They will punish you for treating them well. They cant help it

[Guy69JackBlue]

Ah. So the purpose of your inquiry is to lampoon & insult me. Ok. Let’s address that shall we?

You also insult every divorced man on this site since you think divorced means low quality. Any of the men here would are divorced can tell you that in marriage you can only every be 50% of the partnership. If, after you are married your wife drops her wife responsibilities and refuses to uphold her vows, no matter what you do or how great you are? Eventually you’ll leave if you have self respect.

On A: Self respect at a deep level comes first. Read in my Unicorn thread if you want my full personal story. I was loyal, committed and went above & beyond in my marriage. I was faithful. He became a depressed disorganized mess after his business failed. Crawled in a dark hole never to crawl out. After years of doing everything I could I divorced him at great financial peril (since I ended up as the breadwinner). I told him 5 years prior to divorce that I would leave the marriage if he didn’t pull himself together in very specific ways. He didn’t. I left. Best decision ever. My children agree. And they love their father.

On B: My Ex husband was a businessman who owned a very successful business when we met & married. Yes it was a nightclub, and a well known one that is still operated today by the guy who eventually bought it after the partnership fiasco my ex husband went through. It is a destination club. My ex husband built it into that. Criticizing me for the line of business my partner is in is silly and childish. His business was perfectly legal. If I married someone engaged in something illegal then you’d have a point. As it is this is a grasp at a straw at best.

On C: I am LTR woman. I don’t do casual and I don’t do STRs. Yes a BF of mine got physical. And I immediately ended the relationship. I’ve not contacted him since AND I am a witness in the state’s criminal case against him. Domestic violence can happen to anyone. Staying in an abusive relationship would be low self esteem. I left and never looked back. Again it’s about self respect.

On D: Now you’re just jealous & taking pot shots. People regularly peg me at 35 or so. Women & men, strangers & people who get to know me. 8 years younger is not a cougar in my book. My grandmother’s second husband (she was widowed by my grandfather)….was 8 years younger. They were married 35 years and she outlived him too. My BF chose me without knowing my age. He just thought I was the hottest woman at a crowded venue with women from 20s up there. And this is in an area well known for beautiful women. So poking at me for dating a little younger is again silly and childish…

Good luck to you. Concentrate more on getting your own life together. I share my circumstances here to illustrate how a high self esteem woman conducts herself. Self respect always comes first. And that is why treating women like trash is counter productive. Women like me will not tolerate it.

So you have no quality results of any kind... Yet you still think you're qualified to give advice to MALES about what they should do with themselves? Ridiculous.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Ah. So the purpose of your inquiry is to lampoon & insult me. Ok. Let’s address that shall we?

No, it wasn't. I was just curious if you were going to put yourself in this "elite" group of unicorn women (I was 99% certain that the answer would be yes). In fact, I don't think I've ever met a woman who did not consider herself high quality. I'd venture a guess that the prostitute in OP's video also considers herself a high quality woman.

At the end of the day, one's life experience is largely a product of his or her choices. You chose your dud husband. You chose your abusive boyfriend. You chose to date a much younger guy (who will not stay with you for the long term, as we both know). Those are choices that you didn't have to make. You claim to have above average looks and to be from a privileged background. If that's true, there were many options available to you. You could be dating some "boring", non-violent, family-oriented guy with a normal job. You know, the type of guy that a loyal, committed, emotionally mature woman would choose. But that's not what you're after, is it? You want excitement. You want a guy who owns a nightclub or is a "semi pro" athlete a decade younger than you. To me, that's not a sign of emotional maturity. You are the female equivalent of a man who wants to marry a playboy bunny and have her stay at home and raise his children.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

No, it wasn't. I was just curious if you were going to put yourself in this "elite" group of unicorn women (I was 99% certain that the answer would be yes). In fact, I don't think I've ever met a woman who did not consider herself high quality. I'd venture a guess that the prostitute in OP's video also considers herself a high quality woman.

At the end of the day, one's life experience is largely a product of his or her choices. You chose your dud husband. You chose your abusive boyfriend. You chose to date a much younger guy (who will not stay with you for the long term, as we both know). Those are choices that you didn't have to make. You claim to have above average looks and to be from a privileged background. If that's true, there were many options available to you. You could be dating some "boring", non-violent, family-oriented guy with a normal job. You know, the type of guy that a loyal, committed, emotionally mature woman would choose. But that's not what you're after, is it? You want excitement. You want a guy who owns a nightclub or is a "semi pro" athlete a decade younger than you. To me, that's not a sign of emotional maturity. You are the female equivalent of a man who wants to marry a playboy bunny and have her stay at home and raise his children.

There's no point arguing with a narcissist. Even if you prove yourself correct, they won't agree. They have too many defense mechanisms blocking them from seeing reality.

 

[Grounded eagle]

These are women with self love and self worth and self respect. If, as a man, you treat this type woman like an insecure self loathing individual, when this is the type of woman who loves herself, respects herself and values affection and display of loyalty & kindness?

You’ll run this kind of woman off in short order. In other words you are deselecting the best, most rare & most valuable women. You treat a chick like trash? You are selecting FOR trash.

That is why so few men here understand what a high self esteem, high value woman acts like. You guys screen them out…and they are rare to come across in the first place….

Once upon a time I lost a really nice girl this way.

 

[Grounded eagle]

The manosphere has many mantras and advice that's toxic and unhealthy. This can be very dangerous for men who arrive hurt and swallowing every piece of information without thinking critically. If you're not careful, there are chances that you'll end worse than before.

Best example is AWALT.

Fair point.It should be MOWALT.Most women are like that.

 

[BeExcellent]

Here’s what you fail to grasp. My ex husband didn’t present as a “dud”. That came out AFTER the marriage. No way I could have vetted that out. Marriage is “for better or worse”. This is why I remained steadfast & committed as long as I did. For the sake of the family unit as well…until it became obvious that staying was creating other issues for the children and myself.

Likewise my ex BF did not present as abusive. That did not emerge for a long time (neither did the degree of his deception). No way I could have vetted that out either.

But I dealt with each situation.

Life throws unexpected things at people. My ex husband’s family was a great example of what a family should be. One day, when he was 12 his father died suddenly and unexpectedly. Things happen. Your character comes from how you cope with these things. My ex husband had made a success of himself in spite of the tragedy in his family.

Who cares who I date? He’s a great guy by the way…but you seem unhappy about that. Look. Desirable people ALWAYS have options. I’m no different. Neither is my BF. We each chose each other from amongst those options.

Why so much heartburn? Go date yourself a hot young lady & call it good. Sheesh.

I’ve got an enviable life in many ways. I know what I like, what I need and why. If you saw my actual life you’d see very quickly that what I share is true. My BF is happy for example and so am I. All you do when you throw out this “of course he’s going to leave you” rhetoric is demonstrate the sad state of affairs in your own life. I wish you every success and happiness. You don’t do the same…that tells everyone something about who you are.

Cheers

 

[Robert28]

There's no point arguing with a narcissist. Even if you prove yourself correct, they won't agree. They have too many defense mechanisms blocking them from seeing reality.

You can win with a narcissist in one way and one way only. Ghost them. It’s the only thing I’ve found effective and it’s like kryptonite to them. Just remember once you ghost NEVER go back because they will destroy you. If you ghost them they will remember you for years and years even when you’ve long forgotten about them. It’s the ultimate Trump card but you better be ready to ghost then for the rest of your life because if you aren’t, you’re asking for a lot of trouble.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Maybe @BeExcellent a lot of this could be avoided, if you would change "Advice from an old lady" to "Thoughts from an old lady". A lot of men on here got bad "advice" from females their whole lives on how to interact with women. Leading them to seek out this site for answers. You have to know this being here as long as you have. Just because you can prove to yourself that your some unicorn doesn't mean any guy on here is going to believe you. Just like guys don't believe half the shjt other guys say on here. Why would they do more of the same and take advice from a female? When they came here for change. By keeping on with "Advice..." you have to be dense to not see how that's stoking the fire.

 

[BeExcellent]

Maybe @BeExcellent a lot of this could be avoided, if you would change "Advice from an old lady" to "Thoughts from an old lady". A lot of men on here got bad "advice" from females their whole lives on how to interact with women. Leading them to seek out this site for answers. You have to know this being here as long as you have. Just because you can prove to yourself that your some unicorn doesn't mean any guy on here is going to believe you. Just like guys don't believe half the shjt other guys say on here. Why would they do more of the same and take advice from a female? When they came here for change. By keeping on with "Advice..." you have to be dense to not see how that's stoking the fire.

Is it that bad here? Honestly? FWIW I started using that tag line in response years ago to men who assumed I was some washed up granny or cat lady. So the tag line is a way of dealing with that head on, in a light, amused mastery way. Everyone else offers advice…not “Thoughts”. I will do same.

Look. I’m not going to dance around anybody’s or everybody’s feelings. Isn’t this a forum for grown ass men?

I don’t date anyone here. I’m not obligated to defer or submit to anyone here. However anyone here has the Ignore button. Feel free to use it.

I tell my very own children the following statements:

1. The world does not give a crap about you. Understand that and then you will understand that you are not owed anything. Do not have entitled expectations.

2. Life is about results. The choices you make today materially affect your results. The world may not care about you personally but the world will pay attention to your results. Focus on getting good results.

I get picked at sometimes. It’s cool. Does not affect me or my reality one bit.

Outside of the occasional silliness my content stands on its own and many things I say are solid bits of advice that could just as easily have come from a man…and in fact some of it does actually, things my father taught me.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Why so much heartburn? Go date yourself a hot young lady & call it good. Sheesh.

I’ve got an enviable life in many ways. I know what I like, what I need and why. If you saw my actual life you’d see very quickly that what I share is true. My BF is happy for example and so am I. All you do when you throw out this “of course he’s going to leave you” rhetoric is demonstrate the sad state of affairs in your own life. I wish you every success and happiness. You don’t do the same…that tells everyone something about who you are.

There is no heartburn. And I don't have a problem with you personally. I do, however, have a problem with the extremely bad "advice from an old lady" that you occasionally dispense. Some men on this forum, especially younger guys, may lack the sophistication to see through your slickly written BS. And don't get me wrong, you've got the right to your opinion, just like everyone else does. But you don't have the right to represent yourself as someone you are not to make your points sound more credible. That is why it's important to expose you for the fraud that you are.

This is a forum for men. We like brutal honestly. We don't like people coming on here and claiming to be "unicorns", especially when they are anything but. So I'm going to be brutally honest. You are a divorcee in her 50's with a history of failed relationships who is currently in what is basically a FWB arrangement with a younger man. You are neither a unicorn nor an example of "excellence". There is nothing excellent about your life story. The results of the choices you've made earlier in life speak for themselves. And that's okay. Most people's lives are a mess. There is more dignity in admitting the obvious than claiming to have an "enviable" life.

You would not be on a forum for men, accumulating nearly 5,000 posts, if you were leading an enviable life, I am quite certain of that. You are here because you want to understand how men think and why your prior relationships failed. You call yourself "BeExcellent" as a reminder to yourself of the need for self-improvement. And there is nothing wrong with that. But please don't try to sell yourself as an example of an ideal woman. It's nauseating.

 

[joesbigship]

So forgive me for posting these interviews of prostitutes. I am only doing it to illustrate a point.

Most girls these days...

So, you're trying to generalize from the bottom 1/10th of 1 percent of emotionally damaged skank drug addict hoes to all women everywhere.

You clearly failed math in elementary school.

 

[BeExcellent]

There is no heartburn. And I don't have a problem with you personally. I do, however, have a problem with the extremely bad "advice from an old lady" that you occasionally dispense. Some men on this forum, especially younger guys, may lack the sophistication to see through your slickly written BS. And don't get me wrong, you've got the right to your opinion, just like everyone else does. But you don't have the right to represent yourself as someone you are not to make your points sound more credible. That is why it's important to expose you for the fraud that you are.

This is a forum for men. We like brutal honestly. We don't like people coming on here and claiming to be "unicorns", especially when they are anything but. So I'm going to be brutally honest. You are a divorcee in her 50's with a history of failed relationships who is currently in what is basically a FWB arrangement with a younger man. You are neither a unicorn nor an example of "excellence". There is nothing excellent about your life story. The results of the choices you've made earlier in life speak for themselves. And that's okay. Most people's lives are a mess. There is more dignity in admitting the obvious than claiming to have an "enviable" life.

You would not be on a forum for men, accumulating nearly 5,000 posts, if you were leading an enviable life, I am quite certain of that. You are here because you want to understand how men think and why your prior relationships failed. You call yourself "BeExcellent" as a reminder to yourself of the need for self-improvement. And there is nothing wrong with that. But please don't try to sell yourself as an example of an ideal woman. It's nauseating.

You are welcome and invited at any time to come visit me I am happy to let you see exactly how my life is and it is better actually than what I describe here. Notice that I rarely ask for advice. Once in a great while, for perspective but generally I do not seek advice.

There are members here that I have gotten to know and who are occasionally a sounding board for me…but I have a great support system and good friends in real life already so I don’t need much from here. I prefer to contribute instead. It is from a place of giving. And at times it’s a different perspective.

Sometimes it’s an echo chamber here. It’s at times people complaining and piling on rather than telling it straight, uplifting and encouraging with actionable advice. I’m straight up and I’m transparent. My life is as I say. I couldn’t BS for 4500 or however many posts. But if you read you’ll find consistent content. That’s because it’s real.

My son is in university and in a great place in his life. I have done everything I can to be unvarnished and yet loving in my approach to raising him. My job as a parent is to prepare him. Not to coddle him. Now that he’s grown my job is to encourage him and respect his decisions. He is a solid young man who garners respect from both his peers and his elders. He is assertive and forthright and is not a punk at all. He is very good looking and could slay women right and left. He chooses an established LTR of 2 years with a good girl who respects him (who he treats well but doesn’t pedestalize). He has friends who are chasing skirts. He chooses not to do that of his own will…but he knows to manage and lead his relationship. He has frame.

My life speaks for itself. My content speaks for itself. My purpose here is to do what I can to encourage men of strong character and to help develop such men…Men like my own father and men like my own son. The world needs more of those type men.

 

[joesbigship]

Yeah it's kind of ridiculous for an old woman to try to give dating advice. She's going to be so out of touch with what's going on, especially with younger generations, she's basically farting in the wind.

 

[Bokanovsky]

You are welcome and invited at any time to come visit me I am happy to let you see exactly how my life is and it is better actually than what I describe here.

Sure, let me take you up on that offer. Of course, I also intend to speak to your current boyfriend, exes, close friends, parents and kids to get corroboration for the various claims you've made about yourself and your life (so that I could write a fair, objective and unbiased report based on my findings). If you could PM me their contact information, that would be great

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There's no point arguing with a narcissist. Even if you prove yourself correct, they won't agree. They have too many defense mechanisms blocking them from seeing reality.

Their brain has a lot of split second lies it will tell itself to validate it's reality.

 

[joesbigship]

It's crazy that someone can maintain their narcissism completely unchecked well into their granny years.

They'll never be in touch with reality ever again by that point. Just let them live out their delusions stringing along and conning whatever online suckers they can find.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Here’s what you fail to grasp. My ex husband didn’t present as a “dud”. That came out AFTER the marriage. No way I could have vetted that out.

What she's actually saying here is that her brain isn't/wasn't experienced enough to perceive the situation accurately. It's not that no one could have, it's that she couldn't.

 

[Bokanovsky]

What she's actually saying here is that her brain isn't/wasn't experienced enough to perceive the situation accurately. It's not that no one could have, it's that she couldn't.

Exactly. She made a bad choice. But she would never admit it because by doing so, she would be admitting a flaw in her own character. And unlike us regular folks, she has no flaws. When something bad happens to her, it's always somebody else's fault. Typical woman logic.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's crazy that someone can maintain their narcissism completely unchecked well into their granny years.

They'll never be in touch with reality ever again by that point. Just let them live out their delusions stringing along and conning whatever online suckers they can find.

Around others who aren't in her reality she just sounds entirely crazy... That's how bad an ego can fvck your life.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

Around others who aren't in her reality she just sounds entirely crazy... That's how bad an ego can fvck your life.

"Her reality"... Haha... That's the most female thing I've ever heard. Like you can create your own reality.