The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Purefilth]

I had a couple drinks today and broke down. Looked at her instagram, twitter etc saw her making posts about flirting with guys. Starting over today.

Any advice on how to stay strong guys? This hurts

click Block, Delete, Ignore them.

Its called the "No Contact Challenge" It isn't meant to be easy.
Been throught it buddy.

Main points are to:
Stay Busy

Try to keep off the internet (social networks and such).

block any and all forms of contact too.

Its all going to help you recover and grow.

 

[Razzled_TK]

I had a couple drinks today and broke down. Looked at her instagram, twitter etc saw her making posts about flirting with guys. Starting over today.

Any advice on how to stay strong guys? This hurts

I know how you feel, Im sorry, it sucks. When I broke NC and checked up on her, And saw her on these dates with some guy already, it wasn't the best feeling in the world... But it just made more serious about NC this time around.

Best advice I have is: block her on Facebook so you won't see her and her updates, Lay off twitter and instagram for awhile, (if you can't, just unfollow her and private/block) and just do what NC is meant to do, Focus on yourself. Build or strengthen your hobbies, work-out, hang out with friends, and/or go out and do something productive. And during moments of weakness, like I do when I start to think about her, Just do one of the those immediately to change your focus off of her. Best of luck, friend. I know you can do it.


Oh and Day 12: I'm beginning to question whether I miss her, or just what we had.

 

[Callah]

day 4
had a good day, starting another one today. mornings are the toughest, because of my experience and the fact i deleted her in almost all aspects of my life i know i wont contact her but at the ame time i cant help think that one day she will realize she made a mistake. but also, i dont see a perfect scenario where she comes back and i can accept her.
hanging out with friends more, seems to work and be fun. also trying to get some attention from this girl but i dont know yet, partially i know its just a distraction to myself. but that even confuses me cause i think she is just finding distractions and one day when she has run out she will think of me.
i know the formula and im trying to apply to make me happy but at some point i still cant accept its truly over. the being busy everyday is just something i need to do to make me happy everyday.

 

[mbgeezle]

Day 2

Woke up thinking about her as regular as clockwork like I have been for the past month or so..This girl was the love of my life and I mean she was the 'one'. I know this because a few years ago I fell out of love with her (was 19 at the time) the typical grass is greener story. Realised what I lost and won her back and fell in love all over again. I still have hope she'll realise we are meant to be to get. Even she said we are Soulmates so to speak. Day 2. Got to stay strong!

 

[daifeigo]

Day5

Day5

I thought about her today and the good old time and if only I haven been such a bad ass and doubt her she would't have dump me, I tears, I can't emotionally control myself anymore...
NC is hard , and it made me think of what if I continue as a friend she will 1 day love me back, cos she's showing quite affection for me when we r friend after broke up but she just doesn't want to accept me back as her boyfirnd.
today I just regret NC method....
I duno now, I am quite sad and emotionally tortured.....

 

[mbgeezle]

Dont give up now! Don't let her drop u in the friend zone. My ex tried this as well and I said it was impossible to be friends when your madly in love with her. I've broken no contact 10's of times over the past month since the break up. I'm now more serious than ever. For me to move on and improve myself and IF she does come back, you'll be a better person and boyfriend for her OR the next girl who walks into your life. Stick at it my friend!

 

[daifeigo]

: D

Dont give up now! Don't let her drop u in the friend zone. My ex tried this as well and I said it was impossible to be friends when your madly in love with her. I've broken no contact 10's of times over the past month since the break up. I'm now more serious than ever. For me to move on and improve myself and IF she does come back, you'll be a better person and boyfriend for her OR the next girl who walks into your life. Stick at it my friend!

thx for the encouragement, ya I know! If I ever give up and give in it won't help out our relation at all and won't just kills it. I am trying to hold on but sometimes u think of the things u have done and u might have done better that just give u a knuckle kick and bring u back to it.
Yeah if she does find me back we will be in a better condition!
Good luck to u bro !

 

[mbgeezle]

Don't think about what should or could of been. We've both probably made a 1000 mistakes whilst in our relationships, I no I have! It's all done now and it's the past. My girl of six years is seeing someone else so imagine how I feel! Concentrate on the future and what yoy can do to be a better boyfriend for the next girl or maybe your ex. The cards are in their hands my friend! You have the power with no contact. That's what they don't understand. Time to get your emotions in check. I'm on day 2 after breaking no contact so many times over the past month. Finding excuses to text or leave voice mails and receiving very limited short replies. My ex says I push her away with all the texts so I've got to do the opposite now!

 

[mbgeezle]

I'm 24. Maybe your right. But spending 6 years with someone and everything we've been through and both falling in love TWICE. And I mean madly in love after a break. Then u believe you've found 'the one'. Anyway no contact, im 100% committed to it now and will not give up. She said she'll contact me she just needs longer. However long, longer is. I'll wait. Also improving on me in the process to move on and/or start a new relationship when the time comes or start up a new relationship with my ex. Only time will tell!

 

[mbgeezle]

You are completely right. I wouldn't say I'm waiting as such. But trust me, if u read back a few pages there is a rough outline of my/our story over the last 3 months alone. You may see why I no at some point she will be in touch. I'm not just improving myself for her, im doing it for me. I've been hitting the gym hard, new diet etc. I'm doing this for me to improve as a person, mentally and physically. I'm worth more than what she has turned me into and I no that! Like you say, if she contacts me and wants to go for a coffee in the future I might entertain the idea. But knowing her with her stubborn ways, I will of sailed off into the sunset by then!

 

[mbgeezle]

Please take the time to read my story on the previous page and let me know your thoughts. Its good to have an opinion from someone who isn't emotionally involved.

 

[Green Frost]

To Be Or Not To Be...

Hi everyone. I had already broken up with my ex gf for almost a year now. I was the one to make that choice & use the NC method. However, I made a small change to that rule for myself. I know we are not to answer any calls but I feel that is weak for me not to do so. Going back to the past, she had mentioned before that all I do is change my #'s when we fight. I am actually getting tired of loosing my contacts because of her. So, I decided that I will answer "calls" that I normally think is coming from her. Which means private & or her similar area codes as to let her know I am not weak or afraid to accept any calls. Please keep in mind that I do not make any form of contacts towards my ex. I only answer if I'm not busy. She calls me periodically. I would say month to month or 2 months later. I'm thinking she's calling to check & see if I'm alive. Is quite obvious she is too scared to strike a conversation. I have always wanted to leave her because she lacks the maturity that I'm looking for. I guess I did leave one big thing out. Both ex gf & her mom was my 2 best friends. Those 2 gals do not go a day without talking to me. It was not easy for me to leave both but it has to be done that way. When my ex & I fight she would use private numbers to call me because she knows I will hang up on her cause I don't want to talk. However, as for the her mom she will call me directly. Whether is a similar area code or not it will never be a private call. Most calls made to me is a 10 sec. call than a hang up. Just to be clear... I do not ever call either of them when I was with my ex gf. They call me 95% of the time & where as I only call them 5% of the time. I know what you guys are going to say... "They're very needy girls!" Yes. They are.

Frankly, I do not deserve a call from either one because I don't go out of my way to call them. Simply put... "I am not needy at all."

For the most part I am free & doing well. No stress or dramas! Not afraid of anything that comes my way. i guess my question is???? Which of the two do you think would try getting a hold of me more? One more thing, break up between my ex-gf is very bad! As for the mother it wasn't that bad cause she understood the situation.

Sorry for the long post...

 

[mbgeezle]

Day 3. Feeling very confident in not feeling the urge to text or call. I've broken NC that many times over the past month that I'm 100% committed to it this time.

 

[daifeigo]

Toughen !

Feeling kinda great today , no urge of finding her.
Just that miss the time and how much more we can achieve together if only she hasn't stupidly broken up a relationship over her past 7 years ex.
anyway feeling strong and wondering wat she's doing but still curious thats all. haha
this is the 4th day, what if I find her back and we might get back together ?? hmmmm HELLPPPPP
before I told her NC ,we were friend but hanging out very intimately but after the hangout she msg me not to get too closed to each other as we r friend, she insisting that we r just friend. Hence, I feel that there's hope but she just hasn't make up her mind yet as she's still lingering with her past ex 7 years who broke her up n her heart last year december. HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM................... SHOULD I ?

 

[TwoDucs]

Day 28. It's been four weeks since I established NC. For the most part every day gets easier. Yesterday sucked though. I had her on my mind all day, and when I started cleaning up the new bike, the neighbor's daughter started playing country music, which always makes me think of her.

I called up a friend of mine and he put things in perspective for me. He told me to stop whining, and that I had been very lucky. When I asked him what he meant he said 'Dude, you were one c*mshot away from having to deal with that crazy b*tch for the next 18 years'.

Point taken.

 

[mbgeezle]

that is just a small portion...

Ok bud,
I pasted your story below, and my thoughts in bold.

"Hi. This is day one of no contact for me. I've broken my own no contact several times over the past month and from reading this forum I've decided I am so ready for this! Brief outline of my story. Took ex away for bday, spoilt her, come home, she goes home, seems distant, says she wants to be on her own via text message,Right after you spoil her, she does this? go to her house, tells me she doesn't love me anymore, I trick her into admitting there's someone else.At this point you should have ceased contact and never taken a call from her again She's had 2 attempted suicides in the past 3 months, on anti depressants, was drinking till the point of not remembering a thing, sniffing cocaine, I cared for her, paid her drug debt, kept her sober, stood by her no matter what and she sh**s on me. Yes she didWell I've done the usual begging, I've now wished her all the best for her life, and said I'm taking this time to work on me. I asked her a few days ago if she hated me, she said no, I said some horrible things to her when I found out there was another guy, and found out other certain rumours. She said she forgived me. SHE FORGAVE YOU?? YOU SPOIL HER, SHE CHEATS ON YOU, AND YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO BE FORGIVEN? SHE IS A DRUGGIE ALCOHOLIC, WHOSE DRUG DEBT YOU PAID, AND YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO BE FORGIVEN?I asked her to wish me well and she said 'do u not realise u push me away, stop with all the texts'. I texted her this morning asking if she developed feelings for this guy while she was with me as I've heard it could of been going on for up to a month, 2 weeks ago. She was in London with me during the month its supposed to of been going on for and also at my house for 2 weeks as she wanted to stay away from drink etc. She's been in an extremely bad place and she says he treats her well, she's happy now and he likes her for who she is. I'm devastated. 6 years we have been together. Day 1! Wish me luck!"After re-reading this, I realize just how bad this is. i can't emphasize enough how much you need to cease contact with this girl for good. For good! She is a drug abuser, who cheats on you while she lets you pay her way through life. Why is this attractive to you?? My best advice is for you to step away for a few months while you improve yourself, meet some other girls, get some distance. After 3 months, look back at this thread and see if you were under her spell. I am betting you will shake your head in disbelief at your own words.

You are right. Her father is in a home from drinking himself to dementia. Her brother who is 28/29, still lives with her and her mother and younger sister and likes a drink and drugs also. I tried to give her something better as she had a terrible start in life. But so did I! Everyone has had to deal with things that they shouldn't of but I tried to explain to her you can't let it rule your life! The drug debt was only a one time thing, not that, that makes much difference. I did stick by her through all of her manic depressive episodes and suicide attempts. Sitting at her hospital bed in disbelief. And as soon as the happy pills kick in she doesn't love me and is with someone else. She says it's not the pills, but from research I've done, I no different. She's definitely not the girl I fell in love with so your correct, there will be no contact from me, and unless she gets on her hands and knees and begs ME for forgiveness I could never speak to her again. I'm slowly coming to the realisation that I couldn't be in a relationship with her again, but in a few years IF she has sorted herself out, I could be her friend. Before all the depression, we weren't just partners but best friends. That's the most painful thing. Thanks for listening and giving your opinion!

 

[daifeigo]

5 th days

I have the urged to find her but not having thought of being together with her again but to help her and guide her after went NC and I really think about it.
She has 7 years relationship with her ex and he broke her heart very badly and she was so obsessed with him and do what ever her boyfriend tells her to.
should I break the NC rule and help her and guide her through her life from that bastard who cause us broke ? I am just willing to help her and nothing in return. Should I do so ?
All just a peace of my mind that she can move on with her life.

 

[mbgeezle]

Day 4

Getting easier by the day. Don't even have the urge to text or call anymore. Perseverance pays off!

 

[breezy11]

Hey guys I'm new here and looking for some advice.

My gf of just over a year broke things off with me yesterday. We had a little incident about a month ago, and even though she said she's gotten over that, she said that ever since then she hasn't felt as romantically about me, regardless of how hard she's tried, and didn't wanna keep faking it to the point where she hated me.
She said all the typical stuff: I really wanna stay friends with you, you never know things could be different down the road, I hope you don't hate me, I hope you still keep in touch with me.

I admittedly was pretty taken back, and while I didn't plead or cry, I asked her calmly if there was anything that could be done to resolve the issue. She said she didn't think so. At that point I said alright, well I guess that's that. And said goodbye to her.

Obviously my plan is to go NC at this point, but my BIG decision that I'm wondering is: do I send her kind of like a closure sort of text where I thank her for being honest with me about her (lack of) feelings, and agreeing that after thinking about it overnight, it really is the most fair and best thing for both us rather than leading me on, and letting her know that I don't hate her?

I'm wondering if sending this will make me seem like the bigger person, before initiating no contact so she doesn't think I'm not talking to her out of being butthurt (although I had mentioned to her during our relationship that if we break up, there's no real reason to stay friends).

Thoughts?
Any advice is much appreciated

 

[Purefilth]

I admittedly was pretty taken back, and while I didn't plead or cry, I asked her calmly if there was anything that could be done to resolve the issue. She said she didn't think so. At that point I said alright, well I guess that's that. And said goodbye to her.

if thats how it ended - and I would consider that to be a decent ending. Then thats all she wrote.

nothing else need be said buddy. I know you want to send one or two messages for 'closure'. Its just mental masturbation.

block, delete ignore.

keep busy, spend time on YOU.