(NOTE: This post ended up being longer than I expected, MUCH LONGER. "You should have divided it in many posts." Why write a galaxy of posts when one article ighth Girl[/b]
Nice guys vs. jerks isn't the real issue here, it is all about confidence. The major difference between nice guys and jerks is this: if a nice guy has the guts to approach a woman who has caught his attention, he is so worried about saying the -Jerk controversy. Just want to confirm some of the claims with first-hand experience.
Listen to this one. He describes why even ugly guys get the beautiful babes.
I'm 22, an Aerospace Graduate student and considered myself in the past to be a nice guy, and still a nice guy. Recently, I'm working weekends as a bouncer. (I'm a fully qualified Ju-Jitsu 1st Dan Black Belt, but getting some free sex on the side is part of my agenda too). The truth is I can't keep the women off me. I don't know how many numbers I'm gathering, cause I cant keep track. Why not before when I was a nice-guy and concerned for my female friends?
My reasoning is that the theory of Male Dominance/Machoness or jerkiness is in effect. One girl even spelled it out for me the other night at this club I was working. Her words were something to the effect of: "90% of girls would go out with you because you're the bouncer, but you're also really good looking and sweet," or something like this.
It is STRENGTH women are attracted to. But where does this strength come from? Why do guys love crushing their bodies in the gym or in sports? It is the testosterone.
Well, now that I think about it, she's right. I see fat, ugly, bouncers who just got out of jail picking up girls all the time, whereas they wouldn't stand a chance if they weren't bouncers.... why? Because they're "tough-guys."
And as we see, this also explains why UGLY guys get the beautiful girls. It has nothing to do with confidence; it has everything to do with testosterone. Some guys can be very confidant with debates, with presentations, etc. But get them in front of a woman and they freeze. Whereas some guys cannot do all the former but know EXACTLY what to do when around women.
In my case, I am both very polite and considerate (towards women and men, except on a bad day, when I don't give a f**k).
Seeing this it seems to turn them on. It's the mixed signal theory where women see that you're a 'tough guy' and a 'nice guy' at the same time - the classic Humphrey Bogart thing.
SO the bottom line is: Be tough (or if you're not, look tough and act tough). This isn't to say become a bouncer, because it is not only dangerous and risky, but also very foolish, and not worth it, unless you have the skill. Even then. Personally, I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so I don't mind.
Another tip - flaunt the things you're good at or like to do, or your accomplishments. But don't lie, so that upon confrontation, you're open-jawed. (i.e. I'm a pilot, and I mention this to chicks I date because I love flying and it's a part of me. It's my only hobby. And it's something not all do and so is an attention getter.)
Hope this helps. We all have a lot to learn so don't worry, you'll get there if you try. It's a matter of educating yourself about these things. I believe and I'm far from it, but the 'real Don Juans' (like the movies) have learned many hard lessons and have keenly observed others and the mistakes they make. It's like Aviation. You don't want to be in the NTSB accident report. You want to read it and learn from other's mistakes. Good luck !!
Third Male
Well here is my two cents worth and it's going to piss off most of the chicks and a lot of wimpy men.
Wimpy men! That perfectly describes this guys who are scared of their sexuality, of the effects their testosterone might have on them.
Girls do like jerks, especially the pretty girls (fair or not you fellows know the pretty ones are the ones we want).
PRECISELY!
And these girls can have anyone they want, so they deserve no sympathy when they get treated like dirt. Ladies, please spare me the fecal matter about how you don't know he is a jerk. Guys if you are a shoulder to cry on for these women you are a bunch of damn fools.
Yes!
What I really get tired of hearing is that when women get older they become more attracted to nice guys. This is true only if she has gained 100lbs,has finally divorced the jerk, and has a couple of his kids she needs some sucker to help support.
Exactly!
Even then she will secretly always want him back. It happens to me constantly, and these chicks can go to hell as
Several of the guys in the 'health and fitness' forum we never hear from in the other forums. WHY? Because they know they don't need philosophies.
Listen to Anthony Ellis of the skinnyguy.net who says:
You have to have that drive and determination, and the change has to come from within. All the exterior things they don't mean much. You want to change the way you see life. You want to change your relationships. You want to make your workplace better. You want to be happier.
But Mr. Ellis, who went from scrawny guy to impressive muscle guy, I have noticed people who discovered that when they can change their bodies, they can change their whole lives. Did you notice that?
I'm definitely more confident. I believe in myself a lot more. I feel I can do other things I would never have thought to do before. I'm not afraid to be out at night, and that's a big deal for me. I enjoy the city so much more. I'm a part of it now.
And doing this is not brain surgery; I didn't save someone's life. But I improved my life, which is very difficult to do.
How many people are trying to lose fat? How many are trying to gain muscle? How many people are trying to get control of their lives? I have, and I feel empowered. I have no doubt any direction I choose to take my life will be successful.
You've kept this up for about a year now. You've got the solid muscle mass, a great physique, a great outlook, but what does long-term success mean to you? Is this going to be part of it?
This is definitely part of my life now. It's a permanent fixture. I may make slight adjustments, but once you go on this trip, there's no return ticket. You don't want to go back. It's like going to Hawaii. You don't want to come back because you have seen the other side. Once you get going, once you get the momentum going, once you start looking better, once you start feeling better, you don't want to stop. You want to keep exercising, to keep looking good and feeling good.
What do you tell people who don't believe this is possible?
When I meet people with that type of attitude people who say, "That's not possible" I tell them, "For you it's not possible because you don't believe it. If you don't believe you can do it, you can't."
I think they need to believe it before it will work for them. When they open their minds, things are going to start happening. Doors are going to start opening. They see the reality of the situation.
It's absolutely 100% necessary to believe you can do it. I mean really believe it deep down inside.
I've come to realize that most of what happens to you is a result of you. It all comes from inside. Everything you do, everything you are, how you handle everything that happens to you is your responsibility. So if you want to change, look inside. When you decide to change from the inside, the outside will fall into place.
For as you think, you shall become. This is why the focus must always remain ON YOU.
Some other things:
Joining a Sport
Every male needs good 'ol competition. Ever notice why the 'jocks' get the girls? Perhaps its because their testosterone levels shoot up or at least appear to?
Eating More
For skinny guys, this is a must. It strengthens the body.
Don't take yourself so seriously
This is for the shy and hesitant guys. You need to get over the fact that the world does not revolve around you. It never has and never will. No one will care if you hit on a chick. No one will care if you make a move on her. Do not rationalize away your desires.
Start doing some of the things the 'awful' jerks do.
Try getting on stage and being some rock star. Your testosterone levels will shoot up. Try acting. Since projection is all, your levels of testosterone will rise. Women will naturally sense it (and also because it will spring off other actions).
A New Start
Let us consider the Nice Guy vs. Jerk debate to be over. The Nice Guy is a male who is afraid or doesn't embrace his
testosterone. The Jerk should be seen as the Testosteronized Male.
What we understand, we have power to use. What we do not understand, it has power to use us.
For we possess the ability to restart our lives over again. Be not scared (by acting nice or relying on mental tricks) to do what your testosterone was put there to make you do.
Be natural = Be Man
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POOK
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WildThang: Pook is talking crap.
Bashful: Don't listen to Pook!
blitzx: His popularity is his writing style. Pook doesn't post anything new.
cyclonus: Pook is a hypocrite. An illogical prophet...
CrazyRapala: That damn damn Pook!
Jake Steed: and some guy named Pook who has risen to godlike status...
[This message has been edited by Pook (edited 11-21-2002).]
I at first found this to be "genius," but I have a few questions that I would like someone to sensibly answer, and feel that they are being totally rightous when doing so. First of all, he says, a beautiful woman:, what makes a woman beautiful? Second, I am married to a man who does have a lot of that mascular stuff, but he is also a sweet, sensitive person down inside. I hate that mascular show he puts on, because I know although he wants to attract me with it, it is fake.
