, she didn't have to and if she wasn't into it she should just tell me straight up. All she said was "I kinda wanted to" with a smile and "oh I would." Walked her outside to her car, she told me to text her sometime, gave her a huge and that was that. Pretty disappointing.

 

[floydb25]

Still coming on too strong and being over-eager. This is the problem with not having success... You become desperate and pushy. Gotta chill and be more patient. Not everything has to happen right away. Gotta build some anticipation. ****, I might talk to a girl once, then run into her again down the line... Then maybe ask her out after a convo or some flirting. Not everything has to be right away. You also don't need to push for the physical so soon. It's not like if you don't start kissing and touching right away - you're going to the friend-zone. Besides, you have to seduce and tease them a little... Can't just jump right into it.

Main theme: patience. The faster you rush - the quicker you are pushing yourself right out of the picture. No one likes to be forced into anything. You want them to be comfortable and horny enough to want to do it on their own terms. You just nudge them in that direction. They should be the ones wanting sex with you. Same goes for a relationship, or anything else. Never ask or push.

 

[The_411]

Yeah... That's why I was saying to not contact them, and let them come to you. But these guys are saying you have to go to them or they will never contact you. So, there's two wildly different ideas at play here.

I don't know if briefly talking to someone can be considered a "good job", though. It's more infatuation on their end than anything. That's why I keep stressing that someone who's into you will not make it difficult. Only when girls lose or never had any interest to begin with do they delay things, make excuses, are too busy, don't come in contact, are only responsive, etc. All the same, initial interest isn't meant to be taken seriously, and can change in an instant - especially if you screw up. They're not "hooked" by any means.

It's certainly a paradox. It's predicated based on situation and knowing how you address the issue.

The man initiates and the female responds if she fails to responds or responds and delays it means the man can either try again later or elect to ignore and press on ...

No right or wrong answer unless you continue to press on when you are blown out.

For some it's a one and done, others a two and done and sometimes it's 3+ and not leaving with a restraining order.

We're best off analyzing if the effort is worth it after she's rebuked or been dismissive. Sometimes, stuff is happening or you tried to contact her and somethign crazy happened in her life. That's were the allowance for an additional contact happens.

Let's just say if she is non-committial you're 68.2% lost <math hat on> (one standard deviation <math hat off> and you do a second pass to address <math hat back on> two standard deviations (i.e ~95%) <math hat back off>

Some guys figure 68% of the case is sufficient and some feel 95% of the cases is sufficent.

The key is understanding that most women are going to hook/get together within two tries otherwise it's not going to happen except for the statistical outliers. It's about 60% less likely if you're making a second attempt.

 

[Korrupt]

Got in touch with the waitress on Monday. Said she was working but reciprocated and said she was free Wednesday (today). As it turns out wed was perfect for me. texted her today saying to meet me at some bowling alley at 6. No response for 4 hours.

EDIT:

Jesus Christ. She texts me back saying "Sorry I'm just getting back to you. My freaking job called me in at 12. One of the servers got sick so I had to cover for them otherwise I would've liked to do that."

Yep. Definitely leading me on. This pisses me off as well.

 

[.Paradox.]

Got in touch with the waitress on Monday. Said she was working but reciprocated and said she was free Wednesday (today). As it turns out wed was perfect for me. texted her today saying to meet me at some bowling alley at 6. No response for 4 hours.

EDIT:

Jesus Christ. She texts me back saying "Sorry I'm just getting back to you. My freaking job called me in at 12. One of the servers got sick so I had to cover for them otherwise I would've liked to do that."

Yep. Definitely leading me on. This pisses me off as well.

Bah. F*ck her. Just put the ball in her court and delete her texts/number and move on. If she's interested she'll hit you up, if she's not she won't.

 

[floydb25]

Did you plan this in advance, or shoot her a text telling you to meet her on the same day you texted?

 

[Korrupt]

Bah. F*ck her. Just put the ball in her court and delete her texts/number and move on. If she's interested she'll hit you up, if she's not she won't.

Yep. I remained cool and that's what I did. "It's cool. Hit me up next time you're free and wanna hang out." Then deleted her.

Did you plan this in advance, or shoot her a text telling you to meet her on the same day you texted?

Hit her up Monday saying we should go bowling, she says she's working but is free Wednesday, Wednesday was perfect for me so I said "Wednesday's perfect, I'll talk to you then," she said "sounds great!" So yes, it was planned in advance, at least partially. That's why I'm angry about it. She totally led me on and flaked.

 

[evansblue]

I think you played it pretty cool with your last response. Little bit of advice, strictly anecdotal - don't invite chicks out to a bowling alley. At least not right away. It comes off too strong, and sends out the relationship vibe. Keep it mind not many girls are good at bowling, and it's probably awkward for them doing that on a first date. They don't want to make a fool of themselves. Girls get nervous too.

A much safer bet is asking them out for drinks, which is what I do. It's cheaper, less awkward, and lowers inhibitions. It doesn't matter if I'm doing day game or night game - I always invite them out for a drink. If things goes sour, I can bail and vice versa. You can't really do that if you're playing bowling, or doing some activity. They're sort of "locked in".

Now, that isn't necessarily the reason she flaked, but it could have contributed. I've found that the initial texting process is crucial and if you come on too strong or suggest the wrong activity, you're toast. Contrary to popular advice, I would eliminate action dates completely.

Remember, these girls don't know you - it's a feeling out phase. That type of stuff is okay if you've known the chick for a while and want to pursue things with her, but IMO it's too forward for the initial meeting.

Stick to drinks, and take it from there.

 

[runner83]

A much safer bet is asking them out for drinks, which is what I do. It's cheaper, less awkward, and lowers inhibitions. ...

Stick to drinks, and take it from there.

I agree, meeting for a few drinks is always a good option in my experience.

 

[Korrupt]

I think you played it pretty cool with your last response. Little bit of advice, strictly anecdotal - don't invite chicks out to a bowling alley. At least not right away. It comes off too strong, and sends out the relationship vibe. Keep it mind not many girls are good at bowling, and it's probably awkward for them doing that on a first date. They don't want to make a fool of themselves. Girls get nervous too.

A much safer bet is asking them out for drinks, which is what I do. It's cheaper, less awkward, and lowers inhibitions. It doesn't matter if I'm doing day game or night game - I always invite them out for a drink. If things goes sour, I can bail and vice versa. You can't really do that if you're playing bowling, or doing some activity. They're sort of "locked in".

Now, that isn't necessarily the reason she flaked, but it could have contributed. I've found that the initial texting process is crucial and if you come on too strong or suggest the wrong activity, you're toast. Contrary to popular advice, I would eliminate action dates completely.

Remember, these girls don't know you - it's a feeling out phase. That type of stuff is okay if you've known the chick for a while and want to pursue things with her, but IMO it's too forward for the initial meeting.

Stick to drinks, and take it from there.

It was going to be a second date, not a first :/

For the first date we had drinks and it went great. I don't like using PUA lingo, but there were a lot of IOI's, the conversation was very good, we had a lot of laughs, we made out several times, and she told me to text her when I wanted to hang out again. This is why I'm pissed about it, because it doesn't make sense to me. If this were for a first date it wouldn't be as big of a deal, but it was for a second date.

 

[floydb25]

She was being disrespectful for not letting you know something came up at work, knowing that you had plans in advance. She didn't tell you until after the fact. Not cool. But these things are important - as it shows you what kind of people they are.

You're still taking all this too seriously, though. Stop caring and expecting so much. Nothing is set in stone this early. People are going to flake, blow you off, act like ****s, etc. Just gotta keep chugging along. Don't focus so much on one person. Even if you have multiple options - if you act desperate and pushy when things go well with one - they're still going to get turned off.

Take a chill pill, have some patience, date around, have fun, and stop worrying. You are taking this way too seriously, and becoming angry when things don't work out - instead of just enjoying yourself. You are too outcome dependent. It's only gonna make you more desperate and bitter, and it is going to show.

These girls can probably sense some desperation on you already. If you run into any predatory women - they're gonna use your weaknesses against you. Then, you'll really be ****ed. Knock it off, man. Don't be one of those guys with a huge chip on their shoulder, or you'll fail even more.

 

[.Paradox.]

I'm kinda using this topic as a log, but I haven't updated it with my recent "experiences." I actually got laid last Tuesday. Nothing to brag about, just an average chick from OkCupid who was DTF, and I wanted to break the 2+ month dry streak. I've also gone on 3 more dates in the last couple weeks..

They all SEEMED to go well. I've tried taking the advice from you all about toning down the aggressiveness.

First date was with a 25 y/o single mom. Had been talking to her for several days prior because she kept hitting me up. Had a good time, kissed her halfway through the date when we went outside so she could smoke, and at the end before we parted ways. I also said something about going back to her place and she told me "not tonight, but definitely another time.." to which I responded "oh, you don't want me to tuck you in tonight?" jokingly. I got home and saw a post on Facebook from her about being a cougar and dating a 21 y/o (me). Yeah, 25 dating 21 makes you a cougar.. Riiiiight. Anyways, I asked her out for the weekend but told me that she was working and had her son. I just told her to hit me up if she wanted to chill again. So long story short, she hits me up on Facebook today and ends up asking me if I'm taking her out on Wednesday for her birthday. I told her to come to my area and I'll take her out. She agreed. We'll see if it actually happens..

Next date was with a 29 y/o. Had a good time on the date, but after I kissed her she told me "I'm not sure how I feel about that because I'm not sure what I'm looking for.." Though she didn't reject my kiss. I ended up hanging out with her and her girlfriend that same night, which I usually wouldn't do, but she invited me and I just said f*ck it.. I hit her up a few days later about going out again, and to be honest I didn't even expect a response but she got back to me saying "that might be doable," and asked if I wanted to meet her and friends that night because they were going to explore some art gallery and spend the night at a hotel. I opted out this time but told her I'd be in touch when I figured out my schedule. Hit her up a few days later about doing something this weekend, she told me she's "back to the grind" and would let me know about next week. Not expecting anything.

The third date (last night) was interesting and I'd actually like input.. 30 y/o - date started out strong and kinda faded. Wasn't bad though. At some point she told me that I'm hard to read, which I've been told before (WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS MEAN?). I went for the kiss at the end of the date. She was going for a hug and I was going for a kiss, so she gave me some sh*tty kiss and I said "you totally weren't into that" and laughed. She then told me that she's been told that before, and didn't think I was interested in her because she didn't see any "I'm definitely gonna kiss you" signs from me. We had a short, interesting conversation after I said "look, if you're not interested I rather you just tell me because I don't want to waste my time." It went a something like this..

*bad kiss*

Me: You totally weren't into that *laugh*

Her: I've been told that before! I didn't think you were interested.. I didn't see you giving me any "I'm definitely gonna kiss you" looks.

Me: Wow, I really do have to work on my image, don't I? *laugh* Look, if you're not interested I rather you just tell me because I don't want to waste my time.

Her: (forgot what she said)

Me: Well are you interested or not?

Her: I'm not going to tell you that.

Me: That's just confusing..

Her: Yes, I'm interested! You're hot, I think I can have a lot of fun with you. Wow, I'm sorry, that sounded dirty.

Me: It should be dirty. Now come here and give me a real kiss..

*better, heavy makeout*

Yes, I realize how bad part of that sounded, but I honestly just didn't want to be chasing yet another uninterested chick. And I mean really.. How hard is it to simply say "yeah, I'd like to go out/hang out again?" Why the f*cking games?

But about this "you're hard to read" stuff.. What does it mean?

 

[Korrupt]

Wrong topic bro..