The TRUTH About "Spinning Plates" (The Good and the BAD)

[Harry Wilmington]

@Zarky: Wow, so harsh-sounding in your response! Look, clearly we are on different dating paths; if you've seen the other posts I've started and/or responded to on here, the majority of the advice I give out is with the thought that guys are looking to eventually be with one girl long-term. Personally, I don't see why this is seen as a "beta" thing - wanting to be with someone whom you can love and have love you back does not make one any less "Alpha" than one who is looking to bang a bunch of chicks. To hear you say it, every man who figures out a way to keep a woman by his side long-term without wanting to sleep with someone else and while being able to keep her in check, must be a beta-male? If so, then I come from a LOOOOOOONG line of beta men - about 85% of the men in my family have all been married to the same women, the elders of which have been together for 30 to 40+ years. Sure, they were in the army, served their country, got on the Supreme Court, and had women by their side who were able to support them, love them, bare and take care of their children, and seemed genuinely happy to show their men they loved them - but hey, screw 'em all, right? Loving one woman and wanting the children to only have one mommy to deal with is totally beta!

Honestly, I think some of you guys look at things too short-term. Because I've seen the other side of this whole thing: I've seen the parts where my male relatives get older, weaker, sicker, and can't do for themselves... and y'know the person that's helping them with their day to day existence in their declining years? The one that's wiping their butts every morning, getting them dressed, making sure they have food to eat? That's right - it's the one woman that's been there for 30 to 40+ years who's happy to do it. So, as much as you guys think it's all fun and games now, the reality is none of these women whose hearts you're playing with or getting rid of at the drop of a hat when a better version comes along, NONE of those women are going to be around later in life when you need someone to take care of you.

Now, am I saying that married life is for everybody? No - but I'm saying that just because it's not for you doesn't mean you have to bash it. I grew up around happy marriages that I saw work out, so for me I seek things that will help me get that lifestyle. If that's not your path, fine - most of the advice I give can be used for both pathways, but if you're not trying to do that, just avoid the parts where I talk about how to keep a woman around long term. But again - just 'cause it's not for you doesn't mean it's not a valid thing for other guys to go after, nor does it make them "beta." If anything, being beta to me means having to juggle multiple chicks because you're too afraid to actually handle a REAL relationship - one where you don't always get to stay in the honeymoon phase and talk through issues rather than dropping a "plate" and avoiding the chance at true intimacy. But hey - multiple women, right? 3 in one day, right? That's a REAL man for you - and, eventually, a real LONELY one at that.

 

[Trump]

@Zarky: Wow, so harsh-sounding in your response! Look, clearly we are on different dating paths; if you've seen the other posts I've started and/or responded to on here, the majority of the advice I give out is with the thought that guys are looking to eventually be with one girl long-term. Personally, I don't see why this is seen as a "beta" thing - wanting to be with someone whom you can love and have love you back does not make one any less "Alpha" than one who is looking to bang a bunch of chicks. To hear you say it, every man who figures out a way to keep a woman by his side long-term without wanting to sleep with someone else and while being able to keep her in check, must be a beta-male? If so, then I come from a LOOOOOOONG line of beta men - about 85% of the men in my family have all been married to the same women, the elders of which have been together for 30 to 40+ years. Sure, they were in the army, served their country, got on the Supreme Court, and had women by their side who were able to support them, love them, bare and take care of their children, and seemed genuinely happy to show their men they loved them - but hey, screw 'em all, right? Loving one woman and wanting the children to only have one mommy to deal with is totally beta!

Honestly, I think some of you guys look at things too short-term. Because I've seen the other side of this whole thing: I've seen the parts where my male relatives get older, weaker, sicker, and can't do for themselves... and y'know the person that's helping them with their day to day existence in their declining years? The one that's wiping their butts every morning, getting them dressed, making sure they have food to eat? That's right - it's the one woman that's been there for 30 to 40+ years who's happy to do it. So, as much as you guys think it's all fun and games now, the reality is none of these women whose hearts you're playing with or getting rid of at the drop of a hat when a better version comes along, NONE of those women are going to be around later in life when you need someone to take care of you.

But again - just 'cause it's not for you doesn't mean it's not a valid thing for other guys to go after, nor does it make them "beta." If anything, being beta to me means having to juggle multiple chicks because you're too afraid to actually handle a REAL relationship - one where you don't always get to stay in the honeymoon phase and talk through issues rather than dropping a "plate" and avoiding the chance at true intimacy. But hey - multiple women, right? 3 in one day, right? That's a REAL man for you - and, eventually, a real LONELY one at that.

We are not saying relationships are all fun and games, we are saying watch your back with women like you would with your money.

We are not saying go out juggle multiple chicks just for the fun of it.

We are saying spin plates so she can feel you can get another girl when she tries to pull bs on you. You haven't seen what we've seen, you think marriages are all lovey dovey nice things were people are always in the honeymoon phase. We've seen bankruptcies, divorces, affairs, rapes, everything, because the guy believed in true intimacy.

But keep at it if you want. Believe in true fairly tales with a girl who is 28+ and has given all the sex she can handle to every guy who can get at her feelings, but now wants the guy who couldn't to financially take care of her for the rest of her life.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

We are not saying relationships are all fun and games, we are saying watch your back with women like you would with your money.

We are not saying go out juggle multiple chicks just for the fun of it.

We are saying spin plates so she can feel you can get another girl when she tries to pull bs on you. You haven't seen what we've seen, you think marriages are all lovey dovey nice things were people are always in the honeymoon phase. We've seen bankruptcies, divorces, affairs, rapes, everything, because the guy believed in true intimacy.

But keep at it if you want. Believe in true fairly tales with a girl who is 28+ and has given all the sex she can handle to every guy who can get at her feelings, but now wants the guy who couldn't to financially take care of her for the rest of her life.

Another example of someone who's been jaded as the result of making bad relationship choices. Also, you guys are doing the same thing women do when they get into an argument, which is making absolute statements about things that I've never said. I've never said "I think marriages are all lovey dover nice things where people are always in the honeymoon phase." What I've said time and time again is I grew up surrounded by people in positive, WORKING marriages. I've also had friends go through divorces and/or end up in bad relationships, but seeing those things didn't dissuade me from the idea of marriage as a whole. If you've been in so many bad relationships that the idea of that scares you or you think it's a bad idea, I feel sorry for you but it's in your right to view it that way.

Also, a guy that's confident enough in himself about getting other chicks doesn't need to be dating multiple ones when he's with someone who thinks he's being exclusive to her. Me, I already KNOW I can do that, so I don't have to have another chick on the side in case the one I'm dating at the moment starts to act up - if anything, having all these plates only prevents a guy from talking things out with a woman should any misunderstandings arise. But hey, keep at it if you want - believe in true fairy tales that while you're spinning plates these girls aren't out doing the same thing because they feel, on some level, that you can't commit. Enjoy the constant pressure and worry of wondering if you've possibly caught some STD or gotten some girl(s) pregnant because you just had to sex all these women at one time, and who won't want to be around to see you well into old age. Don't ever enjoy the feeling of a woman who loves you so much that she wants to give you all the sex you can handle (and MORE) because she's fulfilled in knowing that you truly care for her. These are the things I've seen and am currently experiencing, and it feels WAAAAAAAAY better than hammering a bunch of random broads.

But hey, that's just MY experience.

 

[asa_don]

Honestly, I think some of you guys look at things too short-term. Because I've seen the other side of this whole thing: I've seen the parts where my male relatives get older, weaker, sicker, and can't do for themselves... and y'know the person that's helping them with their day to day existence in their declining years? The one that's wiping their butts every morning, getting them dressed, making sure they have food to eat? That's right - it's the one woman that's been there for 30 to 40+ years who's happy to do it. So, as much as you guys think it's all fun and games now, the reality is none of these women whose hearts you're playing with or getting rid of at the drop of a hat when a better version comes along, NONE of those women are going to be around later in life when you need someone to take care of you.

a woman might be wiping the old guy's butt, but it sure isnt the wife, it's the nurse at the convalescent home doing the wiping after the wife and family put the old guy in there.

 

[Epimanes]

I'm glad I never spun any plates. Wouldn't want to have my woman spin plates on me. (Golden rule? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you) But then again my wife is fvcking amazing (even after 20 years its getting better and better). Sure she has her ups and downs (as we all do) just keeping frame and being my best self when ever I can regardless of her frame is key. She often gives up on her frame for mine when I don't confrom unless I have been a real meat head and really hurt her feelings.

So I disagree about spinning plates... For my own personal reasons but if that's your thing who am I to say?

Epi

 

[goldengoose]

Harry, you are all over the place in this thread with your advice and responses. Everything that you're saying is coming from your own personal opinion instead of reality. If you believe in those bad qualities about spinning plates, then you haven't developed much or spun many plates.

You said that you banged many women, but then you are against spinning plates pushing the relationship angle. How can you bang all those women and write a thread like this? Not to mention your negative responses to spinning plates towards the posters. Your stories conflict with your advice. Clear this up for me because I don't get how you can be both for and then against spinning plates with your negative responses to it.

I remember a couple of years ago when I banged 3 different chicks in the course of one week. I didn't have to take any of them out, compliment them, or text them back and forth on the phone. All I did was invite them over (or go to their place), talk with them for a little bit, then BOOM - it was straight to ScrewTown!

where I got good with women. I mean, REALLY good. I mean, good to the point where I could literally go to house parties at my friends' apartments, meet a girl, and be screwing her brains out before the night was over. I'm talking good to the point where I could go on 5 dates in one week as a result of my online dating skills. I'm talking good to the point where I could bang 3 or 4 chicks all in one week within less than a day of each other.

Here you talk about all the women you banged going to Screw Town

I remember a couple of years ago when I banged 3 different chicks in the course of one week.


But hey - multiple women, right? 3 in one day, right? That's a REAL man for you - and, eventually, a real LONELY one at that.

Here you talk about banging 3 chicks in a week, but then you are against a guy who said he banged 3 women in a day. If you were spinning plates too, you wouldn't criticize him for doing the same thing that you're doing.

What's the difference if he banged 3 chicks in a day and you banged 3 in a week? That's still multiple women you're fvcking isn't it? Why are you against what he's doing when you said you are doing the same thing? Your stories conflict with your advice.

Enjoy the constant pressure and worry of wondering if you've possibly caught some STD or gotten some girl(s) pregnant because you just had to sex all these women at one time, and who won't want to be around to see you well into old age. Don't ever enjoy the feeling of a woman who loves you so much that she wants to give you all the sex you can handle (and MORE) because she's fulfilled in knowing that you truly care for her. These are the things I've seen and am currently experiencing, and it feels WAAAAAAAAY better than hammering a bunch of random broads


If anything, being beta to me means having to juggle multiple chicks because you're too afraid to actually handle a REAL relationship - one where you don't always get to stay in the honeymoon phase and talk through issues rather than dropping a "plate" and avoiding the chance at true intimacy.

Now, here you insult a man who wants to spin plates and you go against everything that you claim to be doing yourself.

If you went to Screw Town with many women Harry, why would you say sh1t like this? Why are you against spinning plates? Were you worried about getting STD's and getting girls pregnant? Did you feel like a beta banging them?

I don't understand how you can say crap like this when you say you're out there doing the same thing.

Harry, you still can get ONE girl pregnant or get an STD from a girlfriend if you don't know about her sexual past. She could even fvck around behind your back an give you an STD. Just because you have a relationship title on it, doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect like you think. Sh1t can happen man. Wake up. You can't look at everything through rose colored glasses like you are doing.

An alpha is the man who is fvcking many women, he isn't feeling like a beta when he is doing it. If you feel like a beta when you're fvcking many different women, then you should go get your head examined.

 

[zinc4]

i wish i could be completely content with only one....i really do...but variety and new ***** is what does it for me and i feel great everytime i get with a new one...even the 5s and 6s bring me joy if they are new *****...

 

[Greasy Pig]

I agree there are positives and negatives.
1. The positives for me were learning not to put up with one minute of female bullsht or drama. If they made me feel uncomfortable, I'd next them because I knew they could be replaced in a heartbeat.
2. My self esteem improved with each new lay and I became far more confident making new approaches.
3. At my peak, I had four chicks who were DTF at any time I wanted them. I loved it and learned to have an abundance mentality which affected my interactions with all women and I got more lays as a result. It was like a vicious cycle of pvssy.

The negatives were:
1. I became an arsehole. Not just the C&F arsehole, the kind of arsehole who would tell a girl to her face that she was an unworthy warpig who I wouldn't p1ss on if she was on fire. And then pour a drink on her nice shoes and tell her to fvck off. My sister actually sat me down to counsel me about it!
2. I began to see women as expendable cvm dumpsters who were merely put on this Earth to suck my dyck. If they weren't willing to do that, they weren't worth knowing. I know I rejected and hurt a lot of top quality women over the years because I wasn't willing to make any effort to actually wine and dine them. If they didn't want to fvck casually, I didn't want to know them.
3. The biggest one is that I was - and still am - addicted to the rush of new-found lust and it's affecting my current LTR. When I was spinning plates, I and the women always knew that we weren't meeting up to go shopping, meet her parents or wash cars, we were there to fvck. The kind of dirty, lustful, passionate fvcking that only occurs in the first 6 months of a relationship. Then, as soon as I blew my load, I'd leave and not contact them again until I was horny. Perfect scenario.
I really miss that and find myself resenting my GF when she doesn't want to bang because I am hooked on the "new partner" lust rush I became accustomed to.

I was using plate spinning mostly as a screening tool. The experience I gained helped me discover what sort of woman I was truly in search of to pair off with.
But there are some negatives peculiar to each man.

 

[zekko]

Also, a guy that's confident enough in himself about getting other chicks doesn't need to be dating multiple ones when he's with someone who thinks he's being exclusive to her. Me, I already KNOW I can do that, so I don't have to have another chick on the side in case the one I'm dating at the moment starts to act up

I'm not sure I agree with your "cons" list of spinning plates. But I do agree with this statement here. Once you reach this mindset where you know you can always get another girl, and if you know you can walk away from the current one if acts up, you don't really need to spin plates.

Of course, you can if you want to. I think spinning plates is a good dating strategy, but I don't think it's as strictly necessary as this site makes it sound - as long as you have the right mindset. I think that after nearly a lifetime of successes and failures with women, I have this mindset. Having said that, I spun plates when I was in my 20s and early 30s, and I do think it is something every guy should do at least some time in his life.

a woman might be wiping the old guy's butt, but it sure isnt the wife, it's the nurse at the convalescent home doing the wiping after the wife and family put the old guy in there.

There are women out there who will abandon you in your time of need, but there are also women who will stand by you. I don't believe it is always possible to know which is which. All you can do is make your best guess. But it's too cynical to think that having a successful relationship in this day and age is impossible, even if the odds may be against you.

Zarky says that if you aren't fvcking multiple women, then you're a beta. I don't see what is so alpha about banging a bunch of 5s off of POF, however. When it comes down to it, who really cares? If a guy's end game is to want to be in a relationship, I don't see anything wrong with that. Marriage for men today is high risk though.

 

[asa_don]

There are women out there who will abandon you in your time of need, but there are also women who will stand by you. I don't believe it is always possible to know which is which. All you can do is make your best guess. But it's too cynical to think that having a successful relationship in this day and age is impossible, even if the odds may be against you.

it isn't a question if the woman stands by you, its the matter if she is capable of taking care of you. an elderly woman who is weak herself won't be able to care for her husband doing all those tasks when he cant do for himself. thats why there is a fallacy to his comments. having a good solid relationship is not impossible, you need the right woman to make it happen. the only way there are negatives is if you have a poor mind set to allow that.

Zarky says that if you aren't fvcking multiple women, then you're a beta. I don't see what is so alpha about banging a bunch of 5s off of POF, however. When it comes down to it, who really cares? If a guy's end game is to want to be in a relationship, I don't see anything wrong with that. Marriage for men today is high risk though.

this alpha/beta stuff is overplayed, all of these guys claiming to be alpha are far from it, there is nothing wrong with being in a relationship or being married ,that's not being a beta, being a beta is how you are acting in that relationship.

 

[asa_don]

1. Spinning plates places you in the mindset that you can't hold onto a woman long-term.

wrong, you spin plates short term to find a woman you can have long term.

2. Spinning plates put you in the mode of always, looking for the "bigger, better" deal.

no, once you are with the woman you want you aren't looking for a better deal, thats reason why you were spinning plates.

3. Spinning plates now allows you to become comfortable with cheating on your girlfriend/spouse later on.

false, you got all that out of your system spinning plates so you can settle down with the one.


women spin plates in relationships

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

In Lesson 14 of Pook's "15 Lessons" he breaks down spinning plates. Highly recommended reading. :yes:

Lesson Fourteen

The young man had one problem left. He would be very successful with women, from one night stands, from casual dating, from relationships, and so on. Yet, every now and then, he got that feeling of something BURSTING through his chest like a creature popping out from Alien.

The woman would talk to him, “Blah blah blah.” He felt it inside, a very sweet but gooeish feeling. She would go on, “Blah yappity blah blah” and he felt the sickly warm feeling spread throughout his body. What was happening to him? “Yappity yap blah blah, yapitty, blah yap!” the girl continued as he felt the FEELINGS spread throughout his body, paralyzing him, like a poison. “Yah blah blah yah,” she went on, oblivious as he was collapsing from this sickness.

The next day, he had this OVERWHELIMG urge to send her flowers, chocolate, and bad poetry. It was too much, and he gave in, and saying, “You are my life. I love nothing else so well as you. I will do ANYTHING for you.”

Then she said, “I think we should just be friends…”

Oh, that AFC disease rose up again in him! How does one smash it forever? He smiled, and realized:

Always have a back-up chick!

“But Pook! Perhaps this guy was falling in love!”

“No. It was a False Love. Come and see.”

Pook led the youth inside Every Man’s Heart. Inside the cavernous room, each surrounding wall depicted television screens with a graphic.

“What is this place?”

“Every guy has a passion about different things. On that wall is his ‘car’ passion. We see many screens of different cars, all ones he loves. On that other wall there is his ‘food’ passion. We see screens of all his favorite foods. And if you come along here, you’ll find the Ambition Wall where screens show all the things he wants to do. Now look at the Women Wall.”

“Pook! There is only one picture on it!”

“Yes. Nature has designed us to love in a marriage way when there is only one picture on that wall.”

“I can understand that. But where is the problem?”

“The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are ‘dating’ or ‘just friends’.”

“Oh dear…”

“Yes. When a guy decides to go dating and dates only ONE chick at a time, only one picture will appear on the wall. When there is only one, he is designed to think of her in a marriage way. So he starts becoming AFC with this girl he just talked to.”

“So say if a guy is socially unskilled and has only one friend that is a girl, only that girl’s picture will appear on the wall? And because of that, he will ‘fall in love’ with his friend?”

“Exactly! If there is only one f*ckbuddy, he will eventually want to ‘date’ the girl, want to become exclusive with her, and turn into a total AFC.”

“But if he has a back-up chick…”

“…then another girl is on the wall as well. He can’t act ‘married’ if there is more than one girl up there. Thus, he stops becoming a ‘latent AFC’.”

“But what if he has his interest in other things? Shouldn’t he date only one girl then?”

“No. Either go for MANY or go for NONE. If you go for ONE you will become an AFC. Most guys are too LAZY or too SCARED to go for multiple girls. So they remain AFCs and forever remain in the vicious cycle.”

 

[Zarky]

The negatives were:
1. I became an arsehole. Not just the C&F arsehole, the kind of arsehole who would tell a girl to her face that she was an unworthy warpig who I wouldn't p1ss on if she was on fire. And then pour a drink on her nice shoes and tell her to fvck off. My sister actually sat me down to counsel me about it!
2. I began to see women as expendable cvm dumpsters who were merely put on this Earth to suck my dyck. If they weren't willing to do that, they weren't worth knowing. I know I rejected and hurt a lot of top quality women over the years because I wasn't willing to make any effort to actually wine and dine them. If they didn't want to fvck casually, I didn't want to know them.
3. The biggest one is that I was - and still am - addicted to the rush of new-found lust and it's affecting my current LTR. When I was spinning plates, I and the women always knew that we weren't meeting up to go shopping, meet her parents or wash cars, we were there to fvck. The kind of dirty, lustful, passionate fvcking that only occurs in the first 6 months of a relationship.

I...umm... don't see how those are negatives :crackup:

I know I rejected and hurt a lot of top quality women over the years because I wasn't willing to make any effort to actually wine and dine them.

You're being sarcastic, right?

 

[3agle 3yes]

This thread is old, but no one said it better than SoSuave666 (what happened to him anyway?). It needs to be repeated:

...the real purpose of spinning, at least for me, is to screen. It doesn't hurt that you have a lot of secks at your disposal in the process...

This was the number one reason for that thread I made with the "alpha" females?

Remember? The one that everyone hated.

If you spin plates long enough, you start to become like the women who you lusted over. You know, the 9s and 10s (if you think 10s exist).

You become EXTREMELY picky about the women you f*ck (yes not even date, F*CK).

I hope you guys see where I was coming from...

Also, if you're just starting out in the game....I recommend you DON'T spin plates to get over one-i-tis. Most guys starting out can't anyway.

Learn to value YOURSELF FIRST not other people, then one-i-tis will disappear. Give yourself goals to achieve and work on them every day. Make sure it has NOTHING to do with women.

Women WILL NOT change your life, they will only add to it.

Attracting women will NOT make you happy, HAPPY PEOPLE attract women.

 

[JohnChops]

harry really... find "the one" .. jesus Christ man. Dating one girl at a time? My god.... is this SS or ****ing loveshack/

 

[ArcBound]

While I don't completely agree with Harry Wilmington, I think a lot of you misrepresented his argument by focusing on his faulty definition of a quality woman. Of course I think he is wrong in correlating career with quality women, but his con #2 still stands for what I think is a quality woman.

There are times when you get your most of sh!t together and women are coming. You previously only wanted to find a good woman and be content with that, but now you keep searching for another. Yes this girl is a 8 and cooks for me, but I can get more? Can I get better? A 9? A 10? I've had cycles like that when I had to stop myself and ask myself what my goal was.

I imagine it is like the modern day young woman, no? She finds good, even great men, but she is always seeking more, better. Heck half the time, it is not even better, just different, novel. I think when we reach that point as men, we do the same thing. Novelty for the sake novelty...I don't buy it.

Also I am in favor of, I believe Rollo's definition of a plate, you don't actually have to be fvcking other girls (though you could), you just have to know you can.

 

[Mr Wright]

I hate to sound like a liberal Lucy but it's obvious that people are spinning plates for their own reasons so both the good and bad points only have a certain level of validity. I have no desire to have something long term at the moment so the bad points don't really fit into my reality. There's no real truth just little truths for each one of us.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

While I don't completely agree with Harry Wilmington, I think a lot of you misrepresented his argument by focusing on his faulty definition of a quality woman. Of course I think he is wrong in correlating career with quality women, but his con #2 still stands for what I think is a quality woman.

@ArcBound Yes, thank you for clearing that up. At the time I wrote the OP, I wasn't trying to imply that women who do the jobs I listed necessarily are quality women. What I was getting at was that women with those types of jobs are usually SEEN or considered by society as quality women since, based on what they do, they make it appear as though they have themselves put together. I could go on all day about women I've met who don't have these jobs but are there to stand by their man and do the characteristically womanly support things that would make them "quality," but again - most people equate a woman's job position with them being quality, so that was the comparison I went with.

 

[asa_don]

While I don't completely agree with Harry Wilmington, I think a lot of you misrepresented his argument by focusing on his faulty definition of a quality woman. Of course I think he is wrong in correlating career with quality women, but his con #2 still stands for what I think is a quality woman.

not everybody is talking about con #2, we are talking about everything in general.

since when does a "quality job" make her a "quality woman"?

what about teachers who have sex with their students? how about the scientist that killed her boyfriend? the lawyer who was stealing money from the firm. are these "quality women" just because they have a quality job? no, it depends on the woman if she is a quality person.

I believe Rollo's definition of a plate, you don't actually have to be fvcking other girls (though you could), you just have to know you can.

that's what having options means, women have orbiters as theirs.

 

[Evan]

Originally Posted by Aristippus

I hear people on here say "spin plates". They're talking about having many women. I say do something better than juggling women. Be passionate about life. Enjoy the simple pleasures. Enjoy your friends. Enjoy your interests. Enjoy goofing off. Enjoy pursuing your professional goals. Enjoy your family. Enjoy physical activity. Enjoy reading. Enjoy being with people. Enjoy your alone time. Enjoy new experiences. Enjoy old experiences. Enjoy the peace of mind of not dealing with drama.

Enjoy being friends with women. Enjoy kissing women. Enjoy going home with them. Or enjoy when you weed one out who isn't worth your time. If you only get a hug, enjoy it. If you get a kiss, enjoy it. Make your standards for behavior for yourself and for others high. Worship these standards as if they were living gods. Be a man of your word. Be a good man and expect nothing less than a good woman (or women). Let THESE things be your so-called "plates". Then women will have very little power over you. You already have dozens of things that you enjoy. And dozens that are important to you. THESE are the real "plates".

Spin them over and over until you get dizzy. And keep spinning them. Then when a woman says "I can't hang out tonight." You can honestly say "That's fine. We'll do it another time.". But maybe on the inside of your head you're saying "COOL! Now I can go watch that movie I've been wanting to see!" or "Great! Now I can go visit my friend and we can go out and have a few drinks!" Or "Great! Now I can hang out here and read or meditate.". Now you're in a place where every possible outcome leads to success because the definition of success has changed completely, according to YOUR wishes.

I think this is your answer. The point is to have options and not have women as your purpose. For women it's about finding a women you truly like and have chemistry with. It doesn't matter what society considers to be a quality women. What do you consider to be a quality women?