They will punish you for treating them well. They cant help it

[TheProspect]

C'mon guys... Leave the old lady alone.

Keep the thread on-topic, or further off-topic posts will be deleted and thread will be ultimately locked.


Regarding OP, it has also been my experience that girls who hold onto a lot of shame, and of whom subsequently struggle to love themselves, also struggle to accept love from others.

These girls will eventually resent a man's attempts to give them that love & respect, and you will lose value in her eyes... "Why would he love someone like ME? There has to be something wrong with him! Does he have no other options?". Which is also why these girls like and are drawn to guys who treat them like sh!t and degrade them, because they assign low value to themselves and are subsequently held to that standard by men are willing to treat them as such. Like attracts like.

If you want a healthy LTR, avoid these women.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

I've read enough of her posts to know that she's a raging narcissist. Don't mention me again.

@Guy69JackBlue
You're derailing the thread, I'll mention you all I want. Ironically I have nothing else to say to you.

Exactly. She made a bad choice. But she would never admit it because by doing so, she would be admitting a flaw in her own character. And unlike us regular folks, she has no flaws. When something bad happens to her, it's always somebody else's fault. Typical woman logic.

It's almost like you guys want to see her beg on her knees for your validation and forgiveness, so strange. There's no hostility in her responses, no attacking of your character, no psycho diagnosis of your mental faculties. Coming into this thread and seeing the most well articulated and least salty posts from @BeExcellent is entertaining but a bit embarrassing as a man. What's more surprising is that she keeps dignifying you turds with responses haha.

I have to believe that @Bokanovsky is trolling and anyone claiming they can diagnose narcissism is delusional. Medical professionals are always harping to never try to diagnose yourself or others, because you have no idea what you're talking about.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

From what I've seen, this is exactly why Bokanosky is grilling beexcellent here. Is this is true, then why is it that beexcellent excels (lol) at attracting these men of bad character (charming is a characteristic of psychopaths) into her life despite her claims that she is these high self esteem things?

If you start dating a girl and things that are out of your control go south, it's your responsibility to try to make it work or leave. In many situations leaving is the healthy thing to do (after trying a lot of things of course). These are usually big decisions that take maturity and courage. If you maintain this self respect and dignity throughout life, you may have multiple relationships end, but your health will be much better than someone who stayed in something toxic and was too scared to leave.

C'mon guys... Leave the old lady alone.

Keep the thread on-topic or this one is getting locked.


Regarding OP, it has also been my experience that girls who hold onto a lot of shame, and of whom subsequently struggle to love themselves, also struggle to accept love from others.

These girls will eventually resent a man's attempts to give them that love & respect, and you will lose value in her eyes... "Why would he love someone like ME? There has to be something wrong with him! Does he have no other options?". Which is also why these girls like and are drawn to guys who treat them like sh!t and degrade them, because they assign low value to themselves and are subsequently held to that standard by men are willing to treat them as such. Like attracts like.

If you want a healthy LTR, avoid these women.

Right, and in many cases the girls don't end the relationship but instead sabotage it. Best case scenario they get what they want, a guy that hates them, and acts out to hurt them.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I will only add to the conversation that I've dated women with kids and when I attempted to focus on her kids over her, it always ended badly, always, because I had an idea that it would be better than focusing on her, I've since come to understand women are far more self centered than I ever could of imagined, you'd think this woman wouldn't have the gall to chase after other men while im practically babysitting her kids, but it happened a lot and at no point during this did she ever have any self reflection or analyze her own character, the lens was focused purely on me and my faults.

This was a long time ago but its always stuck with me, they expect me to put the kids 2nd over her, that is actually quite difficult for me even today.

The truth is that this society has become far too comfortable highlighting the flaws of others while masking our own, it's actually terrifying because if somebody tells her she did nothing wrong, she'll 100% believe it and buy into it without a second thought, you HAVE to create your own narrative as a man in a relationship and you can do it well for 10 years but one slip up and suddenly that narrative can change and when it does, you'll be called a liar on top of whatever other labels the slip up nets you.

You have to speak your mind, be authentic and get in front of your flaws.

Women want to negotiate using words and situations, but as men all we can negotiate with is our presence alone, if you have nothing to say you might as well just go because one of her friends, maybe even one of your friends or another guy, they'll use suggestion to fill in the blanks for you, the only way to negate those people filling in the blanks for you is to leave or get in front of the blanks.

Silence is also a useful tool but you can't rely on it all the time.

Now, I understand I don't bargain or compromise, I simply replace.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Actually, I would prefer the exact opposite. I'd rather have her stop seeking validation with her lengthy autobiographical posts. The "hostility" is not aimed at BE personally but rather the delusional and nonsensical stuff she posts about herself. She chooses to write about herself at length, so she shouldn't be surprised that her autobiography generates a lively debate. Most people here have caught on to what she is up to. A select few, however, apparently have not.

You need to focus on the content of her posts and respond to that, rather than derail the thread. You need to explain what exactly is delusional, nonsensical, and why, relative to the topic at hand.

Your first post in this thread was poised as an innocent question directed at BE. Her response seemed sensible enough, to which you responded with an accusation. What you consider high value may differ from what she or I or anyone else thinks, just as what we would all define as broken. I think BE's responses to you speak for themselves when she explained what those things mean to her. I do sense some jealousy or otherwise saltiness from you towards her, and maybe towards women in general. I find her writings insightful. I consider myself pretty sharp, so if you want, feel free to PM me about what sort of undercover operation you think is going on, and we can discuss further.

The people you infer that you want advice from, men or women in perfect relationships or otherwise with more experience and wisdom than BE, those people simply aren't here, and rarely are. This place is a boring hell to them. What value would they draw? So please, for the benefit of other members that do value BE's advice, don't drive off the next best thing from those perfect relationship people, which is someone that's educated, articulate, and has the experience of starting and ending relationships.

In fact, we could argue that BE is more valuable to this community than someone that has been married for 40 years or whatever. Her experiences are more relatable to the guys here than someone that's never had to leave someone or had struggles in a relationship. And we all know that the length of a commitment often has nothing to do with how satisfied both parties are in the relationship. We can make a constructive thread to define what you think is an ideal relationship, then we can outline who you should be taking advice from and make everyone happy.

Hearing an opinion that you disagree with shouldn't upset you in this context. Dissent and a variety of perspectives are key to avoiding an echo chamber. You need to hold your own with logic and reasoning, slights and prejudice work against you here.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

You need to focus on the content of her posts and respond to that, rather than derail the thread. You need to explain what exactly is delusional, nonsensical, and why, relative to the topic at hand.

Your first post in this thread was poised as an innocent question directed at BE. Her response seemed sensible enough, to which you responded with an accusation. What you consider high value may differ from what she or I or anyone else thinks, just as what we would all define as broken. I think BE's responses to you speak for themselves when she explained what those things mean to her. I do sense some jealousy or otherwise saltiness from you towards her, and maybe towards women in general. I find her writings insightful. I consider myself pretty sharp, so if you want, feel free to PM me about what sort of undercover operation you think is going on, and we can discuss further.

The people you infer that you want advice from, men or women in perfect relationships or otherwise with more experience and wisdom than BE, those people simply aren't here, and rarely are. This place is a boring hell to them. What value would they draw? So please, for the benefit of other members that do value BE's advice, don't drive off the next best thing from those perfect relationship people, which is someone that's educated, articulate, and has the experience of starting and ending relationships.

In fact, we could argue that BE is more valuable to this community than someone that has been married for 40 years or whatever. Her experiences are more relatable to the guys here than someone that's never had to leave someone or had struggles in a relationship. And we all know that the length of a commitment often has nothing to do with how satisfied both parties are in the relationship. We can make a constructive thread to define what you think is an ideal relationship, then we can outline who you should be taking advice from and make everyone happy.

Hearing an opinion that you disagree with shouldn't upset you in this context. Dissent and a variety of perspectives are key to avoiding an echo chamber. You need to hold your own with logic and reasoning, slights and prejudice work against you here.

Is this guy serious? Lol.

 

[joesbigship]

@Guy69JackBlue

I have to believe that @Bokanovsky is trolling and anyone claiming they can diagnose narcissism is delusional. Medical professionals are always harping to never try to diagnose yourself or others, because you have no idea what you're talking about.

"Medical professionals" are idiots. All those dumbfvcks have done for a year and a half is make tiktok videos.

They won't even take their own fake vaccines!

All psychiatrists do is prescribe drugs anyway. They're full of sh1t.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

"Medical professionals" are idiots. All those dumbfvcks have done for a year and a half is make tiktok videos.

They won't even take their own fake vaccines!

All psychiatrists do is prescribe drugs anyway. They're full of sh1t.

Personality disorders aren't true diseases like an actual medical disease is.

But that doesn't mean I can't tell that someone acts narcissistic in nearly every one of their posts. She literally says it in plain English many times.

 

[Pandora]

So, you're trying to generalize from the bottom 1/10th of 1 percent of emotionally damaged skank drug addict hoes to all women everywhere.

You clearly failed math in elementary school.

Most young attractive women have emotional damage from years of being sexually active with many men. Many women have also suffered sexual molestation as a child. They share the same traits of this women just to a lesser degree. Either you are a troll, a woman, or are inexperienced with young hot women of this generation.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Is this guy serious? Lol.

I'm afraid that he is. Meet Mr. Knight in Shining Armor, the honorary president of the orbiters' club.

 

[Pandora]

A lot of your points are rendered void by the fact that you used a prostitute as an example.

The average hot girl is a prostitute. Do you know how many women are on OnlyFans and Seeking arrangements? The sexual partner count of the regular women today rivals the prostitutes of the past. This is a fact. No offense intended but I dont think you have lived among college aged women lately. You would be shocked.

Again I'm not saying that she is an exact model of a regular girl. I am saying that the same self loathing we see in her is present in the average hot chick. This is why you cant love them more than they love themselves.

 

[joesbigship]

Most young attractive women have emotional damage from years of being sexually active with many men. Many women have also suffered sexual molestation as a child. They share the same traits of this women just to a lesser degree. Either you are a troll, a woman, or are inexperienced with young hot women of this generation.

Where do you live? Are you in some rotted out 3rd world sh1thole? Take a look at that bottom .001% percentile meth-head freak who's been turning tricks since she was 13 again. If you think you can generalize from that garbage pail of a female to the hottest women you are too foolish for words. No offense to you personally but your lack of logic is pathetic.

 

[Pandora]

Understand this:

The subjects interviewed in this piece actually BIAS the piece.

There is no balance by also interviewing high self esteem women who have been faithfully and happily married for decades.

As a result we see the BIAS of the creator of the video, who obviously holds the view that women want/need to be treated badly, and the OP buys this hook, line & sinker.

Had only healthy, high self esteem, loyal committed and emotionally mature women been interviewed you’d get bias in the opposite direction. I could hand select a dozen high quality women who I know personally to espouse the opposite view.

The truth is in the middle. There ARE well adjusted emotionally healthy women out there who recoil at degradation. That are not damaged emotional train wrecks. But that is boring and not controversial nor provocative like the video the OP posited.

Healthy emotionally solid women are mostly (99.9%) taken as it is and the damaged ones who are largely available. This reflects the bias of the OP and SS at large.

My dear, you come from a better generation than the modern females. Let me prove my point.

1.) Most girls have self esteem issues. This is a fact. Very few attractive women have healthy self esteems when they are young.

2.) Most hot chicks have partner counts of 30 plus men easy. Do you understand what this does to a females self esteem? It tanks it even lower. Many of the girls have been alpha widowed, spit on, gagged, spanked etc.

3.) So here you come trying to be Mr.Nice guy to a person who doesnt feel worthy of it you will fail.

Please address these points.

 

[joesbigship]

My dear, you come from a better generation than the modern females. Let me prove my point.

1.) Most girls have self esteem issues. This is a fact. Very few attractive women have healthy self esteems when they are young.

2.) Most hot chicks have partner counts of 30 plus men easy. Do you understand what this does to a females self esteem? It tanks it even lower. Many of the girls have been alpha widowed, spit on, gagged, spanked etc.

3.) So here you come trying to be Mr.Nice guy to a person who doesnt feel worthy of it you will fail.

Please address these points.

lol, bro. What country are you in? In the US, there are almost 400 million people. 200 million female. Maybe 50 million aged 20 to 40. Maybe 10 million who are "hot."

Let's say there are only 1 million hot women in the US. What percentage of these hot women do you know? How many have you met personally? 1? 2? 3? 4? Calculate that percentage, if you can. I'll do it for you if you ask for help.

Now, about that skank trick. You don't even know her. You just watched a youtube vid (presumably).

You're generalizing from a ho on a youtube vid you may or may not have watched to 1 miillion (more like 10 million) hot women, none of whom you've ever met, much less dated, kissed, laid, etc., yet you claim some sort of expert knowledge about all of them.

Based upon youtube video. Derp.

You are living in a world of delusion.

 

[Pandora]

Where do you live? Are you in some rotted out 3rd world sh1thole? Take a look at that bottom .001% percentile meth-head freak who's been turning tricks since she was 13 again. If you think you can generalize from that garbage pail of a female to the hottest women you are too foolish for words. No offense to you personally but your lack of logic is pathetic.

Look at the statistics of the females that have participated in OnlyFans. Look at the stats of the women that ask for money on Tinder, Seeking Arrangements, sugar daddy websites etc.
My ex gf and her hot friend told me about an app that some girls used ( aka they used once). They said its an app that the men pay you $100 to have a dinner date with them.

These girls were 25 at the time. They were upper middle class too. The issue is that many of the guys on this forum have not hung out with young girls of this generation. I have ( not anymore tho lol...im too old now). You are speaking from ignorance broski. Its crazy out here. You dont know what you speak of. The line between hooker and average chick is blurry these days.

 

[Pandora]

I've said this many times. If you treat women like trash, what sticks around will be trash. And then you complain about trash.

Im not saying treat her like trash. I am saying dont treat her better than she treats herself. She will punish you for it.

The average hot party girl does not treat herself well ( much like this hooker). So you gotta meet them at their level. How is this difficult to understand lol

 

[joesbigship]

Look at the statistics of the females that have participated in OnlyFans. Look at the stats of the women that ask for money on Tinder, Seeking Arrangements, sugar daddy websites etc.
My ex gf and her hot friend told me about an app that some girls used ( aka they used once). They said its an app that the men pay you $100 to have a dinner date with them.

These girls were 25 at the time. They were upper middle class too. The issue is that many of the guys on this forum have not hung out with young girls of this generation. I have ( not anymore tho lol...im too old now). You are speaking from ignorance broski. Its crazy out here. You dont know what you speak of. The line between hooker and average chick is blurry these days.

You know two girls?!? You base your entire analysis of 10 million hot girls in the USA based upon two girls, only 1 of whom is hot? How far up your ass is your head if you can't figure out how dumb your claim is?

Im not saying treat her like trash. I am saying dont treat her better than she treats herself. She will punish you for it.

The average hot party girl does not treat herself well ( much like this hooker). So you gotta meet them at their level. How is this difficult to understand lol

The 'average hot girl?' You only mention 1 hot girl, and it's not even clear if you've met her! How can you claim knowledge of the average of a population of millions when you can't confirm that you've even met 1 hot girl?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

"Her reality"... Haha... That's the most female thing I've ever heard. Like you can create your own reality.

Her reality in her mind. And you can alter your reality. You can move cross country or out of the country and talk to different folks. You can change your career or the direction of your life. So your reality and the parameters of your life change. Some of you are incredibly solid and powerful PESSIMISTS. And you create and maintain a reality that allows your excuses and limitations to be true.

 

[metalwater]

There's no point arguing with a narcissist. Even if you prove yourself correct, they won't agree. They have too many defense mechanisms blocking them from seeing reality.

doesn't do much good to argue with anyone. doing this puts them as the judge of us. we seek them to see our wisdom and JUDGE us correct. They have all the power in that case.

never let another be your judge, or if you do, know that you do so.

allowing a woman that we are in conflict with to be a judge of us is silly and will always result in us being guilty.

 

[Guy69JackBlue]

The average hot girl is a prostitute.

Thank you!