More things to do
Here's an idea: transfer all of the self-loathing into hating your bad habits so bad YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Stop doing all the bad things you are doing, and start doing the good things you aren't. As for how bad of shape you are in, I'm reminded of some wisdom that my pastor imparted on me: it doesn't matter where you are, only the direction you are headed.
You're exercising; good, keep it up. Endorphins elevate mood, losing fat reduces estrogen production, and testosterone is produced during strength training. If you're pissed off, beat on the heavy bag until you wear yourself out. Hell, hit the bag so hard you throw something out or your hands bleed. Then, you'll have something to be pissed off about aside from how girls aren't flocking to you.
After your hip heals from being thrown out and your hands scab over, try joining a martial art or sport. An older DJ friend of mine recommended joining something like football or rugby to combine both competition and strenuous activity; I suggest martial arts because they build self-confidence (in dangerous situations) and discipline. Competition exists; it comes in many forms, including the other team, the guy who's also trying to get the promotion you want, and the guy working on (or is the boyfriend of) the girl you want. It's time to admit the awful truth: you like winning. So what if someone else lost? YOU WON. Period. And it feels damn good, doesn't it? Suddenly, the losses don't seem so bad, because they were just practice for when you won.
You may have noticed I haven't recommended anything involving women. Coincidence? No. This is improving you as an individual, and is just the beginning, but it is separate from improving social skills. Since this area is not my forte, I will let you reread some of the other posts which cover approaches, conversation and closes.
Yes, you are right, lonelyeditor; everything we talk about here has already been covered by others. All we are doing now is tailoring the same information for you about your situation from different points of view. It's the same turkey no matter how you cook it, but some people prefer roasted, some prefer deep-fried, and some prefer it baked, then soaked in fortified wine and served flaming, like plum pudding.
Just recognize that opposites attract is bull****; birds of a feather flock together. A depressed hater who doesn't take responsibility for himself will attract another depressed hater who doesn't take responsibility for herself. If you want to meet women but don't want to change yourself and your attitude, I'd suggest starting in goth chat rooms and vampire cults. If you want a perfect woman, you are going to have to become what she would want in a perfect man. Knowing what to do won't help. Doing it, again and again until it becomes a part of you and you do it without thought, will allow you to become a 'perfect man'. Go all the way or go home.
Alternately, don't be a *****. And if you just want to be a *****, don't expect everyone to suddenly start seeing things your way, because I (and I'm sure I'm not alone on this) am sick and tired of being the ***** of some HB only to go home at the end of the night alone while she's being ass-****ed by Johnnie Jackass. Or, even better, falling in love with said HB from across the bar, never doing anything about it because I'm too much of a pvssy, then seeing her blow Johnnie Jackass in an alley as I'm leaving alone for the night because she couldn't wait to get to his apartment.
