The way of the attention wh0re

[seasonedplayer]

nice post blue phoenix.

I have always been a good operator but didn't know what an attention ***** was until I met mine and was burnt badly.

One thing though is that she had a relationship from 16 to 20 and then 20 to 22. I am not sure about the first relationship but during the second relationship she was attention whoring. What I want to know is whether these AWs can in fact have long term relationships. Also it seems like some of them go for guys with status. she once told me that she wouldn't date me properly becuase "I need a guy that allows me to reach my full potential." what does that mean?

 

[Blue Phoenix]

What I want to know is whether these AWs can in fact have long term relationships.

Yes and no. Some of them keep a ltr with a guy with some status, but behind his back she acts like she is single and keep dating other guys.

Also it seems like some of them go for guys with status. she once told me that she wouldn't date me properly becuase "I need a guy that allows me to reach my full potential." what does that mean?

Actually Aws have no identity thats why they want someone with status in order to give it to her. They'll be the girl of the "musician", the girl of the "rich guy", the girl of the "doctor x", the girl of "the guy with an awesome motorcicle", etc. They're seeking approval and by their "sexy" appearance and by "dating" famous, or any kind of guy with status, Aws try to impress the others (as if the others really cared about it, lol).

The Aw I knew dated a guy from a band. Thus, she's the girl of the musician.

Not just status, but someone to take care of them. But they are so high maintance that most guys give up on her. Instead of trying to solve things by themselves they ALWAYS use someone (manipulate and/or indulce) to do it for them, that's why they'll never mature. They're extremely dependent too.

Another point is the esteem-devaluation. Aws actually steal your self-steem because to them, they're the most important person and you're not important.

Type of Aw revisited, here: http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/histrion.htm

 

[Mike_The_Man]

All the info about Histrionic Pesonality Disorder has really opened up my eyes because I now realise the woman I am/was dealing with fits this to a TEE!! Thank GOD I found this thread!

 

[DJDamage]

All the info about Histrionic Pesonality Disorder has really opened up my eyes because I now realise the woman I am/was dealing with fits this to a TEE!! Thank GOD I found this thread!

Its a good thing you found this information on time. Myself, Blue Pheonix and others have found this information a little bit too late. After the "damage" already been done and we are left in awe thinking: who was more insane?! her for treating me this way or me for taking all that abuse!?

Its very disturbing pattern to see that the trend of AW's, Histrionic Perosnality Disorder and Bi- Polarism is on the rise for women. Its either more women are checking themselves for evalulation or our society as a whole is to blame, and I suspect its a little bit of both.

Someone suggested that its better to date those women for a short period of time and then get rid of them because they do make great sexual partners. However to throw a little bit of caution to the wind, the unpredictability behaviour of her after you broke her heart could be mild to the extreme (Think Lorena Bobbit and Amy Fisher).

Women who posses those qualities and do not seek treatment will get worse in the future. Their logic of finding happiness through relationship will not change her views in the longruns. I am sure Andrea Yates Husband knew she had previous "problems" before marring her and had faith that things will work out. Well things did not work out because she suffered "Post Mortem Depression" and ended up killing all five of her children.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

This is what I was dealing with!! OK, so this girl I used to work with is 25 years old, 2 kids by 2 different dads, and is getting a divorce after only 2 years of marriage

Home life is not good, no father all of her life, living with mother during divorce. Kids are 4 and 2

Constantly the center of attention at work (extremely attractive but looks in the mirror at herself with disdain)

Always seeks out the attention of guys at work, always picking at their clothes, hitting them, stroking their hair, very flirty ect.

Always talking about sex and booty calls and about being horny and needing it in front of male co-workers to get them fired up I guess

Always talking about her divorce and what a bad person her ex is so others feel sorry for her

Always upbeat and happy; everybody loves her and adores her

To my eyes, acts and talks like a 14 year old girl; I could not figure this one out until I saw this site

Has about 10 different guys constantly calling her at work looking for her; she says they are all "friends" that like her and want to "be" with her. She came on to me and I fell for it thinking she was really interested in a relationship with me but while she was telling me that I was the sweetest guy in the world and that this would eventually happen for us and that there was "something there" she was telling other people that she had no interest in me at all and that I was a joke. I did not know what she was doing. She also told others that I was punching the table and vending machines in the break room because she would not go out with me which of course is not true. (This was before I even heard of HPD)

Compulsive liar ( she is dating one of the top DJ's in town with a million dollar home and a Lexus, among others that she has been caught in) Can't tell what is lie and what is truth with her, but because she is so well liked, everybody takes her at face value!

Very two-faced and manipulative ( I have seen her be nice to one of our co-workers and then a short time later tell others what a horrible person this guy was, to stay away from him ect.)

As regards other people around her, she either loves them or hates them, there is no middle ground with her

Endears others to herself VERY quickly, especially guys

Will turn on you on a dime, this is what happened to me when I was trying to figure out if she was really interested in me. While everybody else was telling me she was not, all I was getting from her were positive signs, the heavy eye contact, the cutesy smiles ect. but only when we were 100% alone. When I said look I need to know where I stand with you, she turned on me and will now not speak to me AT ALL. She was fine as long as I was groveling for her attention but as soon as I stopped and called her on it she turned against me.

 

[icebear]

are you attractive to the girl like her? if you really recongnized her, why leave her as soon as possible?

 

[mrax]

Okay, here's something I learned about myself: I AM attracted to girls like this. I know, it's a messed up thing, but I'm finding out I'm a messed up person.

The thing is, they're usually easy. And if they're easy for you, they're easy for anyone. Freaks. I love 'em. And that's my problem. I usually DO fall in love with them. That says a lot more about me than them. I guess it's an excuse to stop improving myself to the point to where I feel I deserve better. The thinking is 'This is the best I can pull right now.'.

Yeah, it's a messed up situation, but I seem to attract this kind of girl.

The comedian Richard Jenni had a good line:"The difference between Charles Manson, David Berkowitz and every girl I fall for is, at least Manson and Berkowitz have tha common decency to LOOK like the psychos they are when you first see them.".

 

[cave dweller]

AW........

Hey,

I met, fell in love with and dated an AW for 4 years.
We broke it off in October.
Some lessons come hard in life and for me this was one of those.
Without a doubt it was the wildest sex I had ever had. (four years of solid fvcking)

But,

We had no future, so, I had to move on.

"The school of hard knocks has no drop-outs."

cave dweller

 

[Climax]

What u think of this situation...

ok... this is interesting Ans since i know someone in a situation with a possible attention wh0re, i'll tell you his little situation, and then u guys can tell me what u think of it ...

Here goes:

Him and his firl that he is going out with now met last year February, then became really close friends, and at the end of last year they became a couple.


His Problem:

He thinks that she is an attention wh0re, and he doesnt like it


His reason for thinking that she is an attention wh0re:

1) He goes to the same school as she does, but at breaks she doesnt spend alot of time spking to him, and rather speaks to her friends (makes it out as if she is always busy)

2) Is always touching and flirting with all her guy friends, and then when he asks her "Why are you flirting with all the other guys? " she answers saying something along the lines of "I'm NOT flirting ok! I'm just being myself, and i have a funny, bubbly personality.. So what.. are you telling me that i musnt be friendly with them now? are u going to be so controlling now?, Why do you always find fault with me? , i DONT like them as anything but as FRIENDS!" and all that b.s.

3) The majority of her friends are guys (80 percent of them at least)

4) In public she always makes herself the centre of attention, weather its by shouting and being drunk, or sitting in a place where everyone can see her, and she ALWAYS starts talking to guys she doesnt know, get their nuber, etc etc....

5) She is always wanting to go on ONE on ONE "friendly dates" with her guy friends, which she KNOWS like her too...


BUT

On the phone, online chat, sms's, emails, etc she Always goes on about hom much she loves him and how much she cares and that she hopes that the 2 of them last forever etc.... and when he suggests that they break up after a fight or wateva she bursts into tears, af if she really does care about him, and only him.

But on the other hand

In person when there are other guys around she will act as if he isnt even there, and she will flirt and touch other guys etc.


The million dollar question:

What is going on in this girls head? What does she want/feel?


My answer to this situation:

I said that I think that she DOES like him, BUT she has been an attention wh0re her whole life, and probably just cant get "out of that habbit" so quickly, and that it would take a while untill she becomes "normal".

When i asked him (my friend) why he doesnt just leave her and look for a girl that isnt an attention wh0re, he simply said that he really fell for her, and he fell hard for her, and he cant imagine leaving her, and all this other b.s about how she took his heart, and he doenst WANT anyone else etc... blah di blah!

So what i did was i went up to her and had a little chat with her...

The conversation between me and her:

Me: So whats going on with you and (my friends name)?

Her: what do you mean? nothing? everything is fine as far as i know, why? is something wrong?

Me: Well, i've been seeing you around and i kinda noticed that you have been flirting with other guys and really not paying (my friends name) much attention... any reason for that?

Her: excuse me? i DONT flirt with other guys, thats just my personality, i'm lively and bubbly and i make them laugh etc, but i DONT flirt with them! And as far as not paying (my friends name) enough attention, well, at breaks i like spending with my friends because i dont see them much and its wierd at school in front of everyone, why cant i just see him after school? Its embarrasing in school!

Me: Well i think that you are just being immature about it, because you have no reason to be "embarrased" about being with (my friends name)! wtf? whats there to be embarrased about?

Her: i dont know, its just embarrasing ok!

Me: errr.... ok wateva.... all i can say is that the way that you treat (my friends name) is wrong, and you're lucky that he likes you so much, because if i were him, i would tell you to go f*ck yourself!


At this point i just turned around and walked away.

I spoke to my friend again earliyer today, and he told me about a punk gig that was on over the week end...

The punk gig/concert story:

On Friday afternoon she calles him and tells him that her and her 2 other friends are going to the punk gig/concert that night, and being a person that wasnt really fond of punk, he (my friend)(her bf) told her that he didnt really wanna go there and he was hoping that the 2 of them could go somewhere else, but he said "ok" and he told her that he would come for HER...

Then she starts going on about how he musnt come because she knows that he doesnt like punk and that he "wouldnt fit in because he is more like a backstreet boy, and punk is like the total opposite".... after coming to an agreement that they prob wouldnt see eachother on Friday night he told her that he would come for 10 minutes before going to his other plans... so her responce to him telling her that he was going to come for 10 minutes was " whats the point of coming if its only for 10 minutes?" I'll rather see you on Sat night or Monday or wateva" ....

I STILL dont understand where this girl is coming from, or wtf is going through her head, but the only reason that i could think of her not wanting her bf to come, is that she had another guy on her eye's.

BUT

After that night, he (my freind)(her bf) spoke to some people that were there and saw her etc and she wasnt with any other guys there, she was with her 2 girl friends for the majority of the night, except for ONE of her guy CLOSE friends that was drunk and she was "helping" him etc.


Ok... i wont make this post too long... but overall, what do you think is going on in this girls head? What does she want/feel etc?


Laterz...

 

[dearsappho]

AW's from my experience have difficulty in showing that they are commited, in some sense, to anything.

They possess such a powerful emotional charge that they live in abject fear of expressing it and instead opt for the flirt because it allows them to retain control of what they perceive as a destructive force within them (phew!)

Ive seen what I can do to an AW if they pass control to me of this force and it is nothing short of incredible to behold.

Emotional detachment is the key to dealing with these women.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

You guys that posted the last few responses after my last one need to look up Histrionic Personality Disorder:

http://www.toad.net/~arcturus/dd/histrion.htm

This single document opened my eyes more than all the 6 months of interaction I had with this girl while I knew her!

Before this, I had never even heard of HPD Thank GOD for this!

I was in for a world of hurt if I progressed with this woman!

See my previous post for my description of her acting skills.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Originally posted by icebear
are you attractive to the girl like her? if you really recongnized her, why leave her as soon as possible?

I was attracted to her, but this was before I found out about the existance of Histrionic Personality Disorder and it was only after putting 2 and 2 together that I realised that she was playing me like a fiddle solely for my attention and admiration; she more than likely had no intentions of following through on a "relationship" with me in any real sense of the term. She got off on the attention I, and other, guys were paying her at work.

The lying came through loud and clear only after I was able to personally catch her in a couple of whoppers near the very end of my employment there and also one big one after I was gone! She bascally told a friend of mine that a manager there told her that manager thought that I was going to come in with a gun, shoot manager and throw her body in the trash compactor!! Wild stories like this abound with her! I am glad I'm gone! Can you imagine the damage she could have done had I still been there?

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Originally posted by dearsappho
AW's from my experience have difficulty in showing that they are commited, in some sense, to anything.

They possess such a powerful emotional charge that they live in abject fear of expressing it and instead opt for the flirt because it allows them to retain control of what they perceive as a destructive force within them (phew!)

Ive seen what I can do to an AW if they pass control to me of this force and it is nothing short of incredible to behold.

Emotional detachment is the key to dealing with these women.

So you are saying that if you just completely ignore her and cut off all contact that she will eventually seek you out IF she was originally attracted to you in the first place?

 

[dearsappho]

Yes...be ready to drop her when she chooses to disrespect you (it will happen!). Dont get ahead of yourself with these girls. Play them at their own game by blowing hot and cold and never confess your feelings no matter what they tell you...

You cant have a truly meaningful relationship with a girl like this so either let go or have some fun playing mind games. Just stay emotionally detached.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

My gut tells me this girl I wrote about will seek me out at some point, I do not know why my instincts tell me this, they just do.....

 

[dearsappho]

Stay in that mindset and see other girls. If sse comes back then fine and if she dont then fine...

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Believe me, that is my mindset! After doing the research into HPD/BPD, I now know that this girl is an absolute nutcase! The only thing I am sorry for is the fact that her 2 kids are going to grow up as messed up as she is

 

[Mike_The_Man]

This thread really needs to be stickyed, I think...........

Great info here!

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Nevermind, it already is

 

[skeeloo]

Originally posted by A.J. Stanson
One comment: There seems to be the sentiment that being an attention ***** is the woman's fault. Not so. It's your fault for giving her all the attention. Remember guys, don't get mad at women for mistreating you, get mad at yourself for allowing it to happen.

exactly .