Things I Have Learned

afterbuzz

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Over the passed few years, in actively and consciously meeting women, I have learned a few things. Some of these came as enlightening epiphanies, some came with groans and slaps to the forehead. But they all came with experience. Anyway, here are some things that I have learned over the years:

- It’s supposed to be fun. You can’t and won’t win em all. Get something out of every interaction you have with a woman. Learn something. Entertain yourself with her.

- Be willing to change, but only for yourself.

- It really is a numbers game. Play the numbers, roll with the punches. It’s a roller coaster, ups and downs, baby. “When you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems and when you’re down it seems like you’ll never get up again.” You will.

- “Good things come to those that wait”. Not this time. Good things come to those that act. The 3-second rule works on many levels.

- Silence is a tool. As such, it can be used correctly and incorrectly.

- Social proof is the closest thing to magic you or I will ever see. It can come out of nowhere, and it is self perpetuating. Learn how to use it.

- In general, it is bad form to apologize. For anything. You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don’t apologize.

- There is no such thing as overconfidence. There is such a thing as taking yourself too seriously, however.

- Do not ask permission to do or say anything. Never ask a woman if you can kiss them, hug them, hold them, f*ck them, etc.

- Agreeable is boring.

- Jealousy is a LJBF's best friend.

- Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny. Listen to comedy albums. George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock.

- The best part of any relationship is the beginning.

- Wishful thinking is suicide.

- A gift should say “I was thinking of you”, not “I was thinking of f*cking you”

- Never ask questions that are designed to find out what she thinks of you. This is from this board, I think. Whoever articulated it that way, props.

- Role reversal is great fun, and it works. Act like she is trying to get into your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.

- Persistence is a valid tactic. It can be very rewarding. Remember to keep your sense of humor about it.

- Learn to understand and speak body language. Go people watching. Interact with everyone you meet.

- Nobody likes a complainer. Unless he’s really funny.

- Be romantic, but don’t be a p*ssy. She already has one, what makes you think she wants another?

- Al Green, D’Angelo, Portishead… and candles.

- A fireplace is a worthwhile investment.

- A drop of vanilla extract in your bottle of cologne. One spray on your throat, one on your chest, and a little behind your ears.

- The only thing that matters with a woman is now. What she thought of you 10 minutes ago is probably different from what she thinks of you now and what she might think of you 10 minutes from now. So don’t worry about what she thinks of you.

- You must lead. Even if you don’t know where you’re going. Make it an adventure. Take her hand and lead.

- Touch her first, immediately, briefly. Let the kino progress naturally. Don’t force it.

- Women make a lot of assumptions when they first meet you. A lot more these assumptions than you think are made based on your haircut and your shoes.

- Life isn’t fair and dating is a part of life. Dating, dealing with women, isn’t and isn’t supposed to be fair. Get over it.

- There is no such thing as playing out of your league. Everyone is in the same league. There may be all-stars and scrubs, but even all-stars lose and even scrubs can become all-stars with practice.

- Smoking socially will turn some women off, but will help you meet a lot of other women.

- Women love dogs.

- Take periodic breaks from the game. Focus on your other interests. Get your sh*t straightened out. Do something else, then come back.

- Get her to call you, do you favors, adjust her schedule for you, etc.

- Making and having rules is good, but make sure you and she can stick to them.

- The difference between being congruent and sending mixed signals: Being congruent has to do with who you are. Sending mixed signals is about how you feel about her.

- If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take into account. First, she will turn into her mother. Second, she will turn into her mother.

- Women marry their fathers.

- A woman will test you and keep on testing you. Don't get too comfortable. Stay on your toes.

- Good dancers are good in bed.

- Good kissers are good in bed.

- The “f*ck 10 other women” cure for one-itis usually kicks in long before you get to 10.

- Don’t let flirting drag on. Stop while it’s still fun. Close, or leave and come back.

- Women like sex just as much as we do. They like to talk about it just as much as we do too, maybe even more. But not in the same way.

- “It’s not what you hope for, it’s not what you deserve, it’s what you take.” Take action, get action.

[This message has been edited by afterbuzz (edited 05-20-2002).]

[This message has been edited by afterbuzz (edited 05-20-2002).]

[This message has been edited by afterbuzz (edited 09-09-2002).]
 

Turbobird

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Nice list, afterbuzz!

I found a lot of smart words, and I have taken notes.


------------------
/Turbobird
 

Disciple_5573

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Damn man, that's a lot good sh*t!! The way you've learned from your experiences is absolutely commendable. Believe me, most guys never do. They just keep repeating the same self-destructive patterns over and over again like a dog chasing its tail in a circle. You, my friend, are in a very small group of thinkers in this world. Remember this: There are three types of intellect or thinkers in this world. The first group are people who are able to draw their own conclusions based on their own ability to analyse things. The second group of people are only able to appreciate or use what others have been able to figure out. The third group neither figures things out on their own or appreciates the wisdom of others. The first group is the most excellent. The second group is good. The third group is useless. Your on the right path and your going to do a lot of damage out here and have these girls weak in the knees if you haven't had them already. Just keep looking to learn from yourself, other people's mistakes, and from those rare wise men who can enlighten us. I am always looking to learn something of value and that's why I became Disciple because a disciple is one who seeks to learn and grow and expand one's perspectives. Just keep doing what your doing and no one will be able to stop you. Good hunting to ya!!
 

afterbuzz

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oh yeah and talk slowly and pause occasionally, talking or moving
 

CaptainSlinky

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Thats some really good stuff there, really an eye-opener.

Can I get a little more information on the drop of vanilla in the cologne? Is it really an important difference, and would it work with almost any cologne?
 

studmuffin15

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best friggin post ever..concise and to the point! thats one that gets printed out and pasted on the wall for quick reference when times get tough!
 

CrocodileHunter

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You nailed it man....Couldn't have said it better myself...

I thoroughly enjoyed this post.
 

afterbuzz

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Just a drop of vanilla in most colognes works very well. Women love the smell of vanilla. Colognes I have tried with vanilla with success:

cool water
d&g pour homme
armani

It won't cover up all your AFC mistakes, but it will improve your chances.

[This message has been edited by afterbuzz (edited 05-28-2002).]
 

tonight

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First of all, awesome post man!!

- If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take into account. First, she will turn into her mother. Second, she will turn into her mother.

- Women marry their fathers.
This is soooo true. Tommy Lee once remarked:

"The next time I meet a girl, I'm going to ask to meet her mom right away.... because every focking girl I've ever had a relationship with, they are all just like their mother. I don't want to believe it, but it's been proven to me time after time" (THE DIRT, p.181)

If any other guys have comments on this, I'd be interested to see them.

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We've all heard the saying, "Knowledge is Power." Many people think that information is power, too. It's not. Information is nothing but information. Information can become power, but only when it is applied.

-Matt Furey
 

afterbuzz

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yeah, tommy lee knows what hes talking about. almost all women, from heather locklear to pamela anderson to katie sue down the street, are just like their mothers
 

Ronin

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2 things.

1) i am going to print this off.

2) I used to have a cologne called 'raw vanilla for men. It was one of those really cheap 10 dollar bottles that you can get in drug stores. It was found with all of the knock off colognes. Anyways it drove girls nuts. Best $10 I ever spent! Girls were going crazy for the smell of vanilla.


So that is a great tip of advice!

Ronin
 

afterbuzz

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another tip.

When giving (gifts, food, affection), think of it as a REWARD and not a BRIBE. This is an important distinction.
 

afterbuzz

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kino tip:
when walking with chick you know, push her so that she almost bumps into people walking the opposite direction or into a bush or river etc, then as shes about to hit them, or fall or whatever grab her waist and pull her back. now you can keep your arm around her waist the rest of the time.

for college kids:
hit a chick (or a group of chicks) with a frisbee or a football or something (not too hard though, cowboy). when you go to retrive it, ask if anyone is hurt. tell them to write their names and numbers down, so you "can pay for their medical bills" or whatever.
 

looneybird

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- Role reversal is great fun, and it works. Act like she is trying to get into your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.

Hi.....
To all the DJs here.

AFTERBUZZ or anybody else, can you elaborate on your above point. What exactly do u mean by "Role reversal". Under what circumstances above shud b applied. Explain with a real example if possible. ---- thnks

------------------
Kiru
 

looneybird

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- Role reversal is great fun, and it works. Act like she is trying to get into your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.

Hi.....
To all the DJs here.

AFTERBUZZ can you elaborate on your above point. What exactly do u mean by "Role reversal". Under what circumstances above shud b applied. Explain with a real example if possible. ---- thnks
 

afterbuzz

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looneybird, what I mean by role reversal is pretending that she is the one picking you up, and not the other way around. Tease her about it, play hard to get, accuse her of trying to seduce you, say you're not that easy, etc. Its just good flirting.
 
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