The "Shaming" thread

[STR8UP]

The glass ceiling

 

[ketostix]

The glass ceiling

That's a biggie women use to shame men into promoting incompetent women.

Jealous and controlling are a couple other ones women use when a man puts expectations on female behavior.

 

[mrRuckus]

I just happen to have an email from a 22 year old still in my inbox when i was screwing around with the online stuff.


Excerpt:

I'm really sketched out by the dirty-old-man thing. I was walking through downtown the other day, going to meet my friend for lunch, and a bunch of 50 or 60 year old men were blatantly checking me out. I just sort of think they're pathetic, and I feel bad for their wives. Buying a car as a midlife crisis I can understand, but hitting on women my age is just gross

It's not a huge difference, but at the same time she was trying to get me a 28 year old to go out with her 22 yo self.


Earlier in the same email. (she's referring to me questioning her about wanting to be able to wear heels around a guy and how she can view men as a fashion accessory)

Ouch, fashion accessory? Definitely not. Sarcasm missed? I've dated guys my height or shorter, even, but Match asked what I was looking for. I'm attracted to guys that are taller than me - is that so bad? I see it as the same thing as saying I don't want really overweight or really skinny guys - if the right guy were to come along and was short and fat, then great. But that's not generally where I'm looking. Shall you chat with every female linebacker just in case she's got a fantastic personality?

How is wanting prettier, younger women (is that so bad? ) any different than her list of physical demands?

 

[Colossus]

All shaming really is is a misdirection of accountability. Creating insecurity in someone else is the quickest way to alleviate their criticism.

 

[jophil28]

All shaming really is is a misdirection of accountability. Creating insecurity in someone else is the quickest way to alleviate their criticism.

Indeed it is..great observation... How surpised are we to discover that "shaming " of men by women is merely another tactic to dodge accountability on their part.

Ducks quack in a variety of ways I guess.

 

[Jitterbug]

Immature.

Anything a man does that takes his attention off women gets him labelled as "immature".

 

[Nutz]

Good thread STR8UP!

My all time favorite was the BPD whack job's line,"All guys leave me". Now if that wasn't the all time most ridiculous shaming line I'd ever heard.... Believe me fella's if you hear that one,"RUN". Don't walk, RUN! She's TELLING you that she's had drama/ failed relationships, etc. Trying to pull the Save a Ho scheme on you.

KC

Don't know why, but something about "save a ho" just really made my day. Good stuff.

 

[Nutz]

All shaming really is is a misdirection of accountability. Creating insecurity in someone else is the quickest way to alleviate their criticism.

Very insightful. I'd give you more rep if the system would allow me to.

 

[Nutz]

If you guys don't mind, I'd like to collect these and slap them on my blog. They're just too good to be limited to our little corner of the web.

 

[jophil28]

Just out of curiosity, what is your general reaction when you hear one of these attempts at shaming?

Personally I look at them as opportunities to increase my non-reactiveteness.

And, generally, my favorite response to most of these is from "When I say No I feel Guilty" by Smith.

"Hmm. Maybe you're right."

Women are totally intolerant of any form of criticism of their behavior. IT challenges their lifelong investment in their ego's need to to be perfect, flawless and faultless in all ways.They rarely live lives of self propulsion, striving and improvement, they just fudge the surface layer.
Perception IS reality to women.

When i occasionally have the need to correct a woman who is out of line. I notice that I often receive a trumped up "counter attack" as if I "made her do it" , or she dredges up some petty shyte from the past as a decoy.
As Collosus said ,this is a defense and a misdirection of accountability.

So, when she fakes up one of these switches I say," Perhaps you are right, Now lets get back to what I was saying."

Mostly works.

 

[Nutz]

Here's a great example of what we're talking about. Just look at some of the vilification of older men dating younger women:

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=261094

 

[ketostix]

Here's a great example of what we're talking about. Just look at some of the vilification of older men dating younger women:

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=261094

This is why I say females' behavior is dependent on enviroment. Think about it, women naturally are attracted to or at least don't have a problem with older men, and older men are naturally attracted to younger women. Yet society shames the older man/younger woman relationships, so that women and men will go against their own nature and date in certain age ranges. If the media ran a publicity campain extolling how great older men are, there'd be a bunch more of younger women going with older men.

 

[STR8UP]

Women are totally intolerant of any form of criticism of their behavior. IT challenges their lifelong investment in their ego's need to to be perfect, flawless and faultless in all ways.They rarely live lives of self propulsion, striving and improvement, they just fudge the surface layer.
Perception IS reality to women.

When i occasionally have the need to correct a woman who is out of line. I notice that I often receive a trumped up "counter attack" as if I "made her do it" , or she dredges up some petty shyte from the past as a decoy.
As Collosus said ,this is a defense and a misdirection of accountability.

So, when she fakes up one of these switches I say," Perhaps you are right, Now lets get back to what I was saying."

Mostly works.

Agreed. Women HATE to be held to standards, to have to answer to someone, and most of all to be held accountable.

The only thing I don't agree with is how one should handle a woman who is "out of line". I say words are futile...withdraw your attention to get your point across.

This is why I say females' behavior is dependent on enviroment. Think about it, women naturally are attracted to or at least don't have a problem with older men, and older men are naturally attracted to younger women. Yet society shames the older man/younger woman relationships, so that women and men will go against their own nature and date in certain age ranges. If the media ran a publicity campain extolling how great older men are, there'd be a bunch more of younger women going with older men.

It's not society that is promoting this, it is OLDER WOMEN who stand to lose from a man's natural preference for youth and a younger woman's natural preference (or at least acceptance of) older men.

And actually, the media DOES promote older men/younger women relationships. Just look at most movies that come out today. It is almost always a younger woman with an older man, because despite what the old biddies b!tch and complain about, it is natural for a fair amount of age disparity.

Edit- Incidentally, I am getting ready to head out tonight with a couple of friends of mine to meet up with a group of sorority chicks my buddies recently met.

Don't let anyone tell you that younger women don't like older men.

 

[Chrispy]

Good thread STR8UP!

My all time favorite was the BPD whack job's line,"All guys leave me". Now if that wasn't the all time most ridiculous shaming line I'd ever heard.... Believe me fella's if you hear that one,"RUN". Don't walk, RUN! She's TELLING you that she's had drama/ failed relationships, etc. Trying to pull the Save a Ho scheme on you.

KC

Good to know!!!

 

[Trader]

Here's a great example of what we're talking about. Just look at some of the vilification of older men dating younger women:

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=261094

If you carefully read that article - you will see girls initially attacking that young girl for dating an older guy.

But as you read on, you find those shaming attacks soften and even go away!

Why?

Pook was so spot on. There is ONE thing that can defeat shaming tactics - and that is LOVE. Girls cannot attack love, that is their source of power to manipulate men.

The girl stated that he treated her right and hinted that they were in love. Well, what else could those attacking women say?

So next time a girl shames you for say liking younger girls, tell them: 'I feel like I would relate to younger girls better, I love younger girls.'

 

[decades]

we loan money to women "friends" for one reason and one reason only. I hope you "discovered" the reason already and have learned from it.

 

[grinder]

I get this all the time from other women older and younger regarding my relationship with someone younger:

"What do you have in common?"
"What could you possibly even talk about?"
"Does she ask you for money?"

That last one p!sses me off.

 

[Cesare Cardinali]

With all due respect guys, what is the point of focusing on all the ways that women shame men? I'm not sure what's going on with the sosuave board, but what happened to all the DJ stuff focused on becoming an awesome guy who will naturally attract great women (yes they exist).

I tend to believe that whatever you focus on you'll just get more of; the whole law of attracting thing. And consequently, I've not really even considered that there are women who shame me or would could shame me. I just don't give off that vibe.

Cesare Cardinali

 

[penkitten]

MOMMA'S BOY

AND

WIFE BEATER

 

[iqqi]

WIFE BEATER

Yeah well anyone who is called that should be ashamed.

And NO I do not mean it is ok for a woman to hit a man, when I say it is not ok for a man to hit a woman.