The TRUTH About "Spinning Plates" (The Good and the BAD)

[Zarky]

Repeat after me: There are no "quality" women

 

[asa_don]

I think this is your answer. The point is to have options and not have women as your purpose. For women it's about finding a women you truly like and have chemistry with. It doesn't matter what society considers to be a quality women. What do you consider to be a quality women?

correct, a job title doesn't make a woman a "quality woman".

i've known guys who told me they got a "quality woman", months later when their "quality woman" showed their true colors she became known as a "b1tch" or a "wh0re". so much for their "quality woman" who had a "quality job" title.

 

[3agle 3yes]

Repeat after me: There are no "quality" women

Perhaps you don't have the intelligence to wrap your head around the idea.

But even you can admit, some women are better than others.

That's what everyone means when they say "quality".

...I've never understood how a guy can actually fathom, let alone appreciate, settling down and being with one women for rest of his entire life.

Can you not see how the church and the state and society in general all benefit from dictating your morals and values????

Children and families...that's what it comes down to.

 

[goldengoose]

2. Spinning plates put you in the mode of always, looking for the "bigger, better" deal. After a few years of spinning plates, I started meeting QUALITY women - lawyers, scientists, teachers, or just girls who had a nice giving personality - and I'd find that I still wasn't satisfied. Not because they were necessarily doing anything WRONG, but because once I knew I had them, I had trained myself to start looking for the next girl.

And it sucked because these girls would be REALLY into me - I mean, willing to do just about anything I asked them to - and I would still be in "hunt" mode. I would continue going to parties and flirt with other women, and could justify doing so because, in my head, the girl who thought we were developing into something was, to me, "just another plate I was spinning."

I don't know about any of you guys but I want the best. Why should I have to settle for anything less? There is nothing wrong with having a better deal when you can have it. When girls aren't living up to my expectations I will get better ones who will fulfill what I expect. There's nothing bad about that at all. Men should replace women that they don't like or ones that aren't respecting them. If you think that is a bad thing, then there is something wrong wth you.

Teachers are not all quality women. Did you hear about the subsitute teacher who was banging students?

Who cares if the women were really into you. If you're not into them why would you want to be with them? Worrying about sh1t like that is beta stuff. Never be ashamed to get what you really want or to tell a chick like it is. They will have no problem doing that to you. Guys who are laying the pipe to a bunch of chicks aren't worried or thinking about sh1t like that.

Women certainly wouldn't give a sh1t about that. When they lose their feelings they won't care. They are already in "hunt mode" looking for the better deal over you. Why are you afraid of looking for a better deal?

You should use common sense when dating, always get the best deal, never be afraid to get what you want, understand that women won't think twice about doing the same to you. But most of all, do what satisfies you with no regrets. There is nothing bad about that all. That's called enjoying and getting the most out of your life. Live it.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

@Goldengoose Perhaps there is a misread on what I meant in the OP as it pertains to the part being highlighted in your post:

I don't know about any of you guys but I want the best. Why should I have to settle for anything less? There is nothing wrong with having a better deal when you can have it. When girls aren't living up to my expectations I will get better ones who will fulfill what I expect. There's nothing bad about that at all. Men should replace women that they don't like or ones that aren't respecting them. If you think that is a bad thing, then there is something wrong wth you.

What I attempted to say is that spinning plates consistently over a period of time can cause a man to be in the habit of always being in "hunt" mode. What this means is, even once a guy has found "the best," because of the habit he's developed of constantly seeking other women out he will continue to do so. At this point, for the guy it's not about being with "the best," but rather always being with what's new. Furthermore, if a guy has been with a girl long enough, there's going to be disagreements every so often. A guy that's been in spinning plates mode for years becomes accustomed to getting rid of women at the first sign of an argument; as a result, he could very well be getting rid of "the best" simply because he's not willing to talk out the disagreement with her, deciding instead that moving on to the next one would be a better idea. The problem, though, is that any girl he gets with is going to, at some point, have an argument with him; thus, he is constantly replacing women, to the point that he never actually settles down with one (assuming this is his goal, of course - for those of you not trying to commit to one girl, feel free to ignore this entire post).

 

[goldengoose]

@Goldengoose Perhaps there is a misread on what I meant in the OP as it pertains to the part being highlighted in your post:



What I attempted to say is that spinning plates consistently over a period of time can cause a man to be in the habit of always being in "hunt" mode. What this means is, even once a guy has found "the best," because of the habit he's developed of constantly seeking other women out he will continue to do so. At this point, for the guy it's not about being with "the best," but rather always being with what's new. Furthermore, if a guy has been with a girl long enough, there's going to be disagreements every so often. A guy that's been in spinning plates mode for years becomes accustomed to getting rid of women at the first sign of an argument; as a result, he could very well be getting rid of "the best" simply because he's not willing to talk out the disagreement with her, deciding instead that moving on to the next one would be a better idea. The problem, though, is that any girl he gets with is going to, at some point, have an argument with him; thus, he is constantly replacing women, to the point that he never actually settles down with one (assuming this is his goal, of course - for those of you not trying to commit to one girl, feel free to ignore this entire post).

Thanks for the reply Harry, you made a valid point. But, I would say that a guy that has been spinning plates for years and got into a relationship with "the best" wouldn't get rid of her that fast because he is serious about keeping her. He was busy pumpng and dumping for years, now he decided that he found someone worth keeping so he wouldn't dump her at one argument. Now, if those arguments persist and the chick doesn't turn out to be "the best" as he thought, then there should be no reason to replace. Why stay with one girl that doesn't add anything positive to your life? Would you disagree this guy should have other options while in the relationship or would you agree that would give him a mindset to replace her at the drop of the hat as you have mentioned?

 

[Poop1337]

Spinning plates is a must always even if you're married with children

 

[Zarky]

some women are better than others.

That's what everyone means when they say "quality".

Children and families...that's what it comes down to.

Well then they're using an absolute term to describe a relative phenomenon. I agree that some women are better than others, but that ain't saying much.

Children and families are what I'd like to avoid.

 

[asa_don]

Women WILL NOT change your life, they will only add to it.

you have zero experience with women if you think they can't change your life.

 

[asa_don]

Attracting women will NOT make you happy, HAPPY PEOPLE attract women.

i'm happy when i'm attracting women and having sex, aren't you?

are you saying a really fat guy or ugly guy who looks happy is going to attract a lot of women?

 

[zekko]

are you saying a really fat guy or ugly guy who looks happy is going to attract a lot of women?

You make a good point. Thing is, a happy fat guy is going to attract more women than a sullen fat guy. People will be drawn to the happy fat guy because he's fun, so chances are he will find more women around. That doesn't mean they will want to date him or fvck him, of course.

Point is though, a good attitude is almost always going to beat a bad attitude, no matter what the situation.

 

[3agle 3yes]

you have zero experience with women if you think they can't change your life.

Give me an example...

i'm happy when i'm attracting women and having sex, aren't you?

Nope. I don't attract women and have sex with them to feel happy. I already feel good.

I do it because I like it.

are you saying a really fat guy or ugly guy who looks happy is going to attract a lot of women?

Ironically most fat and "ugly" guys aren't happy...coincidence?

Also, I keep seeing the word "ugly" being thrown around here a lot and it seems to me many don't know what it means.

What does an "ugly" guy look to you?

 

[asa_don]

You make a good point. Thing is, a happy fat guy is going to attract more women than a sullen fat guy. People will be drawn to the happy fat guy because he's fun, so chances are he will find more women around. That doesn't mean they will want to date him or fvck him, of course.

Point is though, a good attitude is almost always going to beat a bad attitude, no matter what the situation.

good point, i know a heavy set guy who is a jokester, people like him because he is funny, good looking women will laugh with him but not want to have sex with him, he will get women who are big, he is a happy guy.

Give me an example...

you dont know? this shows you have zero experience if you're looking for examples.

here's one of many, harry wilmington talked about getting a girl pregnant, a girl can easily stop taking her pills to get pregnant on purpose, she gets knocked up, the guy is stuck with a kid, his life has changed because she changed it for him, don't try to twist it with an argument saying the guy allowed it or some sh!t like that, she changed his life with her actions.

Nope. I don't attract women and have sex with them to feel happy. I already feel good.

if you already feel good, you will still feel good attracting them, you will be happy doing it.

Ironically most fat and "ugly" guys aren't happy...coincidence?

not true, i know ugly and fat guys who have ugly or fat girlfriends/wives, they are happy people and dont give a sh!t what they look like

What does an "ugly" guy look to you?

its not what i think its what the women think who are evaluating them

ugly men can get women, they will have a equally ugly woman

ugly men had the game to get their ugly woman, the ugly guys with no game have no woman, thats the difference.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...here's one of many, harry wilmington talked about getting a girl pregnant, a girl can easily stop taking her pills to get pregnant on purpose, she gets knocked up, the guy is stuck with a kid, his life has changed because she changed it for him, don't try to twist it with an argument saying the guy allowed it or some sh!t like that, she changed his life with her actions.

You took my post COMPLETELY out of context.

Read the post where I mentioned how women won't change your life.

I was referring to guys who go on here thinking how there lives are going to be perfect if they bang and have a relationship with that one girl they have oni-i-tis on.

Also, FYI it takes an extremely shady women to deliberately get pregnant and f*ck up someone's life like that.

The signs would be obvious to me and should be for everyone else as well.

if you already feel good, you will still feel good attracting them, you will be happy doing it.

Yes, but that's not what I meant.

Happiness is NOT the primary reason I do it.

not true, i know ugly and fat guys who have ugly or fat girlfriends/wives, they are happy people and dont give a sh!t what they look like

Well then, you've just proved my previous point.

Happy people attract women.

its not what i think its what the women think who are evaluating them

ugly men can get women, they will have a equally ugly woman

ugly men had the game to get their ugly woman, the ugly guys with no game have no woman, thats the difference.

Answer this "brain teaser" for me.

If a man is in shape, dresses well, is sociable, knows how to flirt and be sexual with women, is well cultured...BUT his face isn't "perfectly symmetrical" i.e. his face doesn't confine to the typical standards of beauty.

Is he ugly?

 

[asa_don]

You took my post COMPLETELY out of context.

no, i didn't, how can i when you wrote a false comment? you said women can't change your life, i just gave you an example of how they can, you can't argue that.

Read the post where I mentioned how women won't change your life.

that is false because women CAN change your life, if you had experience with women you'd know that.

Women WILL NOT change your life, they will only add to it.

that's what you said, women can ALWAYS change your life, your comment is false

I was referring to guys who go on here thinking how there lives are going to be perfect if they bang and have a relationship with that one girl they have oni-i-tis on.

doesn't matter, women can still change your life regardless if it is one girl in a relationship, a plate, a friend, co-worker, ex, or a woman you try to meet.

Also, FYI it takes an extremely shady women to deliberately get pregnant and f*ck up someone's life like that.

lots of women are shady, lots of women can change your life doing other things, if you had experience you'd know that.

The signs would be obvious to me and should be for everyone else as well.

there isn't always signs when women try to fvck you over, if that was the case, men wouldn't get fvcked over, would they?, they would already know beforehand.

Yes, but that's not what I meant.

Happiness is NOT the primary reason I do it.

you're not making sense, men are happy attracting and fvcking women when they do it, why aren't you?

Well then, you've just proved my previous point.

Happy people attract women.

no, they attracted the only thing they could find, just because they are happy they aren't attracting women.

Answer this "brain teaser" for me.

If a man is in shape, dresses well, is sociable, knows how to flirt and be sexual with women, is well cultured...BUT his face isn't "perfectly symmetrical" i.e. his face doesn't confine to the typical standards of beauty.

Is he ugly?

that's up to the women herself to decide if he is ugly to her, that's what determines if he gets sex or not.

my hypothetical answer to your hypothetical question doesn't matter when it's the woman's decision that matters if he's going to get laid.

 

[goldengoose]

That's the thing Harry--some guys, like myself, are never going to want to commit to one girl--and thus, we will never agree with you, no matter what you claim to be the "bad" aspects of spinning plates.

In my mind, there's no such thing as "the best" when it comes to women.

To think that I have the attained the "best" of anything is foolish arrogance on my part. I am lying to myself and others when I say to people, "She's the best wife a guy could ever hope for." When other guys claim that they have "the best" wife ever, I roll my eyes. I know there is ALWAYS something better out there, no matter what our minds and society tell us.

STRIVING for the best is key.

ASSUMING the best is when life gets boring and stagnant.

We should ALWAYS aspire to reach higher. ALWAYS. Marriage, career, and other so-called "Western values" often confine us from acting and thinking independently.

Just about every woman I've been with, I've reached a point of realization in which I've said to myself, "Dam this woman is really annoying. I'm pretty fvucking sick and tired of her shiat."

It's THAT point of realization when I decide to settle, cheat, or leave. Societal pressure urges me to settle and lie to myself and proclaim that I have "found my soulmate." My best option is to leave. I refuse to spend too much time feeling miserable and wondering if the grass in greener on the other side.

Great comment there Espi. If you're going to be in a relationship you should choose "the best" over all the other options. But in reality, she is not "the best" because there is always going to be somebody better than her.

That's the mentality that women have, they are always looking for better if they can get it. Reminds me of all those women that various friends have on Facebook. These chicks gush all over the place that they have "the best boyfriend ever" and "how lucky" they are to have him. A few months later a status update reads "Eh, he wasn't that great after all." Then she bounces a new dude in and it repeats itself with him being so great.

Even men will brag about their beautiful wives and girlfriends, when you finally see then in the flesh they are ugly as hell. It's just their biased opinion like mothers say they have the "greatest kids" even though they aren't so great

I don't see anything bad about spinning plates as long as you're getting what you want, you are successful at it, and you don't have to settle for a lousy woman stuck in a relationship being unhappy. Way too many guys do that just for the sake of having a relationship.

I value worth and happiness, if a woman isn't worth it, there is no need to be with just one girl being miserable. That's why there is plates to keep you busy until you want to commit to one girl.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

there is no CON to having plates. there simply isn't. not unless the person is an idiot. but then the con will be in his own stupidity.

 

[zekko]

there is no CON to having plates. there simply isn't.

I agree with this, for the most part. However: When I was spinning plates, there did come a time when I started to grow tired of it, and found it ultimately unsatisfying. Just read this forum about all the bullsh!t there is to put up with in the dating game, and you should have some clue as to why.

Also, once you have experienced a good quality LTR, the experience of casual dating pales in comparison. At least it does for me, YMMV. Why settle for girls who tick a few of your boxes when you can have one that ticks all of them?

 

[asa_don]

I agree with this, for the most part. However: When I was spinning plates, there did come a time when I started to grow tired of it, and found it ultimately unsatisfying. Just read this forum about all the bullsh!t there is to put up with in the dating game, and you should have some clue as to why.

Also, once you have experienced a good quality LTR, the experience of casual dating pales in comparison. At least it does for me, YMMV. Why settle for girls who tick a few of your boxes when you can have one that ticks all of them?

agreed, although you decided on your own that you were tired of it, there was no cons in it from your years of spinning, you wanted a LTR after all those years, most guys will finally want the same, not because it was BAD, but because it was your choice to switch gears for one woman, that is totally different than the advice given by harry telling us spinning plates is bad, none of his bad points became an issue with you, it wont become an issue with other guys either, im not sure how he even thought up these bad points of spinning plates.

 

[3agle 3yes]

no, i didn't, how can i when you wrote a false comment?

The fact is you still took my statement out of context...I only meant it in the instance I mentioned in that post.

If you want to look at it your way EVERYTHING is life changing all the way down even to the most minute thing.

And even if I were to use my statement in your context, women STILL won't change your life.

Regardless of what a woman does to you, it is the CONSEQUENCE of that action that is life changing not the women THEMSELVES. So actually YOUR statement is false.

Many women don't know what the f*ck they're doing anyway.

there isn't always signs when women try to fvck you over, if that was the case, men wouldn't get fvcked over, would they?, they would already know beforehand.

That's just the excuse of someone who can't read the signs.

A woman who wants to start sh!t with men she just met, would have so many red flags it would practically be a red bloc.

I've come across women that have wanted to start sh!t, yes, but it was laughable at best...and in my experience anything so serious is rare.

you're not making sense, men are happy attracting and fvcking women when they do it, why aren't you?

I just said I was, but I also said it wasn't my PRIMARY reason.

If it was I would be DEPRESSED and down when it wasn't happening.

I don't take women so seriously.

no, they attracted the only thing they could find, just because they are happy they aren't attracting women.

They attracted those women didn't they?

You're just arguing for argument's sake aren't you?

OF COURSE being "happy" isn't the only requirement for attracting women, but it is a start.

The basis of that statement I made is that:

What you have in life ISN'T what you are, what you have is BECAUSE of what you are.

that's up to the women herself to decide if he is ugly to her, that's what determines if he gets sex or not.

Whether the man in my example get's laid or not has NOTHING to do with whether he is ugly.

Not all women have sex with people they find physically attractive, furthermore, women do have sex with people they don't find physically attractive as well.

The man in my example can't be ugly. Any person who maximises their potential can't be, REGARDLESS of what any woman says.

Ugly is an overused word, a lot of the time it is subjective and it is mostly insignificant when attracting women ASSUMING the man is similar to the one I described.

The idea that women choose who they're attracted to is an ILLUSION.

We don't choose the people we like because our choice is SUBJECT to how those people are.