The smoothest thing you ever said to a woman!

[thisampgoesto11]

was at the pool today, in the sauna by myself, and this cute lifeguard comes and opens the door and says 'are you the only one in here' and i was kicking myself for saying something dumb like "yea if thats okay with you" - so as i was leaving, another guy had just entered, so I passed her on my way out and said "There's another guy in the sauna now, so whatever you were planning is gonna have to wait"
I feel I redeemed myself in her eyes =D

 

[ValleyDJing]

New Rule for this thread!!!You all need to add the female's reactions to your posts.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I broke up with a gf, but had ordered some lingerie for her that she got in the mail after we had already broken up. She came rushing up to me at school and blurted out, obviously very nervous, "That stuff came. What do you want me to do with it?" I immediately replied with a smile, "Try it on." She let out a sigh of relief, smiled and said "nice!" and then I walked away.

We were fvcking again by the next week.

 

[Sir Juanalot]

Was with girl at her house, heavy kino etc... she said "i have some really sensitive areas on my body" and i just replied "that's ok, i'm sure i'll find them later"

She just said "god, you're confident", and i just grinned at her.

I did find them later as well

 

[Gamble]

if you want to f*ck her after the club, and you are receiving IOI's. You want to move to a seduction zone, tell her this...

Me: hey girl this is going to cost you *points at yourself*
Girl: *laughs* or says how much
Me: Well I'm on sale right now and only for tonight, I can give you 2 hours for the price of 1.
Girl *laughs*
Me: But this sale ends tonight, so you better act now before it's too late. Some restrictions may apply.

-this demonstrates ****y funny so it's a good one.

 

[Charm&Style]

last year (first year of college) i had taken out one of my friends for breakfast, she was a chick that during high school i wanted to lay really bad but she was in a 'serious' relation ship.

anyways during our first year of college her relationship collapsed so i took it to my advantage.

i had picken her up on a sunday morning to go out for breakfast. We started to teas each other a lot and what she would do is speed up in front of me (while we were walkin) stick her a$$ out and then suddenly stop which i kept bumping into her and then she would yell watch out

anways she kept doing it and right before she stopped i pulled out my shlong and d1ckslapped her ass ( we were walking towards the restuarant and no one saw but SHE FELT IT) lol

i will never forget her facial expresion SHOCKED, HORNY, and PISSED OFF. wow i dont know what i was thinking when i did that but oh well lol she formed a great bond after that incident and i ended up doing exactly what i wanted.

point of the story is sometimes you gotta not think about what you're doing and juss do it.

 

[karrak]

Ok this line was used on me in a club:

her: i'm going to the toilet. Do you want to come?

Now I didn't fancy her but this seriously made me stop and think.

 

[Crazy Asian]

blah blah blah,
blah blah blah,
me: i have x-ray vision you know...
her: yeah...sure
me: nice panties
her: you can't see me underwear!
me: i cant tell you what color they are
her: what?
me: polka dots
her: nope
me: well prove it
her:

haha this worked very well, she responded very positively.

 

[Vulpine]

Outside a club burning a grette:

HB: "Excuse me, can get I get a cigarette from you?"
V: "Wow... You're done already?"
HB: "Huh?"
V: "That was quick! Jeez, I haven't even gotten started!"
HB: (catching on) *giggles*
V: "This is going to be wild. I'll tell you what, I'll let you have TWO when we're finished." *took her arm and led her off*
HB: (came along quietly/nervously)
:rockon:
...

Later...


V: *rolls off, reaches for pack of smokes, pulls out two* "Two, as promised. Don't smoke them at the same time."
HB: *giggles* "I can't believe we just had sex. What should I tell my friends?"
V: "You went for a smoke."
HB: *giggles*
V: "So, uh... pardon me for being invasive, but, what's your name?"
HB: *laughs* "(name)"
V: "Damn. I was hoping it was Veronica."
HB: *hits me* "WTF!!!"
V: *sigh* "In my dream, your name was Veronica."
HB: *initiates round 4*

I never got her number, and I never saw her again after that night.
:crackup:

 

[ValleyDJing]

You better not be lying about that ****...i'll kill you. =P

 

[blinkwatt]

This is possibly the stupidest thing I've ever done,especially since I we were going out seriously

Setting; I'm on lunch,she brings me lunch and stop by to visit

bw-(trying to feel up on her boobs after we talked)
hb-knock it off,is all you want from me is sex?
bw(still going for the boobs)
hb-seriously stop it blinkwatt
bw-(I was getting fed up) What the heck is wrong with you? Were you molested as a child?

I was slapped in the face and we haven't talked comfortably since.

Kind of the opposite point of the post but meh.

Smoothest line

I met this chick at work,got her number the 2nd time I talked to her. Called her up,set up a date.
We are driving to the mini golf place,all went well. She offered to let me come into her house on the first date.

hb - This is nuts! I don't even know your last name and we are fooling around next to my parents and my brothers room?
bw - so?
hb - I don't know all I know if that your name is blinkwatt and you work at (job)
bw- You talk to much.

Continued to make-out with her family less 10 feet away. Too bad my boobs are bigger then hers.

 

[ValleyDJing]

bw-(trying to feel up on her boobs after we talked)
hb-knock it off,is all you want from me is sex?
bw(still going for the boobs)
hb-seriously stop it blinkwatt
bw-(I was getting fed up) What the heck is wrong with you? Were you molested as a child?

I was slapped in the face

I was slapped in the face...

BW: I'll take that as a yes. Later!


Dude, why did you even talk to her after that? I'd have put that ho in her place! You tell her, "Last time we talked, you slapped me. I didn't appreciate that so you'll excuse me if I don't want to talk to you right now. Oh btw...all any guy wants is sex. If you want plutonic guy friends, hit up a gay bar."


Turn it back on her. Make her the one in the wrong. Put together a good enough argument and most chicks are stupid enough to believe it.

 

[blinkwatt]

Turn it back on her. Make her the one in the wrong. Put together a good enough argument and most chicks are stupid enough to believe it.

Dude that almost a year ago,I learned a lot from her.

Live and learn right?

 

[HandyAndy]

Her: Hey honey, how was work? I missed you.

Me: Get your skinny a$$ back in the kitchen and get me another beer b!tch!*b!tchslap*

------

Me and a chick go to a friends house.
friend: Hey ChrizZ, come gamble with us!
Me: I don´t need to gamble *looking at chick* I already got the jackpot.

LMAO:crackup:

This is more of a CnF thing...

I was sitting at lunchtime with a hot friend of mine and she starts singing a song, she stops and says "God this song gets annoying sometimes" and I said, " Yeah when you sing it" She laughed and punched me..
Meh...i have time to learn better stuff

 

[dibs]

I'm on elevator with girl in tight black dress Friday night.
I have beer in a back-pack...it clanks.

HER: What's in the bag??
Dibs: Wouldn't you like to know...........
...........
Dibs: What's in the dress?
HER: (Big smile,bright red face) Wouldn't you like to know!

 

[milton]

Ok not as great as your guyss but heres one.

(semi dating this girl, called me pooh bear for some reason .. lol)

her: hey pooh bear, why the sad face?
me: i just need my honey.


eh... the best i can do haha... for now...

 

[DavenJuan]

I think the "nice eyes" line is just too generic.

I am not really the smoothest guy in the world most of the time. It's more about the delivery than what you say. Usually when I do say really smooth stuff it is a combination of tidbits from obscure films and is accompanied with kino. Like this:

(standing in front of a mirror with her)
Me: Do you ever wear your hair up?
Her: Well, sometimes. Why?
Me: You should more often. (pulling her hair into an up position, stroking the back of her neck lightly on the way up. Look at her in the mirror briefly and speak softly into her ear) See how it acentuates your shoulders. (Now speaking even more softly) A woman's shoulders are the front lines of a mystique.

...isnt that line from Devils Advoacte?

 

[Naughtyboy]

Well i didnt say this to a girl and was unintentional, but worked out anyway

In university, a bunch of us had gone to attend some job interviews. One of my friends was not doing well, he was screwing up badly and was feeling like ****. So one point I just went over and had a casual conversation with him. I guess I was fairly smooth with words then, cheered him up in no time

One HB 9 was hearing all this. When it got over she came over and stroked my back softly. Later she said it was the smoothest thing she had ever heard, the way I consoled a guy without making it seem obvious

Jackpot

 

[ladym]

Any lines that work on men? I've never ever used a chat up line... Might well start though!

 

[Sir Juanalot]

Any lines that work on men? I've never ever used a chat up line... Might well start though!

Hi there, you look like you could use a ******* :crackup: