The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[DreamAgain]

5:30am text:

‘The texts you saw that night Mary and I went out. We were just sitting at the hotel bar just chatting with the people around us making conversation. We were both very clear about the fact we were in relationships. I spoke about our trip to boston and how I have the best guy and you made me so happy. When we were leaving to go to our rooms to bed the Brazilian guy asked for Mary’s Instagram and she denied him. That was what that text thread was about. Mary said that other guy was low key cute and I wrote he wasn’t my type and he’s not. I wrote that the Brazilian looked good for 42 and our friend would have been interested in him and she would have been. I was and always have been 100 percent faithful to you in this relationship.

I didn’t delete the dm last week. I checked last week after you dropped me off for it and couldn’t find it. Which is why I said I don’t have it before I even looked for it when we were sitting on the couch. I finally remembered why i didn’t have the message, I never even opened the dm I blocked him from my story (which is why I thought I originally had him gone in the first place) and deleted the thread bc I didn’t want the notification there.I never opened it or acknowledged it. I literally forgot he existed. Never did I think I would need that to show you however many months later. I’m sorry I don’t have it to show you now.

I’m sorry that my actions created suspicion where there didn’t need to be. You’ve asked me to be Open and honest with you and I am. I believe we can work through this if you still want to but I couldn’t just let things end without you at least hearing that. ‘

Ah, you can see this one has a fair amount of skill in the dark arts. You aren't dealing with a rookie here.

Please, for the love of god, do not fall for this bait. Do not respond, and move on with your life.

 

[Lotus Effect]

113 Days

Deleted and blocked her from instagram, alongside with all her family members.
After that, I decided deleting my instagram altogether, since it has not helped me in any way whatsover for this past almost 4 months.

All I did was posting some eventual cool story to see if she would see it. She did. She saw all of my stories. Nothing more.
Pretty lame move, AFC as F.

So, with a push from my roomate, I cut the evil by it's source.

It is not that I was checking her page, or anything like that, but it was like a ghost, always lurking about.

It was a hard move, since I've know her since forever, and cutting she and her family off my life like that made me sad, knowing that I will never see and hear from them again, and most importantly, vice versa, since I had a desire of her seeing my progress (ultimate AFC desire).

 

[soulforge]

113 Days

Deleted and blocked her from instagram, alongside with all her family members.
After that, I decided deleting my instagram altogether, since it has not helped me in any way whatsover for this past almost 4 months.

All I did was posting some eventual cool story to see if she would see it. She did. She saw all of my stories. Nothing more.
Pretty lame move, AFC as F.

So, with a push from my roomate, I cut the evil by it's source.

It is not that I was checking her page, or anything like that, but it was like a ghost, always lurking about.

It was a hard move, since I've know her since forever, and cutting she and her family off my life like that made me sad, knowing that I will never see and hear from them again, and most importantly, vice versa, since I had a desire of her seeing my progress (ultimate AFC desire).

Cutting them off social media should be the very first thing you do, immediately after a break up.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Cutting them off social media should be the very first thing you do, immediately after a break up.

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

 

[tightgrp]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

That which does not kill you ... Find a way to make yourself independently resilient. Eliminate weakness. Bear as much as you can alone. It will make you stronger.

 

[Mertz09]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

Hey Dude. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Take it from an old-timer. This same thing has happened to me several times and they always came back. Only thing is... I was over them and didn't care enough to take them back (Including my ex-wife a few years ago) I HAD MOVED ON. and remember what the Great Yogi Berra said "IT ANINT OVER TILL IT'S OVER".

I was doing No Contact back in the 80's

 

[Lotus Effect]

Thanks mate.

And I gotta tell you, I did beared way too damn much by myself.

I got in Portugal in August, broke with the chick in September, same day I crashed against a tree.

Got surgery on my collar bone, the girl never showed up to see if I was alive. Called someday just to check. Last time we spoke.

After that, I found that the my femur died, got another surgery, which incapacitaded me. I wasnt able to get up from the bed because of the pain, but I had to eventually to use the bathroom or to cook. So I starved for a long while. Lost 12 pounds.

Had to pay for the bike, which was a rental, 3k Euros.
And was cut off payment from my company because Im in medical leave. So no money as well

All of this, with no friends, family or girl.
In a place where I did not know a single person.
At winter.

I have never ever in my entire life felt so sh(tty and so damn lonely.

Tought sh(t.

Only now things are falling into place, now that the doc allowed me swimming and I moved to a new house, with a flatmate, proper fellow.

What doesnt kill you, can almost kill you. I know people that took their lifes for less.

Well, not me! I'm growing stronger

 

[Mertz09]

Thanks mate.

And I gotta tell you, I did beared way too damn much by myself.

I got in Portugal in August, broke with the chick in September, same day I crashed against a tree.

Got surgery on my collar bone, the girl never showed up to see if I was alive. Called someday just to check. Last time we spoke.

After that, I found that the my femur died, got another surgery, which incapacitaded me. I wasnt able to get up from the bed because of the pain, but I had to eventually to use the bathroom or to cook. So I starved for a long while. Lost 12 pounds.

Had to pay for the bike, which was a rental, 3k Euros.
And was cut off payment from my company because Im in medical leave. So no money as well

All of this, with no friends, family or girl.
In a place where I did not know a single person.
At winter.

I have never ever in my entire life felt so sh(tty and so damn lonely.

Tought sh(t.

Only now things are falling into place, now that the doc allowed me swimming and I moved to a new house, with a flatmate, proper fellow.

What doesnt kill you, can almost kill you. I know people that took their lifes for less.

Well, not me! I'm growing stronger

Mate... You must be an Aussie or from S Africa? Hang in there Bro! Im new on here but really like this IT!

 

[Lotus Effect]

You got the hemisphere right!

But nope, I'm from Brazil!

 

[soulforge]

I know...

i kept her there in order for her to see my ascend .................
(which still hasn't happened, since I've only began walking without crutches this week)

In fact, I didn't want to loose the opportunity for one day she regret and come back crawling

aka, the ultimate AFC.

Anyway, now it's done, and now I have to face the fact that whatever I do, won't affect her (it wasnt affecting anyway)

And since I've know her since we are kids, cutting ties hurt a different kind of hurt, 'cause now I know I've lost contact with that person for the rest of my life.

I know this is extreme loser mindset, so, in the end, it is good that I've finally done it. Now I have space to actually move on.

Im only giving myself a break, because of the motorbike accident, that got me 4 months in bed, in an alien country, with zero friends, poor diet and no exercise.

Now I have friends, I started swiming and Im living with a flatmate... So things are improving.

But it is too much sh?t for a single dude to bear alone

Understandable.. You wanted her to see that you are doing better without her.

However it's unlikely she would care only a couple of weeks after the break up. Girls usually experience a change of feelings, months or even years down the line.

Do you think your reaction was mostly rooted in the loss of power?

I mean she ended it with you right.. Would you be compeled to try and prove anything to her, through social media if in-fact you had dumped her?

I suppose when you have been dumped/discarded you are put in a powerless position and the ego takes a hit.

 

[Lotus Effect]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

 

[Mertz09]

It is. Try not to dwell on what has been. Look forward my friend.

 

[soulforge]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

It's actually going off the grid completely that will likely more prompt her to reach out.

 

[DreamAgain]

yeah, i agree.

and i know that they only change their hearts down the line.

the thing that is hurting me, is that now that ive deleted her, there is no way for her to have a change of heart, since she will not see anything, cause im off grid.

so those long years, are off limits now, and i have to live with that.

might be good though

Think about it like this. When you are sick, there is a virus in your body. What is the only way to get better? All traces of the virus need to be eliminated.

By not blocking her, you leave traces of the virus in you, which can multiply and spread, affecting you physically and mentally. The body is directly tied to the mind. The anxiety that starts in the mind will manifest physically in your body, and her presence in your life, even through digital means, is enough to do this.

You did the right thing, I was in your shoes before and blocking was the correct decision. It allowed me to move on, meet other women, improve my life.

 

[soulforge]

Think about it like this. When you are sick, there is a virus in your body. What is the only way to get better? All traces of the virus need to be eliminated.

By not blocking her, you leave traces of the virus in you, which can multiply and spread, affecting you physically and mentally. The body is directly tied to the mind. The anxiety that starts in the mind will manifest physically in your body, and her presence in your life, even through digital means, is enough to do this.

You did the right thing, I was in your shoes before and blocking was the correct decision. It allowed me to move on, meet other women, improve my life.

Great analogy. And actually the only way you can move on.

Every reminant of that person must be purged from your life.

 

[Foe]

Day 2:
Got a email (blocked but still see it in spam) with a bunch of explicate pictures asking me to come over. I ignored it but then she email pleading with me to call her.

So I do (/facepalm). She tells me she loves me etc etc, wants me to come over for one night. I ask her if shes able to tell the truth and she says yes, so I ask, those pictures you sent me you sent to someone else too right. I already know the answer but she confirms that she sent it to a guy she "hasnt even kissed yet and reminds her of me".

I get pissed, hang up and go back to NC. The gall of this chick, basically uses me as a backup for whatever response she didn't receive from the other guy. Ive felt like **** for the past couple of days, apparently she can still effect me, learn from my mistakes keep NC.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Eliminate weakness
Kill the Walt Disney fantasy
Grow up
Live the real life

that’s what I thought today

I’ve lived with her
It was my childhood fantasy. Check!

done that, now it is time to move on

 

[soulforge]

Day 2:
Got a email (blocked but still see it in spam) with a bunch of explicate pictures asking me to come over. I ignored it but then she email pleading with me to call her.

So I do (/facepalm). She tells me she loves me etc etc, wants me to come over for one night. I ask her if shes able to tell the truth and she says yes, so I ask, those pictures you sent me you sent to someone else too right. I already know the answer but she confirms that she sent it to a guy she "hasnt even kissed yet and reminds her of me".

I get pissed, hang up and go back to NC. The gall of this chick, basically uses me as a backup for whatever response she didn't receive from the other guy. Ive felt like **** for the past couple of days, apparently she can still effect me, learn from my mistakes keep NC.

What the hell dude... You must enjoy pain and torturing yourself.

Have you not been going back & forth with this girl for months now?

 

[Foe]

What the hell dude... You must enjoy pain and torturing yourself.

Have you not been going back & forth with this girl for months now?

Years bro........Got that full trauma bond going.

 

[soulforge]

The purpose of No Contact is to permanently move on.

Men try to use NC to get the chick back. Once NC is activated, delete, block and permanently NEXT. No number. No photos. No messages. No emails. No calls. No contact.

100%

Move the F on... You came into this world on your own, you will likely leave on your own.