The smoothest thing you ever said to a woman!

[Steady Eddie]

The smoothest thing you ever said to a woman!
Its been said that men lust with there eyes and woman lust with there ears, so lets all share some of those great spontaneous lines that melted their hearts. To get us on the right track I'll go first.
I was maken out with this honey and the conversation went like this
Sexy Babe: You got really nice eyes.
Me: Thanks, so do you.
Sexy Babe: Your full of ****, know how I know your full of ****?
Me: No?
Sexy Babe: Cause no one has ever told me I'v got nice eyes.
Me: Maybe no ones noticed them before.
She ate it up! DAMN IM SMOOTH!
So come on guys lets hear it.


------------------
-- All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence and then success is sure --

-- A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; but a "brilliant conversationalist" is one who talks to you about yourself.

That line deserves an award.

 

[old married dude]

So once this chick came over to hang out & I totally was not sure at all if she was really DTF so I pulled a very ballsy move. We tried to find something to watch on TV but there wasn't anything on. I just turned to her & said "Let's throw on a porn & see what happens."

It could have went very bad, but turns out she was DTF after all because things turned out quite well. :rockon:

 

[Bingo-Player]

did this over text and it played into my hand's

( previously talking about sex )

bingo - bet your pretty hot with all this chat

her - nuh uh takes more than that

bingo - does it ?

her - yeh.......

bingo - ok whats your favourite postion

her - thats for me to know ....

bingo - and me to put you in


i have more just cant think off the top of my head lol

 

[Pause]

her - guys always look at girls butts, its how you rate women

me - nah.. we've been through this before, i cant do butterfaces, i check their faces first

her - liar, i saw you check out the butts on all 3 of those girls when the walked in

me - ok you got me, thats why i liked you right off the bat: you've gotta very convenient setup on your shoulders, i was able to check out your arse and your face at the same time

 

[DJ Joe Blo Yo]

(ex)Girlfriend: I hate the color of my eyes! They're so boring and brown
Me: C'mon babe. Don't say that.
XGF: Well it's true!
Me: No it's not. You see your eyes are brown like dirt...
XGF: *steam out of ears*
Me: And your pretty face is like a flower growing from the dirt
XGF: *hearts out of ears*

Now I use this line on every girl that says her brown eyes are ugly...Except the girls where her face isn't like a beautiful rose but more of an annoying dandelion

 

[logicallefty]

(ex)Girlfriend: I hate the color of my eyes! They're so boring and brown
Me: C'mon babe. Don't say that.
XGF: Well it's true!
Me: No it's not. You see your eyes are brown like dirt...
XGF: *steam out of ears*
Me: And your pretty face is like a flower growing from the dirt
XGF: *hearts out of ears*

Now I use this line on every girl that says her brown eyes are ugly...Except the girls where her face isn't like a beautiful rose but more of an annoying dandelion

:crackup: good one. I often tell brown eyed girls "the eyes are windows into the soul, and yours are brown because you are full of sh|t!" But it's like the turd calling the poop brown because my eyes are brown too :crackup:

 

[dfzero]

Should be the hall of garbage.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

C

It was Valentines Day and my High School had a couple of kids who ran a little business to deliver Valentine's roses. Naturally, I chose to have one delivered to a girl I had my eye on for quite a while and had already asked her out once but was politely told "No, let's keep it at friends".

But hey I'm a persistent budding Don Juaner and one "No" doesn't throw me off the girl. So these kids they went up and delivered the rose, the card attached to the rose said, "For the message, please call..."

So that night she called, she knew it was me (because she had my number already) and she laughed and said, "Thanks for the rose but I'm waiting to hear the message" so I told her to walk over to the nearest mirror.

When she got there I told her to "Hold the rose up to her face and look in the mirror" so she did and then I said the following words as smoothly and as sexily as I could "That's right, girl. You show the rose what the meaning of 'true beauty' really is" and guys, she melted into a stunned silence and her very next words were "What are you doing tomorrow night?"

$wEeT!

Cheesy but smooth

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I don't know if this counts.
Finished first date with someone I had known a long time ago.
I look at her, with a small smile. "I can tell there's this crazy dynamic between us. What are we going to do about it?" I give her just enough time for her to start to talk then pull her in for a passionate kiss. Best first date ever... We are still seeing each other.

Unsmoothest line ever.
I had had a first date with a girl. No action but it went alright. She seemed like she was into me. We were talking on the phone. I said, " come and see me tomorrow. The door will be open and I'll be in bed. See ya."
The door was open. I was in bed and she did come and join me.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Hi there, you look like you could use a ******* :crackup:

"Hello" works quite well.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I was looking at shirts, and said that I struggle with shirts because of my size, (6'7"). The cute little sales assistant says that she loves big men. I give her a cheeky grin and say I love small women because I can pick then up and carry them away. She says that she wouldn't mind. So I pick her up.

It is a lot of fun. I didn't number close but am pretty sure that I could have if I wanted to.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Any lines that work on men? I've never ever used a chat up line... Might well start though!

You don't need chat up lines for men, unless you really unnatractive, although it does make you seem like you have a personality.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Come with me if you want to live.

 

[MrWood]

Your eyes I could enjoy, but more the lips, a sincere feature

 

[ChrisFloyd]

To the McDonald's cashier:

"A mango smoothie, please."

If that counts.

 

[Tictac]

"A mango smoothie, please."

That is smooth(ie).

 

[Stugots26]

Her: What did you have for dinner?

Me: Does it really matter if you're not dessert?

 

[Derek Flint]

Me to HB: "Damn, you look almost as good as I do! "

 

[Chev.Chelios]

(ex)Girlfriend: I hate the color of my eyes! They're so boring and brown
Me: C'mon babe. Don't say that.
XGF: Well it's true!
Me: No it's not. You see your eyes are brown like dirt...
XGF: *steam out of ears*
Me: And your pretty face is like a flower growing from the dirt
XGF: *hearts out of ears*

Now I use this line on every girl that says her brown eyes are ugly...Except the girls where her face isn't like a beautiful rose but more of an annoying dandelion

omg hahaha man im gonna try that

 

[logicallefty]

omg hahaha man im gonna try that

Ive used one "your eyes sparkle like glass windows and i can see right through; and i see brown cuz you full of sh!t to the top of your head" lol I have never used the dirt flower one, thats pretty good too. lol