The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[HW1984]

Don't do it Yonggg....

Look what I just did. It got me nowhere and put me back at the beginning.

 

[fuko2007]

Don't do it Yonggg....

Look what I just did. It got me nowhere and put me back at the beginning.

Look man, i can tell your still really hung up on this chick you should read some of my old posts and learn from me. I did the same thing you are doing, i would post on here about how i was doing good then i would cave in and contact her and start all over. I bet you will give in again and text her or something. Your only delaying your own healing my friend , you need to delete her number throw out anything that reminds you of her or store it somewhere.

Even change your phone number so you dont have that feeling like you need to look at it every 5seconds because she might have contacted you. I know you feel like you have lost everything because she made you happy and whole. But the truth is she was only a small part of your life. And for you to be happy it comes from within not from someone else. Yes, someone else can help make you feel BETTER or GOOD but if your not happy with you it just masks that.

So take some time and do things for you. Go hang out with old friends and do some stuff outside. I go hunting or fishing or on the lake if its warm, sunlight is good for you also. But re read some of my old posts and see where i landed when i was on your road.

 

[yonggg]

This is just your mind fvcking with you. Her response will disappoint you. make her believe you are gone and maintain silence.

it really is the only way.

yea i know u r right.

how to make her believe im gone?
just keep silence?

 

[tripod23]

yongg,,,,,,,,,please listen to the guys who have been through the same thing , if you chase her .....all youare doing is chasing her out of your life.........which may end up being the best thing that ever happend......one never knows.

just remain silent .....it speaks volumes trust me , look if your not meant to be together you wont be , chances are you will not end up with this chick.......youwill find someone way better..

the more you contact her the more she will treat you like shyt and then you just end up feeling like craap....dont do it its not worth the pain that will follow.

 

[yonggg]

yongg,,,,,,,,,please listen to the guys who have been through the same thing , if you chase her .....all youare doing is chasing her out of your life.........which may end up being the best thing that ever happend......one never knows.

just remain silent .....it speaks volumes trust me , look if your not meant to be together you wont be , chances are you will not end up with this chick.......youwill find someone way better..

the more you contact her the more she will treat you like shyt and then you just end up feeling like craap....dont do it its not worth the pain that will follow.

feel like crap already since day 8, its been very hard, day 12 now. yea i aint gonna contact her.

NC means no checking her profile, fb, etc right?

i sometimes still checking hers, but i know she rarely post or change picture,
but it is still tempted me to check.
should i delete or block?

 

[Induced Drag]

Youngg, I know it's a tough time for you. We've all been through it. This helped me immensely maybe it'll help you too. Think of it this way; if you contact her you're demonstrating weakness. Women are repulsed by weakness. If you want to keep any chance of her coming back into your life you must not show weakness, i.e., contact her.

 

[HW1984]

Yonggg.... Keep Strong. You're getting there. Trust me. If you cave you will feel even worse than you do now.

Back on Day 2 for me.... Still thinking a lot but keeping myself busy.

 

[tripod23]

yongg i know how tough it is mate i really do , and i can only tell you things that have made me feel better , its been a long road for me but i will try my best to put it into words ok....

firstly when i split with my first ex,,,,the pain was so bad after she told me love was not enough full stop.......she wanted other things ....i was stunned......but looking back with clarity....she was far from perfect herself , the one thing i didnt do was beg her.....i asked her once are you sure this is what you want and we cant work things out......she said no........bam i was gone.........i was with her 10yrs plus my friend......it hurt like crazy......

then i hooked up with another chick shortly after.....long story............we were together 4 months maybe rebound ......but i really liked this chick and she was all over me.........i made some mistakes due to the situation omoungs other things..................something happend and i walked awy from her only to realise i really thought a lot about her...........i tried to clear things up with her and she wasnt having any of it........this went on for months ....i kept trying , oh and i would try some more,,,,,,,,same result [ nothing ].....until i told her to have a nice life ......6 weeks later she was back...............but angain i showed her my cards she ran like fvck.......bad bad bad move ........im ashamed of myself....but whats done is done........she tried playing me......but luckily for myself i did know what the game was......so i blasted her and walked away....that was over 6 months ago......delelted her details and everything.....and thought to myself i am not putting up with this shyt any longer ever again.....fvck that.......

now its been hard as iv had 2 in very short spaces of time which have fvcked with my head , then in january i had an ex contact me from 20 years ago.........that was the icing on the cake........i was in disbelief....this was one who ran off with another guy to set up a life elsewhere and had a child.............i never chased her at all i let it be......and i can still remember to this day how bad i felt.......she was my first long term girlfriend.......she has told me some really deep stuff about how she still feels towards me , she is keen ....but i aint bothered its done and dusted from where i am standing.....

so i have drawn a total conclusion from reading and listening to storys off here ,,,,,,,women will not repond to neediness........but they will respond when you disapear and let them do their thing.........yongg fvck it man carry on with your life and dont use your ex as a source of your happiness.

take this time to improve, improve, improve......make your life better than it was before..and if she comes knocking its your decision to talk to her if you want to......you dont have to be a dyck about it..........she may come looking for you ...no one knows for sure.

one thing i have realised is that when guys get emotional over chicks their heads become scrabbled and we do things that in a clear mind we would never do /////// NEVER.

so take this time to clear your mind , and better your life. .trust me it will be the best thing you can do seriously.

i have gone 6 months plus nc with my last ex who i really liked , but she thought it was clever to jerk me around, i wasnt having any of it again so i walked...............only last week she was driving round my avenue when it was dark.......now dont get me wrong it could be a genuine reason for her doing this.......but there isnt any need for her to do so really............or she could be trying to put herself in my space so we bump into each other ....who knows.......and frankly who cares..............she will have to make moves towards me if we are even to speak again.......because im at the point where i have stopped 100 % of any forward movement........and she will be questioning this in her mind....even if its only a little bit...........

we may never speak again till the day we both die.......well if thats the case then its meant to be that way....simple.........

my point is this.............dont make yourself look needy........iv done it and chicks can smell it a mile away.......and they will run....very fast by the way........

carry on stay strong....stay cool,,,,,,,,and if she contacts you be nice if you want.......but do not let her see your cards.......other wise you are screwed ........

good luck

 

[yonggg]

Youngg, I know it's a tough time for you. We've all been through it. This helped me immensely maybe it'll help you too. Think of it this way; if you contact her you're demonstrating weakness. Women are repulsed by weakness. If you want to keep any chance of her coming back into your life you must not show weakness, i.e., contact her.

i just wonder, does this nc will show her that im not weak?

cause the last time i contacted her, i was clingy.. i didnt say anythin again, after the breakup.

i really want to say to her that i cant be friend with her, etc, but its been 12 days.

when i was still able to act like alpha, its was long before the breakup, before i turned to beta f*, i ever said to her that if we breakup, i should delete her contat in my messenger, the time goes by i turned to beta, until the breakup.

at the breakup, she said she hope we can be friend, i just say yes, and then conversation continued for a while
she also ever asked me to not delete her contact in messenger cause it looks immature (she remember that i ever tell her about i will delete contact, but, i just say yes. i regret i said yes to her.

if i didnt say to her again that i cant be friend, how could i take some of the power back?
i just keep wondering about this.

 

[HW1984]

Yonggg...

It no longer matters what was said at the break up and no it is not immature to delete her contact info. You have to now do whats good for you and not her. Ultimately once you started doing what was good for her is when the attraction started to fade. Take care of yourself, what's good for your health and YOUR life because that is what she is doing for her. I saw my end coming and that is when I turned beta to try and hold on and that is what pushed her away. All these guys are right. Act like you don't care and eventually you won't care. And if she decides to come back around then you will have the power in you to get to choose. Not her. I think back to when I first started dating her, how was I different? I had an edge that she craved because I didn't show many emotions and was carefree. This time around I cared too much, I thought too much. Overthinking will ruin you. Don't think, don't care.

 

[yonggg]

thanks dude i really appreciate all of ur encouragement.

tripod..
i made mistake by begging her at the breakup. but finally i said that oke, i believe i can move on, then i started nc the next day,

i just somehow rgret it, now i just want to take back some of the power. but its already day 12.

yea what hurt me most is, at the first, in the beginnig of the relationship, i also know that she is not that perfect, i know that i could get a better woman,
but u know, seeing how imperfect she is, seeing how she loved me so much, i started to let myself appreciate that i have her, i letmyself put deeper love to her, i just appreciate it, i dont seacrh for the perfect, i appreciate what i have, i learn to love her deeply,

long before the breakup, i did a lot of mistakes too by sometimes looked careless to her (in fact i was trying being an alpha)., she did mistakes too, the reason for the breakup was she cant let go my mistakes done in the past, while i said to her that i even have forgotten her mistakes, i do what its called unconditional love.

but yea, she even said to me that she know it wasnt fair. but still dumped me.

i just feel like crap, i learn to love her, learn to put all the eggs to 1 basket, i regrt it.

 

[tripod23]

yongg.....dont try to force someone to be in your life if they dont want to be there with you.....fvck that shyt right now.

relationships are a 2 way thing,,,,,,,,,,listen my friend if she doesnt want to be with you.....you have to let her go......keep your self respect , keep your dignity , and keep the power you have by staying away from her....no contact is the only way forward........

everyone makes mistakes we are all human........if your ex cant eccept when you say i fvcked up there [ im sorry ].........then its her imature attitude which will stop you being together......so let her be.....let her feel whats its like without you....

we all think our exes are having a whale of a time without us , that maybe the case who knows , but there may come a day when they turn to you ...............like the saying goes....every dog has its day...........and its true.

stay away from your ex.....this will show her you are strong......it will demostrate you have self control , if she wants to talk to you trust me she will call / text / knock on your door / or do whatever it takes to see you....if not you have to move on and grow into a better version of the man you are right now.

good luck

stay strong

 

[yonggg]

yongg i know how tough it is mate i really do , and i can only tell you things that have made me feel better , its been a long road for me but i will try my best to put it into words ok....

firstly when i split with my first ex,,,,the pain was so bad after she told me love was not enough full stop.......she wanted other things ....i was stunned......but looking back with clarity....she was far from perfect herself , the one thing i didnt do was beg her.....i asked her once are you sure this is what you want and we cant work things out......she said no........bam i was gone.........i was with her 10yrs plus my friend......it hurt like crazy......

then i hooked up with another chick shortly after.....long story............we were together 4 months maybe rebound ......but i really liked this chick and she was all over me.........i made some mistakes due to the situation omoungs other things..................something happend and i walked awy from her only to realise i really thought a lot about her...........i tried to clear things up with her and she wasnt having any of it........this went on for months ....i kept trying , oh and i would try some more,,,,,,,,same result [ nothing ].....until i told her to have a nice life ......6 weeks later she was back...............but angain i showed her my cards she ran like fvck.......bad bad bad move ........im ashamed of myself....but whats done is done........she tried playing me......but luckily for myself i did know what the game was......so i blasted her and walked away....that was over 6 months ago......delelted her details and everything.....and thought to myself i am not putting up with this shyt any longer ever again.....fvck that.......

now its been hard as iv had 2 in very short spaces of time which have fvcked with my head , then in january i had an ex contact me from 20 years ago.........that was the icing on the cake........i was in disbelief....this was one who ran off with another guy to set up a life elsewhere and had a child.............i never chased her at all i let it be......and i can still remember to this day how bad i felt.......she was my first long term girlfriend.......she has told me some really deep stuff about how she still feels towards me , she is keen ....but i aint bothered its done and dusted from where i am standing.....

so i have drawn a total conclusion from reading and listening to storys off here ,,,,,,,women will not repond to neediness........but they will respond when you disapear and let them do their thing.........yongg fvck it man carry on with your life and dont use your ex as a source of your happiness.

take this time to improve, improve, improve......make your life better than it was before..and if she comes knocking its your decision to talk to her if you want to......you dont have to be a dyck about it..........she may come looking for you ...no one knows for sure.

one thing i have realised is that when guys get emotional over chicks their heads become scrabbled and we do things that in a clear mind we would never do /////// NEVER.

so take this time to clear your mind , and better your life. .trust me it will be the best thing you can do seriously.

i have gone 6 months plus nc with my last ex who i really liked , but she thought it was clever to jerk me around, i wasnt having any of it again so i walked...............only last week she was driving round my avenue when it was dark.......now dont get me wrong it could be a genuine reason for her doing this.......but there isnt any need for her to do so really............or she could be trying to put herself in my space so we bump into each other ....who knows.......and frankly who cares..............she will have to make moves towards me if we are even to speak again.......because im at the point where i have stopped 100 % of any forward movement........and she will be questioning this in her mind....even if its only a little bit...........

we may never speak again till the day we both die.......well if thats the case then its meant to be that way....simple.........

my point is this.............dont make yourself look needy........iv done it and chicks can smell it a mile away.......and they will run....very fast by the way........

carry on stay strong....stay cool,,,,,,,,and if she contacts you be nice if you want.......but do not let her see your cards.......other wise you are screwed ........

good luck

hppe i will have that attitude soon.
i will read and reread again all of encouragement here in this thread to keep me motivated.
always make me feel better.

as i said before, i just afraid that if this nc will actually make me looks weak.
my mind been f*ing around with me. how could i even think that nc will make me look needy. haha.
im so screwed up.

 

[yonggg]

yongg.....dont try to force someone to be in your life if they dont want to be there with you.....fvck that shyt right now.

relationships are a 2 way thing,,,,,,,,,,listen my friend if she doesnt want to be with you.....you have to let her go......keep your self respect , keep your dignity , and keep the power you have by staying away from her....no contact is the only way forward........

everyone makes mistakes we are all human........if your ex cant eccept when you say i fvcked up there [ im sorry ].........then its her imature attitude which will stop you being together......so let her be.....let her feel whats its like without you....

we all think our exes are having a whale of a time without us , that maybe the case who knows , but there may come a day when they turn to you ...............like the saying goes....every dog has its day...........and its true.

stay away from your ex.....this will show her you are strong......it will demostrate you have self control , if she wants to talk to you trust me she will call / text / knock on your door / or do whatever it takes to see you....if not you have to move on and grow into a better version of the man you are right now.

good luck

stay strong

in my case it is long distance, i dont think she will contact me again, hope next year, when she will back from overseas she will realize how life qithout me here.
stay strong for u too.

 

[Induced Drag]

i just wonder, does this nc will show her that im not weak?

cause the last time i contacted her, i was clingy.. i didnt say anythin again, after the breakup.

i really want to say to her that i cant be friend with her, etc, but its been 12 days.

when i was still able to act like alpha, its was long before the breakup, before i turned to beta f*, i ever said to her that if we breakup, i should delete her contat in my messenger, the time goes by i turned to beta, until the breakup.

at the breakup, she said she hope we can be friend, i just say yes, and then conversation continued for a while
she also ever asked me to not delete her contact in messenger cause it looks immature (she remember that i ever tell her about i will delete contact, but, i just say yes. i regret i said yes to her.

if i didnt say to her again that i cant be friend, how could i take some of the power back?
i just keep wondering about this.

Blowing up her phone by calling and texting her will make you look weak and needy. Staying quiet and going ghost will not make you look weak. You take your power back by going stealth. You're really over thinking it. NC is for you, not her. Who knows what she'll do. She doesn't even know what she's going to do. If you were a decent guy to her in time she'll start to wonder about you. Right now you do nothing, nadda, zip. If you do anything it'll only push her further away.

 

[Thorninmyside]

A couple of weeks back to NC for me and it's been magic. You really do heal, guys.

As a funny side note, I just got an email from her that read:

"So yeah, I'm fine. No need to worry about me".

Hahahahaha.

 

[Dgwizdal]

A couple of weeks back to NC for me and it's been magic. You really do heal, guys.

As a funny side note, I just got an email from her that read:

"So yeah, I'm fine. No need to worry about me".

Hahahahaha.

No response from you I hope. Let the hamster spin itself to death

 

[Thorninmyside]

Of course!

 

[HW1984]

Day 3.....

Still thinking about her a lot but no desire to contact her. Sticking with the NC. Doing more of the what I could have should have done which is pi$$ing me off even though I know what's done is done.

Yonggg, keep it up man. Your doing good.

 

[AriMamba]

Day 1, yesterday was the last time I had any sort of contact with her... via text. I was pissed because she never had the courage to tell my with her words or tell me it was over. She just cold hearted ignored me and cut me off like I did not exist. And I guess it she met somebody else. Ldr sucks, our schedule never matched up too. But she had high il. Not anymore lol. Is going to suck because it would be hard to meet girls in my situation right now. But I will try to go out and have fun and flirt with any chick I see.