The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[5chm1dd1]

Well, my HB7-8 Chinese chick ghosted me.

Whatever, had some nice s3x and a good time, off to the next b1tch (which is a 20 yo HB7)

Life's good, the weather is finally improving and I haven't wasted any serious thought on my ex in weeks.

 

[soulforge]

Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??

 

[5chm1dd1]

Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??

Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.

 

[soulforge]

Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.

Stay strong bro, only temporary.

Ask yourself why you think you can't do better than that b#tch. I mean, really? Can't do better than a chick that wasn't worth your time or energy in the first place?

For me personally, it's not that another chick blew her away. It was myself, as soon as I understood that I'm way too good for her, and have so much more to offer than she is worthy of.

I hear you man, other than her looks and maybe her being quite successful.. she wasn't a great character man..

She did not act or behave like a good girlfriend.. many red flags, and drama.. disrespect..

In between all that chit off course there was some very good fun times too.. and I suppose its the good times that I miss..

But overall dumping her was the only option and the right option.. there was no safe future with this chick

 

[Roober]

Well the dating game is kicking my ass at the moment.. So today missing my ex pretty bad.. been having stupid thoughts of wanting her back..

how many have you experienced this? this period where you feel you cannot do better, or you will never meet anyone again with that connection?

then months down the line, some girl comes along, that blows your ex away??

Work on yourself! Do you see the problem with the above statement? You are depending on your happiness from other people. Happiness HAS TO come from YOU! It's your job to find it.

I hear you man, other than her looks and maybe her being quite successful.. she wasn't a great character man..

She did not act or behave like a good girlfriend.. many red flags, and drama.. disrespect..

In between all that chit off course there was some very good fun times too.. and I suppose its the good times that I miss..

But overall dumping her was the only option and the right option.. there was no safe future with this chick

Still working on your inner game? What have you done since May 8th when I suggested this last time, 11 days ago? I believe you are coming up on the 4 month post-breakup mark now...?

Get out there, enjoy life, have a good time... There are 3 billion women waiting for you!

 

[soulforge]

Work on yourself! Do you see the problem with the above statement? You are depending on your happiness from other people. Happiness HAS TO come from YOU! It's your job to find it.



Still working on your inner game? What have you done since May 8th when I suggested this last time, 11 days ago? I believe you are coming up on the 4 month post-breakup mark now...?

Get out there, enjoy life, have a good time... There are 3 billion women waiting for you!

Hey man since we last spoke.. i have been working 5 days a week... but have been hitting the gym seriously hard.

Made some gains, looking bigger and stronger.. getting alot of respect from people.

The only major problem in my life i have is debt and financial problems.. if and when i can improve these, then I feel I will be in a better place..

I have had a couple of dates.. one that I really fancied, but it fizzled out...

Just need to keep hitting the gym, looking and feeling better.. and keep dating woman, till a good one comes along.

 

[Carpathian]

But when I do find a better quality woman.. I will probably not give a rats ass about mt ex

Respectfully, I think you are wrong there brother.....
True, you will find love, happiness and tenderness again with a woman you love. But we do not just "forget' in the way you imply. The ex casts a very long shadow, indeed an infinitely long one. We come to terms with it and live with it and we live and love again. But we do not forget and if you loved that ex we DO care about them. To care is to be human.

 

[Reboot2017]

The only major problem in my life i have is debt and financial problems.. if and when i can improve these, then I feel I will be in a better place..

I echo your sentiment. Perhaps you are using women to escape from this man. I believe you get this sorted out, you will automatically get over your ex. I share you sentiment, for me, I feel isolated in my adopted country as I am unable to speak the local language. Therefore, I obsess about my ex who "choose" me despite this flaw. Having recognize that, I have been working on it and for the first time in a long time, I feel in control of things and have been thinking less and less about her.

 

[Reboot2017]

Day 27 of NC. Time flies... I feel I am close to half way there just like the number of days. There are times when I feel bad about things in general and I really feel the need to reach out to her. She has been sending me emails lately. The more recent one was on my birthday and yesterday. Same nonsense as before ie I miss you and want you to be my beta orbiter... I am glad to say, I ignored all of it and deleted them. The point about fixing my life sticks with me. Its lonely and its painful especially when I see the guys around me at a level where I want to be. I spent the loneliest birthday ever which really rammed home this point... However, I remind myself that this is temporary. Might take years but at least the pursuit of it is worthwhile.

Hang in there brothers... Trust in the system.

Side note, I number closed a really cute HB7. No big deal in the whole scheme of things I know but given my limited grasp of the language, I am patting myself on the back nevertheless. The path might be long but plenty of signs showing me I am on the right road.

 

[soulforge]

I think what bothers me the most is that, I stayed with this woman for 18 months, even tho she was clearly showing red flags from pretty much day one..

I even let her move in with me, which was a ridicules move.

I should only be giving my time and my attention and commitment to, women who are PROVING themselves to me..

I really should have checked out of this relationship so much sooner...

I initially dumped this woman 3 months into the relationship, for disrespect.. If I had stuck to my decision. I would not even be thinking about her right now!

I guess this was a very important lesson I needed to learn

in the future I know never to tolerate bad behaviour and only commit to woman who are PROVING themselves

 

[RatedR]

9 MONTHS OF NO CONTACT!!!

Yes, you read that right, am on 9 months no contact with ex-girlfriend of 3+ years relationship. I bumped into her about 3 weeks ago, she looked at me, locked eyes and then took off. Not a smile, not a "Hi", nothing...nada! She got into her car and drove off.

Thats when I knew, that biatch had me going for 3 years. All fake promises, all fake future!! All fake. I don't hate her, far from that, I just feel, I invested 3 years of my life into a person I thought I was going to marry only to find out that it was all just an illusion. I broke up with her btw.

From time to time I miss her (i.e at the start of NC, it was tough). But I only had positive thoughts in my mind. Everytime I wake up in the morning, I say to myself...I am going to make it through this. I won't break down, I won't fall again...and I will CERTAINLY find someone worth my time and attention. And, yes sometime, I think that one day or the other, she will text me because am the BEST guy she will ever have in her life. Every guy she will be with, will be and AM 100% sure, below my level.

The hardest thing in this is that you can't erase memories. Everywhere I went with her, I remember the good times we had. I have another girl at the moment but its not as intense with my ex. There is no feeling, no attention, no compagnionship like I had with her. But she's fun to be with...thats it!

So yeah, I was checking out pictures of us yesterday with all the small notes etc that she used to send me....as soon as I catch myself thinking of this, I think of the bad part of our relationship...all the negative stuff...and that face when I saw her 3 weeks ago.

So guys, power through. Its hard, even after 9 months...but stay strong.

Remember, and always remember, THERE IS ALWAYS A BETTER ONE on the list, you just need to sort your head & heart out, and find her. She will come, I know she will...like its bound to happen. I am on the search too..until then...stay sauve!

Yours truly,

RatedR

 

[Reboot2017]

So common. I do this all the time, sometimes consciously, really frustrating. "I'm not happy with X facet of life but at least I can attract women!" Wrong mindset and truth is if there is a bigger issue you are not addressing then you will fail with women too, or at least not be equipped to hand the manipulation and fallout of the game. They are a crutch.

Amen... I imagine we all like to come to the stage where we are indifferent to them being in our lives. If they are there, great, if not, still great. Long tough road to get to there esp after years of being plugged in. But it starts this year.

Day 30 of NC. Half way through the challenge. Yay! I feel better everyday and yes I do slide backwards sometimes. I miss her. I hate her. I am ecstatic to be on my own again. It cycles quite a bit. But overall, I feel positive. A far cry from a couple of weeks ago. One thing that is getting clearer everyday is the importance of working on myself. All issues seems to stem from me rather than her. She was just a convenient distraction from the true source of the problem and now that I cleared that up, I feel working on myself seems to ease the wound of her loss. That is the only thing that helps to be honest.

In any case, I can already see the home stretch. I hope you guys are holding the line too. Peace.

 

[resilient]

I do slide backwards sometimes. I miss her. I hate her.

Always remember the plate she used to be (especially with you) is not who she is now. Often that missing feeling is just idealization that doesn't mean much to us in the present.

I am ecstatic to be on my own again. It cycles quite a bit. But overall, I feel positive.

Good. Keep moving forward!

She was just a convenient distraction from the true source of the problem and now that I cleared that up, I feel working on myself seems to ease the wound of her loss.

Also good that you recognized that. An investment in yourself always yields the highest dividends. You can go no wrong with self-improvement. You're learning... you make mistakes and you turn that into wisdom. Experience is the best teacher.

Day 44
Getting closer to day 60 which is awesome. I went NoFap (hard-mode) 13 days ago and am starting to notice some improvements. Aiming for 30 days. I'll reassess then if I want to go 90 days. Posture has improved. I feel more confident in my own skin. I care less about what others think. My sense of humor has improved immensely surprisingly and I crack more jokes than I have in a long time. Laughter is awesome and an amazing outlet for healing. Thankful to be single and not have any plates. I'm not sweating about interest level, game, etc. etc. so I feel more free and relaxed.

One area I'm struggling in though is an online prerequisite course for grad school requirement. However, I'm determined to pass it with better studying habits. Still eating and lifting more. I'm up to 149 pounds... I'm aiming to get up to 165 in the next six weeks (might have to start calorie counting to make it happen).

 

[Reboot2017]

An investment in yourself always yields the highest dividends. You can go no wrong with self-improvement. You're learning... you make mistakes and you turn that into wisdom. Experience is the best teacher.

I cannot agree more on this. I am working on myself full time now. Staying away from game too. Kinda hard when it is summer over here and the babes look really nice in their dresses. Ah well.

Posture has improved. I feel more confident in my own skin. I care less about what others think. My sense of humor has improved immensely surprisingly and I crack more jokes than I have in a long time. Laughter is awesome and an amazing outlet for healing. Thankful to be single and not have any plates.

Sounds like you got your groove back. And before the 60 days are done. Motivating to read that. Keep it up!

 

[soulforge]

Nearing 4 months of no contact.. still thinking about her every day.. but mostly the negatives, rather than wanting her back..

Upon reflection I see so many red flags, that I overlooked..

Seriously pizzed off about that.. what fukcs me off the most is, that this woman should never had been anything more than a fuk buddy..

I was mad to think, that I could have a LTR with a 50 year old bar girl, with a very bytchy selfish attitude..

On the positive.. i,m hitting the gym 5 days a week, physically improved loads.. and learnt a few important lessons along the way too

 

[Reykhel]

Nearing 4 months of no contact.. still thinking about her every day.. but mostly the negatives, rather than wanting her back..

Upon reflection I see so many red flags, that I overlooked..

Seriously pizzed off about that.. what fukcs me off the most is, that this woman should never had been anything more than a fuk buddy..

I was mad to think, that I could have a LTR with a 50 year old bar girl, with a very bytchy selfish attitude..

On the positive.. i,m hitting the gym 5 days a week, physically improved loads.. and learnt a few important lessons along the way too

Good man, you're ridding yourself off this malignant cvnt. Bravo.

Just an observation: You seem to be obsessing a lot, spending a lot of time going over the embers of the past. When we use the word
"should" in relation to the past, there's often an underlined self criticism implied. We are chastising ourselves. Another lash of the whip for
the self esteem for what we "should have done", but alas, didn't. Now if we replace the word "should" with "could" it's free of inner criticism and implies that we had a choice...."I could have, but I didn't. I'll know better the next time".

Learn the lessons from the past and move the fvck on. Only a ghost wallows in the past.

It serves us better to be present moment oriented with one healthy eye on the future. In other words, we set goals. We make five year plans, ten year plans etc. You have financial problems now. What is your plan in order to turn your finances around? where do you want to be financially in 5 years time? In ten years time? In twenty years time? So, what actions can you start to take TODAY to start moving you forward and towards your plan? What are you doing today that is contributing to your long term plan?

Write out 5-10 goals in key areas of your life. Plan long term. 5 or 10 year plans. Break them down into shorter term plans. Where do you need to be with each of your goals in 12 months to be on track? What actions do you need to start taking on a daily basis (present moment contributions) in order to move you forward?

Can you see how obsessing when it comes to your future and your future plans and who and where you want to be will serve you much better than obsessing about "mistakes" made with a washed up old sea hag.

Turn your obsessing to your advantage. What you focus on you give life and energy to.

You're putting too much importance into "other dates" and "getting over her", when you need to put the focus on you and your life and somehow the past just automatically starts to melt away. Like a giant iceberg, floating away from you.

You're going to the gym. Fantastic. But what are you doing to develop your mind. Your mental health. Your personal development.

We must keep the axe sharp in all aspects.

 

[soulforge]

Good man, you're ridding yourself off this malignant cvnt. Bravo.

Just an observation: You seem to be obsessing a lot, spending a lot of time going over the embers of the past. When we use the word
"should" in relation to the past, there's often an underlined self criticism implied. We are chastising ourselves. Another lash of the whip for
the self esteem for what we "should have done", but alas, didn't. Now if we replace the word "should" with "could" it's free of inner criticism and implies that we had a choice...."I could have, but I didn't. I'll know better the next time".

Learn the lessons from the past and move the fvck on. Only a ghost wallows in the past.

It serves us better to be present moment oriented with one healthy eye on the future. In other words, we set goals. We make five year plans, ten year plans etc. You have financial problems now. What is your plan in order to turn your finances around? where do you want to be financially in 5 years time? In ten years time? In twenty years time? So, what actions can you start to take TODAY to start moving you forward and towards your plan? What are you doing today that is contributing to your long term plan?

Write out 5-10 goals in key areas of your life. Plan long term. 5 or 10 year plans. Break them down into shorter term plans. Where do you need to be with each of your goals in 12 months to be on track? What actions do you need to start taking on a daily basis (present moment contributions) in order to move you forward?

Can you see how obsessing when it comes to your future and your future plans and who and where you want to be will serve you much better than obsessing about "mistakes" made with a washed up old sea hag.

Turn your obsessing to your advantage. What you focus on you give life and energy to.

You're putting too much importance into "other dates" and "getting over her", when you need to put the focus on you and your life and somehow the past just automatically starts to melt away. Like a giant iceberg, floating away from you.

You're going to the gym. Fantastic. But what are you doing to develop your mind. Your mental health. Your personal development.

We must keep the axe sharp in all aspects.

Hi mate, thank you for your lengthy reply.. Well my first and foremost goal is to leave this woman in the past.. I don't see any positives in any type of of relationship with her..

My main focus and goal in the next 2 years is to improve my financial situation..

I am currently full time employed and been in this job for 3 years..but it does not pay well.. also i have debts to clear..

So I have updated my cv employment record today, and will start to apply for better paid jobs..

My hope is to have a new job, then buy myself a new vehicle... and also redecorate my property to a good standard...

As for fitness and health.. things are going fantastic in the gym...

One thing I will be working on is, setting strict boundaries with woman.. and placing a much higher value for myself..

No bad behaviour or disrespect will be overlooked.. and screening better will be a MUST

In the mean time, I will keep her blocked.. keep going on NC and focus on calving out a new improved me!

 

[soulforge]

Its the holiday weekend here in th Uk.. so i can already feel its going to be a tough day..

Usually we would had been heading out, for the beach together etc..


I will have to soldier it out.. 4 NC i've come too far to give in now.

 

[Reboot2017]

I will have to soldier it out.. 4 NC i've come too far to give in now.

Keep going man... You probably do not realize it but it is darkest just before you reach the end. You are probably close to moving on permanently. Keep faith and lift.

Day 37 of NC. I stopped reading this forum every day. Another sign I am coming to grips with what happened and am moving on. I have actively taken charge of my life. One of the biggest sticking point for me was I was bored out of my skull with my work and it was stressing me out. So, I asked for a long break from it and moreover started looking for a job in Paris. If I move to the capital this year, life will change drastically. And that is exactly what the doctor ordered. A drastic change. Started working out again after 3 weeks of injury in the shoulder. Also dancing like there is no tomorrow. It relaxes me and fires a forgotten passion. Maybe that is it. I replaced thoughts of her with dance choreography.

I am far from game as you can get and sometimes the loneliness hits below the belt. Important thing is I can rationalize it out. I am working hard at being at peace with being on my own. I don't have all the answers yet. Not by a long shot. But am moving forward.

Oh yeah, she messaged my brother to ask about me. He did not bother replying. Blood always runs thicker than anything else... She been sending me emails and I have been pointedly ignoring them. I will get through this and I will be stronger for it...

Hope you guys are rocking under the summer skies without the clouds of the past...

 

[soulforge]

Keep going man... You probably do not realize it but it is darkest just before you reach the end. You are probably close to moving on permanently. Keep faith and lift.

Day 37 of NC. I stopped reading this forum every day. Another sign I am coming to grips with what happened and am moving on. I have actively taken charge of my life. One of the biggest sticking point for me was I was bored out of my skull with my work and it was stressing me out. So, I asked for a long break from it and moreover started looking for a job in Paris. If I move to the capital this year, life will change drastically. And that is exactly what the doctor ordered. A drastic change. Started working out again after 3 weeks of injury in the shoulder. Also dancing like there is no tomorrow. It relaxes me and fires a forgotten passion. Maybe that is it. I replaced thoughts of her with dance choreography.

I am far from game as you can get and sometimes the loneliness hits below the belt. Important thing is I can rationalize it out. I am working hard at being at peace with being on my own. I don't have all the answers yet. Not by a long shot. But am moving forward.

Oh yeah, she messaged my brother to ask about me. He did not bother replying. Blood always runs thicker than anything else... She been sending me emails and I have been pointedly ignoring them. I will get through this and I will be stronger for it...

Hope you guys are rocking under the summer skies without the clouds of the past...

Keep going my friend, the change of job will do you a world of good.. also if your not already... keep lifting, hitting the gym hard.. wiĺl really help you pull through