The Trap of Sosuave

[SELF-MASTERY]

I had sex on monday at work, in a conference room:woo:

 

[john_1234]

i relate to what q-unit quoted from mtv. from my experience, i was too intimidated to approach 8's and above when i first started improving myself. i wasn't doin fat-f****, the girls i were getting with were in the five to seven range, definitely f***able. now that i'm more experienced, i've been hitting up the eights and above and i'm paying no attention to the fives/sevens i've been practicing on. unfortunately, i haven't been getting anywhere with the eights and up and thus i've been on a dry spell. i strongly feel that if i keep doing what i'm doing, i'll eventually score; but if i don't get anything within the next couple of months, i'm probably going to go back to the fives/sevens.

 

[Sexual]

A thought... Oxide...

I became that man***** because once I got to that peak of interest, I kept going because I ran out of better game and couldn't get the satisfaction of a 7.5-8 that would fuel my ego.

So.... here you are in a place where you can't refine your game since you only see these amazing 9's ever so often, and the chances of the old "let me get your number" and call her up for a date thing is so remote for a normal DJ, and since you barely ever come across many you can't develop game on them from always becoming intimidated.

Now here I am with a girlfriend, my game probably sucks from being out of use, and I find no interest in most women I see except ones that don't even give a guy a second look in their day to day travels probably to see their ugly ass boyfriend.

Is our only answer to strive for money and power to full that void in our life that aches for endless 9-10's? Another thought, are these guys like Leonardo Dicaprio truly happy with their goddesses or do they still want more?

 

[escobar04]

I know what most of ya sayin

ever since I found out about this site my game has imrpoved big time

...but with all my new knowledge all I seem to do is improve myself

I turned down some dates just 'cos I had to go to the gym to get a six-pack to get more girls

but I already have girls to date, however, I still run to the gym and stuff like that

I'm getting so big headed lately that it isnt good for me anymore, all I do is for myself and only

p.s. I've had sex about a month ago, but that wasnt even planned, just an "accident" in a way

 

[BLUEox117]

Originally posted by Sexual
A thought... Oxide...

I became that man***** because once I got to that peak of interest, I kept going because I ran out of better game and couldn't get the satisfaction of a 7.5-8 that would fuel my ego.

So.... here you are in a place where you can't refine your game since you only see these amazing 9's ever so often, and the chances of the old "let me get your number" and call her up for a date thing is so remote for a normal DJ, and since you barely ever come across many you can't develop game on them from always becoming intimidated.

Now here I am with a girlfriend, my game probably sucks from being out of use, and I find no interest in most women I see except ones that don't even give a guy a second look in their day to day travels probably to see their ugly ass boyfriend.

Is our only answer to strive for money and power to full that void in our life that aches for endless 9-10's? Another thought, are these guys like Leonardo Dicaprio truly happy with their goddesses or do they still want more?

If it was all about the women, i would be the first to make an army and take over the helpless world.

 

[Oxide]

Just a follow up:

What I have wrote about here still stands quite true in my own life. I am still picky as hell, however i believe i have majorly improved by actually going out there and daring to go after the super hot girls.

However, im telling you guys, those hot girls have been rough. We are talking girls who get "OMG YOUR sO HOT!!1" every ****ing day. Even though i havent laid one yet i have been close and more importanly i keep trying, just a matter of time now.

On the other note, i have become much more realistic about hooking up with regular girls. Although i refrain from throwing myself at them, when opportunity comes, and **most importanly** i feel like it, i will hook up with a girl. However, i do not usually turn them into fvckbuddies, i hit it once or twice and that releases sexual tension and holds me over for a month or two while im looking for better things.

Just a closer look at my life and progress. Again, to re-phraze - "Keep going for the best ones but if things arent going too good don't be afraid to come down a notch and hook up with regular chicks, just whatever you do, DO NOT GET STUCK AT THIS LEVEL. Always bounce back".

 

[House Rent]

Interesting thread. I just found this site, but I've been into the PUA community for about a year now. I dumped my ex-girlfreind about a year ago (HB9, but she cheated on me!) and realized that I had been in long-term relationships for 6 and a half of the last 7 years! Yikes!

Only a couple months of bachelorhood between these long-assed relationships (the last was two years), none of which "worked out", although I did at least increase the scale of looks of the women I was involved with. So I decided I really needed to be single for awhile, and not get roped into any LTR for some time.

Since I had only dated sporadically and breifly for so long, I realized I had lost a lot of my game, so I looked around for help. I got introduced to David Dangelo, who I think is a good introduction for most of this stuff. He excels at explaining the general mindset and inner-game issues. I read Neil Straus's book, which introduced me to some other theories. Mystery is great for working groups, though the whole magic thing I'd never use because I just think it's stupid. Same with palm reading and all that sh*t. Same for Ross Jefferies SS stuff - it may work but I just can't make myself learn all those long-ass scripts, and plus it just seems to entirely remove ME and my personality from the equation. I take a few elements from GWM, namely NEVER talking about sex but still exuding a sexual vibe, and some of the general mindset as well. I wouldn't reccommend "make the ho say no" as a mantra, however, esp. if you live in a small town or date anyone with FRIENDS...

Anyway, I stumbled onto this site and the "Weapons of Mass Seduction" posts by Mr. Fingers, which are actually some of the best material I've found anywhere, and for FREE! This has been a wild year, been working on improving myself and my game simutaneously, getting better on each.

Only problem is, I've been really, really, sick for the past month and a half. I got an inner-ear infection that took me out of the game (and jsut about everything else) while I recovered. I'm just now getting back out there, which is why I've turned back to the internet to get some new momentum. I'm in the same boat, I recently turned down some girls that I could've had but weren't up to my standards, but now my game is so rusty I can't land the ones I want.

I've closed two phone numbers in the past two weeks, the first I've done since getting over this ear thing, and niether girl called me back! Damn, I might have to go back to DJ boot camp all over again.

Anyway, my advice: don't get sick.

 

[Captain Popular]

Originally posted by Woodhaven
bump

i love to bump female hotties...bump bump bump!! "ahhhhhhh.....im done, ohh your not sorry about your luck."

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by Oxide
Just a follow up:

What I have wrote about here still stands quite true in my own life. I am still picky as hell, however i believe i have majorly improved by actually going out there and daring to go after the super hot girls.

However, im telling you guys, those hot girls have been rough. We are talking girls who get "OMG YOUR sO HOT!!1" every ****ing day. Even though i havent laid one yet i have been close and more importanly i keep trying, just a matter of time now.

On the other note, i have become much more realistic about hooking up with regular girls. Although i refrain from throwing myself at them, when opportunity comes, and **most importanly** i feel like it, i will hook up with a girl. However, i do not usually turn them into fvckbuddies, i hit it once or twice and that releases sexual tension and holds me over for a month or two while im looking for better things.

Just a closer look at my life and progress. Again, to re-phraze - "Keep going for the best ones but if things arent going too good don't be afraid to come down a notch and hook up with regular chicks, just whatever you do, DO NOT GET STUCK AT THIS LEVEL. Always bounce back".

didn't even read most of the other replies... to many ****ty AFC's on this site these days, but I thought I'd update too

I am still doing my usual deal with the HB7's and below, just making sure I stay sharp so when the HB9+s show up, it's not that big of a deal.

I have found the places to go to find these SHB's but ****, the ****ing juice is loose on that one, there are swarms of other AMOGs there... I'm talking GC model caliber guys wearing 200$ shirts but there are SOO many SHB's is ridiculous. I go there every Sat night (I try t0) since it's very good training grounds. I do my thing and warm up with girls I don't care about (hb7s and below) then by 2-3 warm ups I'm usually good to go and can start appraoching the SHB's. Things have been going very well and are always looking better however I am still making excuses to game mixed sets (it can be intimidating even though I'm a big guy b/c the dudes at these places are like football players) but I am slowly getting better b/c I have to. It seems all the girls I want are either in huge groups of girls or already talking with dudes

My standars for a LTR are still really really high but my standards to F-close a girl have gone down some and I attribute this directly to stopping my masterbation. Dude try doing this ****. Don't jackoff for 1-2 weeks... I am restarting since I simply could not resist myself last night but before that I lasted 1 week... by day 4 I felt like a rabid animal releashed from its cage... it can get annoying though b/c it eventually takes over all of your thoughts

you may ask wtf? why would I want to do that? it would just make me want to fclose hb7's and below. This is true but it also makes you REALLY want to go out and sarge and almost forces you to do it even if you try to excuse your way out of it. Set a rule for yourself that you can't masterbate until you fclose a hb7 and I guarantee by the end of the week you will have done so and have been glad you did

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

The Trap of SoSuave or any Love site is that they HOPE to find the "truth" in the world. Some guide. Some light in the darkness. They seek an answer. The one crystallizing, missing piece that will help them make sense, give them direction, and a sense of self and purpose.

Lots of posts are dedicated to blaming the site, or congratulating, but why not point the finger at yourself when you fail or succeed?

Each guy takes what he wants from here, and there is no self-evident, universal truth about LIFE or WOMEN that you will find here, or locked inside the pages deep, created sometime ago by Pook, or Anti-Dump, or anybody.

It's in your mind. That's it.

The trap of sosuave is that men never unlock it. They lead a life on a path separate from what it is that's locked inside their mind and hearts.

They desire to be accepted socially, to lay hb10's, and forsake their true path. Or they forsake laying a few good girls here and there for pride, vanity, or their own ego's, just to FEEL the power of NEXTING a girl.

Every guy gets here by a different road or path. Some are dumped by an X. Some have a cheating X and don't know what to do. Some guys have never been laid and want to. Some guys want to lay more chicks and "up" their game. Each differing path reflects a differently desired outcome, yet 1 single source; happiness and contentedness.

They long for peace and control in THIS area of their life, because mostly, it's the one ALWAYS in flux.

And it always will be. There's no doubt there. Men press on and accept certain things in belief that somehow the problems will go away. That a LESS dramatic girl will arrive. That a mere copy of you will arrive with tits and an azz, and have the logical control we exemplify. Not happening boys. Never.

No, the Trap of SoSuave is that guys seek a truth, just like they seek in life. It may not be evident on the surface, but this is why MOST guys have posts creeping into the thousands, and several thousands. This is why NOOBS end up getting very HIGH with their post total, and spend countless hours here. Seeking the truth.

It's the great tribulation of life. Seeking. Never settling. Always going somewhere "other than here." Never happy with oneself. And yet, if you're not happy with where you are now, how will ever be happy with where you end up or with who you become?

Happiness is an eternal choice, it's not in what you own, who you date, where you live, or who your friends. That's only social contexts of the mind, by which your seeking mind continues to put you in pain. You've attached your definition of happiness to things outside yourself. Just like we do with love.

We pervert the meaning of love. Love encompasses all. Selfish love or infatuation says "I love this person BECAUSE." And then you provide reasons. But if the reasons change or fade, so does Love. So how can it be Love if those reasons FOR love can change? Love is widespread acceptance of a total thing or existence, not PREFERENCES for 1 thing or 1 person for any REASON. But people, women, guys, are sold this bill of goods with no means of payment in the foreseeable future.

So the bain Of SoSuave and ANY love site that has you biting for more is seeking a truth that does not exist. Guys come here and totally shread who they are to pieces, and sometimes, leave worse off because they can't make the change they want. Other guys come, make a change, and wake up realizing they never had to change to get girls. Only to awaken themselves that GIRLS exist and that GIRLS exist who will like them specifically if they just gave it a shot.

This is why guys always return to ask questions, big or small, smart or dumb, wise or foolish. They seek a truth. As if the woman will become perfect, or the knowledge will be perfect, or as if they will get to a place of Perfection and Settling. It won't happen.

Many enter the game for this reason, but as it was noted, the GAME IS an end in itself. It provides the player with what he seeks, the endless quest of fulfillment and settling, never to be found. That I can guarantee. Because the players and participants always change. The rules change. The landscape changes. But you never change. It's an endless conquest, like getting on a hamster wheel, believing someday you will beat the wheel and get your carrot. It never happens, though.

When you drop the pretenses of perfection and seeking, you can get on with REAL progress. But it's amidst this turmoil of searching that you can never move ahead of where you are. You're stuck, because you've entered the cycle of the game. There's no getting out.

------------------------------

The best way I can compare the "mental mind game" this plays on a person was a little mental debate I was having of my own concerning finances and income.

There are those ambitious one's of us who seek to make fortunes, but initially limit ourselves based on what our parents make. Even the great Jim Rohn had the same "guilt" over it. He'd been raised in poverty and obscurity, and when he began making serious money, more per month than his family, a certain amount of guilt overcame him and he couldn't reveal how much he made to his parents.

I would even admit some guilt over it. Being half the age of my father, and making more and increasingly more than him because a guilty feeling. Especially because I went to college. But guess what?

It isn't about AGE? Or Job occupation. It's about VALUE in the market place. And if you're doing your job, and doing it well, and people want to pay you, then your value is high. That is why you get paid. But still, the mental battle is there if you're not from a priviledged background, or you begin making more than your father before you cross 30. Of course parents want the best for us, but still, when you return home for the holidays knowing you make more, and will likely make more in a few years than your parents, it does initially send waves through you. But it's a mental game, and to free you of it, we need to break a few IMPROPER thought patterns that lead to negative actions. Because until you do, your ceiling is set too low.

The same applies here, with dating, and the game. And women. Alot of guys HAVE wrong thought patterns. I do alot of thinking, and I sat down after having had sex and thought..."I have a lot of hopes and dreams. I do alot of talking and thinking. And here I am thrusting myself INTO possibly having a kid should anything go wrong. Am I ready for that responsibility with THIS person?"

It's over thinking a sitution, but I enjoy it. And quite honestly, REALITY sets you straight. Sex IS sexy, but it's also risky far BEYOND the scope of disease. It has the added benefit of emotional baggage as well as a possible child. And what then? You have 9 months to get your shyt together. Lots of guys talk of NOT wanting gf's, yet they hope and pray the Trojan company didn't send them the 1% of the lot of condoms that MIGHT fail.

During college, that happened to a friend of mine. He fvcked the young (senior in h.s.) friend of our's. She was up visiting 1 night, got tremendously bombed, and slept with my buddy. They used a condom, but his luck was that they'd always break. Whether he was stupid about putting them on or just unlucky at buying them, he always had broken ones. And this one night fling ended up resulting in this young girl's pregnancy. Because of their joint stupidity, they both agreed abortion was the right thing for THEM, and so she told him it was like $800, and so his piece was $400. Only, it was $400, or maybe 300, and she had him pay in full, or made some profit. The girl BECAME a total bytch, despite the fact she was good enough to fvck that night.

That was but 1 case. ALOT more guys get LUCKY after sex. They're not lucky before sex. That's just natural. The luck in sex COMES after sex is over. Because you never know if it's broken. Who she's been with. If she's on or off the pill (lots of girls lie, or don't take it regularly enough to be fully effective). Lots of girls just want to be pregnant now, despite the growing # of women in the workforce. Emotions do crazy things, and they don't have the benefit of CONTROLLING them like we do.


Food for Thought.




A-unit

 

[Oxide]

Good Post A-Unit. I never really thought about this, but you are absolutely correct. I am here because i am searching for the truth and infromation. Not just about girls, but life, experiences and wealth. I am in a race for knoweldge, but we all know that "The only thing i know is that i know nothing". I really dont want to be stuck in this cycle forever, but i know that there are plenty of things i must discover, and a genius does learn from mistakes of others.

It's the great tribulation of life. Seeking. Never settling. Always going somewhere "other than here." Never happy with oneself. And yet, if you're not happy with where you are now, how will ever be happy with where you end up or with who you become?

In order to understand this quote you must understand this one -

"Girlfriend? I need a girlfriend like a fish needs a bicycle"

At times i think about all my friends. Most of them have had long term relationships. The longest I've ever been with a girl was 2 months...and i didnt feel committed at all. I feel perfectly fine without a girl, however yes, at times an idea of someone cool to spend time with does cross my mind, but the sheer reality of a deep commitment doesnt appeal to me at the least.




If you get one thing out of this thread, i want you to remember this:

It's over thinking a sitution, but I enjoy it. And quite honestly, REALITY sets you straight. Sex IS sexy, but it's also risky far BEYOND the scope of disease. It has the added benefit of emotional baggage as well as a possible child. And what then? You have 9 months to get your shyt together. Lots of guys talk of NOT wanting gf's, yet they hope and pray the Trojan company didn't send them the 1% of the lot of condoms that MIGHT fail.

This is as clear as it gets. The lucky ones are the ones who have sex without any aftermath. After i've finished having sex with the 5th girl in my life i said to myself - "I've been very lucky so far. I think i should stop for awhile"



Here is the thing that gets me. I've heard many times from older guys that "While in college, fvck as many as you can". I want to scream everytime i hear this. Do you realize if this was the case I would be a wh0re with STD's and probably a father? (not exaggerating by any means)

I dont want to look back when i am an old man and say "Damn, i should have hooked up with all those sluts". But then again, those are probably the guys who are bitter because they didnt do anything or are stuck in a bad marriage.

A-unit, what are your thoughts on all this?

 

[white_hype]

A unit- thanks for taking the time to write a novel (I actually read it); however, I must disagree with a large portion of what you wrote. Also - try not to ramble, a lot of that had nothing to do with the thread topic

 

[Page]

I agree that it is quite easy to take the aim-high advice a little bit too far. You begin to look for someone who is EXACTLY what you want, and you never find it and you end up alone, pursuing something that does not exist. In the meantime, you have passed over many decent (but not drop-dead gorgeous) chicks that you could have had under other circumstances if your standards had not been so impossibly high.

Also, you can overdo the self-improvement as well, to the point where you appear to be so perfect that people are put off by you b/c the image you convey is almost artificial due to its perfection. The key to self improvement is to know where to stop, b/c the more perfect you become, the less human you are. I've actually been embracing my flaws as of late.

 

[Oxide]

So guys, here is the progress:

Like 3 years ago I thought hot girls were just so out of my league it was incredible. My only thoughts of getting them was when I was jerking off at night.
I was meeting girls but most of the ones who were interested were not good looking.

About 2 years ago, I started figuring some stuff out, working out, going out. I was meeting girls and some normal girls liked me but the hot girls - i still felt they were out of my league even though i believed there were no leagues.

About a year ago I was getting signs from cute girls. I was figuring stuff out still.. and even though I knew I should treat the super hot girls like normal girls I still felt they were unattainable or I had to work really hard.

It all kind of snapped into place about a month and a half ago.

I saw this really hot preppy type of girl in a bar and thought "wow, she is hot"
Next thing I know, my friend is asking her to come back to his place... I am kind of chuckling because I think "no way dude..no way this is gonna happen"

Well, of course she says "yes" because lady luck is a nasty b!tch and wants to teach me a lesson.
The girl comes back with us, and my friend hooks up with her. I am pretty astonished right then.

As days go by, she gets to know me, and invited me to hang out with herself and some of her hot friends. Of course I think this is awesome and go and drink and have fun being myself. Everything is cool.

Then I meet some more cool people and I am feeling even better.

There is this popular downtown nightclub we go to once in awhile. Last time I was there was this summer, and while i have pretty good times there I usually dont get the hot girls, i get cute and/or slutty ones.

Well I went last night. i can't even describe it. It was like a whole different thing. I guess putting on 30lbs and getting the mindset that hot girls are just like the normal ones and still sit down to sh!t really hit home there... I had 2 really hot girls sittin on my lap as I was flirting with them. I was dancing and chatting up hot girls. I saw the girls checking me out openly and it was AWESOME.

So what can I advise you guys to get to this level? Get to know a hot girl. Become friends. Add her on facebook and HANG OUT WITH HER FREQUENTLY. Then you will meet her friends, and DO NOT TRY TO BANG THEM JUST YET. Just feel it out, see that there is really nothing that much different with the hot chicks.

Good luck to ya'll. I just know that 3 years ago when I saw a hot girl, I would mutter "Someday". Now I see a hot girl and say "Today! Right now!"

 

[Ricky]

Amazing how great posts like these get resurrected. There is alot of food for thought in this one!