The Shy/Inexperienced Girls thread...

[WorldCitizen]

Okay, I did a thorough search for innocent/inexperienced girls using the don juan search engine, but no luck. Here's some background info...

I have game, plenty of game with regular girls Heck, even with shy girls, i have no problems approaching, small talking and number closing. I don't let women get the best of me, and I have a high self-esteem

However, I have found the following problem:

Despite having had as much sex as I can handle and many relationships, etc., I have come to the point where I want something different. The fact is that I'm far more attracted to humility and groundedness than horniness in a girl. The fact that they're physically attractive is a must, naturally.

Yet, when I try to spit the ****y-funny vibe, and moving fast for the dates, etc., I find I keep scaring away the shy inexperienced girls. I've had some luck recently by not being ****y, understating my outgoingness and playing it humble just to get them comfortable (I am decent, but I'm not naturally humble hehe). The Don Juan traits are great for getting you confident/motivated and able to number close any girl, and a relationship with most girls, however, to get into a "relationship" with a shy/inexperienced girl seems to require new strategies.

IF ANY OF YOU GUYS HAVE HAD SUCCESS WITH SUCH STRATEGIES, THIS IS THE THREAD TO POST THEM...

...be kind and share some of your wisdom I meet beautiful grounded spiritual and intelligent virgins on a regular basis, yet totally scare them off after a few weeks hehe...



==============================================



[Updated Shy-Inexperienced (SI) girls strategy by World Citizen]:

Okay guys,
I've seen great input here, and I think we can build up a solid strategy together if we compare strategies and field-tested ideas!
And I mean FIELD-TESTED!!!!
I'll get the ball rolling, here's my strategy for shy-inexperienced girls (there are plenty of outgoing inexperienced and shy experienced girls out there, this is not for them):

1) Be your natural ****y/funny/confident self, and number/email close them like any other girl (a lot of shy girls seem to prefer msn/email to phone at the beginning due to strict parents or their own lack of experience with guys)

2) Take things slow

3) Patience seems to be key!...rush them into the same speed as a normal girl and they'll get scared

4) You must already have DJ traits to pull all of this off smoothly, so if you haven't already done so, read the DJ Bible and get plenty of field experience.

5) Use humour a lot to get her comfortable, a lot of them are suckers for humour

6) Talk to them for a while, and hint at your interest a couple of times, and if they just don't get it, suggest that they're your type, and you'd be interested in them but need to get to know them better (and when you hang out, always give her the "look" that lets her know non-verbally your desire/interest)

7) Hang out with them in groups first, when they're comfortable with that then move on to one on one...this may take a month from the first time you meet them to the point where you're going on "one on one dates" (totally against my principles with any other woman, but these women are wifey material so it's worth it

8) At some point where you were very obviously interested in her she'll get scared (of falling for you? ) and may appear quiet-uninterested, but still hang around you from time to time...dont' let this confuse you (she still wants you, she just doesnt' know it yet )...continue things a little slower now, when she makes a move to talk to you continue the jokes...and be warm and down to earth.

9) By now you're hanging out one on one, take it real slow, be friends first, after a few dates when you see her really comfortable, establish kino, go in for the kiss, if she's receptive then it's all smoothe DJ sailing weather after that ...

10) If all the points above need re-working (and I'm sure they do) please please add your input!!!!...and give me more points to add, we need to beat out a more comprehensive strategy for these unique women

 

[Toronto's Finest]

The strategy for shy girls!!

Hey bro
I have the same preference. What works for me is to be friends first!! It's odd, some of these ultra inexperienced girls are actually uncomfortable hanging out with DJ guys one on one. They either hang out with girls or shy guys. So you may have to get used to socializing around their friends for a bit until they become comfortable. After that i'd say ask them to go study together or chill one on one once theyr'e comfortable around you...of course you should let them know from the start that you're attracted to them and interested. Of course, with outgoing girls none of this applies, they're a totally different beast!!!!!

 

[WorldCitizen]

bump

bump

 

[coldcoal]

I depend on my humor to comfort the shy ones, and I've never had a problem bringing them out of thier shells this way. They feel like a natural part of the conversation when they are laughing. It even makes for more humor when they finally do something not so shy.

But I've always displayed certain non-intimate actions that clued on my actual intentions. I feel the need for this especially when I am trying to hook up with a very attractive shy girl. With these girls, men in competition are always especially kind and friendly to them, and humor doesn't always give me the edge here. So when the opportunity arrises, I show them in small ways that I am looking out for them.
Oddly enough, trouble always seems to find a beautiful shy girl. Many other women get bent out of shape and sometimes violent because thier own boyfrinds like to look. Many men try underhanded methods to get them to "loosen up" because they don't know what else to do. It's crazy.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Mr. World, I have the same preference as you!

Nowadays a hor is a dime a dozen dozen (a dime for 144) - there is no challenge in that!

A shy/inexperienced girl will look for 'manly' qualities - a sense of humor (not ****y) is one of them. Humor with humility and not arrogance is more appealing!! Try it!

Swamp man, trying to make an inexperienced/shy girl jealous is a no-no! She may be shy of men because she doesn't 'trust' them - your method of attraction will backfire and be your loss!!

 

[chicksrock]

This is a very important topic and hasn't been beaten around really enough on this board..

i meet shy/spiritual/virgin girls all the time too ..
and yes I am finding the aggressive methods that I have read about for usual DJing and applying them doesn't work on this set of girls..

the DJ has to use a different set of tools in this scenario..

I haven't made too many break throughs...
but whatever success i have enjoyed thus far, is sharing and finding a common ground with such girls..
if they are spiritually inclined..and so are you..then you should talk about it with the girl..and build rapport there..

I think these women get attracted to DJ's ...but want them to tone down their behaviour.... not all the way to AFC behaviour...but just striking the right balance..
not being too aggressive..that will scare them away

in such scenarios it might be worth being a bit AFC ... yes i note "a bit" only... ..ie be friends and do all that **** ..
build intense rapport ..

and this is my plan that i'm currently working on:
get her very very very damn comfortable around you
then move in for the kill !
hehehe !
GOOD LUCK!

 

[WorldCitizen]

Detailed strategy:

Okay guys,
I've seen great input here, and I think we can build up a solid strategy together if we compare strategies and field-tested ideas!
And I mean FIELD-TESTED!!!!
I'll get the ball rolling, here's my strategy for shy-inexperienced girls (there are plenty of outgoing inexperienced and shy experienced girls out there, this is not for them):

1) Be your natural ****y/funny/confident self, and number/email close them like any other girl (a lot of shy girls seem to prefer msn/email to phone at the beginning due to strict parents or their own lack of experience with guys)

2) Take things slow

3) Patience seems to be key!...rush them into the same speed as a normal girl and they'll get scared

4) You must already have DJ traits to pull all of this off smoothly, so if you haven't already done so, read the DJ Bible and get plenty of field experience.

5) Use humour a lot to get her comfortable, a lot of them are suckers for humour

6) Talk to them for a while, and hint at your interest a couple of times, and if they just don't get it, suggest that they're your type, and you'd be interested in them but need to get to know them better (and when you hang out, always give her the "look" that lets her know non-verbally your desire/interest)

7) Hang out with them in groups first, when they're comfortable with that then move on to one on one...this may take a month from the first time you meet them to the point where you're going on "one on one dates" (totally against my principles with any other woman, but these women are wifey material so it's worth it

8) At some point where you were very obviously interested in her she'll get scared (of falling for you? ) and may appear quiet-uninterested, but still hang around you from time to time...dont' let this confuse you (she still wants you, she just doesnt' know it yet )...continue things a little slower now, when she makes a move to talk to you continue the jokes...and be warm and down to earth.

9) By now you're hanging out one on one, take it real slow, be friends first, after a few dates when you see her really comfortable, establish kino, go in for the kiss, if she's receptive then it's all smoothe DJ sailing weather after that ...

10) If all the points above need re-working (and I'm sure they do) please please add your input!!!!...and give me more points to add, we need to beat out a more comprehensive strategy for these unique women

 

[WorldCitizen]

bump.

 

[WorldCitizen]

bump.

 

[Buck Naked]

Great post and it came at the right time for me. I might have missed it in one of the posts, but what is a good way to ask a shy girl out/hang-out??

 

[coldcoal]

I like where this thread is heading, WC.

I decided to provide a layout below of one particular experience I had with exactly such a woman, perhaps just to be able to pick apart something already field tested to get started. The main reason I'm putting this out is because the situation elevated to a serious level, that being possibilities of marriage. So here it is. Any questions just shoot.


The Initial Meeting:

Joe's place was where a small group of us guys decided to meet up before heading to a show. Joe had already arrainged for a few women to meet with us there, but none of us aside from him have met them before.

Three of them arrived. The 1st was very attractive, I'd say 8.5, and was there with Joe. The 2nd....not worth mentioning here, the 3rd is our target girl; the shy one. I'll say 8.5 to be conservative.

As I was introduced to each of them, I gave a very simple & curtious "hi", but to the shy one I gave a good smile and repeated her name in my "hello" to her. I immediately started the small talk: where she was from, how long she had been in the area... you get the idea.
But I didn't circle her like a vuture. I left the room to do something, back to convo, got on the phone briefly, back to convo again and so forth. A little humor here and there.

We ended up sitting next to each other in the car for the ride, which was arrainged by either her friends or mine. I never made the request, so I'm thinking it was her friends. Anyway, there was already a mutual interest there between us. The rest of the night was much of the same touch and go conversation, initiated always by me. I had to do most of the talking, but she displayed constant interest with many smiles. Lots of humor. There was no kino and I never number closed her.

I had the option of knowing how to find her through friends, so I went with that instead of the number close by telling her she should definately come on out with us again sometime. She gladly agreed. No partcular plans were made but the idea that she would be informed of any event was implied. (I would have made sure of that!) No money was spent.

The Second Meeting:

The event ended up being a large gathering at my place the following weekend. I didn't invite her earlier because even I didn't know it was going to happen until a few days after I first met her. But I made sure the word got out to her and asked through people if she would be there. Basically a confirmation through friends.

When she arrived it was obvious I was glad to see her there. Big smile and initiated a hug hello. This night went very much the same as the first, only this time around I had enough control over the situation to make her feel more of a participant in the group than just a guest. I alloted time for her to control the house music and enforced it and things of that nature. I even joked around asking for her judgement on who got in or not at the door. It didn't take long for her to hop in on the joke and start refusing people. "Sorry man, she said you look like a ****. You've gotta leave!". (Everyone got in though. Just some fun.)

Anyway, still no kino. I escorted her out as she left, told her I was glad she came out and number closed her out by the car. Warm smile. No hug. Promised to call but did not say when. No money was spent.

The Call:

I don't remember exctly how many days I waited, but it didn't matter. I could have called the very next day. The connection was already there.

I called with the intention of setting up a gathering with a much smaller group of friends, which I did, but amazingly not before about an hour of decent convo went by (mostly casual stuff about the party, people...nothing about the two of us specifically).

The Third Meeting:

The plan was that me and two friends were going to pick up her and a few of her friends the following afternoon. Specific plans were never really made over the phone, just the pick up, and it was an on the spot decision to hit a nearby park.

By now making her laugh was effortless. And she was literally in tears when I got nipped in the leg by a goose. Damn thig started chasing me. So there I am yellin at it while I'm running away in, what thought at the time, to be a very clever zig-zagging motion. Duh. She opened up enough by then to bust my balls about it. Now the kino started. And later on that day in the park I asked her out on a bona fide date to the movies. No money was spent.


The Date:

God? Thank you for summer dresses! Stunning. Period. This was the first compliment I paid to her sice first meeting her. The $30 or so I did spend was easy to let go of. At this point a little hand holding was perfectly fine. I didn't lay on any thick humor, though I didn't abandon it either. I did kiss her at the end of the date, but it was just a nice soft little lip kiss. I didn't try to jam my tongue down her throat.

Something I realized much later on was that this first date didn't have all of the same checklist expectations that a first date normally has. It felt as if a commitment was finally being decided upon; that the two of us were there as something of an official couple. That's what it all felt like.

That's what it was, in fact. I had the opportunity to meet her parents not long after the date. During the diner her mother made reference to me becomming part of the family! Woah!

I must have made one hell of an impression.
Anyway, it all went downhill from here over the next few months for several personal reasons, but there was a little AFC behavior on my part, which certainly didn't help the situation. Never get too comfortable!

 

[chicksrock]

coldcoal...
you were verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy smoooth on your pickup ..
given me great ideas!
well done!

 

[ScrewIt]

World Citizen -

Very interesting post...it's funny that i happened to do all that with a girl except for point 9.

I realized her IL in me was growing, cuz she asked me certain questions that girls of high IL ask. but i didnt bother to pursue her cuz i had no interest in her. Most of the time, i would hang out with her friends, some of her friends are my friends now.
She probably would've been good wife material...

oh wells, what happened was one time i tried asking her friend out, but her friend probably wasnt interested in me. And most likely she told my friend.

And since then, we barely talk much nor hang out much. She probably saw no point in asking me to hangout with her since i had low IL in her.

She also happened to be the unexperienced type. She either had no bf before, or 1 or 2 (so she says).

It's probably her fault i wasnt attracted to her. She had NO sex appeal whatsoever, dont think i ever remember a time when she showed some skin. But she's a good person at heart. it's a shame she didnt want to stay friends. now we're just acquaintances.

 

[Toronto's Finest]

Puerto Rican Lover & Swampwiz:

I'd love to hear more about what you guys have to say about this, I think some of the more experienced DJ's will know more about these shy+inexperienced women than us, something tell me time is the key, can you please give us more detailed analysis of what it takes to get these kinds of women?? Thanks guys!

 

[Knicknack]

I'm actually dating a very attractive SHY girl right now. We've been dating for about 2½ months so far. Sometimes I just love her personality and other times I can't stand it. She is 25 years old and she is incredibly naive and shy in the bed. Furthermore, this girl just doesn't call me like past GFs did. She might send a TXT msg every couple days. I wish I could make her go AFC for me, but she just won't. It's either because she has low IL or she's just too shy.

It took me a month and a half to get her in bed. We started out by hanging out with our friends, and one-on-one. She always calls me "mean," but I know she likes it. I do have to turn it down a notch sometimes, and of course mix in some sweet things every now and then.

 

[Toronto's Finest]

"We started out by hanging out with our friends, and one-on-one"

Yeah, that's the sort of thing I want to hear. I used the same methods, but more specifics would be nice, how you got them to go one on one, with some girls it just takes time. I smiled when i heard the bit about her calling you mean. The shy i'm working on is always calling me that, but always laughs her head off regardless

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Knicknack


We started out by hanging out with our friends, and one-on-one. She always calls me "mean," but I know she likes it.

EXactly! she called me mean a few times in the past. Usually when they say that in such a way, it means they're into you.

I just love it when they say that, it means you've gotten in their pants.

Truthfully girls cannot be understood.
When she stopped calling me, i'd try calling her up a couple times to grab lunch, since she gets off class the same time as me. but she didnt pick up nor call me back.
then 1 month later 1 of our friends has a birthday dinner, and we got invited. She sat next to me, barely talked to me at all, and kinoed me several times. And at the buffet, i scooped her some food, and she said "youre nice to me today, arent u usually mean to me? i just reply " i am?"

So yea, at that dinner party, her IL in me was much higher than previously. She was more aloof than usual, being much more shy.
I was surprised tho...

 

[WorldCitizen]

bump

 

[Hollowpoint]

Excellent thread.

 

[DJBen]

Bump

Ace thread. I prefer this approach to C+F... maybe it's just cause I'm a brit and the girls over here arent so outgoing or whatever.

Nice one