The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Carpathian]

@SuccessIsDestiny Thanks for your advice man. Ex continues to text, missing me. want's me to go round and bang her etc. Six months passed and she misses me clearly and what we had. Crazy woman. I'm enjoying life with my 9/10 woman.

 

[tenocv]

Hi posting here because it's been a month since being dumped and I have done a piss poor job of not being in contact. It is so easy to send texts and so here I am dedicated to this to start day 1 yet all over again. Ex is already aware that there is a NC rule in place. Something came up about a mutual friend of ours and essentially required breaking NC but still it's not an excuse to go on and on... like things are back to normal. So I am dedicated to this from here on.

And so here it begins... and still this feeling of one-itis but gotta keep busy. It's so easy to text her and there's stuff coming through every now and then.
And I will post when I get the urge to text.

 

[Carpathian]

Hi posting here because it's been a month since being dumped and I have done a piss poor job of not being in contact. It is so easy to send texts and so here I am dedicated to this to start day 1 yet all over again. Ex is already aware that there is a NC rule in place. Something came up about a mutual friend of ours and essentially required breaking NC but still it's not an excuse to go on and on... like things are back to normal. So I am dedicated to this from here on.

And so here it begins... and still this feeling of one-itis but gotta keep busy. It's so easy to text her and there's stuff coming through every now and then.
And I will post when I get the urge to text.

Good luck.
In short, you need to man up, grow a pair and ignore her. Is it hard? You bet. Is there an alternative? No. You either do this to get over it or you torture yourself with death-by-a-thousand-cuts and prolong the agony - for months and years in some guys' cases - by maintaining contact. There is no other way, that's why the net is full of no contact threads. Read them and watch Corey Wayne stuff to strengthen yourself.

In my case it is the one year anniversary - today - of a particularly wonderful day I shared with my ex, a wonderful romantic weekend away. NO WAY would I text her to remind her of that, the b1atch. SHE is the one who dumped ME!

 

[finality]

Day1

 

[Firestar786]

I'm in 3 months now and I have received around 20 calls from her today

No f0cks given.

 

[Carpathian]

I'm in 3 months now and I have received around 20 calls from her today

No f0cks given.

Three or four months of complete No Contact has a certain effect on people dude..... well done for sticking it out. My EX has been all over me as well, texting me, writing letters, etc. Ignored them all, despite her saying she won't bother me anymore and she doesn't want to annoy me. They still keep coming. They start to realize what a good thing they threw away after NC after a few months.

I'm keeping my 9/10 woman

 

[finality]

Day 1

10-15 recycles with a borderline in the past 2 years

 

[Adz--]

Day 37

Thoughts of her are still coming and going, sometimes i hate her and don't think of her and get on with my things for almost a week then something triggers her to be in my mind again.
Lately I've been getting an urge to unblock her off my Fb and whatsapp but I've been distracting myself with other things so that i don't think of it.

adz--

 

[Juan Manuel]

About 10 months ago I started talking online with the sister of my best friend girl (I am studying abroad) and we got along very well. For the first months, things were going great and eventually she told me that she loved me. But around May I start failing academically and that brought me into a depression. As a result, we drifted apart and she started to lose interest. On August, she told me she didn't feel the same way as before and that she wanted us to just be friends. I begged her to change her mind but she told me that her dream was for us to meet physically back in our home country and date, so I agreed. As we were on this friend phase, I brought up my insecurities about the friendship situation but she reassured me that I was winning her heart back. During this period, I started going to the gym and to a psychologist for therapy. I told her I was doing these to get better. However, last week, I told her I wanted to talk to her about the friendship situation and that it troubled my mind. Things backfire because as soon as I mentioned this, she told me she want us now to remain friends (without any romance this time) and to give me a chance to date her if maybe, maybe we meet back in our home country (in 3 months). She told me that she was feeling confused, that distance was a barrier, that she acknowledge that she was giving me mixed signs, that her feelings for me came and went, and that though she like me really much, she wanted us to be friends otherwise say goodbye.

So after this last conversation, I stop texting/talking to her after I stupidly told her I was fine with being friends and I needed time (that was 5 days ago). I haven't delete (not even restrict) her contact from Facebook or Whatsapp because I think that would give her the upper hand. In my mind, I am thinking that by doing that it will show her that I don't care at all if she talks to me or not. She haven't attempt any contact with me and frankly, I don't think she will. Its hard for me to do anything but check her online status on both Facebook and Whatsapp. With regret and sadness, I notice she is online even at late hours and even though she told me she wasn't dating any man, the fact that she might is driving me mad.

DAY 5
Its been very tough. I have not been able to do anything but think of her. My day is a roller coaster, sometimes I am thinking f***k you b****, sometimes I think it was my fault because I got depressed, sometimes I think she has faith in us, sometimes I think I will cry at the thought that I am just another guy on her list. I don't know what to do. I need to focus on my studies, but I cannot literally do anything. I think I don't want to permanently burn all the bridges but I think she already is burning them.

Any word of advice? Something that I should be doing? I am going to the gym (3 week streak now), to a psychologist and to a nutritionist in the hopes of working on myself. I will put a big effort in stop stalking her on social networks and do this no contact challenge. I want to man up, but sometimes I think I wont. Some part of me says, "don't give up, she is worth it, don't forget her", but later on I feel waves of humiliation and sadness.

 

[tenocv]

And there we go back two steps to day 2...when it's supposed to be day 5 or something.

Really gotta grow a pair...

And to Juan Manuel,

Yeah - man it's natural to think about her but do other things! Get off the computer and get off the phone and stop looking at her at these social networks.

 

[Carpathian]

@Juan Manuel You need to immediately stop looking at her on the computer. Delete everything to do with her or put it in a box or put it on a USB stick and leave it somewhere where you will not be tempted to look. Do not under ANY circumstances contact her. You must stop contacting her completely, there is NO reason from now on that you should contact her. If SHE calls YOU you must tell her that, in light of recent events, you are also no longer sure about her and want time out where you will not be contacting her. Turn the tables on her and make her feel insecure. And then on ignore her. Stop being weak and see yourself as a man of value, someone she should cherish and chase. You are not a second class citizen to her. You must fight fire with fire, give her a taste of her own medicine. She will respect you for it and think more positively towards you. After a few weeks of that she may come back to you begging. You can review the situation then.

Read this:
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3724061

It is normal to be obsessed with her and think about nothing else in the immediate aftermath of a breakup. It takes time - weeks and months - for these feelings to go. There is nothing wrong with you. My ex dumped me in March. I have a new woman now but I still think about the ex a lot, especially since she is now blowing up my phone. How did that happen? NO CONTACT.

 

[resilient]

@Juan ManuelI have a new woman now but I still think about the ex a lot, especially since she is now blowing up my phone. How did that happen? NO CONTACT.

Funny reading that, I now realize just how low my last ex-fwb interest level was since I'm four days away from hitting the 30 day mark and I've only received one text message the day after that break up just to say she was flaking on me that day for a meet up with acquaintances.

*edit*

LMAO! 10 minutes after I wrote this, I got my first text message asking how I was and where she could go to receive lessons for a hobby that I do. I got to be strong.

I shouldn't reply to this text message...........

 

[tenocv]

Yeah - replying to the text is like going after the breadcrumbs... it leads nowhere...

You feel a bit of release and then you realize you're back to the same situation.

Don't do it...

 

[Juan Manuel]

DAY 6
Thank you very much for both advices. I read the post of the bodybuilding forum and then reread some of my conversations with this girl. And now I am f***ing angry at myself for not break up with her a few months ago when this was starting. I have been the backup of that b****. I delete her from my social networks and I restricted her sister, which is my best friend girl.... This No Contact will be now easier as all the happy moments we had had been now tarnished by herself. And the worst thing is I let her do this to me, I hate myself so much for trusting her. I feel I gave her so much from me and the thing I got back was "I am sorry, lets be friends". What a waste of time and energy

 

[Carpathian]

Yeah - replying to the text is like going after the breadcrumbs... it leads nowhere...

You feel a bit of release and then you realize you're back to the same situation.

Don't do it...

^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

 

[resilient]

Yeah - replying to the text is like going after the breadcrumbs... it leads nowhere...

You feel a bit of release and then you realize you're back to the same situation.

Don't do it...

Thanks for the reply to my post. I didn't respond to her text after all. I'm going to uphold NC. I like the accountability of this forum.

Sometimes you need a bro to remind us to say no to the ex vortex.

 

[Sh717]

Any word of advice? Something that I should be doing? I am going to the gym (3 week streak now), to a psychologist and to a nutritionist in the hopes of working on myself. I will put a big effort in stop stalking her on social networks and do this no contact challenge. I want to man up, but sometimes I think I wont. Some part of me says, "don't give up, she is worth it, don't forget her", but later on I feel waves of humiliation and sadness.

Do you actually want a girl that left you in your hard times? How can you blame yourself for getting depressed?? It's the hard times that show who get to stay in our lives and who has to go.

This girl is trash, if you keep lifting and improving overall your life quality is going to skyrocket.. this moment that you are in now will feel like a bad joke in the future. This is from someone who went from a skinnyfat to fitness model physique, time and patience. Let this disappointment of girl be your fuel and keep her in mind when the day comes and your biggest problem will be having to charge your phone cus you have too many girls trying to get your attention.

I know that right now everything seems to be meaningless but minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day - you will think less of her until she becomes a distant memory but you must help yourself. Go full NC. Block her everywhere, everytime you check up on her it will be like a knife into your heart, thoughts racing "is she seeing anyone" and then you go stalking her. Save yourself this heartache because you are only hurting yourself doing this. Let's say she is seeing someone? What are you going to do? Yell at her? Guilt trip her? Exactly, nothing you can do if you have a spine and some dignity.
Be your own hero man and just look forward, in the future you might run into her again but speaking from own experience, she will be nothing to you but some good old memories and an empty shell. Cherish those, forget her.

 

[Firestar786]

Day 1
My ex has been calling me a million times a day every day Of this week

I thought I would entertain it

The feelings rushed back, but it only took one small trip up from her to realise the reason why I walked away. I simply don't trust her.

That's the end of it now, just need a few weeks to get my **** together and start chasing new sluts

 

[Carpathian]

DAY 6
Thank you very much for both advices. I read the post of the bodybuilding forum and then reread some of my conversations with this girl. And now I am f***ing angry at myself for not break up with her a few months ago when this was starting.

When the relationship is dying, like a car going over a cliff, you need to recognize this, recognize her low interest and lack of time and respect towards you and get out first with your dignity intact. You would not stay in a car when it is going over a cliff would you? Of course not, you would jump out. So why do guys stick around in relationships that are going over the cliff and have long been dysfunctional in the hope that it'll "turn round"? They NEVER turn round when they get to this stage and the world is full of unhappy guys stuck in sexless relationships/marriages who never got this fact. Getting out and dumping her shows her your strength and gives YOU the power to dictate the terms if there is any future running left in it.

My ex still blowing up my phone. No way will I get back with her.

 

[Reykhel]

'Dear child' lol

There was a way of explaining in queens English as to not belittle me.

But still, your the 38 yo on an Internet forum writing about sluts as opposed to f0cking them

Word of advice- turn your computer off and see the world for what it is.
Also I'm not here to engage in some online debate with you, I have better things to do. Clearly you don't.

You are in pain on the recently dumped thread and are reactionary. I empathize. It's going to be alright.

I'm going to help you.....let's work on the holes in your tattered inner game...

There was a way of explaining in queens English as to not belittle me.

I didn't belittle you. You felt belittled by what I wrote. There's a world of difference. There's offense given and offense taken. You've allowed yourself to feel belittled by a stranger on the internet. Woe is you, a little reactionary leaf been blown by the winds.

But still, your the 38 yo on an Internet forum writing about sluts as opposed to f0cking them

Interesting. Where shall we begin. Let's call it what is shall we. The old feminist shaming tactic: the charge of puerility : The Peter Pan Charge.

"look at you, 38 years of age and on an internet forum talking about sluts instead of fvcking them" ......But wait.....let's give you the benefit of the doubt.....let's say your not a feminized little girl........let's say you are being authentic.......then I urge you to make a thread and call out every poster here over a certain age and "call them out".......call them out for being over a certain age and being on an "internet forum writing about sluts instead of fvcking them" Here's one or two that are older than me but still on an internet forum talking about sluts.....@Espi , @guru1000 , @resilient ..........So is your statement authentic? If so then in your eyes it applies to a lot of posters her and you should really create a thread about it and help these posters "see the world for what it is".

Or is it just a little feminized girl crying (for the record, I'm not writing about fvcking sluts........so viewing this imagined argument that you've conducted I'm tending to go with the latter argument.

Word of advice- turn your computer off and see the world for what it is.

Your unsolicited and ignorant advice is slightly amusing. I bet you've never being outside your little uncultured english village. Educate yourself before offering advice. Your ignorance is appalling.

Also I'm not here to engage in some online debate with you, I have better things to do. Clearly you don't.

This is probably my favorite sentence that you wrote. The irony in this one was really a thing of beauty. You were logged on to the internet on an internet forum on a thread for people who just got dumped and telling "me" or rather my profile, who wasn't logged in at the time that you had better things to do than engage in an online debate with you and (as per the above message) I should turn off my computer, you have better things to do...LOL TALK ABOUT PROJECTION....

You clearly feel like a loser because of the fact that you're on an online forum talking about sluts instead of fvcking them (you who is doing that). YOU'RE PROJECTING THAT ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! Take your response to @Tenacity in another thread ......."I've better things to do with my Tuesday evening than debate with you (it wasn't a fvcking debate, he asked you a question).....CLEARLY YOU HADN'T BETTER THINGS TO DO ON YOUR TUESDAY EVENING AND YOU WERE LOGGED INTO SOSUAVE WISHING YOU HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO.............

Oh and you were debating with me? That was cute........I, from your own reaction, chastised you.........there was no debate..........you're clearly struggling with the English language and basic comprehension concepts, I think debating would be a bit of stretch at this moment......little by little......eh......

examine these holes in your inner game son. Work on yourself, we are here for you.

remember: the truth will set you free.