Thinning hair is a deal breaker?

[Stagger Lee]

Now it looks correct.

If you read my early posts the huge drop in attracting women was sudden and "inner game" had nothing to do with it, because until I saw the trend I had no reason to even suspect a problem to effect inner game. My inner game was if anything worse back when I was closing girls from the internet and bars.

"Inner game" is another pick up dogma that is really just repackaged conventional wisdom that "confidence" is the end all be all. It's a vague term that has no real meaning outside of appearance. Let's face it, even if you could define and quantify it, it's still dependent on the perception of the female observing you. That's subjective and is essentially just perception of appearance. Is a guy confident and smooth or is he arrogant, weird etc? It all depends on appearance. The good looking guy is confident and the not good looking guy is arrogant.

Also it's classic human nature to blame everything that happens to someone on them personally. Some shortcoming in their personality or mentality must be the reason for every outcome they experience. No, the truth is one's enviroment and outside factors are usually the biggest factor, but people tend to always blame the person personally.

Dating and everything else is mostly about appearance and the visual.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I've been in a dry spell for nearly two years which coincides with my bald spot getting worse.

I have it buzzed right now. I got a few compliments on it (from much older women only) but zero action.

I haven't taken the full plunge and shaved it yet. I work in a small gossipy office and will get plenty of unwelcome comments when I finally do shave it.

I agree with everything Stagger says. It is 90+% looks. The sightest thing derails your game. Even when I had all my hair, I had to keep the exact same hair style, shirt, and shoes to be able to pull. The slightest change to my look meant no makeouts, numbers or pulls. It's like a combination lock. Actually it's more like trying to tune in a short wave radio. Move the radio a quarter inch to the right and get all static lol.

Hey Mike, I remember your posts from the past and always thought you had interesting things to say. I'm not a bit surprised that the dry spell coincided with increased hair loss after my experience.

I at first would say that being able to pull isn't quite like an exact recipe or combination lock, but you know what you're right it is. The standard to get sex with any women even fat and ugly ones is actually quiet high nowadays. It also has a sharp cut off. Either you are in the "sex club" or you're all the way out of it in the "reject club" it appears. The most trivial appearance factors (it's always about appearance) can throw one in the rejection pile.

Of course there is a continuum of how successful you are, ie, how easy and often you can get lays, and how hot of girls you can get. But your appearance has to be at a certain level to even be in the game at all.

I wouldn't have thought a little thinned out hair would be such a detriment, but I'm not surprised at all that any appearance factor can be very detrimental. It's very hard to over come appearance hurdles like hair loss with personality or confidence or inner game.

Anyway back to the difference with thinner hair. I've experienced things I never experienced before in all the years I've been gaming. Girls ending dates moments after meeting, girls going home and blocking me on the dating site after the date. In the past I could meet up with a girl and basically ignore her the whole time, or say things that now "offend" my dates that before they'd agreed with and found interesting and they were almost always DTF. Not anymore. This game is all about apearance.

 

[Boilermaker]

Also it's classic human nature to blame everything that happens to someone on them personally. Some shortcoming in their personality or mentality must be the reason for every outcome they experience. No, the truth is one's enviroment and outside factors are usually the biggest factor, but people tend to always blame the person personally.

Dating and everything else is mostly about appearance and the visual.

Yes, it's classic human nature to find outside excuses and make unfounded attributions. While you are recognizing that, you seem to be falling into that very pitfall.

We all know, empirically and biologically that women don't put as much value to appearance as we do. Yet, you will always find an excuse in your physical imperfections if you LOOK FOR one every time you fail.


So you don't know what makes you fail until you nail it for sure that it's your hair, and chances are that it's not your hair, because I personally know a lot of balding guys pulling stunts that you can't even imagine.

Also from a practical point of view, you gain nothing by whining about your environment and stuff you can't change so it's not helping you anyway.

Focus on stuff you can improve, and that is INNER Game. INNER game isn't just some terminology, it is the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT tool in a DJ's arsenal.

Stop being defensive and think about it, bald man.

Cheers.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Stagger Lee,
Look your fears are a lot of Cods Wallop,you are becoming fixated,positively obsessive mate...forget it and also give up the Bar scene,it's a waste of time...Shaving your head is fine if you have a large square cranium,if you are a Nordic type,it looks downright ugly...my son is the latter had Chemo some years ago,lost his hair poor bvgger...disastrous!...you are aging,almost coming into your prime,just go other places!

 

[st_99]

Well, i have a full head of hair.. the last girl I had exteme oneitis over ditched me and when I saw her new boyfriend, dude was extemely thin and basically will be totally bald in a couple years. So.. go figure. and yes, they are still together.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Yes, it's classic human nature to find outside excuses and make unfounded attributions. While you are recognizing that, you seem to be falling into that very pitfall.

Research has shown that people tend to underestimate outside factors and over-estimate personal factors. You are just proving the argument.

We all know, empirically and biologically that women don't put as much value to appearance as we do. Yet, you will always find an excuse in your physical imperfections if you LOOK FOR one every time you fail.

Totally ufounded statement and just repackaged conventional wisdom. Don't be confused. Women don't just put emphasis on looks but personality, status etc, whereas men primarily foucus on looks. But that doesn't mean that women don't put value on looks and appearance. If anything they hold men to a much higher standard for looks than men do women. The evidence shows that even unattractive women can get plenty of sexual partners.

So you don't know what makes you fail until you nail it for sure that it's your hair, and chances are that it's not your hair, because I personally know a lot of balding guys pulling stunts that you can't even imagine.

And I know a lot more bald guys who strike out with women. I never said that balding was impossible for some guys to overcome. But they likely have good looks otherwise. It's not just "inner game" that makes the difference.

Also from a practical point of view, you gain nothing by whining about your environment and stuff you can't change so it's not helping you anyway.

Focus on stuff you can improve, and that is INNER Game. INNER game isn't just some terminology, it is the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT tool in a DJ's arsenal.

"Whining" about the enviroment? See that's just making things personal like I said. Inner game means absolutely nothing outside of appearance. And if a person has thinning hair and for sake of argument that is hurting his success, there are ways to improve on the hair loss. "Inner game" which isn't necessarily the issue in the first place, just your assumption, and that can't even be defined and therefore can't really be changed is completely bogus. You might as well say I'm a sinner and need Jesus. That's how meaningless the concept is.

Women are not mind readers. This game is all subjective interpretation of one's outergame.

Stop being defensive and think about it, bald man.

Cheers.

Maybe you should stop being offensive . If someone with years of experience relates their experience, they don;t need some tired old "inner game" platitude that's really just a thinly-vieled personal criticism.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Well, i have a full head of hair.. the last girl I had exteme oneitis over ditched me and when I saw her new boyfriend, dude was extemely thin and basically will be totally bald in a couple years. So.. go figure. and yes, they are still together.

Of course a balding guy (or short, skinny etc) can get a girl when any girl could always get a guy with thick hair. But doesn;t negate the fact that it can be a huge turn off to a lot of girls, can lower a guys success rate, or that he has to compensate in many other ways.

It would be really good if I or any guy losing his hair could get a really professionally done hair piece like many actors have. It's not really something I'm in a position to do. If he discovered that women responded better and gaming became much easier and more productive, what would people likely say? They'd still bring up the unfounded and chicken and egg argument that it wasn't the improved hair but its effect on his "inner game". People just won't accept that appearance matters and that much in life is dependent on luck and outside of one's control.

 

[Boilermaker]

Research has shown that people tend to underestimate outside factors and over-estimate personal factors. You are just proving the argument.

What research? What evidence?

Totally ufounded statement and just repackaged conventional wisdom. Don't be confused. Women don't just put emphasis on looks but personality, status etc, whereas men primarily foucus on looks. But that doesn't mean that women don't put value on looks and appearance. If anything they hold men to a much higher standard for looks than men do women. The evidence shows that even unattractive women can get plenty of sexual partners.

Truism. Nobody said women don't put emphasis on looks. The corrected statement is:They put it much less as compared to men. And you are thinking like a man when it comes to your hair. It's obvious.

And I know a lot more bald guys who strike out with women. I never said that balding was impossible for some guys to overcome. But they likely have good looks otherwise. It's not just "inner game" that makes the difference.



"Whining" about the enviroment? See that's just making things personal like I said. Inner game means absolutely nothing outside of appearance. And if a person has thinning hair and for sake of argument that is hurting his success, there are ways to improve on the hair loss. "Inner game" which isn't necessarily the issue in the first place, just your assumption, and that can't even be defined and therefore can't really be changed is completely bogus. You might as well say I'm a sinner and need Jesus. That's how meaningless the concept is.

No it isn't any more meaningless than your "opinions" and "grand theories" about how important looks are. Look at you, brushing off something as simple as "being confident" about it ; yet you can find "deeper" reasons for failure. Ever heard of Occam and his famous razor?

Women are not mind readers. This game is all subjective interpretation of one's outergame.

No they probably aren't. But outergame is a strong function of innergame. Read Roissy, you can fart in the middle of a yoga class and still pick up women, that's how biased and wrong your claims are about balding. You need help. I am giving you help.

Maybe you should stop being offensive . If someone with years of experience relates their experience, they don;t need some tired old "inner game" platitude that's really just a thinly-vieled personal criticism.

Experience by itself means nothing, especially in this country. Wisdom is in the head not in the age. The fact that you can even get hurt by someone calling you out on your insecurities show that you need a strong doze of "confidence" instead of binoxidil, further proving my initial doubts about why you think that way.

Cheers,

 

[Stagger Lee]

It's really a waste of time debating with someone who doesn't know squat about the situation assumes contrary to all the info given to them that confidence would the factor. Blaming everything on other posters' confidence or "inner game" on here is as old as dirt and a form of Fundamental attribution error http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error.

Your beliefs that inner game and confidence are of utmost importance, that someone is lacking it, and that appearance doesn't matter is just your erroneous opinion. Confidence without good appearance is just rationalized as pushy and creepy by females.

 

[flashpoint]

shave your sculp and quit whining

 

[Stagger Lee]

I've been using the minoxidil again for the past few weeks. It has started to slightly make my hair on top thicker and fuller. It'll take longer for the rogaine to really noticably thicken and fill in the hair and I'll probably never get it as full as it was over a year ago.

Also, the last hairstrylist she cut my hair on top really short. I let my hair grow out for a few weeks and had a man cut it this time who has thinning hair himself and has some understanding and sensitivity to it, unlike a female. He didn't cut any length off the top and cut the sides really short. This keeps the sides from looking so full and the top thin in relation.

Even though the hair improvements are slight, I can tell a difference in how females react to me. Thinning hair is a big turn off to woman, maybe one of the biggest and most universal. Attraction is almost all appearance and only improving your appearance will improve your attractiveness.

 

[Boilermaker]

blah blah blah ...

you spend a life time talking about menial details about your fvcking hair, even though nobody gives two sh!ts about it except you ...

You can already tell a difference in how women react to you because you have been using minoxidil for the past few weeks?

:crackup:


This comes from a guy who talks about big concepts like "Fundamental Attribution Error".

You are right, this discussion is useless, because you are a stuck-up drama queen who believes what she wants to believe.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I've been using the minoxidil again for the past few weeks. It has started to slightly make my hair on top thicker and fuller. It'll take longer for the rogaine to really noticably thicken and fill in the hair and I'll probably never get it as full as it was over a year ago.

Also, the last hairstrylist she cut my hair on top really short. I let my hair grow out for a few weeks and had a man cut it this time who has thinning hair himself and has some understanding and sensitivity to it, unlike a female. He didn't cut any length off the top and cut the sides really short. This keeps the sides from looking so full and the top thin in relation.

Even though the hair improvements are slight, I can tell a difference in how females react to me. Thinning hair is a big turn off to woman, maybe one of the biggest and most universal. Attraction is almost all appearance and only improving your appearance will improve your attractiveness.

I cannot give an opinion on the whole issue but the thicked line is true, apparently women hairstylist dont know how to deal with that or worse yet my paranoia suggested me something worse.

It came in my mind that they automatically perceive you as "lesser" in term of attraction so they unveil the problem to make the position obvious and kill any attempt of trying from your part.
Just like women who see you as either "IN or OUT" the winners club and act accordingly instead of considering a line with two extremities.
When you are IN, all you want is given without asking and you cannot do any wrong while when you are OUT no matter how silent or good you operate it seems you keep doing wrong anything.

Think about the skinny guy who managed to get some muscles and wear a t-shirt which hightlight his arms while taking the focus away from his lats, only to have his mother ironing that t-shirt to be tights on chest as to restore his appearance and stop him "getting ****y".

I know the paranoia level in these is high and I see it myself but I learned that social dynamics and interactions are complicated and sublogical most of the times.

Anywy if you have any doubt,just upload a picture for 24 hours so we can give you some useful feedback.

 

[user43770]

My hairline began receding when I was a teenager. It wasn't obvious to anyone else, but I knew what was coming. Over the years it got worse, as did my level of confidence. One time at a bar a college girl passed by, rubbed my head and said, "You're going bald." Haha no sh1t, I wasn't trying to hide it. I've always kept my hair short - even before male pattern baldness - so I suppose it wasn't as big of a deal when I finally grabbed a razor. Regardless, shaving my head with a razor is the best thing I could have done. Sure, more chicks probably flat out ignore because of it, but fvck them, a lot of chicks dig it. My confidence level is as high as it's ever been. I also work out a lot and have some sun on my head, which are a must.

 

[Mike32ct]

Female hairdressers are the worst, especially older ones, if you are balding. WhoDaresWins is correct. On some level, they view you as a "lost cause" so they won't even try to make you look better. They will just cut it all short ( like a one size fits all) including the top which makes balding more visible.

A guy is probably better at this sort of thing.

What female hairdressers don't GET is there is a big difference between looking nice/clean and looking F-able. They lean strongly towards the former and ignore the later.

At the end of the day, (if you aren't going to shave it or not shave it yet) you have to experiment and trust your gut, as far was what hairstyle to use.

Honestly, we don't talk about hair enough on this board. It's all height, body, body, muscles, muscles. While those things are important, I can't overemphasize how important it is to optimize your hairstyle (or shave it if you can rock it) .

Here is the evolution of Mike32ct's hair....

21 to 26 yo -- Short, full hair, but some thin grey streaks (It's genetic.) I left it alone because mom kept telling me it was "distinguished" and fought me tooth and nail when I ever suggested coloring it. Result: Never been kissed.

27 to 28 yo -- Short, full hair, but colored dark brown to match and get rid of grey. Result: Got first makeout and lay.

29 to 30 yo -- Long, slight balding, but thick messy/spiky. Result: Mad makeouts and a few lays.

31 to 35 yo -- Long, tall spiky in the front, balding getting worse, but still localized. Result: Mad makeouts and F-ed two 8+s.

36 yo --- Same hair, but bald spot got much worse. Result: Decent initial eye contact, but zero action.

Two month ago --- Buzzed it based on advice from the "knowledgeable" female hairdresser. Short completely grey buzz. Result: Compliments about how "nice" it looks. But generally, no female would even look at me. Result: No eye contact. Not even on the map, despite females telling me otherwise.

Current: Starting to grow it back and has some color in it. Result: Getting a little eye contact again, but no action.

Two month goal: Grow it back and re-color brown (but not so dark as to look fake). Spike the front (but not as tall), thin the sides and back to a bit more than a buzz, and leave a decent amount on the top. Result: Maybe I can eventually pull. At least I'll be on the map.

I'm not ready to shave it. I don't have the body yet, plus I really can't tan due to my skin condition (eczema).

But I won't rule out shaving it by spring if I find nothing else works. This is an ongoing experiment.

Like Edgar said in his signature thread, "Let your own experience be your guide with women." (Although I am still grateful for everybody's earlier picture feedback.)

 

[mrRuckus]

I never noticed any difference between having thick hair and a shaved head.

But i'm not a skinny dude or a fat guy. Those guys look a bit doofus-like with shaved heads usually.

It's going to be some combination of things and you can't really isolate on just one thing.

 

[Mike32ct]

I understand that it's an oversimplification to blame everything on hair. But when your experience with women changes significantly based on hair style, it can't be ignored.

I'm a skinny guy so my experience might be different than yours.

This whole game is a bit of guesswork. As a guy, you might never know EXACTLY what is holding you back. Women won't tell you. It's just your gut instinct, your experience, and what well intentioned men tell you. But you still might never know for certain.

 

[Boilermaker]

Thinning hair is NOT a deal-breaker.

And if this is so-suave, this must be our unanimous response.

Everybody has an excuse,

don't let this be yours.

 

[Burroughs]

even fat girls nowadays are delusional, entitled and think they deserve hot in shape dudes

what do you think hot girls want

do you think they give a second look to dudes w/ thinning hair...

i would think not

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhZZP3KDVqY :crackup: :crackup:

 

[user43770]

I understand that it's an oversimplification to blame everything on hair. But when your experience with women changes significantly based on hair style, it can't be ignored.

I'm a skinny guy so my experience might be different than yours.

This whole game is a bit of guesswork. As a guy, you might never know EXACTLY what is holding you back. Women won't tell you. It's just your gut instinct, your experience, and what well intentioned men tell you. But you still might never know for certain.

If your goal is to make it less obvious then check out Jude Law or Drew Brees. They both seem to do a pretty good job. I see a lot of guys hide it buy growing out the front and parting their hair to one side - it seems to work pretty well. I would think that spiking it would only make it more obvious.