The Secret Society ("Taken" Women)

[jimmyb]

Attracting women who are married and/or in a relationship... why me?

Before I begin this, let me get two things out of the way.

A) I know this is a controversial subject. Everyone has different views on it, but it arises in this field quite a lot. I feel it must be discussed and taught, despite a lot of people disagreeing with the subject.

B) I know this has been discussed many a times before. As with any school teacher, whether it be science, English, etc, these are based on my learnings and observations after continuing to learn and adapt various styles and teachings of others.

So, a little background... I work in retail, and I encounter many people on a daily basis, whether it be one of hundreds of associates, or the slew of customers that I interact with. Over the course of the past 6 months, I have had multiple instances of associates at work being attracted to me, and the three I will discuss fall under the category "Spoken For".

Female A:

A is a young lady, mid-20's. A has a boyfriend and child. Things I recollect to create attraction:

- Acted mysterious, she'd ask if I was interested in her, and I'd never tell her. I didn't turn her down, nor did I give her an answer, left her wondering.
- She'd constantly IM and text me, and I'd ignore half of them, or reply later, showing that I am a busy individual.
- Dominance. She kept reiterating she is used to being in control and getting what she wants, but I took that power right away from her, and KEPT it.

Female B:

B is a young lady, early 20's. B has a serious boyfriend that she moved here for, and his profile discusses how this is the girl he is going to marry. Of all the times I spoke with her, she'd never mention her boyfriend once. (plus) Things I recollect to create attraction:

- Constant busting on each other. I'd bust on her, she'd bust on me back. When a girl busts on you, DON'T get defensive and try to make explanations up. BUST ON HER BACK! BE SARCASTIC!
- Two steps forward, One step backwards. The few random compliments I'd give her, I'd say something right after that would knock her right out of her pedastool. She even told me aloud that is what I did. I could do this, because we established a tone of busting on each other. It was done in a ****y and Funny way.
- Confidence. I asked her why she decided to IM me, and when I didn't get the answer I wanted, I said, "No, it's because you're attracted to me." She didn't disagree. Obviously this worked because it was brought up well after I could sense the attraction.
- Mystery. She would ask if I find her attractive, after I told her she was attracted to me. She didn't get a straight answer, but rather I keep leading her in the right direction. This brings me to a side point: Don't ever ask a girl if she is interested in you. DISCOVER that she is interested in you.

Female C:

C is in her early 20's. She has a boyfriend and a child. I discovered her crush on me through another person. She had even said to this person, "Is it wrong for me to have a crush on him even though I have a boyfriend?" Things I recollect to create attraction:

- ****y and Funny. I'd bust on her playfully for wearing shirts from [insert movie here]. I'd always be playful, and after delivering my ****y and funny comment, give a confident grin.
- The rest is still in development stages. This one is mid-progress.

Overall Strengths/Reasons for Attraction:

- ****y & Funny and Busting On (David D)
- Confident Body Language, Displaying Power
- Being mysterious, not showing too much interest back
- 2 steps forward, 1 step backward (David D), Push & Pull

These are ALL qualities of an alpha male, and this shows they can work on women of ANY status. I remember reading once that women are like a monkey, swinging from branch to branch...they hang on one until they find a better one.

My Theories for Attraction to "Unavailable" Women:

I am very open to people about not having LTR's... While having casual conversations, I always discuss different girls I've met and gone on dates with, and even once said that I find reasons to break up with girls to move on. But why would this work?

Women who are "happily taken" but need some spicing up KNOW a guy like this will not get attached and change the status of their current relationship. Also, as stated MANY times before, women long for the alpha male, and the alpha male is what will add some excitement to their currently boring life.

I feel these women are backfiring on themselves. A little taste gives a sweet tooth for a whole lot more. According to my theory, they get with a guy they know won't get attached, but in turn, they are the "wuss" so to speak, and THEY get attached, and chase after the alpha male.

I feel that most of this falls under what Tyler Durden described as The Secret Society.

 

[jimmyb]

Just to add two things...

My opinion on taking another man's girl... I am a loyal friend, and I would NEVER do it to any of my friend's. If it's someone I'm not acquainted with, I am not aware of their situation, and it is between GIRLFRIEND and BOYFRIEND. She makes her own decisions, and is deciding the fate of their relationship. I'd prefer single girls, but it happens, a lot of fun, interesting girls are taken. The principal rule of nature is survival of the fittest.

And the other thing, all three girls, when expressing interest in intercourse, made it obvious (or even said) they were looking for strictly sex, and to let me move on with my life afterward. Female A just texted me the other day, after 2 months of no communication. She obviously wants more encounters with the alpha, but I'm not giving her anymore.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Every woman without a wedding ring is available.

That said, look at the consistency in conditions of the types of women you've just described. 2 are single mothers in their early to mid-20s and the 3rd is early 20s in a new, unfamiliar environment with immature (probably adolescent) perceptions of romanticism (i.e. early marriage). All easy pickens.

The single mommies will necessarily be intrigued by a new guy that's interested in them since ANY break in the doldrums of caring for a child and dealing with a defeated BF will make her feel desired again after pregnancy. This sense of urgency combined with a deficit in feeling desirable is only compounded by her knowing she's in her early/mid 20s and her girlfriends are out enjoying their singleness.

It's not the boyfriends that make the difference or you being Alpha, it's the commonality of their conditions. The only difference is girl B, and most likely she's being introduced to a new world she's never experienced before and is more than likely regreting her decision to consider marrying the BF now that she's had a taste.

 

[jimmyb]

Every woman without a wedding ring is available.

That said, look at the consistency in conditions of the types of women you've just described. 2 are single mothers in their early to mid-20s and the 3rd is early 20s in a new, unfamiliar environment with immature (probably adolescent) perceptions of romanticism (i.e. early marriage). All easy pickens.

The single mommies will necessarily be intrigued by a new guy that's interested in them since ANY break in the doldrums of caring for a child and dealing with a defeated BF will make her feel desired again after pregnancy. This sense of urgency combined with a deficit in feeling desirable is only compounded by her knowing she's in her early/mid 20s and her girlfriends are out enjoying their singleness.

It's not the boyfriends that make the difference or you being Alpha, it's the commonality of their conditions. The only difference is girl B, and most likely she's being introduced to a new world she's never experienced before and is more than likely regreting her decision to consider marrying the BF now that she's had a taste.

I agree with you that a woman without a ring on her finger is far easier to attract than a woman that is married, because the married woman has made a much stronger commitment. However, there are two flaws in your reply: 1) Saying that two of them are single mothers, because two of them are not. 2) They expressed interest with me, not me with them, initially. I believe they observed my normal behavior to themselves and others, I did not single any of them out to flirt with them.

I was not as specific in detail as I should have been, but all three are in serious LTR's, and the consistency was that all three weren't looking to get out of them. All three are looking for fun action on the side with someone that is fun and exciting. They're still cheating, they merely want "bang bang" as a friend put it.

The basis of my post is a pattern of attracting taken women, who are looking for side action. The number one thing I'd like to gain out of this, as well as others who read my experiences, are things to do to keep their LTR interesting if they're in one, to decrease the chances of someone else fulfilling that role.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo JimmyB,

First...Welcome to the WAR, soldier!

Now, on to your last post:

I think that there are only really two things REALISTICALLY that guys can do to help guard against having their girlfriend SERVICED by another guy:

1.Only enter into an LTR with a woman who has demonstrated over time, a consistently HIGH Interest Level in you.

2. Be HOLISTIC in your choices of qualities for any woman you pick for an LTR.

Don't go exclusive just because she's sexy, has a killer body, or is a whole lot of fun. These are great attributes, and are NECESSARY before even considering exclusivity, but they are all external/surface strengths.

But make no mistake, it is the internal/core strengths that will hold good LTRs together over time. You know, things like having mutual world views, spiritual views, RELATIONSHIP views, ethical views, etc. In other words, being in agreement with each other about things that are UNSEEN...

So compatability in these areas, ALONG with a strong-assed desire to fukk the shyt out of each other, are ALL needed to give people their best chance at having a successful LTR. Anything LESS than this, and people are setting themselves up to fukk off on the OTHER person, OR----being fukked off on themselves---so CHOOSE WISELY.


March on.

 

[Latinoman]

A woman that lacks self respect and has a history of doing that...will continue to do the same EVEN after being in a serious relationship.

It does not require any tricks or style to get them.

They are not different than women that sleep around with any man. In fact, more likely than not...most of them were that type of woman PRIOR to getting in a "serious" LTR with their current boyfriends.

I (and many of the men that post in here - including several AFCs) would have the same level of success with the three women you described.

In summary...they are EASY women.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

It's like these guys that get a girl to cheat on their boyfriend with them and then they want to be in a relationship with the girl...

It's like HELLO, to quote Last Man Standing, "once a hor always a hor."

 

[STR8UP]

Every woman without a wedding ring is available.

Many of them WITH a ring are available too.

Man, I see it more and more every day.

One of the groups I hang with has several married women. Most of them work with a good friend of mine, and when they come out to party with us he points out the fact that most of them are married but they STILL want to party, wink wink.

Awhile back we were at a club and one of his assistants started laying it on me, holding hands with me walking to the dance floor and sh!t, meanwhile telling me "don't expect anything, I'm married". She would start to talk to someone else while we were dancing, I would walk away and she would come and find me. Not what I would like MY wife to be doing on a Saturday night, that's for sure.

My biz partner just started messing with another one of my other friends assistants that is married. Not sure if he's fukked her yet, but her behavior IS NOT appropriate for a married woman. If I said she was sucking face with him in public it would be an understatement.

Don't think these are trailer trash ho's either. These are good looking, intelligent, professional women with great personalities.

I'm telling you, I am rapidly losing my faith in humanity from the things see on a weekly basis!

Saturday night I met some friends at a club. Just so happens that one of the girls there was a chick that took a liking to me a couple of years ago. She sees me walk in and immediately grabs me and pulls me to her. She starts asking me "What would happen if I took you off the player market?". I said "Last time I saw you you said you had a boyfriend. What happened with that?". To which she adamantly replied "I do but it's STRICTLY out of convenience!" She must have said that three more times before the end of the night.

She goes on to tell me that I am "fukking gorgeous" and starts asking me if I have ever been attracted to her "for a relationship or otherwise". She was even getting REAL close to grabbing my manhood right there in the club.

I tried asking her about her new teaching career and all she could think about was hooking up with me, even though her boyfriend was probably sitting at home wondering what the hell his woman is doing. Flattering, but she isn't my type so I didn't pursue anything.

Fellas.....PLAY WITH WOMEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

Fellas.....PLAY WITH WOMEN AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Yeah. Words to live by. I don't let it bother me. I assume if the b1tch cheats on me the dude must have had some serious game and I commend him for that. Plus, I KNOW she won't do better than me and I also KNOW that I can do better than her.

Ego - Check.

 

[Captain Ramen]

1.Latinoman's advice is spot on.
2.Avoid the ones with a ring or end up in a "Crime of Passion". People get killed over this all the time.
3.There are FAR too many single women to waste time on one(or 3) that is already taken.
4.If you do find yourself with a taken woman or an easy woman, remember "She's not your girlfriend. It's just your turn."

 

[Latinoman]

Yeah. Words to live by. I don't let it bother me. I assume if the b1tch cheats on me the dude must have had some serious game and I commend him for that. .

IF a woman cheats on me...it would bother me. And it should because I was disrespected. And also, because I failed to detect something about her.

However, I will end the relationship there and move on. As the respect from others (men and women alike) will depend on what I do after she cheats on me.

I would never feel that the guy had more game than me. Here is the thing...we are not perfect. And sometimes we might pick a very low quality woman without knowing it. If you have a lot of experience, you would be able to detect the younger ones, but as a woman matures, she gets better on hiding their bad qualities and some of those qualities can be overlooked by a less experience men or by a man that was not paying too much attention.

Now, some DJs know what they are getting into and they do so knowing the risks. I know of DJs that hook up with women that although might not cheat, they could still have the potential to make his life miserable. But they do that knowing the risks and possible consequences.

When a woman cheats on her good man (and I'm talking about "good man" as a man that has his stuff together and should not be confused with the "nice guy") is NOT because the other guy is "better"...it is because she is LOW quality and lack the judgment to see that.

 

[jimmyb]

STR8UP -
Your observations/experiences sound very similar to the point I was trying to convey with my experiences. A lot of these women out there are in fact beautiful, intelligent, etc, not trashy *****s. There are two breeds, girls that are out there just to get with a bunch of dudes, and desirable women that have their secret double lives.

You guys definitely hit the nail on the head reenforcing that when encountering women of such history, you take your turn, and move on. (Great piece of advice, Captain Ramen). I feel after all the years of reading these forums, it's one of the most ignored pieces of advice when it comes down to it. People preach left and right, "This is not the one, move on", but how often do we read about or find ourselves caught up in the moment thinking we're different? I agree that most of the readers here are above AFC, but sometimes even we find ourselves caught up in AFC actions (which is why we come here to get a swift boot! )

 

[Latinoman]

People preach left and right, "This is not the one, move on", but how often do we read about or find ourselves caught up in the moment thinking we're different?

I am different. But that does not change certain things in life.

• The "likelihood" of a woman that cheated before, cheating again.
• The "likelihood" of a woman that is 35+ years of age AND 5+ years older than you when you first met her having so much issue and drama.
• The "likelihood" of a single mother with small children looking for a "dad" for her kids.
• The "likelihood" of a woman that was degrading herself sexually, doing that again (by cheating) when things does not go her way.
• The "likelihood" of a woman that had lot of economical and money issues, reverting to that behavior.
• The "likelihood" of a woman that had alcohol/drugs or any other addictions reverting back to those addictions
• The "likelihood" of 'Dad's little Princess' becoming very needy and literally a great pain in the azz.

And more...much more.

And I use the term "likelihood" because there are exceptions to the rule. But I would NOT gamble my health, career, peace, and happiness on that.

And yes, a DJ knows about "likelihood" and the possible consequences if he gets involved. He might pull it off if he keeps that woman happy without regard to HIS own happiness (without regard to his career, health, friends, etc.) or by accepting the risks and consequences. Is that worthy? It comes down to what the DJ wants. And with DJ...I truly mean DJ. To the point that I could only probably count 10-15 in the ENTIRE Sosuave.net.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

However, there are two flaws in your reply: 1) Saying that two of them are single mothers, because two of them are not.

Maybe I'm confused, but what part of single mommie am I missing here?

Female A:

A is a young lady, mid-20's. A has a boyfriend and child.

Female C:

C is in her early 20's. She has a boyfriend and a child.

2) They expressed interest with me, not me with them, initially. I believe they observed my normal behavior to themselves and others, I did not single any of them out to flirt with them.

Yes, but you entertained their advances. I'm not saying you did anything wrong, or that the behaviors you displayed didn't attract them (they probably did), but even if they initially pursued you, their personal conditions are what is dictating that response.

Hey, I'm all for you spinning plates, BF or not, but don't fall into the trap of prefering the ease of hooking up with women like this to meeting single, childless women because they're more challenging.

 

[Latinoman]

If a woman has a Ring. She is technically speaking...not available. She is either married or ready to be. Which means that technically, she is telling the World that she is not available as she is going to have "the rest of her life with the man" that she is going to married or already married.

Now, if she is opening her legs (even with a ring)...that's another thing. That simply makes her an adulterous. Sometimes, having legal consequences.

But if a woman does NOT have a ring (even if she has a boyfriend), that's a clear sign that she has not secured the "rest of her life with the man" thing. She is not committed to a lifehood of commitment to that one man. She is indeed available for ANOTHER man to make that commitment.

 

[lookyoung]

Great advice latino man. Your money.

I have never banged a married woman. I have had quite a few opportunities but never felt a strong attraction towards them, and morally I always though its not right. I have banged quite a few girls with boyfriends however. Usually from my real life experiences it seems that a girl will usually cheat on her boyfriend if.

1. If he doesn't give her attention. Doesn't take her anywhere and the relationship becomes boring. This is the type of guy who stays home all the time.

2. He never fvcks her. I know it sounds crazy but i have met a few girls that say there husband or boyfriend never fvcks them. This is the type of guy that is bored of her and coud be fvcking another woman.

3. A total player a guy that cheats on her all the time. Always out with his friends. With this type of guy she will fvck another guy but will usually go back to the player if he is ready to commit.

4. A guy that is a total AFC. She ended up with this guy because she saw him as a provider, low self esteem, religion, what ever the case may be. The Afc doesn't turn her on physically, has no social status, and is not confident. This type of guy will get played on left and right. The woman will fvck another guy in his bed.

These are the 4 types of guys that get cheated on the most.


Very rarely if a woman is satisified sexually, mentally, emotionally will they cheat on you. Unless they are a head case- Bipolar, sexually abused when younger, father figure issues, self esteem issues. A girl with good head on her shoulders will not cheat if these three things are met.

 

[jimmyb]

Maybe I'm confused, but what part of single mommie am I missing here?

Rollo, I see where you're coming from now. I didn't know you were considering girls with boyfriends "single". Misunderstanding.

 

[bigjohnson]

Maybe I'm confused, but what part of single mommie am I missing here?

LOL. I had the same question, the only thing I can think is that in his (wrong) mind maybe the fact that they have a BF makes them not single? Women like this, with young kids at home, are about as hard to attract as flies to shyt.

Not saying they're not good, or not worth it - that depends on a lot of factors. But the fact that they are flocking to him isn't indicative of "game" IMO. Chicks like this will always be looking for some guy to support and raise their (probably)alpha-spawn kids.

It's the old joke - you might as well be the alpha, because either way you're gonna be raising his kids.

 

[Latinoman]

Very rarely if a woman is satisified sexually, mentally, emotionally will they cheat on you. Unless they are a head case- Bipolar, sexually abused when younger, father figure issues, self esteem issues. A girl with good head on her shoulders will not cheat if these three things are met.

Sorry, I'm rewritting my response to this quote.

See post #22.

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

When a woman cheats on her good man (and I'm talking about "good man" as a man that has his stuff together and should not be confused with the "nice guy") is NOT because the other guy is "better"...it is because she is LOW quality and lack the judgment to see that.

This is pretty much what I was alluding to. I consider myself the good guy, and yeah, I know the diff. David D uses good guy differently from nice guy. Although I haven't been cheated on to the best of my knowledge, this is how I intend to handle it.