Thinning hair is a deal breaker?

[Stagger Lee]

I had taken a break for a few months of going out to pick up in bars and from internet pick up. I started up again over the past week or so. I met up at the bar with about 5 or 6 girls met online. Not a single one of them end in a close. Just before I took a break I would say most of my meet ups ended with a close. Maybe as much as 90%, but if I had met 5 girls at least 2 or 3 would've been a close.

The meetups went well, my state was good and if anything better than in the past. The only thing that was different is my hair is a little more noticably thinner. Aparently having noticably thinning hair on top is enough to make it nearly impossible to get attraction and a close. If that's not the reason I sure can't find any other.

 

[grayclif]

Run a test - shave it. I think thinning hair on men makes them look older and less kept. I don't see how seeing a scalp through thinning lengthy hair is attractive. If you are fit, dress well and bald it is a lot more difficult to determine your age.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I think thinning hair does make one look older. I could probably pass for being 5 years younger and 20-something if my hair was thicker. What's funny is since I met all 6 of the women online, they knew my age and a couple of them were older than me.

I've never shaved my hair, but I wear it short. I'm not sure If I'd look better shaved or not. I think I really did test the thinning hair theory. All these women seen my pics, seen my info, and talked to me online. They were really acting interested and wanted to meet. The meet ups seemed to be going well, but every single one of them cut the date off after 1-2 hours and I never talked to them again. A few months ago I would've closed a majority of the women I met up with. The only thing different that I can see is the thinner hair.

 

[bugsquish]

This question is pretty close to me since I've been gradually watching my hairline disappear over the last 5 years. I've grown it long with a fringe, and I still have enough to disguise it in the field. This isn't going to work forever so I'm bracing myself for the shave at some point.

Having said that, I have a feeling that you may be worrying about this so much that it's affecting your confidence and that, in turn, is affecting your success. They probably don't notice it or think about it as much as you think.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Having said that, I have a feeling that you may be worrying about this so much that it's affecting your confidence and that, in turn, is affecting your success. They probably don't notice it or think about it as much as you think.

I'd say absolutely not. I didn't think about my hair being thinner at all. My confidence and state was if anything better than a few months ago. It was after meeting up with 2 or 3 girls and none of them panning out that I even thought there might be some issue. I met all 6 of these girls over a period of only about a week. It wasn't until afterwards that I was 0 for 6 when just recently I would've batted closer to 4 for 6, that I had to condider what could be the problem.

I have a pretty good feel for this stuff and I'm pretty sure something is off and the only thing I can determine is the thinning hair.

 

[Zunder]

Shave your melon mate, just do it.

Listen to me - I had early plug treatment when I was 20, the mental trauma I gave to myself for 20 years because of it is unexplainable. I got a huge scar from it running the back of my head to my right ear, and bumpy skin on the top of my head from the implants........and yet I still say shaving my head was the best I ever did and the chicks comment on it favourably 100%.

 

[vatoloco]

"Ever since I started not giving a shit whether women like me or not because I'm bald or not, I've had even more success with women! Now, don't get me wrong. There are some women who will never be attracted to me because they want a guy with a full head of hair. They just don't dig bald guys. Just like I don't dig fat, ugly chicks."

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1731343&postcount=44

 

[Zarky]

There's always some imperfection about you that you focus on. Here's a tip: it ain't the problem. Most likely the "problem" is something you don't even realize and can't see about yourself.

Think that one over.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Stagger Lee,



I actually have a full head of hair (at least the last time I checked, I did). lol

I only mention this because about 5 years or so ago, I used to cut my hair at the lowest length possible with clippers. Then, one day, I just decided to "man up", drop the clippers, pick up a razor and shave it ALL off.

The reason I shaved my head was because I wondered how I'd look if I ever did go bald. So I shaved it to get people used to seeing me clean shaven. I never expected to KEEP doing it when i started it. The good thing about it is that now if I ever do go bald-----the people I know are so used to the current "VU look" now that it won't even matter.

I've been rocking the shaved head look ever since. It's actually easier to deal with and I've noticed no decrease in the number of women that generally go for me. If anything, I've noticed an increase.

A lot of guys have been rocking the bald look for YEARS to GREAT effect. Guys like my boy "The Rock", Samuel L. Jackson, and the great Michael Jordon and a host of athletes and celebrities come to mind. But I'm African American, so arguably it can be said that there's a lot of us who've been successfully pulling this off for many years.

However, this is far, FAR from a culturally specific phenomenon. Here's a link of famous guys of various other ethnic backgrounds who have also represented the shaved-head look to full effect for just as many years:

http://hubpages.com/hub/Famous-Celebrities-With-Bald-Heads

When I was growing up, in my opinion, NOBODY rocked this look BETTER than my man Yul Brynner.

But at the end of the day, just remember that no matter how you wear your hair, if you confidently "OWN" that look, you'll definitely increase your chances of attracting and KEEPING women no matter which hairstyle you decide to rock.



PEACE...one day.


VU

 

[Stagger Lee]

VU that is a good point that you have rocked the shaved cut look for awhile. This would be a total change for me. I would have to get all new pics for my online page. The pics I had are a few months old and you really can't tell my hair is thin in them. Currently in person it is noticable. I was using rograine and had stopped using it for several months and had took a break from gaming for a few months. And I was shocked at how drastically my success dropped when I started back up recently.

I personally don't think my hair looks bad. So I'm shocked that it would change my success that much. I'm going to meet a few more girls and see if I can even get any closes now.

In that link I noticed Curley from the 3-stooges fame. He actually had a full head of hair but shaved for the stooges act. He blamed that on his lack of success with woman. He was also overweight of course.

 

[vatoloco]

...When I was growing up, in my opinion, NOBODY rocked this look BETTER than my man Yul Brynner.

The rest of this post was good but just the mention of my all-time role-model (at least on-screen) gets a +1 rep from me.

 

[korwinn]

hmm... I am 26 and my hair pretty much thinned out and have good balding in front. My confidence has definitely been affected by it, but what I have noticed is if I don't give a **** about it nobody else does either. I buzz my hair down to 1/2 guard or just use the clippers without the guards. Only thing I've noticed is that the gym, keeping a tan, and wearing nicer clothing seems to help.

Seems the thing one needs to overcome is the self image change rather than worrying about how you represent yourself to others.

I don't think it's a deal breaker though. Just be confident, smile, and fun.

 

[Boilermaker]

My brother's hair was thinning out as well.

Until he discovered Minoxidil. I think this is OTC.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minoxidil

 

[Boilermaker]

dp.

 

[Stagger Lee]

My brother's hair was thinning out as well.

Until he discovered Minoxidil. I think this is OTC.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Minoxidil

Yeah I think that is the active ingredient in Rogaine and the generic version of it. As I mentioned I was using it and it was apparently keeping my hair from thinning out too noticably.

The cost wasn't that expensive, but the problem was it was sort of a nuisance applying it everyday and it would kind of make your hair look stringy after application (it has to be left on for at least 4 hours to be effective). So I usually would have to wash it out before going out. The real reason I stopped using it was I wasn't convinced that it couldn't affect ones health. It is probably safe but I suspected it could possibly have effects on the heart and maybe sexual performance. Sure it might not be that dangerous and it is OTC, but it's even came out that NSAID like ibuprofenand acetametaphin can cause ehart problems. I try ro avois any and all medications especially ones taken on a regular basis.

Anyway as I explained before, thinking about my hair thinning had no basis in not getting any closes. It wasn't even on my mind in the least. It was when my closes suddenly dropped from almost 90% to 0% did I even consider what could be the issue.

I don't believe thinning hair or shaving one's hair off is a deal bereaker per se. But when you meet from online and it's not obvious your hair is thinner, it apparently was a deal breaker. If say one was shaved in their pics and girls wanted to meet up, and I'd assume some would, then it wouldn't be an issue. I guess the moral of the story is women have all these expectations and the littlest thing can be a deal breaker for them.

I'm still thinking a lot of women are nuts about a guy not having thin hair. To me I would not see it being an issue since thinning hair is mostly male trait. It's kind of like not being shaved it is obvious the remenants of a once full head hair are obvious and the female thinks there's a defext and NEXT. Women are always looking for a minor or trivial "defect". I think one can overcome any hurdle but I think on this online dating they were just surprised by it maybe and that made it harder than overcoming any thinning hair hurdle in a cold approach.

 

[Lexington]

Thinning hair is generally considered to be a negative trait, but it shouldn't always be a deal breaker in and of itself. I know some guys who have thinning hair who have gorgeous girlfriends and/or pull high quality tail. At the end of the day it's about the overall package. Some girls might just despise thinning hair so much that it would be a deal breaker. But most of them would be willing to overlook it if you've got other things going for you.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Well I went out tonight and it seemed like my game at the bar is working about as good as before. It's possible I just ran into 5 internet psychos in a row. I mean that's sometimes how the game plays out. I've ran into times when I was getting 5 closes in 5 days. So I guess 5 strike outs in a row could be an anomality of the game too. I guess I'm still in the game for a while longer.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I posted this topic about a year ago and my hair is probably a little more thinner than it was then. I never again had the success with women that I had before my hair was as noticably thin. I can't close women I meet from online over 90% of the time no matter how flawed they are. If I approach a girl at a bar I much more likely to be quickly blown out or c0cked blocked by her friend. When I do get the very small percentage of women home, they are just not as turned on, don't go for a 2nd session that night, or back out of the deal.

I've been at this pick up stuff for many years and through reasoning and observation had conclude that pick up and attraction is over 90% appearance and looks. But even I'm kind of surprised that small really meaningless things in your appearance could be such a strong and almost universal deterrent to attraction.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've been in a dry spell for nearly two years which coincides with my bald spot getting worse.

I have it buzzed right now. I got a few compliments on it (from much older women only) but zero action.

I haven't taken the full plunge and shaved it yet. I work in a small gossipy office and will get plenty of unwelcome comments when I finally do shave it.

I agree with everything Stagger says. It is 90+% looks. The sightest thing derails your game. Even when I had all my hair, I had to keep the exact same hair style, shirt, and shoes to be able to pull. The slightest change to my look meant no makeouts, numbers or pulls. It's like a combination lock. Actually it's more like trying to tune in a short wave radio. Move the radio a quarter inch to the right and get all static lol.

 

[Boilermaker]

I agree with everything Stagger says. It is 90+% looks. The sightest thing derails your inner game.

Now it looks correct.