Craig Reeves
Master Don Juan
I've decided to come back and put together a post because I feel like this forum is in desperate need of some sound advice. Now I'm not going to mention names but to be honest, I've seen a lot of very false advice lately, so I thought I'd come and shed some light on things.
Most guys here are looking for girlfriends. They aren't really looking just to get laid (which is a good thing, btw) and are actually looking for a relationship with some meaning with a girl, but have not had much luck. I've devised what I feel are the top 10 reasons you probably don't have a girlfriend. More than likely, if you're frusterated with your love life, one of these apply to you. I believe that knowing what the problem is is the first step in solving it.
So here we go...
10. You're Pursuing the Wrong Women
People don't talk about this one much. However, it is one of the more common causes of lonliness, and could very well be the reason you have no woman in your life. You are pursuing women that you *know* aren't compatible with you. Women you *know* are in no position for a relationship. Women you know for a fact will only hurt you. A lot of this can come from not know what you want, which is actually something else I'll mention later on. You want a relationship with a woman yet you're only going to nightclubs and pursuing women that are only interested in a one-night hookup, or you're looking for a sexy fling yet you're pursuing women in churches or yoga classes. You have to know what you want and what you don't want or you're going to keep on pursuing women that will not get you what you want. Remember guys, if you want a girlfriend, the girlfriend you are purusing has to be girlfriend material, interested and available.
9. You Spend Too Much Time On Women That Are Off-Limits
You need to be pursuing women that are pursuable. There is no point in purusing women that are taken. I don't care how much she likes you. You're only setting yourself up to fail. There is also no use in pursuing women you know it wouldn't work with. For instance, women that are too old or too young. There is no use as a 25 year old to pursue a 15 year old, for instance. Many guys walk away broken hearted because they weren't able to *steal* another man's wife. Listen, if you don't want other guys to steal your women from you, don't go around trying to steal women from other guys. That is a very low form of game, and will cost you dearly if you keep playing it.
8. You Avoid Taking Risks Because You Don't Think It's Going to Work
This is very common. Many times you don't want to try something new simply because of the fact that it's new. You read the books, you go to the seminars and workshops, but for some reason you don't choose to do them. And WHY? What I've found over the years is that anything you learn that involves risking rejection, you are CONVINCED that it will not work. OR...at least not work for YOU. The point here though is that you're convinced that *nothing* is going to work that involves risking rejection. Therefore, you've devoted your entire life to seeking out a system that completely removes the risk of rejection or suspicion from women that you're "gaming" them, or "using some kind of technique" on them. The problem, however, is that there is no such system and there never will be. You are just going to have to realize that no matter what, the risk factors for this game still exist. No matter how much training you get for instance, skateboarding will always be a dangerous sport. Apply that same principle to dating.
7. You're Scared of Getting Hurt
This one is closely related to being afraid of taking risks, except In other words, you're afraid of rejection. You have a low tolerance for emotional pain and you would rather be lonely than deal with rejection or being blown off from time to time, which is inevitable if you're going to be playing this game. The problem is this, though: If you don't pursue a woman romantically, the answer will always be no. The long-term pain of not having a woman even though you really want her is much worse than the short-term pain of rejection.
6. One Bad Experience Stopped You In Your Tracks
One reason you may be lonely is that you allowed one bad experience to stop you from gaming women. You carried this event with you, probably blaming yourself for what happened, believing that doing what you're taught could cause you to go through what you went through again. You have allowed one event to traumatize your success. If you let others' actions control the way you live your life, you're never going to acheive the success that you want.
5. You Don't Know How to Form Relationships
Perhaps you may not seem to have a problem meeting women, but you do have a problem with forming relationships with them that could lead to something deeper. You've probably been put in the friend zone so many times, or you've tried to pursue something romantic with a promising target but you only have it blow up in your face. You just can't "get the formula" for getting a girlfriend, mainly because you don't know how relationships are formed between men and women; what has to happen from first meeting her all the way to a romantic relationship. Most of what the media, and what others have told you has been very wrong, btw. This is completely understandable, because if you are never taught, you'll never learn. Once you learn how to go from one step to the next, things will work out much better for you in the furutre.
4. You're Mad That it's Not Easy
Another reason why you might be lonely is that you are out of touch with reality. You secretly wish this game were easier, and because it isn't, you've decided that you were just not going to play it. You look at other guys and they're all having fun, dating women and forming relationships, making it look so easy. You then look at yourself and how difficult it comes to you. Your resentment for the game caused you to grow in hatred for it. Causing you not to want to have anything to do with it. Unfortunately though, it isn't about loving the game, it's about realizing that unless you're playing it, you will never get a girlfriend.
3. You Don't Consistently Use The Materials That You Are Taught
If you keep on doing what you've always done, you're going to keep on getting what you've always gotten. I know of so many guys that can read books, listen to CD's and DVD's and go to every workshop. However, once they get home, they do NOT use the materials they were taught. So many guys just walk up to women with no plan or no idea what they're going to do or why. They instinctively know what works, but they just do nothing. The only way to solve this problem is to fully realize that doing "normal" things simply just DOESN'T work! Doing NORMAL things will get you NORMAL results. And last time I checked, NORMAL doesn't equal Attraction.
2. You Don't Know What You Want
A wise man once said that if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time. This definitely rings true for women. You need to know what kind of relationships you are looking for with the women in your life or you're never going to have the kinds you want. Many guys wonder why they never landed that girl they had their eye on, and many times it's because they didn't really have their eyes on them at all and are just mad the girl got away. This constantly happened to me when I was first learning this stuff. It's very important to not only set goals on what kind of relationships you want with a girl, but also what you want from the girl. For instance, if you first meet a woman and you want to go home with her that night, there are going to be different steps that you take to get to that particular goal than if you were just trying to get her number. The point here is that you need to know exactly what it is you want from the women you interact with, that way you'll know what to do.
1. You Have No Social Life
Probably the most common cause of lonliness I know of is having no social life. Now, when I say "You Have No Social Life", I don't just mean that you don't have *a* social life. I also mean that you do not have the social life that you WANT to have. It is common knowledge that the women that pop up in your life is a direct result of the company that you keep. Notice how closely this relates to "You're pursuing the wrong women". In fact, notice how a lot of these reasons go hand in hand, by the way. Anyway, you very well could be pursuing the wrong women because the wrong women are the only women that in up making their way into your social circle. The rule of thumb is this. You need to have high standards about the people you hang out with. Stop hanging out with people you look down on or don't respect. You're not doing them a favor, and you certainly aren't doing *yourself* a favor. Don't hold on to unhealthy friendships. If you don't feel like they're as committed to the friendship as you are you need to cut them loose. If the people you hang around are causing you to fail, either because they're not good friends or they're people you'd rather be away from, or there's just no people at all, this is more than likely what is causing you not to have a girlfriend either.
Getting a girlfriend is about finding somebody that you connect with and being able to make her feel that sense of connection with you as well. Feel free to discuss these points...
Most guys here are looking for girlfriends. They aren't really looking just to get laid (which is a good thing, btw) and are actually looking for a relationship with some meaning with a girl, but have not had much luck. I've devised what I feel are the top 10 reasons you probably don't have a girlfriend. More than likely, if you're frusterated with your love life, one of these apply to you. I believe that knowing what the problem is is the first step in solving it.
So here we go...
10. You're Pursuing the Wrong Women
People don't talk about this one much. However, it is one of the more common causes of lonliness, and could very well be the reason you have no woman in your life. You are pursuing women that you *know* aren't compatible with you. Women you *know* are in no position for a relationship. Women you know for a fact will only hurt you. A lot of this can come from not know what you want, which is actually something else I'll mention later on. You want a relationship with a woman yet you're only going to nightclubs and pursuing women that are only interested in a one-night hookup, or you're looking for a sexy fling yet you're pursuing women in churches or yoga classes. You have to know what you want and what you don't want or you're going to keep on pursuing women that will not get you what you want. Remember guys, if you want a girlfriend, the girlfriend you are purusing has to be girlfriend material, interested and available.
9. You Spend Too Much Time On Women That Are Off-Limits
You need to be pursuing women that are pursuable. There is no point in purusing women that are taken. I don't care how much she likes you. You're only setting yourself up to fail. There is also no use in pursuing women you know it wouldn't work with. For instance, women that are too old or too young. There is no use as a 25 year old to pursue a 15 year old, for instance. Many guys walk away broken hearted because they weren't able to *steal* another man's wife. Listen, if you don't want other guys to steal your women from you, don't go around trying to steal women from other guys. That is a very low form of game, and will cost you dearly if you keep playing it.
8. You Avoid Taking Risks Because You Don't Think It's Going to Work
This is very common. Many times you don't want to try something new simply because of the fact that it's new. You read the books, you go to the seminars and workshops, but for some reason you don't choose to do them. And WHY? What I've found over the years is that anything you learn that involves risking rejection, you are CONVINCED that it will not work. OR...at least not work for YOU. The point here though is that you're convinced that *nothing* is going to work that involves risking rejection. Therefore, you've devoted your entire life to seeking out a system that completely removes the risk of rejection or suspicion from women that you're "gaming" them, or "using some kind of technique" on them. The problem, however, is that there is no such system and there never will be. You are just going to have to realize that no matter what, the risk factors for this game still exist. No matter how much training you get for instance, skateboarding will always be a dangerous sport. Apply that same principle to dating.
7. You're Scared of Getting Hurt
This one is closely related to being afraid of taking risks, except In other words, you're afraid of rejection. You have a low tolerance for emotional pain and you would rather be lonely than deal with rejection or being blown off from time to time, which is inevitable if you're going to be playing this game. The problem is this, though: If you don't pursue a woman romantically, the answer will always be no. The long-term pain of not having a woman even though you really want her is much worse than the short-term pain of rejection.
6. One Bad Experience Stopped You In Your Tracks
One reason you may be lonely is that you allowed one bad experience to stop you from gaming women. You carried this event with you, probably blaming yourself for what happened, believing that doing what you're taught could cause you to go through what you went through again. You have allowed one event to traumatize your success. If you let others' actions control the way you live your life, you're never going to acheive the success that you want.
5. You Don't Know How to Form Relationships
Perhaps you may not seem to have a problem meeting women, but you do have a problem with forming relationships with them that could lead to something deeper. You've probably been put in the friend zone so many times, or you've tried to pursue something romantic with a promising target but you only have it blow up in your face. You just can't "get the formula" for getting a girlfriend, mainly because you don't know how relationships are formed between men and women; what has to happen from first meeting her all the way to a romantic relationship. Most of what the media, and what others have told you has been very wrong, btw. This is completely understandable, because if you are never taught, you'll never learn. Once you learn how to go from one step to the next, things will work out much better for you in the furutre.
4. You're Mad That it's Not Easy
Another reason why you might be lonely is that you are out of touch with reality. You secretly wish this game were easier, and because it isn't, you've decided that you were just not going to play it. You look at other guys and they're all having fun, dating women and forming relationships, making it look so easy. You then look at yourself and how difficult it comes to you. Your resentment for the game caused you to grow in hatred for it. Causing you not to want to have anything to do with it. Unfortunately though, it isn't about loving the game, it's about realizing that unless you're playing it, you will never get a girlfriend.
3. You Don't Consistently Use The Materials That You Are Taught
If you keep on doing what you've always done, you're going to keep on getting what you've always gotten. I know of so many guys that can read books, listen to CD's and DVD's and go to every workshop. However, once they get home, they do NOT use the materials they were taught. So many guys just walk up to women with no plan or no idea what they're going to do or why. They instinctively know what works, but they just do nothing. The only way to solve this problem is to fully realize that doing "normal" things simply just DOESN'T work! Doing NORMAL things will get you NORMAL results. And last time I checked, NORMAL doesn't equal Attraction.
2. You Don't Know What You Want
A wise man once said that if you aim at nothing, you hit it every time. This definitely rings true for women. You need to know what kind of relationships you are looking for with the women in your life or you're never going to have the kinds you want. Many guys wonder why they never landed that girl they had their eye on, and many times it's because they didn't really have their eyes on them at all and are just mad the girl got away. This constantly happened to me when I was first learning this stuff. It's very important to not only set goals on what kind of relationships you want with a girl, but also what you want from the girl. For instance, if you first meet a woman and you want to go home with her that night, there are going to be different steps that you take to get to that particular goal than if you were just trying to get her number. The point here is that you need to know exactly what it is you want from the women you interact with, that way you'll know what to do.
1. You Have No Social Life
Probably the most common cause of lonliness I know of is having no social life. Now, when I say "You Have No Social Life", I don't just mean that you don't have *a* social life. I also mean that you do not have the social life that you WANT to have. It is common knowledge that the women that pop up in your life is a direct result of the company that you keep. Notice how closely this relates to "You're pursuing the wrong women". In fact, notice how a lot of these reasons go hand in hand, by the way. Anyway, you very well could be pursuing the wrong women because the wrong women are the only women that in up making their way into your social circle. The rule of thumb is this. You need to have high standards about the people you hang out with. Stop hanging out with people you look down on or don't respect. You're not doing them a favor, and you certainly aren't doing *yourself* a favor. Don't hold on to unhealthy friendships. If you don't feel like they're as committed to the friendship as you are you need to cut them loose. If the people you hang around are causing you to fail, either because they're not good friends or they're people you'd rather be away from, or there's just no people at all, this is more than likely what is causing you not to have a girlfriend either.
Getting a girlfriend is about finding somebody that you connect with and being able to make her feel that sense of connection with you as well. Feel free to discuss these points...
