The Stop Text-Initiating Experiment

[bigneil]

For those of you who have girls that text you every day, try this for the next week.

1) Don't initiate any conversations on any given day. Let her initiate, even if it means not communicating those day(s).

2) While you may respond to her text messages and calls, try to make sure she sends the last message each night also.

Summary: She will send the last message every night, and then she will double-text to send the first message the following day, and she will do this every day or you won't talk to her that day.

This seems to be the optimal amount of texting to maintain her high interest level. Also, this way no matter what she does to annoy you on a given day, since she will be initiating the next time you speak, you can just let whatever happened go without mentioning it and things will stay balanced.

 

[TheCWord]

I can confirm this works. I wish I'd done it more often when it counted, but that's how we learn, gents.

 

[rearea]

Or how about you text her when you feel like it and use all of this energy making up stupid rules to do other stuff. Quite silly.

The amount of overthinking done on this site is crazy.

 

[plate's_empty]

Or how about you text her when you feel like it and use all of this energy making up stupid rules to do other stuff. Quite silly.

The amount of overthinking done on this site is crazy.

LOL

The funny thing about some girls is they can never admit to themselves that they have rules and that they play games. Didn't you say something about never going to a guys house on the first three dates? Why not go to his house when you feel like it?

 

[Financed]

This is tough as every situation is different. I find it rather annoying haha. I just met a girl the other week, we exchanged numbers and she even text me that night. She initiated almost all of them and I didn't let the convo go on too long. Tried calling her once and she responded with a text. At that point I backed off because that put me off. She eventually stopped initiating. Did she lose interest? Did she get bored? Did she think I wasn't interested? Who knows and who cares.

 

[AmIAFC]

I'm down.

I rarely text anyway. Has been this way since I replaced my Blackberry and its ingenious QWERTY keyboard for touch-screen BS.

 

[visions]

LOL

The funny thing about some girls is they can never admit to themselves that they have rules and that they play games. Didn't you say something about never going to a guys house on the first three dates? Why not go to his house when you feel like it?

exactly. rearea is a troll. i asked her some legit questions but she ignored them

 

[VladPatton]

LOL

The funny thing about some girls is they can never admit to themselves that they have rules and that they play games. Didn't you say something about never going to a guys house on the first three dates? Why not go to his house when you feel like it?

Great catch, plate's_empty...


*Waiting for epic back pedaling*

 

[plate's_empty]

Thanks Vlad & Visions. Yeah, notice how she didn't respond. Easiest way to make her go away is to call her out on her BS, she can't handle it.

 

[Harvey_Poon]

Also, this way no matter what she does to annoy you on a given day, since she will be initiating the next time you speak, you can just let whatever happened go without mentioning it and things will stay balanced.

I disagree with this part above. If you keep letting a woman's problematic behavior just go, then you are going to have problems in your relationship further down the road. Her bad behavior will get worse, and she will eventually lose respect for you as a man.

 

[zekko]

Or how about you text her when you feel like it and use all of this energy making up stupid rules to do other stuff. Quite silly.

The amount of overthinking done on this site is crazy.

I actually agree with this.

Bigneil's suggestion is an interesting experiment from a scientific standpoint. But when it comes to real life I'm going to do what I want to. There's no chance that I'm going to be bombarding her with a bunch of messages that she doesn't reply to, I'm not that stupid. And I'm not a needy or desperate person, so I know I won't come across as such.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Or how about you text her when you feel like it and use all of this energy making up stupid rules to do other stuff. Quite silly.

The amount of overthinking done on this site is crazy.

What this guy said.

Besides.. Don't betas follow "rules" ?

 

[plate's_empty]

What this guy said.

Besides.. Don't betas follow "rules" ?

Yes, true, good point....BUT, for me, I don't know how many times in the pas I'd be sitting at home alone....no plates in sight, few glasses of scotch in my belly and here comes out the phone...... nothing worse than texting three different girls and getting three different excuses on why they can't come over.

Now that doesn't happen all the time but when it does it doesn't help my current plate spinning situation.

 

[bigneil]

I disagree with this part above. If you keep letting a woman's problematic behavior just go, then you are going to have problems in your relationship further down the road. Her bad behavior will get worse, and she will eventually lose respect for you as a man.

This is a much debated subject but my philosophy is:

1) Reward good behavior.
2) Ignore bad behavior.

Most of the time the stuff that is annoying is minor. If you're still angry about it when she writes back, then make her keep texting until you are no longer angry. At some point you feel foolish for holding on to bad feelings.

I recently managed to go 10 straight days with the new girl initiating every time and sending the last text message every time. Meanwhile, my other girl texted 7 straight days out of those 10 (a record for that relationship). I didn't initiate anything. I don't think it's a coincidence or luck, I think that by not texting them they will text us more.

In general, I'm finding that it's rarely ok to initiate text messages with girls. As Doc Love said, they are happiest when they do the chasing.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I found myself living more happily by simply playing clean and get rid of all the girls who dont.

When you have to rely on games, powerplays and such it either means your frame (coming from you) or the girl herlself doesnt provide any quality.
So either improve yourself or trash away the cvnt.

Honestly I agree with checking your frame and be your best self but Im not a teenager or doctor in a mental hospital, Im not living any relationship like that.

 

[JoeMarron]

Great post. Its all about investment. The more we invest in someone the more we like that person. This goes beyond pua tactics, games, etc. Its basic psychology.

 

[bigneil]

I've decided that we should NEVER text them first, unless you have a question or if it's an anniversary or birthday or something. Even if you just had sex with her an hour ago, her attitude is always better when she is initiating.

Save whatever interesting things you have to say until they write to you, and if they never do, walk away.

 

[MM92]

For those of you who have girls that text you every day, try this for the next week.

1) Don't initiate any conversations on any given day. Let her initiate, even if it means not communicating those day(s).

2) While you may respond to her text messages and calls, try to make sure she sends the last message each night also.

Summary: She will send the last message every night, and then she will double-text to send the first message the following day, and she will do this every day or you won't talk to her that day.

This seems to be the optimal amount of texting to maintain her high interest level. Also, this way no matter what she does to annoy you on a given day, since she will be initiating the next time you speak, you can just let whatever happened go without mentioning it and things will stay balanced.

No matter what others are saying about overthinking etc this is 100% true. So simple but so effective. It makes then want you more than you want them because it eliminates the sense of desperation. Or it at least seems that way to them.

 

[Uncharted]

Had to bump this thread because I started doing this to one of my plates that I thought had mid-low interest and I noticed that I was starting the majority of the contact.

I didn't text her for a week, then I was busy with some other things. Here's how the rest went:

Tuesday: She texts in morning (10am-ish), I respond, she texts back I ignore.
Wednesday: Nothing
Thursday: She texts me at night, I respond, she texts "Good night" I don't respond.
Friday: She texts 8am "Hope you're not mad at me" (hooked!) I respond at 6PM "why would I be? i'm heading out though have a good weekend." She responds with the same.
Saturday: No contact
Sunday afternoon: "So hey when can I see you again?" (interest level raised) I call to set up date.

Thanks bigneil

 

[mikey2012]

Please sticky this.