The traps of the 20's and how to be a guaranteed HB8

[Aristippus]

Playher Man said: "Most men today have no problem flushing their lives and fortunes away to avoid being left without a woman."

What's even worse is in many cases they flush their lives and fortunes away to avoid being left without a woman and are STILL left without a woman after the divorce.

Don Juan on the Bayou said: "I am totally not interested in being a white knight provider. I'm also not interested in being flashy trying to impress people. I'm more interested in building the pile bigger and building an empire. So I guess no women for me eh?"

I've known plenty of men that didn't have a fancy car or lots of money that had lots of women after them. Money won't necessarily get you women and the danger is if you are depending on money to get them, you're either going to attract a gold-digger right from the start or you will be taken for a ride and not a fun one.

Most men that are depending on their money to attract women lack in the area of knowing how to handle themselves and women. Their attitude is wrong, and they go through the minefield of dating with an inferior mindset. I say minefield because when your thinking is wrong, then dating will truly be a minefield, even if it seems nice at first, you will be like a blind man with a cane walking through a minefield of gold-diggers and low quality women and these types will be more than happy to keep up a nice act until they sink their claws into you.

In fact, most of these types lose the act and get into their ugly behaviors rather quickly, but with the wrong attitudes, many men simply feel lucky to have a woman interested in them and will tolerate their garbage. If anything, you should understate your wealth. Live nice but don't flash around your money. Let that be hidden and meet women that love you for who you are. I think you've got that part right. Thinking that you won't get women without money is the wrong mindset. I'm telling you this because from experience, I've found that not only is it wrong, but it's DEAD WRONG.

The beauty is, you can protect yourself and your wealth and still have plenty of women. Your attitude and appearance will do more for a woman than anything else. By appearance I don't mean getting plastic surgery if you're not super-handsome. I mean that whatever looks you have genetically can be enhanced simply by good style and grooming. Combine that with a good attitude and realize that you are a man of worth and women will flock to you.

 

[Zarky]

Here are 2 more:

4) Stay out of jail
5) Don't die

Serious

 

[zinc4]

Yeah saving money is important...but so is living it up and enjoying your 20s.....you only get one 20s era so to speak..it is a time when you are still really young and fresh to a lot of stuff in life in general....save and live it up at the same time......wasted time is just as if not more valuable than money...and not enjoying life in your 20s is a huge waste IMO. It just aint quite the same when you hit 30s.

 

[backbreaker]

at 22 the first real vacation i ever took as an adult was taking my 2 best friends with me to six flags over texas. we had a blast but i mean, that's **** i do now just when I'm bored around the house. at the end of the year the wife and iare going to japan. that's a fvcking vacation. that's the type of "fun" you an have when you do what you are supposed to do in life.

fvck "living it up" going to clubs 2-3 nights a week getting drunk thats not fun that's bieng a drone at least tom e.


it's funny i am a sponser in NA and yesterday i had one of my sponsees in my car taking him somewhere and we were talking about life and I brought him by my house to have dinner with me and my wife and my son because he just got out of jail and he doesn't have very much food and i kinda like the guy so I invited him over for dinner. anyway I live in a pretty nice neighboorhood andi have a pretty nice crib and he was like man this is nice i want to live like this

i told him exact words, "no one in this neighboorhood got to live in this neighborhood by using short term thinking".

 

[switch]

need more threads like this one and less threads by zarky

 

[PlayHer Man]

Yeah saving money is important...but so is living it up and enjoying your 20s.....you only get one 20s era so to speak..it is a time when you are still really young and fresh to a lot of stuff in life in general....save and live it up at the same time......wasted time is just as if not more valuable than money...and not enjoying life in your 20s is a huge waste IMO. It just aint quite the same when you hit 30s.

This is true. Its really about balance. As a man it takes very little to have fun in your 20's. As long as you socialize, travel a little and f*ck lots of girls.. you should be fine. This is the best decade to travel because once you're close to 30 a lot of your friends will be committed or fathers and you won't be able to go crazy with your friends like you used to. Also, hangovers get worse and last longer.

Just don't get married, spawn mini-me's, accumulate large amounts of debt or blow all your money on material possessions.

 

[CostaDeSol]

...that's the type of "fun" you an have when you do what you are supposed to do in life.

...

fvck "living it up" going to clubs 2-3 nights a week getting drunk thats not fun that's bieng a drone at least tom e.

...

i told him exact words, "no one in this neighboorhood got to live in this neighborhood by using short term thinking".

I have to agree with backbreaker on this one again.

although I do think that all work and no play makes me a dull person. I just think you should be moderate about how much "fun/partying" you have.

 

[zinc4]

yes, travelling and seeing the world and lot's of socializing is best in your 20s IMO...if you weren't able to really travel in your 20s then i have to say you missed out on a lot...and i am not talking about just taking a one or 2 week trip to one location i am talking about moving around and living in various foreign counties...there is nothing like seeing the world and meeting people from all over right after you get out of college.....or during for that matter for the exchange students out there.....

 

[Aristippus]

I'm enjoying myself as much as I was in my 20's, if not more. I always wanted to go to Europe but didn't actually go until in my 30's. My 20's were good but I think my 30's have been even better. I didn't make lots of money but I avoided all of the traps so with a little bit of imagination and a little discipline, you can make your money go very far and enjoy living well on little.

I remember being able to go to 2 or 3 different places a night and not paying a cover charge, simply by finding good places that don't charge cover. Or starting at 1 or 2 places that charge no cover, then ending at a place that might charge a cover charge. Or doing something that costs money one weekend and doing something free the next. If I went to a club or bar one weekend, the following weekend I might go hiking with friends.

I also, for the majority of my 20's and all of my 30's, have not had a car payment (Car? Yes. Payment? No.). I might have rent to pay but no mortgage. And when you have no mortgage the landlord is responsible for the property taxes and any repairs, etc etc. People get mortgages and think that it's the same as paying rent. Not really. You have other expenses associated with maintaining a home that you otherwise wouldn't have. And you're tied down.

I avoided marriage and unwanted pregnancy while still having options with women. I bought nice things but found bargains. You can shop around and find good deals without sacrificing on quality. Also, if you take care of what you own, it will last a long time before having to replace it. Or replace what is necessary. My computer looks as good as new. When it came time to upgrade, I kept my monitor and bought a refurbished computer tower. Costs a fraction of what it would to buy a new computer with monitor. You'd never know I had a refurbished tower. It looks like new (and I bought it 4 years ago) and I made sure and got one that performed well for what I use it for. My needs haven't changed so I haven't had to upgrade.

If you don't spend the highest price for stuff, then you can use your money to enjoy great experiences. That's how I was able to go to Europe. I didn't have this debt and that debt and this payment and that obligation. It allowed me to have a good life and do what I want by not overextending what money I did make.

 

[goundra]

if you'll just get a 3rd world woman to help with the money compilation (for 5 years, then watch out) and get a vasectomy early on, and learn to invest in low cost, multi tenant "flophouses", basically, you can be WAY ahead of the game by age 26 or so. Freeze some sperm if you think your genes are so valuable, but only have kids that you WANT to have, and only with the woman you WANT as their mother, and only after you have a TON of money, as in at least 1/2 mill per kid that you want to have, well invested. You can have 50 or more wonderful years of adulthood, if you'll just be careful with your first 30 years of life, money making, investing, and relationships ( the 13 years after age 17 or so).

 

[PlayHer Man]

I'm enjoying myself as much as I was in my 20's, if not more. I always wanted to go to Europe but didn't actually go until in my 30's. My 20's were good but I think my 30's have been even better. I didn't make lots of money but I avoided all of the traps so with a little bit of imagination and a little discipline, you can make your money go very far and enjoy living well on little.

I remember being able to go to 2 or 3 different places a night and not paying a cover charge, simply by finding good places that don't charge cover. Or starting at 1 or 2 places that charge no cover, then ending at a place that might charge a cover charge. Or doing something that costs money one weekend and doing something free the next. If I went to a club or bar one weekend, the following weekend I might go hiking with friends.

I also, for the majority of my 20's and all of my 30's, have not had a car payment (Car? Yes. Payment? No.). I might have rent to pay but no mortgage. And when you have no mortgage the landlord is responsible for the property taxes and any repairs, etc etc. People get mortgages and think that it's the same as paying rent. Not really. You have other expenses associated with maintaining a home that you otherwise wouldn't have. And you're tied down.

I avoided marriage and unwanted pregnancy while still having options with women. I bought nice things but found bargains. You can shop around and find good deals without sacrificing on quality. Also, if you take care of what you own, it will last a long time before having to replace it. Or replace what is necessary. My computer looks as good as new. When it came time to upgrade, I kept my monitor and bought a refurbished computer tower. Costs a fraction of what it would to buy a new computer with monitor. You'd never know I had a refurbished tower. It looks like new (and I bought it 4 years ago) and I made sure and got one that performed well for what I use it for. My needs haven't changed so I haven't had to upgrade.

If you don't spend the highest price for stuff, then you can use your money to enjoy great experiences. That's how I was able to go to Europe. I didn't have this debt and that debt and this payment and that obligation. It allowed me to have a good life and do what I want by not overextending what money I did make.

Yup.. that’s how you play the game. Most people are sheep and do whatever is “popular”. But what most people fail to realize is what’s “popular” is usually ALSO what’s good for business.

If you can convince people that having the latest and greatest toy will make their life complete, well, it sells a lot of toys.

Materialism is more than a shallow form of living or thought. It's also financially crippling. Yet most people in America are heavily in debt for material things, hoping that a fancy car or a new gadget will make them happy and impress their friends and provide them with status in the pack. :crackup:

Better to do things than own things overall. Most things you own end up forgotten and gathering dust eventually. So was it worth the money just to tell your friends: "look at me!" for a few weeks/months until the "newness" wears off? Certain things are better to own (like cars). But don't by stuff for the sake of status or showing off.

 

[49au]

I feel 10x better driving my new leased $60k BMW than I did driving my not-so-new car, that I was lucky to get $6k out of when I sold it.

It's all in your motive. I didn't upgrade for a woman; I did it because my new car is fast as fuk, and I can drive like a maniac. I enjoy sitting behind the steering wheel and commanding so much power. It makes driving fun again!

I really do NOT understand guys who make solid money, but are terrified of spending it (especially on themselves!). You can't take it with you.

I also don't understand guys who fault women for choosing men who obviously have money. It's the nature of things.

We choose them primarily for their beauty; they choose us primarily for our resources. I hold no illusions to the contrary.

Sure, there are a few hot girls out there who will settle with a broke guy, or a guy who is well-off yet tight-fisted. These girls, to put it simply, are retarded.

This mindset of, "If I obviously have money and a woman chooses to be with me, she only cares about my money" is about as beta as it gets. It's reminiscent of the fairy tale of unconditional love and romance, that so many men are quick to dismiss as fantasy on this forum. (And rightly so!) Who cares if she only cares about your money? Would you even give her a second thought if she wasn't hot and you didn't want to fuk her?

 

[Aristippus]

49au said: "Who cares if she only cares about your money?"

You will if she takes you to divorce court after you marry her thinking she cared about you when she only cared about your money. The idea that women care only about money and nothing else is a crock. I've known way too many people who didn't need money to have women. I'm not saying you can't enjoy it. And everyone has their own style. Just remember, there are a good amount of women that will gladly use you for your money, whether they are attracted to you or not. Then there are those that are attracted to you but will gladly be irresponsible with other people's money, including making demands, etc etc.

The idea is to use your money the way you want to and not the way other people, whose motives are not in your best interest, would have you spend your money. Enjoy it and have fun. Just beware of those who would gladly form a parasitic arrangement with you if you let them. Also, what is important to one person may not be important to the other. If fast cars are important to you, enjoy them. In my case, I might like a certain type of car, but not at the expense of being able to do other things. I can sacrifice on the car so that I can take a trip to Europe or so I can take several day or weekend trips a year. There was a recent 2-year stretch where me and my woman took about 12 weekend trips either to the beach or the mountains. Or to different towns or states, but within 4 or 5 hours drive. These were pretty inexpensive little vacations but they add variety to your life. I'll sacrifice owning a souped up sports car for that. Not that I can't appreciate it. You might enjoy the car more. We're all different.

 

[49au]

I basically agree with everything you said.

I think it's critical for any man to spend money on a competent attorney to draft a comprehensive prenuptial agreement that protects him. I will not enter into a marriage without one.

Wealth can also be hidden from women. She can know that you have money, but the extent you reveal to her is up to you. Even if you're married, there are ways to hide money.


And, I never said you can't get hot women without money - and that's especially true in the short term.

But you WILL have more high quality options, when your financial success is obvious. It's also indicative of ambition/power/drive/intelligence/discipline, all qualities that women value. And by "high quality", I mean genetically superior, hotter, younger, more socially connected, women. (And a woman's social abilities can be valuable to a man.) Not necessarily more "sweet and innocent" or "moral."

A gorgeous woman can easily go out and make $40k/yr on her own in some bullsh!t sales job. So why would she want to settle for a man who makes the same money she could on her own? Beauty is her greatest asset, and she knows it.

 

[goundra]

right on. corporations, especially Nevada corporations, can own propery "for" you, and it can very well stay hidden from some golddigger. Housing CAN be a wonderful investment, but it has to be BIG, OLD CHEAP, in the right area to rent out LOTS of little rooms, cheap. Then it can make 100% per year returns on your investment. With housing loans at 5% per year interest, the same level as the average inflation, you'd be nuts to pay off a 60k house in 1-2 years, after putting up 12k as a down payment, and spending 8k to alter/improve it as a "flophouse". take that 20k per year profit and get another such place, then another, and another. spread them out, not all in the same city or even the same state. This is the way to invest, not some stocks in companies that you can't ever really kmow about, much less get warned about what they are going to do! It doesn't take long at all to have MUCH more income this way, than making a silly 3% per year on CD's, after tax, with a million $ invested in those pcs of paper!

 

[SteR]

I've known plenty of men that didn't have a fancy car or lots of money that had lots of women after them. Money won't necessarily get you women and the danger is if you are depending on money to get them, you're either going to attract a gold-digger right from the start or you will be taken for a ride and not a fun one.

Most men that are depending on their money to attract women lack in the area of knowing how to handle themselves and women. Their attitude is wrong, and they go through the minefield of dating with an inferior mindset. I say minefield because when your thinking is wrong, then dating will truly be a minefield, even if it seems nice at first, you will be like a blind man with a cane walking through a minefield of gold-diggers and low quality women and these types will be more than happy to keep up a nice act until they sink their claws into you.

In fact, most of these types lose the act and get into their ugly behaviors rather quickly, but with the wrong attitudes, many men simply feel lucky to have a woman interested in them and will tolerate their garbage. If anything, you should understate your wealth. Live nice but don't flash around your money. Let that be hidden and meet women that love you for who you are. I think you've got that part right. Thinking that you won't get women without money is the wrong mindset. I'm telling you this because from experience, I've found that not only is it wrong, but it's DEAD WRONG.

The beauty is, you can protect yourself and your wealth and still have plenty of women. Your attitude and appearance will do more for a woman than anything else. By appearance I don't mean getting plastic surgery if you're not super-handsome. I mean that whatever looks you have genetically can be enhanced simply by good style and grooming. Combine that with a good attitude and realize that you are a man of worth and women will flock to you.

This is something I've really started to notice as of late. I don't think having wealth does much for attraction other that grabbing the attention of gold-diggers and/or women who want to marry you. I think it does very little for sexual attraction.

I know it's preached a lot around these forums that men should work hard on their careers etc but I think it should be strongly stressed that this alone won't really help your situation with girls if you're not already good at dealing with them. I mean it's great to have money, don't get me wrong, but amassing wealth with the idea that you'll suddenly become a chick magnet is an illusion... at least this is what I've noticed from my experiences.

 

[backbreaker]

BB I now understand why you have the drama in your life that you do.


There is a danger in mixing people who have something to lose, and those who have nothing to lose. Sure this guy may be on a path to fixing himself.....but if he is recently out of jail, I consider it a big mistake to bring a person like that around my life, simply because I have nothing to gain and everything to lose.

I sure hope that doesn't come back to bite you at some point. It's best to let those people prove they have truly recovered before you bring them that close to home. I have seen way too many examples otherwise.

I have to. this is how I stay clean and sober. the drama that i put up with from time to time if i posted it you wouldn't believe it. but for me to stay clean and i've almost been clean for a decade now i have to give it back and show other addicts that hey there is a better way

the thing is, i was that guy 8 years ago. not broke but i was just as much of an addict i was just as tore down and beat down and someone was there for me. that's what NA is about.

and there are a few that are still clean. that makes it all worth while to me.

 

[backbreaker]

nevermind

 

[DJ Bax]

I really like this thread, more young guys like me need to look at this. Another thing to add to the list is not to start smoking cigs.

 

[backbreaker]

I really like this thread, more young guys like me need to look at this. Another thing to add to the list is not to start smoking cigs.

that's a good one. someone earlier said go to jail and that's one as well. felony is a killer