The Stop Text-Initiating Experiment

[CaliMan007]

I'm torn on this. I have tried the "let them always initiate", but it felt unnatural. It really depends on the girl I would say.

Personally, playing these games is very tiring and taxing ON ME. If a girl texts me in the morning and I have to "plan" on responding to her X amount of hours later, that's like work. It's like I have to put a follow-up reminder in my Outlook calendar.

I do believe in the point the OP is making, which is let them chase you and don't be too available. But when it gets to the point of calculating when to text and how many texts to send, it becomes games and women do pick up on games and will play them in return.

 

[Brosy]

Strange that someone has written this down, as I've noticed identical behaviour constantly. For me it's not a game though, it's because I find texting f*!king tedious!

But yeah, I never initiate, but also I don't play silly-buggers not responding for x hours. I just keep the flow until I think "bored now" and just throw my phone on the side or something.

1 or 2 days later, she's back again.

 

[Fatal Jay]

I want to add something to this, make sure you text an hour after she first text you also.

 

[Uncharted]

I'm torn on this. I have tried the "let them always initiate", but it felt unnatural. It really depends on the girl I would say.

Personally, playing these games is very tiring and taxing ON ME. If a girl texts me in the morning and I have to "plan" on responding to her X amount of hours later, that's like work. It's like I have to put a follow-up reminder in my Outlook calendar.

I do believe in the point the OP is making, which is let them chase you and don't be too available. But when it gets to the point of calculating when to text and how many texts to send, it becomes games and women do pick up on games and will play them in return.

The hours of delay was just because I was busy. My point was that I let her initiate and end the conversation each day.

 

[TheCWord]

Bump. A favorite thread of mine.

 

[instantnoodles]

Meh. What is the point of this experiment? You have to be honest with yourself.

To get an ego boost when the girl does this? To have fun? To just bother the girl?

And when to do it? Casual girls or ones you are deeply involved with.

Yes it's just a waste of time and uncessary.

If you need someone, you need someone. Simple. Being natural about things is simply attractive to me.

 

[TheCWord]

To just bother the girl?

It's about making sure the girl is willing to make effort and investing enough to keep things balanced.

And yes, it's to bother the girl

I'm sure you can admit that when a guy is driving you crazy - be it not replying to texts, being unavailable, or just generally keeping you guessing where you two are at - you think about him more and more and your attraction to him grows... all while he's not even in the same room with you!

That's the Stop Text-Initiating Experiment.

 

[instantnoodles]

I understand where you're coming from, LilCword

But you'll never know what the girl is feeling inside. Texts alone cannot tell you whether she feels for you or not, whether she is willing to make an effort.

If you really want to know, look at how she behaves. She's happy when with you? Sad because you're not with him? Does things you ask her to, like "answer the phone honey" or "go get me a glass of water" (when you show her your leadership)? Does she refuse?

I don't think my attraction would really increase. If I needed him and he's not there, it would make me think what's going on? What kind of game is he playing?

Looking at the other side, it's ok to play this game in the beginning, when things are just warming up. Bother the guy too

I just don't like games. But that is me

 

[TheCWord]

Looking at the other side, it's ok to play this game in the beginning, when things are just warming up. Bother the guy too

I just don't like games. But that is me

For me personally, I would only use it in the beginning. If, after two months with a girl, you're still playing dumb games then you have a bigger problem. Or, how I'm using it now, while hitting the reset button on a girl who I went NC on. Now that she's texting again , I'm making sure to not make the same mistakes as last time where I was sending texts way more, way more often and then, gulp, complained to her about it.

So, yes, I want to see her doing more of the chasing this time around. And this, so far, has seemed like a reliable way to do it.

 

[instantnoodles]

Okok well that's good you don't play it when you shouldn't anymore.

I don't think you can send too many texts unless the girl will tell you or make a hint that you are texting too much. For me, if it's someone I like, I personnally don't care. I'm more easy-going. It's nice to see the guy I like want to talk to me.

I see. Hmm OK! Makes sense.

 

[mikey2012]

The psychology of texting

If you text first and you get no reply

You start thinking of why don't you text back. After time you begin think more and more. Soon they will be on you mind more and more.
It will get to the point that you will be thinking about this person full time. You may be tempted to send more texts because you think they haven't received the first one. All sorts of thoughts will go through your mind. For the opposite sex the attraction level will increase because you are unavailable . There is a sweet spot though, after a few days with no answer you will probably forget about it.

 

[TheCWord]

The psychology of texting

If you text first and you get no reply

You start thinking of why don't you text back. After time you begin think more and more. Soon they will be on you mind more and more.
It will get to the point that you will be thinking about this person full time. You may be tempted to send more texts because you think they haven't received the first one. All sorts of thoughts will go through your mind. For the opposite sex the attraction level will increase because you are unavailable . There is a sweet spot though, after a few days with no answer you will probably forget about it.

I should also point out, for noodles and others here, the main reason why I try to not initiate and not be the one to send the last message...

It's just like mikey said, the effects texting has on the mind - but it affects the male mind just as much as females. We have hamsters too. Getting the girl's hamster running is, for me, reason #2 for doing this. Reason #1 is taking care of my own hamster.

I've lost many a chump-filled days or nights wondering why a girl was taking so long to text back, asking why I am always the one initiating, etc. I no longer have those worries, but I do have girls texting me - including a girl who once had me fully chumped up when she controlled the text game.

It sounds minor. It sounds juvenile. But now, when I look at a text message box and see that she sent the last message, I feel at ease. Before, if it was a girl I really liked and the last thing on screen was a blue or green box from me, I would be bouncing off the walls.

 

[instantnoodles]

It's about making sure the girl is willing to make effort and investing enough to keep things balanced.

Great. You now know the girl is definitely putting interest. But on my side, what about the male? How do I know he's putting in just about the same level of interest and effort as well ? You have the girl who's texting you giddily and then there's you who I could question about. Guess i won't judge the texts, I'll have to observe behaviour. Guess texting is useless to me after all, but could be useful for you.

There is a sweet spot though, after a few days with no answer you will probably forget about it.

A cheat for the game? Maybe...

 

[zekko]

If I texted somebody and they didn't reply, I would simply stop texting them. And put my attention somewhere where it's appreciated.

 

[instantnoodles]

If I texted somebody and they didn't reply, I would simply stop texting them. And put my attention somewhere where it's appreciated.

What I also thought similarly. Sensible point Rep +1