Thinning hair is a deal breaker?

[Stagger Lee]

I cannot give an opinion on the whole issue but the thicked line is true, apparently women hairstylist dont know how to deal with that or worse yet my paranoia suggested me something worse.

It came in my mind that they automatically perceive you as "lesser" in term of attraction so they unveil the problem to make the position obvious and kill any attempt of trying from your part.
Just like women who see you as either "IN or OUT" the winners club and act accordingly instead of considering a line with two extremities.
When you are IN, all you want is given without asking and you cannot do any wrong while when you are OUT no matter how silent or good you operate it seems you keep doing wrong anything.

Think about the skinny guy who managed to get some muscles and wear a t-shirt which hightlight his arms while taking the focus away from his lats, only to have his mother ironing that t-shirt to be tights on chest as to restore his appearance and stop him "getting ****y".

I know the paranoia level in these is high and I see it myself but I learned that social dynamics and interactions are complicated and sublogical most of the times.

Anywy if you have any doubt,just upload a picture for 24 hours so we can give you some useful feedback.

Absolutely, females even ones that are on your side and should mean well such as a friend or a relative, seem to even on subconscious level be driven to make you unattractive toward women. It's like they have no understanding of what makes a male attractive and unattractive to women.

In a lot of cases, it's partly intentional. Like you said, if a girl finds you unattractive, then she doesn't like you and doesn't want to facilitate you being more attractive. You are deemed unworthy of being in the "sex club".

Females seem to spend most of their efforts on undermining male attractiveness and sexuality. And men have to overcome all the roadblocks, obstacles and discouragement female throw in the way of attracting women.

In a way, it would make sense that females instinctively understand how and what is attractive to men more than what is attractive to women. And men would have more sense of what it is attractive to women. Although, for women it is a much simpler task of attracting men, while for men attraction is much more elusive.

I doubt I would post a pic of my hair here. I would probably either get a lot of nit picking and criticism, over-the-top suggestions, or claims that there is nothing wrong with the condition of my hair. Neither would be any help.

To give you an idea of what I look like, I'm 6'1, 180 lbs, have black hair with a mostly clear medium complexion. I have a masculine face and broad shoulders. It's actually quiet amazing how much a struggle it is to attract women, especially now due to apparently thinning hair. Just few minor imperfections like slight facial asymetry heavy eye brows an not a good smile can overide every other quality like height, being slim etc.

every minute detail is a deal breaker when you are shooting out of your league. Height, weight, hair, etc. These things matter on the margin.

Apparently if you're 30-something and have about an average looking face, something like thinning hair can put you out of the league of most every girl no matter how old, fat, and unattractive they are.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Female hairdressers are the worst, especially older ones, if you are balding. WhoDaresWins is correct. On some level, they view you as a "lost cause" so they won't even try to make you look better. They will just cut it all short ( like a one size fits all) including the top which makes balding more visible.

A guy is probably better at this sort of thing.

What female hairdressers don't GET is there is a big difference between looking nice/clean and looking F-able. They lean strongly towards the former and ignore the later.

At the end of the day, (if you aren't going to shave it or not shave it yet) you have to experiment and trust your gut, as far was what hairstyle to use.

Honestly, we don't talk about hair enough on this board. It's all height, body, body, muscles, muscles. While those things are important, I can't overemphasize how important it is to optimize your hairstyle (or shave it if you can rock it) .

Here is the evolution of Mike32ct's hair....

21 to 26 yo -- Short, full hair, but some thin grey streaks (It's genetic.) I left it alone because mom kept telling me it was "distinguished" and fought me tooth and nail when I ever suggested coloring it. Result: Never been kissed.

27 to 28 yo -- Short, full hair, but colored dark brown to match and get rid of grey. Result: Got first makeout and lay.

29 to 30 yo -- Long, slight balding, but thick messy/spiky. Result: Mad makeouts and a few lays.

31 to 35 yo -- Long, tall spiky in the front, balding getting worse, but still localized. Result: Mad makeouts and F-ed two 8+s.

36 yo --- Same hair, but bald spot got much worse. Result: Decent initial eye contact, but zero action.

Two month ago --- Buzzed it based on advice from the "knowledgeable" female hairdresser. Short completely grey buzz. Result: Compliments about how "nice" it looks. But generally, no female would even look at me. Result: No eye contact. Not even on the map, despite females telling me otherwise.

Current: Starting to grow it back and has some color in it. Result: Getting a little eye contact again, but no action.

Two month goal: Grow it back and re-color brown (but not so dark as to look fake). Spike the front (but not as tall), thin the sides and back to a bit more than a buzz, and leave a decent amount on the top. Result: Maybe I can eventually pull. At least I'll be on the map.

I'm not ready to shave it. I don't have the body yet, plus I really can't tan due to my skin condition (eczema).

But I won't rule out shaving it by spring if I find nothing else works. This is an ongoing experiment.

Like Edgar said in his signature thread, "Let your own experience be your guide with women." (Although I am still grateful for everybody's earlier picture feedback.)

If you do not have thinning hair or your hair thinned so gradually over time that no clear trend developed, then it can be hard to believe that something like thinning hair could be so detrimental. Then people point out how they shaved their non-thinning hair and it didn't seem to make a difference, but women can still tell the difference between buzzed normal hair and buzzed thinned-out hair. Or people point out that they seen a balding guy get girls. But he was likely a good looking guy with balding hair. That's different from having an average face and thinned hair, and who's to say he wouldn't be much more successful with full hair?

The main point is that seemingly small and insignificant appearance factors can have large and significant effects on your success. And it's not just something you can easily compensate for with other areas. If that were the case the appearance factor wouldn't have such an effect in the first place. The worst thing is the apearance issue like thinning hair can not just slightly negatively effect your success, but can cause a huge effect completely dropping you out of the running for any girls.

The clear trend coinciding with increased hair loss can't be ignored. It's the only plausible, tangible cause. Appearance is the biggest factor in attraction. Probably facial symmetery and balance is the most important. You can't change that. But I think hair and skin and complexion condition are also huge factors, and also set your apparent age. It's not talked about much here and I'm not sure how much it can be improved on.

I remember when I was a younger with long hair when it was still acceptable for men, I had girls ocassionally seem kind of ga ga over me. While still young and cutting my hair shorter I never experienced that effect. I think long hair generally makes men more attractive, but societal standards have made long hair unattractive. For example, the "mullet" use to be considered ultimate-cool, but now it is considered ultimately uncool. Thin hair and being older are now considered uncool and unattractive. I don't know that thinned hair was ever accepted but the media promoted the older man/younger woman when I was a young teen ager. What women find attractive is strongly influenced by society.

 

[scrouds]

When your thinning hair becomes noticible, you will never again be able to pull a chick hotter then a 4.25

 

[Boilermaker]

To give you an idea of what I look like, I'm 6'1, 180 lbs, have black hair with a mostly clear medium complexion. I have a masculine face and broad shoulders. It's actually quiet amazing how much a struggle it is to attract women, especially now due to apparently thinning hair. Just few minor imperfections like slight facial asymetry heavy eye brows an not a good smile can overide every other quality like height, being slim etc.

This is my last note directed to you, because you are so deeply wrapped up in your own bullsh!t, no amount of common sense will be helpful to you.

But I 'll tell you this.

You have serious confidence problems. And it doesn't make me happy to see I was right, right from the beginning.

Thinning hair is the least of your issues, dude. Seriously. You are your own c0ckblock.

 

[user43770]

When your thinning hair becomes noticible, you will never again be able to pull a chick hotter then a 4.25

This is a correct statement. My standards have changed since male pattern baldness. If I write about 10s, they're probably 4.25s on a hairy guy's scale.

 

[scrouds]

For me, I figure if I ever go bald, I'll just grow my back hair out and do a comb over.

 

[Stagger Lee]

This is my last note directed to you, because you are so deeply wrapped up in your own bullsh!t, no amount of common sense will be helpful to you.

But I 'll tell you this.

You have serious confidence problems. And it doesn't make me happy to see I was right, right from the beginning.

Thinning hair is the least of your issues, dude. Seriously. You are your own c0ckblock.

And you're so deeply wrapped up in confidence bullsh!t nothing will help you. I don't have any less confidence in the recent times vs the past. You are worse than the mainstream/conventional wisdom crowd that also explains everything as "confidence" that they either don't understand or don't want to admit the true reasons.

You dont know me or anything about my experience. So your assumptions and judgement calls are laughable on their face.

Furthermore, I'd go as far to say that confidence is the biggest bogus and meaningless concept out there. It's just a catchall phrase. I've known guys that weren't confident and would literally get the sh!ts before going into a bar, yet pulled lots of girls. Appearance is about all that matters.

 

[Stagger Lee]

When your thinning hair becomes noticible, you will never again be able to pull a chick hotter then a 4.25

If you were pulling 8 and 9 with a full head of hair, and have a good looking face and good nonverbals, you might drop to pulling mostly 7s and lower with more effort.

Now, if you were struggling to pull 7s without noticable hair loss and maybe don't have a great looking face, you could fall all the way out of the game all together. Even 4.25 seem to want to fvck the guys who can pull 7's or above lol.

 

[scrouds]

That was scarcasm. All you gotta do is find a new look that's sexy. Whether that shaving it, good plugs, a good looking rug, just make it happen. I would own it myself. In that case I recommend Tanner's advice over at masculine-style.com

April 11, 2012 at 2:34 PM
Ha. I hope your phone isn’t trying to tell you something. As far as your hair goes, I would say it largely depends on how bald you are and where it’s happening. If you are receding from the front and it’s not more than halfway back, you can get away with still cutting your hair like normal. If it’s balding from the crown, just shave it and embrace it. A shaved head is actually a turn on for a lot of women and can look more masculine. I have two friends who have to wear their hair like this and, while they resent not being able to mix it up now and then, they both look good. One is single and pulls a lot of girls and the other has been happily married for five years to a hottie.

If you don't want to go bald, its 2012. We got a procedure for that.

 

[BMX]

My hair almost always thins out considerably during the winters. I shave my head close to bald, sometimes completely bald during those times of the year. I rock the Ranger School look. It also looks great when you show up to live MMA fights where everyone walks around bald in the crowd.

 

[Who Dares Win]

If you were pulling 8 and 9 with a full head of hair, and have a good looking face and good nonverbals, you might drop to pulling mostly 7s and lower with more effort.

Now, if you were struggling to pull 7s without noticable hair loss and maybe don't have a great looking face, you could fall all the way out of the game all together. Even 4.25 seem to want to fvck the guys who can pull 7's or above lol.

Thats true, there are no such things as "continuum" for women, only two boxes which are MEN (attractive) and DRONE (random male).

Women dont describe men as hb7 or hb8 or whatever, they put them either on the winner box or in the loser one and even a fattie nowadays adhere to such consideration.

If any continuum happens its when you are already inside a box.

As I said before it doesnt matter what you "do" consciously, a girl once she put you in a box sees anything you do as belonginig to that type so a guy from the winner group who manhandle her becomes her macho man of which she brags about her friend while a man in the loser cathegory who buys her flower is perceived as stalker or creepy who just dont get it.

 

[mrRuckus]

I understand that it's an oversimplification to blame everything on hair. But when your experience with women changes significantly based on hair style, it can't be ignored.

Right, I don't mean it's the hair or not the hair, but instead the hair in combination with what else someone has going on.

I had been shaving my head for a few years, and out of curiosity I let it grow back. A few people said they liked me better with some hair, and a few said I should shave it again because I looked bad ass. I do lift weights and all that so I think I put that vibe out a bit with that body/haircut combo. If one shaves his head and looks like a dork otherwise or has bad to just average body language then I'd think he'd look like even more of a dork, but if he is rockin an alright body, then the shaved head might highlight the masculinity even more like an exclamation point.

One's head could be oddly shaped. Or his shaved head looks odd in combination with his eye brows, or something like that. You don't really know. I thought of the eyebrows thing because one of my exes actually said she thinks guys with shaved heads and thick eyebrows are hot. I would've never thought about eyebrows myself. Like clothes, things have to be taken into combination consideration and not just on their own. You can have on a sweet shirt but if you are wearing ugly pants then the shirt means nothing. It could even the type of baldness someone is experiencing (where he is thinning and the degree).

I ended up shaving it again because it's what I like better and I've never really liked dealing with my hair anyway. It takes 5 min to shave it rather than dealing with haircuts and sh1t.

 

[Findog]

I get way more attention from women now after I stopped fighting baldness and learned to accept it. Just shave it, dude.

Before:

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/225/444139217_32a7f4d03a_o.jpg

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/25/67271515_2fc8fed341_b.jpg

After:

http://farm1.staticflickr.com/250/520844924_7bdf75d2fe_b.jpg

http://farm2.staticflickr.com/1303/1109983446_1aa530bc3c_b.jpg

Of course I started exercising and eating better to get down to what I weighed in high school, but the point is to do the best with what you have. I'll never have a thick, lustrous set of locks like Clooney or Pitt but you don't need it.

 

[Mike32ct]

Thats true, there are no such things as "continuum" for women, only two boxes which are MEN (attractive) and DRONE (random male).

Women dont describe men as hb7 or hb8 or whatever, they put them either on the winner box or in the loser one and even a fattie nowadays adhere to such consideration.
.

This is so true.

A lot of guys that struggle with women really aren't UGLY per se. Many are average (give or take) looking.

But here is the catch...

Men recognize an average looking female. An average looking female is always able to find a guy.

But women don't recognize an averge looking male. You literally are good looking or unattractive. It's very binary. So a lot of average/ok/decent looking guys are literally treated like they are ugly or even fugly sometimes.

Then these guys post pics online for advice/feedback and guys say, "But you're a decent looking dude. Just do xyz to improve." The advice is solid, but the perspective is different because men recognize average/ok/decent looks.

I mean I've reviewed maybe 20+ guy pics on here (no homo). None of them were ugly (although I'm not a chick so I'm not the best judge). They ranged from ok / so so to hot.

If you were pulling 8 and 9 with a full head of hair, and have a good looking face and good nonverbals, you might drop to pulling mostly 7s and lower with more effort.

Now, if you were struggling to pull 7s without noticable hair loss and maybe don't have a great looking face, you could fall all the way out of the game all together. Even 4.25 seem to want to fvck the guys who can pull 7's or above lol. .

Even at my peak, 8 was the highest I could get. Typically, I was going for 7s and with some ok 6s now and again.

Throw in some hair loss and you upset that delicate balance.

The other difference has been the change in venues for me. When I was a few years younger, I went to clubs. In a club, you are STANDING most of the time. While I'm not tall, at 5'10", a 5'2" chick in the club is not super focused on my (smaller at the time) bald spot at the top of my head because it's not easily in her view. Plus its dark in there.

Now I'm older so it's more bars and upscale lounges. When you are seated next to the girl, she can see your hair close up and literally count the missing strands lol.

Mike32ct Tips:

Short guy with hair => Spike that sh*t up and game while you are seated. .

Taller (or ok height) guy losing his hair => Game standing up :yes: .

 

[rafasch]

Some guys don't look good without a head full of hair.
If you don't have the hair you MUST have the body, otherwise you will look like and old fat dude.
Google Carlos Tomaiolo and try to look like him )
His wife is hot, btw.

 

[Stagger Lee]

This is so true.

A lot of guys that struggle with women really aren't UGLY per se. Many are average (give or take) looking.

But here is the catch...

Men recognize an average looking female. An average looking female is always able to find a guy.

But women don't recognize an averge looking male. You literally are good looking or unattractive. It's very binary. So a lot of average/ok/decent looking guys are literally treated like they are ugly or even fugly sometimes.

Then these guys post pics online for advice/feedback and guys say, "But you're a decent looking dude. Just do xyz to improve." The advice is solid, but the perspective is different because men recognize average/ok/decent looks.

I mean I've reviewed maybe 20+ guy pics on here (no homo). None of them were ugly (although I'm not a chick so I'm not the best judge). They ranged from ok / so so to hot.

I agree females are more paticular about men's looks and appearance (and personality) than men are about females' looks. Women seem more particular about men's looks than they do with other females' looks that they will associate with. To females either a man is attractive or he is unattractive. Within the attractive and unattractive slots they can see a guy as being more attractive or less attractive, but it is fundamentally and either or slot.

Even at my peak, 8 was the highest I could get. Typically, I was going for 7s and with some ok 6s now and again.

Throw in some hair loss and you upset that delicate balance.

The other difference has been the change in venues for me. When I was a few years younger, I went to clubs. In a club, you are STANDING most of the time. While I'm not tall, at 5'10", a 5'2" chick in the club is not super focused on my (smaller at the time) bald spot at the top of my head because it's not easily in her view. Plus its dark in there.

Now I'm older so it's more bars and upscale lounges. When you are seated next to the girl, she can see your hair close up and literally count the missing strands lol.

Mike32ct Tips:

Short guy with hair => Spike that sh*t up and game while you are seated. .

Taller (or ok height) guy losing his hair => Game standing up :yes: .

Girls who are 7 to maybe 8 is the best I've been able to pull too by my scale. I don't ever give a girl higher than 9 and would rate most attractive girls 8, average girls about 6, slightly unattractive girls 5 and anything lower an UG .

Honestly by my scale most of the girl I pulled were 6 and lower. But increased hair loss didn't mean I dropped from pulling 8-7's to only pulling 6's and 5's. It meant almost never pulling at all. It goes back the the first point that women even if they're not attractive themselves are hypergamy and demand the guy to be attractive.

I have noticed that on most of my POF dates that I'd been now striking out on over 90% of the time we were sitting down next to each other. It would be very easy to see the thinning hair.

As opposed to receding hair line or a balding spot, my hair loss is the following pattern. I have a normal hairline but there's just generally thinning through out the top with a little more thinning toward the right side. The thinning is noticable even when I'm standing and viewed from a lower angle.

I've been using the rogaine for 3 or 4 weeks and along with the hair cut longer on top and shorter on the sides, I have noticed females reacting more positively to me. It's not as good as it was when my hair was thicker a few months back and I get asked my age a lot more, but it's better than before I started back on the rogaine and the different haircut. There's was really nothing I could do other than try to thicken and fill in the hair loss. Girls were shutting me down basically on first sight and before I got two words out. Or they even if they didn't let on to not being attracted on the POF dates I couldn't get compliance or a close at the end.

It's too much of a coincidence and a trend to not be the reason.

I was at the clubs last night and around closing time talked to this guy with a shaved head and he said he had thinning hair of my pattern. He just looked like a skin head really and I don't think shaving is the solution. I looked around at all the men left over at closing time in the "reject pile", and noticed many of them had buzzed hair, receding hairlines etc. That might say something right there.

 

[betheman]

I was in town today, got the bus home, guy and a girl got on the bus, she 6-7, he, thin, pasty, nerdy/geek age around 25, seriously thin hait but what he had left was shaved, still looked a nerd, thin black framed specs. later stop, another couple got on, she blonde, about a 7, he around late 20's, jeans, t shirt, atually looked cool but agan, noticable thinning hair.
both guys had stubble on their chins, first guy loked ad!ck second guy looked cool.
this thread is bull$hit

 

[Stagger Lee]

I was in town today, got the bus home, guy and a girl got on the bus, she 6-7, he, thin, pasty, nerdy/geek age around 25, seriously thin hait but what he had left was shaved, still looked a nerd, thin black framed specs. later stop, another couple got on, she blonde, about a 7, he around late 20's, jeans, t shirt, atually looked cool but agan, noticable thinning hair.
both guys had stubble on their chins, first guy loked ad!ck second guy looked cool.
this thread is bull$hit

What's bullsh!t in this thread? Your post really doesn't say much of anything but even if it did it somehow disproves other's personal observations and experience and infinite knowledge of their own life vs briefly observing passersby?

A 6 by your scale so likely pretty average and not attractive was with an average looking guy (but 25 so young) that for all we know is a friend or relative or maybe her BF that he formed a relationship with her when he was younger and had more hair (which he now shaves by the way). And the 2nd a 7 by your scale so maybe still pretty average and the guy who could be a friend or relative or made a connection with her years ago or who knows and in his 20's and looked cool.

For craps sake no one said that a guy let alone in his 20's of all ages couldn't ever get a 6 or 7 some way somehow. This thread was about the effects of thinning hair in cold approach pick up for a guy who could be over 30, average or below face etc.

Chances are you were overrating the girls and underrating the guys. Why weren't these guys with 9s or 10's if looks and hair is "bullsh!t" in attraction? Oh I know, they must not have had the right amout of confidence

Seriously, briefly observing a guy and girl together assuming they are a couple and subjectively rating the looks of the guy and the girl without even talking to them really doesn't tell you much.

 

[betheman]

What's bullsh!t in this thread? Your post really doesn't say much of anything but even if it did it somehow disproves other's personal observations and experience and infinite knowledge of their own life vs briefly observing passersby?

A 6 by your scale so likely pretty average and not attractive was with an average looking guy (but 25 so young) that for all we know is a friend or relative or maybe her BF that he formed a relationship with her when he was younger and had more hair (which he now shaves by the way). And the 2nd a 7 by your scale so maybe still pretty average and the guy who could be a friend or relative or made a connection with her years ago or who knows and in his 20's and looked cool.

For craps sake no one said that a guy let alone in his 20's of all ages couldn't ever get a 6 or 7 some way somehow. This thread was about the effects of thinning hair in cold approach pick up for a guy who could be over 30, average or below face etc.

Chances are you were overrating the girls and underrating the guys. Why weren't these guys with 9s or 10's if looks and hair is "bullsh!t" in attraction? Oh I know, they must not have had the right amout of confidence

Seriously, briefly observing a guy and girl together assuming they are a couple and subjectively rating the looks of the guy and the girl without even talking to them really doesn't tell you much.

son, you f cucking stink of insecurity, this was one example on a bus ride home today, get it? one example while out and about today, tomorrow, there will be more, get yor head out of your ar$e!
cold approach pick up???? looks a pile of sh!te to me, I dont belive in it, stop believing that crap is the be all and end all, its not. what you and others need to learn is quite simple, if a girl is into you, she will be, you cant force it, its numbers. cold apporoach increases the numbers, a lot of cold approach vids Ive seen leave me absolutely cringing.

 

[Stagger Lee]

son, you f cucking stink of insecurity, this was one example on a bus ride home today, get it? one example while out and about today, tomorrow, there will be more, get yor head out of your ar$e!
cold approach pick up???? looks a pile of sh!te to me, I dont belive in it, stop believing that crap is the be all and end all, its not. what you and others need to learn is quite simple, if a girl is into you, she will be, you cant force it, its numbers. cold apporoach increases the numbers, a lot of cold approach vids Ive seen leave me absolutely cringing.

I'm insecure? No, and theres no basis for your accusation other than your refusal to believe appearance matters, but you seem like a nasty, bitter, hateful and aging man. And honestly you don't make a lot of sense. True, a woman is either into you or shes not and you can't force it but what do you think makes her interested in you or not from the get go? Your appearance. Even confidence or insecurity is perceived by appearance. Even if a woman is into you she's not likely to approach you. You approaching her even if she displays some IOIs still constitutes a cold approach. Virtually every lay I've gotten and it's well into the double digits was from cold aproaches.

I observe men and women all the time too. And I see mostly good looking and younger guys, and guys with normal hair with girls. You really have no point other than this belief that unattractive guys (by your opinion) do well with women for reasons unknown and mysterious besides vague and mystically reason like "confidence". I've winged with many guys probably over a 100 through lairs and you know the only ones that were good with pick up amounted to only three guys who were good looking and had good hair. The one that was probably the best actually was outgoing but was somewhat insecure or nervous but he was the best looking and had that "jersey shore" look.