The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[way2smart]

"creepy line.."

ok, now you sound like a shaming butthurt 22 yr old. like my ex.

wtf was creepy about it. sure, it was a ****ty line - i was rattled.

it wasn't "creepy". that fukin word is used way too liberally around here.

It was creepy because she didn't appreciate it, also what makes it even more creepy is that she didn't want to kiss you. But you failed to read her interest level, she kept screaming at you "I am not interested", "I am not interested" and you went ahead and did it anyway. And I don't blame you, we've all been there.

And watch your attitude, we are not getting paid to give advice to you, remember that.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day I'm too lazy to count

That's a good sign in my title. It really doesn't hurt that bad, fellas. I haven't heard from her since she left me that voicemail over a week ago. Certainly, I still think about her from time to time but it's never with a desire to get back together with her. I just think about it every so often. Then I go about with my day.

I've got a date later tonight with a plate that I'm for sure banging. It's always nice to have a sure thing. No real attachment to this girl at all. We just randomly talk every so often and decide to meet up for drinks and bang it out.

I cannot stress how important it is to do NC. Seriously, I don't have her number and I don't have facebook. Her nor I are active on twitter so that isn't a problem. I got my sister-in-law to change my instagram password. Life is going great. Losing weight, kicking ass in school, dating other girls. Just outstanding and it's all due to NC. Funny thing is, when she was leaving for the last time she was talking about how I was going to block her number (I never even mentioned that) and I didn't have a FB or anyway to get in touch with me. That's exactly why I don't have them. I learned from my last breakup. Facebook free life is great. Anyways, she told me that me not having FB like every other person out there was just another small thing she liked about me.

I think it's naive of me to think she won't try and contact at some point in the future. I was always very good to her. No idea if I'd even take her back. The important thing to realize is that you can't HOPE she'll contact you. Destroy that neediness. Carve it from your soul and throw it away. You don't need anyone but yourself. Use this time to make yourself the best ****ing man around so you'll be attractive as **** to other women.

DO NOT WALLOW IN SELF PITY. Get out there and live this life. You'll never attract another woman again if you sit there and wallow. It is not attractive. I can only speak to this because I have done it before. Go. Be. The. ****ing. Man. Make this life your *****.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day something

Had an amazing day at work. Now I'm home with a whole wide open evening in front of me.

As far as the ex goes, I still have not heard from her and honestly it's relieving to not talk to her. It makes me think about her less which is nice because it frees my brain up to think about other things. I'm taking this really well so far especially coming from how I acted the past couple months.

The only trying to do is look forward. She's dead to me. She's in the past. I can't go back and get her. She gets nothing from me ever again. She had her shot and ****ed it up. Oh well. She was a great girlfriend up until she lied and it's actually nice to realize that I've proven to myself the quality of woman I can get. Now it's on to higher quality women that look better and treat me even better and want to suck on my balls.

Good day, gents! It's only up from here and she missed the ride. It ain't stopping.

 

[Heisenburger]

Guys, remember -

She gets:

No call
No text
No meet up
No 'hey, how are you keeping?'
No snapchat
No whatsapp
No flowers or gift
No FB like
No birthday greet
No random meet
No email

Nothing.

Be it a day, a week, a month, 60 days, a year, a decade whatever. She gets nothing from you. It's been. It's done. It's gone. She has officially ruined her chances with you.

And when she attempts to re-initiate contact with you ( which she will more than likely do because you have demonstrated a backbone and acted like a real man) for the sold purpose of regaining the remaining 1% ego boost that you took away from her ( because it's all about her ego) you simply repeat the above. She gets nothing.

Your time is more important than some lost chick and her bvllshlt games. Time will confirm that to you.

Now focus on your Career. Hobbies. Family and friends first and then charm the next chick with your enhanced standards and expectations.

Enjoy and have fun.

 

[Charmaine]

And when she attempts to re-initiate contact with you ( which she will more than likely do because you have demonstrated a backbone and acted like a real man) for the sold purpose of regaining the remaining 1% ego boost that you took away from her ( because it's all about her ego) you simply repeat the above. She gets nothing.

It is easier to get over someone by uglifying the person and convincing yourself that "it's all about her ego".

The reality is, it doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with ego. Sometimes you simply want to hear from that person again just because you miss the person so badly.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Day 2 weeks-ish

**** her

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Sometimes you simply want to hear from that person again just because you miss the person so badly.

It doesn't matter what you want. They left you. They don't care. They aren't calling. They don't want to be in your life. You MUST move on with yours.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

:crackup:

Guys, remember -

She gets:

No call
No text
No meet up
No 'hey, how are you keeping?'
No snapchat
No whatsapp
No flowers or gift
No FB like
No birthday greet
No random meet
No email

Nothing.

Be it a day, a week, a month, 60 days, a year, a decade whatever. She gets nothing from you. It's been. It's done. It's gone. She has officially ruined her chances with you.

And when she attempts to re-initiate contact with you ( which she will more than likely do because you have demonstrated a backbone and acted like a real man) for the sold purpose of regaining the remaining 1% ego boost that you took away from her ( because it's all about her ego) you simply repeat the above. She gets nothing.

Your time is more important than some lost chick and her bvllshlt games. Time will confirm that to you.

Now focus on your Career. Hobbies. Family and friends first and then charm the next chick with your enhanced standards and expectations.

Enjoy and have fun.

Been reading through this thread and saw it a while back. Killer advice. Way to bring it back.

 

[rsox28]

Just discovered this forum, I think at the right time. Girlfriend and I broke up last week, so have been nc for only 4 days. I've read a lot of the posts, and boy does it make sense, but I'm really struggling right now. A lot of it is just missing talking to her, making plans, wondering if she's thinking about me, etc. I so want to send a how was your weekend text, but I know how pathetic that would be so I'm posting here instead. There were some things I didn't like about her-not terribly warm or compassionate, for starters-so trying to focus on all that stuff and realize I'm better off.

 

[Yorkex]

Just discovered this forum, I think at the right time. Girlfriend and I broke up last week, so have been nc for only 4 days. I've read a lot of the posts, and boy does it make sense, but I'm really struggling right now. A lot of it is just missing talking to her, making plans, wondering if she's thinking about me, etc. I so want to send a how was your weekend text, but I know how pathetic that would be so I'm posting here instead. There were some things I didn't like about her-not terribly warm or compassionate, for starters-so trying to focus on all that stuff and realize I'm better off.

Honestly , I don't know he full story but I was in your position 3 months ago. All I can say and what you SHOULD follow is this.

1) Acceptance - accept your faults and her faults as well.
2) Grow - Take this chance to grow as a person , learn new things and keep your eyes off women for a while.
3) No going back - because you will seem WEAK , I can assure you that right now her phone is blowing up with desperate men , separate your self by being the strong man.

 

[rsox28]

Honestly , I don't know he full story but I was in your position 3 months ago. All I can say and what you SHOULD follow is this.

1) Acceptance - accept your faults and her faults as well.
2) Grow - Take this chance to grow as a person , learn new things and keep your eyes off women for a while.
3) No going back - because you will seem WEAK , I can assure you that right now her phone is blowing up with desperate men, separate your self by being the strong man.

We'd only been seeing each other a few months, but I had started to fall for her. Everything seemed fine...she told me she was having fun, she suggested plans for getting together again after our last date, etc. Anyway, a few days after I ask her when she had in mind to get together, and she tells me she didn't see any long term potential in the relationship, didn't feel that connection. So, that was that.

Anyway, your 3rd point is what I am really trying to tell myself over and over again, because it is so right. It will seem weak because it is. We had a good relationship, got along great, and matched up really well...if she didn't recognize that or want to give more time for whatever the hell connection she's talking about then that's her problem.

 

[fung824]

Day 4

Hi all, I found this forum the first time I got dumped by the girl I was dating. She came back and we got into a relationship. Fast forward 7 months, and now we broke up about 2 weeks ago. I broke the rules and went back to talk to her (not begging though, glad I still have a bit of my ego left). It's been 4 days since NC and I'm struggling but not too bad I hope.

I wrote down her contact on a piece of paper on day 2. Saved all our pictures somewhere in the computer. Then deleted her contact, messages, pictures from my phone. I also deleted her facebook today because I know she is looking for guys, and I couldn't bear to see when she added new guys on facebook who has the look that she is looking for and look kind of like me.. It is too much of a pain to see it.

 

[DJJD]

I just stopped in to say thankyou for making such a valuable resource for people have either ended a relationship...or perhaps dumped..

I was dumped. I had a 3 month relationship to one of the coolest and attractive women I have ever had the chance of knowing. I would have spent the rest of my life with her. I would have had children with her. I would have done pretty much anything for her. Thats all gone now.

She started to get distant. the frequency and lovingness that I had come to expect or even crave was no longer there. there could be another guy...she could have simply felt no feelings for me anymore...I dont know. But she never officially dumped me...but rather decided to push me away and go cold so that in turn I felt like I needed to chase and become "needy".... there is another side to her and to all women that can simply turn on a dime.

I cant understand it..I will never understand it. But what I do know is that I put it all out on the table...and she just walked. I haven't seen her in a month....and havent talked to her in 2 weeks. I drove by her house a few times...and I was just disgusted with myself. I will never do that again. I deleted her from FB..threw whatever she had left over here in the trash. I keep waiting for the phone to ring or perhaps a text to see how I am....but I know it will never come. She moved on a month ago... I have been in a funk for the last 2 weeks.

In my 36 years on this planet...this probably has been one of the hardest things I have gone through. I have been in a few very long term relationships.... none of them affected me like this. I thought we were perfect for eachother...she obviously had other thoughts on that subject.

Either way..thanks for listening. Reading this thread has been a real inspiration and an eye opener to the pain that people cause other people. It gets a bit better each day...but this is going to take some time to get over.

Thanks

DJJD

 

[rsox28]

I just stopped in to say thankyou for making such a valuable resource for people have either ended a relationship...or perhaps dumped..

I was dumped. I had a 3 month relationship to one of the coolest and attractive women I have ever had the chance of knowing. I would have spent the rest of my life with her. I would have had children with her. I would have done pretty much anything for her. Thats all gone now.

She started to get distant. the frequency and lovingness that I had come to expect or even crave was no longer there. there could be another guy...she could have simply felt no feelings for me anymore...I dont know. But she never officially dumped me...but rather decided to push me away and go cold so that in turn I felt like I needed to chase and become "needy".... there is another side to her and to all women that can simply turn on a dime.

I cant understand it..I will never understand it. But what I do know is that I put it all out on the table...and she just walked. I haven't seen her in a month....and havent talked to her in 2 weeks. I drove by her house a few times...and I was just disgusted with myself. I will never do that again. I deleted her from FB..threw whatever she had left over here in the trash. I keep waiting for the phone to ring or perhaps a text to see how I am....but I know it will never come. She moved on a month ago... I have been in a funk for the last 2 weeks.

In my 36 years on this planet...this probably has been one of the hardest things I have gone through. I have been in a few very long term relationships.... none of them affected me like this. I thought we were perfect for eachother...she obviously had other thoughts on that subject.

Either way..thanks for listening. Reading this thread has been a real inspiration and an eye opener to the pain that people cause other people. It gets a bit better each day...but this is going to take some time to get over.

Thanks

DJJD

Yeah, it's the worst when it's out of the blue like that, when they turn on a dime. It's easier to come to grips with when it makes sense.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

I just stopped in to say thankyou for making such a valuable resource for people have either ended a relationship...or perhaps dumped..

I was dumped. I had a 3 month relationship to one of the coolest and attractive women I have ever had the chance of knowing. I would have spent the rest of my life with her. I would have had children with her. I would have done pretty much anything for her. Thats all gone now.DJJD

I certainly don't think it's impossible to hit it off that quickly, but a willingness to do "pretty much anything for her" after only three months? A willingness to lock her down after only three months? I'm under the impression that you might have been moving too fast (at least in your head). Girls typically have razor sharp senses when it comes down to picking up the scent of neediness in a man. The "I want you, but I don't need you" frame of mind is probably one of the most important building blocks crucial to becoming the sort of ideal man this site promotes. It's also one of the trickiest to master too, in my opinion, not only because (in many cases) it requires a considerable amount of unlearning, but because - as fvkced up as this sounds - women esteem that in a man, and yet they will still takes measures to seduce him out of that role (ex. "baby! hang out with me more!..."). Fret not - the road to success is paved with one failure stacked upon another.

She started to get distant. the frequency and lovingness that I had come to expect or even crave was no longer there. there could be another guy...she could have simply felt no feelings for me anymore...I dont know. But she never officially dumped me...but rather decided to push me away and go cold so that in turn I felt like I needed to chase and become "needy".... there is another side to her and to all women that can simply turn on a dime.DJJD

This is what I mean - she probably sensed your reluctance to walk away should things ever begin to head South.

I cant understand it..I will never understand it. But what I do know is that I put it all out on the table...and she just walked.

You likely pedastalized her. Do you think she put it all out on the table? I'm betting she didn't. Why did she "just walk"? Because there are 500 other dudes around the corner ready to do the exact same thing. Learn to be the city that demands at least a month to get to know, not the town that can be seen in less than a day.

In my 36 years on this planet...this probably has been one of the hardest things I have gone through. I have been in a few very long term relationships.... none of them affected me like this. I thought we were perfect for eachother...she obviously had other thoughts on that subject.

Good. Nothing helps hit the reset button harder than a solid dose of pain. You probably feel weak now, defeated, uninspired and lethargic, so seek out activities that makes you feel powerful, invoke the feeling of power inside of you again. This is why it's so common for men to hit the weights with more vigor than usual following a mindbender of a breakup - they do so to bring back that feeling of being on top, being in control, of dominating, power... I always suggest that a guy have something greater than just developing a chiseled physique as his prime source of power, something deeper, something more spiritual, something that's not women and something that women cannot take away - a secret well of power, if you will, commonly referred to as your mission, purpose, raison d'etre etc. Throw the bulk of your attention and energy in this direction, slowly begin to rebuild the grand palace that is "you", open to all, but with its best rooms reserved only for those deemed worthy..

 

[LuckyStrike]

I just stopped in to say thankyou for making such a valuable resource for people have either ended a relationship...or perhaps dumped..

I was dumped. I had a 3 month relationship to one of the coolest and attractive women I have ever had the chance of knowing. I would have spent the rest of my life with her. I would have had children with her. I would have done pretty much anything for her. Thats all gone now.

She started to get distant. the frequency and lovingness that I had come to expect or even crave was no longer there. there could be another guy...she could have simply felt no feelings for me anymore...I dont know. But she never officially dumped me...but rather decided to push me away and go cold so that in turn I felt like I needed to chase and become "needy".... there is another side to her and to all women that can simply turn on a dime.

I cant understand it..I will never understand it. But what I do know is that I put it all out on the table...and she just walked. I haven't seen her in a month....and havent talked to her in 2 weeks. I drove by her house a few times...and I was just disgusted with myself. I will never do that again. I deleted her from FB..threw whatever she had left over here in the trash. I keep waiting for the phone to ring or perhaps a text to see how I am....but I know it will never come. She moved on a month ago... I have been in a funk for the last 2 weeks.

In my 36 years on this planet...this probably has been one of the hardest things I have gone through. I have been in a few very long term relationships.... none of them affected me like this. I thought we were perfect for eachother...she obviously had other thoughts on that subject.

Either way..thanks for listening. Reading this thread has been a real inspiration and an eye opener to the pain that people cause other people. It gets a bit better each day...but this is going to take some time to get over.

Thanks

DJJD

It sucks.

The best thing you can do is to put her out of your mind by keeping yourself busy. Yeah I know..easier said than done. You'll also have to come to terms with the fact you'll probably never know what went wrong or what caused her to turn on a dime.

I've had a similar thing happen to me recently. We both laid everything out on the table and were making long term plans to be together. She routinely called us soulmates and it was true love and all that bs. Then she started acting flaky and my spidey senses were tingling so I beat her to the punch and just dropped her. It was hard, but I've been in enough relationships to see the signs so I bailed before she took the reins on what was about to happen.

 

[DonnyJuanny]

Well, I got a letter in the mail from her today. It said nice things about about how she misses me and she has a hole in her heart. How she doesn't know if she is ready to give up the love and support we have each other. No real itch to contact her back. She made her choice. I'm over this whole thing.

My life is going great right now and no one gets a chance to **** with that. Even a girl I previously had a relationship with. I've got too much to do and too many places to go and too many women to charm.

You MUST remain NC.

 

[zorg198]

How long you have been in NC? she dumped you? how long LTR?

 

[DonnyJuanny]

How long you have been in NC? she dumped you? how long LTR?

Been no contact since she left my house to go back to Paris on the 26th of February.

She did dump me and for about two months she strung me along until she was comfortable enough with her new guy.

We were together 9 months. I cant speak for her but in my mind it was the closest I've ever become to another non family member.

Also this is her letter for anyone that likes funny reads. My thoughts in BOLD

My dear dear DonnyJuanny,
I know you're probably out there kicking ass, making good grades, partying with friends...I AM I'd like to think I am too. I've been looking at other jobs but haven't found anything worth applying for yet. Which makes me feel a little disappointed and feel defeated.DONT COME CRYING TO ME But it's only the beginning, I suppose.
But I guess I'm writing this letter because this is weird. This whole disappearing act were pulling on each other. MUST NOT BE GETTING ENOUGH ATTENTIONMe going back to Paris and you nowhere to be seen or heard.THATS THE POINTBut I get it. It may be necessary for us.US? LOL I just don't feel at ease.GOOD I think about you at least once a day and I can't even catch a glimpse of your life through social mediaGOODwhich makes me think, how did people do this before? Oh yeah, write letters with the risk of no response (just like the notebook lol). I'm not trying to compare our story to that of Nicholas Sparks and I know we've had the conversation about us with the conclusion of silence until, well I guess I'm ready.SAID SHE WOULD CALL ME. I TOLD HER NOT TO CALL ME UNLESS SHE WAS CALLING TO TELL ME SHE WAS READY FOR WHAT I WAS OFFERING HER But I'm still not used to itWHAT? A GUY NOT FAWNING OVER YOU?and this is my only means of showing you.
I feel like I'm living in two different worlds, alternate universes. And I feel like not hearing or seeing you is making me lose touch with one I don't know if I'm ready to let go of yet- the world of comfort, support, LOVE.WASNT THAT HARD TO LET GO OF WHEN YOUR NEW BOY WAS INSIDE YOU I don't know, I'm just jabbering.YUP In the end, I just really wanted you to know that I still think about you.YOU WILL FOR A LONG TIME You've impressioned my life.I TEND TO DO THAT And I'm sorry if this letter makes you angryNAH, JUST DONT CARE TOO MUCH but I just had to reach out to you somehow. And though you may not believe it - I love you. YOURE RIGHT. I DONT. CYA.

EX

 

[Between_The_Lines]

And though you may not believe it - (right now at this very moment I feel like) I love you.

EX

Amended