The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[Jariel]

Another short lapse for me...

I went on a date tonight with this hot woman who has been offering to fulfill all my fantasies. I've been so turned on by our messages lately and really hot for her and she for me. We met up and the tension was so high, she was really into me and ready to go at it.

But I made the mistake of meeting her at a bar where my ex and I met last year after reconciling our relationship (after the first break up). It brought back so many memories - I could see the sofa where we sat and kissed for the first time since the break up, I remembered how happy we both were to be together again, the plans and promises for the future we made to each other, and it all came flooding back.

I continued my date and we had fun, but I couldn't stop thinking about my ex and how happy we once were together. I saw the date through and we kissed and fooled around a bit on the car park, but I didn't escalate any further and called it a night.

On the way home, I kept thinking how happy I had been the last time I had taken this route. The tears just started streaming down my cheeks.

It was a different kind of crying than I've been doing post break up. In previous months I was wrought with anger, resentment, frustration, the sting of rejection, shattered confidence and so on, whereas this felt more like genuine grief, just like when a loved one dies. In that moment, I realised just how good our relationship had been and how much I miss her.

I've got plates spinning, several dates lined up, women offering to fulfill my fantasies and I've got myself in great shape, improved my confidence, and I'm on the right track to recovery, but sometimes these memories strike out of nowhere.

I would say it's a positive thing that I've let go of the resentment now and can accept we actually had an amazing relationship and created lots of happy memories together. I just hope that one day I'll be able to look back on them without the pain attached to them.

 

[cgr68311]

how many of you believe single mothers with more than one kid, is a waste of time?? especialy if you can't have kids with her??

Orbion, I read your story, almost identical to mine. I think it would depend if she was a high value woman, which is very unlikely considering her single mom status (which unless her husband left her or widowed, leaves things to be desired).

When I read about your comment about 'her fvcking ex taking a higher priority than me', it felt like a bucket of cold water bro. That is exactly what caused my outburst which lead her to dump me. She still called me jealous despite the fact that she assertively and feistily DENIED me ever meeting her ex husband, despite having no common children yet talks to him...bs!

Another short lapse for me...

Jariel - I've been following your posts man, hang in there. look maybe this will make you feel better, to think that other people such as me have hit lower lows... in my case I also thought (or at least she made me believe) I had found my soul mate, I mean we did a lot of things together and were even learning hobbies together (Tango dancing, etc)... I could not be any happier, she was logical in most things except when it came to disrespecting me in front of others (not acknowledging me as bf, etc.). I broke up with her 6 weeks ago before she called it quits 2 weeks ago for that very reason.

Any ways, despite her recent flakiness and gradual loss of interest, I acknowledge I was an arsehole and still don't know why she put up with me for 6 months. I mean, I lied about being single, not having kids, about being a former spy (to impress her - she even laughed one day while watching 50 first dates saying I copied cat his lines LOL), she also found out through my wife intimate stuff only the two of us knew, I promised/trained her for a high paying job (which I think helped me bed her), took her to see wedding reception places, came up with an imaginary baby daughter, our honeymoon spot, even where we would retire. Worst part? I believed my own lies and it's hurting like hell.

 

[Jariel]

Jariel - I've been following your posts man, hang in there. look maybe this will make you feel better, to think that other people such as me have hit lower lows... in my case I also thought (or at least she made me believe) I had found my soul mate, I mean we did a lot of things together and were even learning hobbies together (Tango dancing, etc)... I could not be any happier, she was logical in most things except when it came to disrespecting me in front of others (not acknowledging me as bf, etc.). I broke up with her 6 weeks ago before she called it quits 2 weeks ago for that very reason.

Any ways, despite her recent flakiness and gradual loss of interest, I acknowledge I was an arsehole and still don't know why she put up with me for 6 months. I mean, I lied about being single, not having kids, about being a former spy (to impress her - she even laughed one day while watching 50 first dates saying I copied cat his lines LOL), she also found out through my wife intimate stuff only the two of us knew, I promised/trained her for a high paying job (which I think helped me bed her), took her to see wedding reception places, came up with an imaginary baby daughter, our honeymoon spot, even where we would retire. Worst part? I believed my own lies and it's hurting like hell.

To be honest I accept that there are going to be these lapses. You can't just rebound with another chick or two and suddenly replace or forget years of memories and intimacy with someone else, especially if you felt she was your soul mate. I felt that too and if I'm being honest, part of me still does. That takes time to get over and I think we have to be realistic about this.

I think it's natural for us to blame and demonize the women who rejected us or didn't live upto our standards because we are hurting, but I believe in most cases we all play our part. Some guys get complacent, some ignore the red flags, or in your case spin a big web of lies (wow man, I don't know how you kept that up!). It all comes back on us in the end.

It does get easier though and your perception changes into something healthier. Eventually you stop over-analysing your mistakes, stop strategising or feeling tempted to contact her, and the stomach stops churning and you stop wondering if she's with someone else and you kind of accept the way things are.

 

[orbion2013]

Orbion, I read your story, almost identical to mine. I think it would depend if she was a high value woman, which is very unlikely considering her single mom status (which unless her husband left her or widowed, leaves things to be desired).

When I read about your comment about 'her fvcking ex taking a higher priority than me', it felt like a bucket of cold water bro. That is exactly what caused my outburst which lead her to dump me. She still called me jealous despite the fact that she assertively and feistily DENIED me ever meeting her ex husband, despite having no common children yet talks to him...bs!




Jariel - I've been following your posts man, hang in there. look maybe this will make you feel better, to think that other people such as me have hit lower lows... in my case I also thought (or at least she made me believe) I had found my soul mate, I mean we did a lot of things together and were even learning hobbies together (Tango dancing, etc)... I could not be any happier, she was logical in most things except when it came to disrespecting me in front of others (not acknowledging me as bf, etc.). I broke up with her 6 weeks ago before she called it quits 2 weeks ago for that very reason.

Any ways, despite her recent flakiness and gradual loss of interest, I acknowledge I was an arsehole and still don't know why she put up with me for 6 months. I mean, I lied about being single, not having kids, about being a former spy (to impress her - she even laughed one day while watching 50 first dates saying I copied cat his lines LOL), she also found out through my wife intimate stuff only the two of us knew, I promised/trained her for a high paying job (which I think helped me bed her), took her to see wedding reception places, came up with an imaginary baby daughter, our honeymoon spot, even where we would retire. Worst part? I believed my own lies and it's hurting like hell.

no man, i don't believe she is a high value woman at all.... all her friends are low value slvts... she has atleast 5 shag stamps tattood on her body... including my name now

she lies alot, is also very unreliable... behaves more like a child than a adult... and willing to take part in 3sums??

also communicating with her is impossible... she sulks, walks away, silent treatments... becoming the victim... blaming others...

i have read up on passive aggressive people & she totally fits the bill...


i noticed some of you guys had great relationships with your exes in the past & have some great memories...

in my case, i don't have many!

for the majority of the relationship, she was pretty much a bad girlfriend....

we split up atleast 10 times int he space of two years... i wonder why

 

[bateman72]

Another short lapse for me...

I went on a date tonight with this hot woman who has been offering to fulfill all my fantasies. I've been so turned on by our messages lately and really hot for her and she for me. We met up and the tension was so high, she was really into me and ready to go at it.

.

Jariel:

I gotta tell you I love your sensitivity man. I think it bodes well for you to emerge from this breakup as a super stud ready to meet the real girl of his dreams.

I had a very similar experience this weekend. I also had a date with a girl willing to indulge my fantasies and I got quite a bit further than you. This girl completely followed by script and was performing oral sex on me and I just could not finish.

I ended up closing my eyes and started building a mental picture of my ex. as you as that picture came into focus I released. I stumbled through the next hour or so of interaction with this kind hearted person with a terrific ache in my chest. I got back in my car and blinked back tears.

the very next night I am out in a club I went to with my ex not even a month ago. I look down at a table and there is one of those reservation placards sitting there with her name on it (she has a unique first name). We were ( I thought) very much in love sitting at that same table just a few short weeks ago.

again, blink back tears. But actually, like you I am can feel myself getting better and these tears that want to come are more like the tears you get when recalling warm memories or watching some sentimental movie.

I am trying to look at these little "lapses" like workouts for my mind. If I wasn't a little wistful and sensitive I don't think these moments would affect me as much and i don't think i would be developing the kind of mental toughness that seems to forming now.

If i was to lurk on her social media and see a picture of her with another guy it would completely destroy me today. However, experiencing and surviving these little moments of pain as I go through my days are making me tougher. when the evidence of her new life is finally thrust into my face i should be able to take it.

day 10 (after breaking contact at day 18, 28 days since my breakup)

 

[Jariel]

i noticed some of you guys had great relationships with your exes in the past & have some great memories...

in my case, i don't have many!

for the majority of the relationship, she was pretty much a bad girlfriend....

we split up atleast 10 times int he space of two years... i wonder why

But this is where you have to take responsibility. As bad as she is, you chose to go back to her 10 times.

I know that it's hard to get past the emotions and you always want to believe they have changed, you want the relief from the pain or rejection or the ego boost of getting your ex back, but this is a cycle of unhappiness for you mate and you have to take control and finally walk away.

Time to meet someone else man and perhaps you will realise how it is to have a truly happy and healthy relationship.

You were doing so well last time you were here, you ignored her mails and letters and I could see you were making good progress. You can cut her out of your life if you really try! Just don't get sucked back in this time.

 

[orbion2013]

But this is where you have to take responsibility. As bad as she is, you chose to go back to her 10 times.

I know that it's hard to get past the emotions and you always want to believe they have changed, you want the relief from the pain or rejection or the ego boost of getting your ex back, but this is a cycle of unhappiness for you mate and you have to take control and finally walk away.

Time to meet someone else man and perhaps you will realise how it is to have a truly happy and healthy relationship.

You were doing so well last time you were here, you ignored her mails and letters and I could see you were making good progress. You can cut her out of your life if you really try! Just don't get sucked back in this time.

yeh jariel i was back on track the last time i was here.... i was ready to move on, hard as it was... i was hitting the gym hard & getting better.

i know we was both at the early stages of our break ups...

but things went wrong in her life.. with her family & friends etc.... and guess what?

she came looking for me.... begging... and i mean really begging... she turned up at my house, after i ignored atleast 20 of her emails.

even hounded me down on POF lol

she told me she would do anything & everything to make the relationship work & she would not risk screwing things up again...

i think seeing her, bought all the emotions back & in my weakness i took her back...

withing only 3 weeks i relaized... BIG F@CKING MISTAKE

nothing had changed.... so after an argument, i changed my mobile number, went ghost on her.. and have not said a word to her ever since!

she sent me an email 6 days later saying it was over blah blah blah


i know the only way out for me and to find happiness, is stay away from this woman for the rest of my life... she is bad news all round.

full of regret for taking her back.... but maybe sometimes, that is the length you have to got through, to trluy walk away, forever and for good

 

[Jariel]

Jariel:

I gotta tell you I love your sensitivity man. I think it bodes well for you to emerge from this breakup as a super stud ready to meet the real girl of his dreams.

I had a very similar experience this weekend. I also had a date with a girl willing to indulge my fantasies and I got quite a bit further than you. This girl completely followed by script and was performing oral sex on me and I just could not finish.

I ended up closing my eyes and started building a mental picture of my ex. as you as that picture came into focus I released. I stumbled through the next hour or so of interaction with this kind hearted person with a terrific ache in my chest. I got back in my car and blinked back tears.

the very next night I am out in a club I went to with my ex not even a month ago. I look down at a table and there is one of those reservation placards sitting there with her name on it (she has a unique first name). We were ( I thought) very much in love sitting at that same table just a few short weeks ago.

again, blink back tears. But actually, like you I am can feel myself getting better and these tears that want to come are more like the tears you get when recalling warm memories or watching some sentimental movie.

I am trying to look at these little "lapses" like workouts for my mind. If I wasn't a little wistful and sensitive I don't think these moments would affect me as much and i don't think i would be developing the kind of mental toughness that seems to forming now.

If i was to lurk on her social media and see a picture of her with another guy it would completely destroy me today. However, experiencing and surviving these little moments of pain as I go through my days are making me tougher. when the evidence of her new life is finally thrust into my face i should be able to take it.

day 10 (after breaking contact at day 18, 28 days since my breakup)

Thanks man. I must admit, I do have quite a lot of women throwing themselves at me lately. It may be my efforts in the gym or my renewed confidence and self perception. A lot of guys would love to be in my position and I can see how the break up is starting to benefit me. It's just really difficult when the one woman you want is the one you can't have.

I think it's natural what we're going through. We're trying to fill the emptiness we feel with other women, other activities, but obviously our exes were a big part of our lives and not just some sexual thrill or trophy girl.

Not that I'm comparing our exes to dogs, but I do see a similarity when you lose a beloved pet. I loved my childhood dog so much, he was there as I grew up, he was faithful, great company and when he died it tore me up so much. Obviously, going out and getting a new dog would not end my grief. In fact, I may even resent that new dog for a while. But a couple of years passed and I did get another dog and I grew to love her too. She was never a replacement, she never took the place of my childhood dog, but she was unique, had her own characteristics and lovable traits and I connected and loved her for who she was.

Likewise, we can't just replace our exes and expect that grief to go away. But eventually we will meet someone else who will shine in their own way.

Maybe I'm being naive, but I honestly believe a lot (although not all) of our exes go through the same thing. When they visit these places we used to visit, there's bound to be memories attached for them too.

I know that it broke my ex's heart when we split up and I know there are places she'll visit that will bring back memories of me. She told me after the first break up how she had visited our special place and remembered our time there and how happy we were, and how she sat there with tears rolling down her cheeks.

But like you say, all this is helping us to develop the mental toughness we need. It's good for us, like a bootcamp for the mind and as I've said before, it makes you a lot more immune to rejection. I am steer clear of my ex's Facebook too, but I do believe that months or a year down the road we could talk again and be on friendly terms.

 

[yellowfever]

Day 8

I took an overnight flight from Jakarta Indonesia to Hong Kong. Even though I got 4 seats to lie flat on (only person in economy with 4 seats), I could not sleep much.

I'm taking the bus from Hong Kong to China and chatting with one of my mates. he was great to help me through my emotions. I feel like **** and I can't stop thinking about her.

I'm back in my apartment for the first time since she left and it feels lonely. I really hate this.

I have someone coming over tonight, I hope she can make me feel happy but I fear I will only think of my ex.

I still lurk on social media looking at her out and about her city in Vietnam. I can see some of her messages to her ex-bf from 18 months ago. I know she is waiting for him to come back. He's in Japan. He is expecting to return in March.

BTW, the I am at 46yo (white) Canadian and she is 25yo Vietnamese. Best relationship of my life.

I still hope she calls or writes me. I would take her back in an instant if I got the chance. As for now, I will try my best to find someone else and I will work on improving myself.

I agree with Bateman, don't buy **** for women. It's not really necessary. I will apply this lesson for next time.

There are too many guys that spoil their Asian gfs. In this case, I did not spoil her but someone has given her $5000 in the past week or so which is a huge sum in Vietnam. She asked me for such money in the past and I balked at that idea. Once you start doing that - where does it stop?

I feel sick. I don't know if I will ever be happy again. Sometimes I want to jump from my apartment window but as I am on the second floor, it probably would not have the effect I desire.

I put on 2kgs in Indonesia in a week. I need to lose weight again. This is not going to be easy.

 

[yellowfever]

Day 8

I took an overnight flight from Jakarta Indonesia to Hong Kong. Even though I got 4 seats to lie flat on (only person in economy with 4 seats), I could not sleep much.

I'm taking the bus from Hong Kong to China and chatting with one of my mates. he was great to help me through my emotions. I feel terrible and I can't stop thinking about her.

I'm back in my apartment for the first time since she left and it feels lonely. I really hate this.

I have someone coming over tonight, I hope she can make me feel happy but I fear I will only think of my ex.

I still lurk on social media and I see that she is out and about her city in Vietnam. I can still see some of her current messages to her ex-bf from 18 months ago. They write and talk every day now. I know she is waiting for him to come back. He's in Japan. He is expecting to return in March.

I still feel VINDICTIVE. I don't know if I should let him know all about our relationship or not? Also half of her family never knew about our relationship to protect her reputation, she said.

I'm still seething with anger over this breakup. It was totally unexpected. I have since came to realize from this forum that basically she lost respect for me and I became AFC. Still the way it happened was totally unexpected.

She told me she wanted to leave this relationship just 2 days before we traveled together to Europe on a vacation. She still went with me ( I begged her to come with me) but that trip was 2 weeks of walking on egg shells and was not the trip that I originally planned to do with her. She left this relationship about a week after we returned from this vacation together.

BTW, the I am at 46yo (white) Canadian and she is 25yo Vietnamese. Best relationship of my life.

I still hope she calls or writes me. I would take her back in an instant if I got the chance. As for now, I will try my best to find someone else and I will work on improving myself.

I agree with Bateman, don't buy gifts for women. It's not really necessary. I will apply this lesson for next time.

There are too many guys that spoil their Asian gfs. In this case, I did not spoil her but someone has given her $5000 in the past week or so which is a huge sum in Vietnam. She asked me for such money in the past and I balked at that idea. Once you start doing that - where does it stop?

I feel sick. I don't know if I will ever be happy again. Sometimes I want to jump from my apartment window but as I am on the second floor, it probably would not have the effect I desire.

I put on 2kgs in Indonesia in a week. I need to lose weight again. This is not going to be easy.

I am going back to Vietnam at the end of this week. I will stay for maybe 2 weeks. It's a great place to find fresh girls but it's also convenient to meet her if it should happen. I'm going there because I like Vietnam and I think about starting a business there and moving there permanently as I planned to do before I met my ex.

 

[thecreature]

I got yellow fever as well. I was doing this cute American Chinese girl. She was as horny as fvck. Her puzzy was wet as fvck really quick and she did all sorts of nasty shiit like asking me to come in her mouth and swallow it.

 

[bateman72]

check your pm

I took an overnight flight from Jakarta Indonesia to Hong Kong. Even though I got 4 seats to lie flat on (only person in economy with 4 seats), I could not sleep much.

I'm taking the bus from Hong Kong to China and chatting with one of my mates. he was great to help me through my emotions. I feel terrible and I can't stop thinking about her.

I'm back in my apartment for the first time since she left and it feels lonely. I really hate this.

I have someone coming over tonight, I hope she can make me feel happy but I fear I will only think of my ex.

I still lurk on social media and I see that she is out and about her city in Vietnam. I can still see some of her current messages to her ex-bf from 18 months ago. They write and talk every day now. I know she is waiting for him to come back. He's in Japan. He is expecting to return in March.

I still feel VINDICTIVE. I don't know if I should let him know all about our relationship or not? Also half of her family never knew about our relationship to protect her reputation, she said.

I'm still seething with anger over this breakup. It was totally unexpected. I have since came to realize from this forum that basically she lost respect for me and I became AFC. Still the way it happened was totally unexpected.

She told me she wanted to leave this relationship just 2 days before we traveled together to Europe on a vacation. She still went with me ( I begged her to come with me) but that trip was 2 weeks of walking on egg shells and was not the trip that I originally planned to do with her. She left this relationship about a week after we returned from this vacation together.

BTW, the I am at 46yo (white) Canadian and she is 25yo Vietnamese. Best relationship of my life.

I still hope she calls or writes me. I would take her back in an instant if I got the chance. As for now, I will try my best to find someone else and I will work on improving myself.

I agree with Bateman, don't buy gifts for women. It's not really necessary. I will apply this lesson for next time.

There are too many guys that spoil their Asian gfs. In this case, I did not spoil her but someone has given her $5000 in the past week or so which is a huge sum in Vietnam. She asked me for such money in the past and I balked at that idea. Once you start doing that - where does it stop?

I feel sick. I don't know if I will ever be happy again. Sometimes I want to jump from my apartment window but as I am on the second floor, it probably would not have the effect I desire.

I put on 2kgs in Indonesia in a week. I need to lose weight again. This is not going to be easy.

I am going back to Vietnam at the end of this week. I will stay for maybe 2 weeks. It's a great place to find fresh girls but it's also convenient to meet her if it should happen. I'm going there because I like Vietnam and I think about starting a business there and moving there permanently as I planned to do before I met my ex.

dude our situation is almost identical. I just sent you a PM.

 

[mikey2012]

I took an overnight flight from Jakarta Indonesia to Hong Kong. Even though I got 4 seats to lie flat on (only person in economy with 4 seats), I could not sleep much.

I'm taking the bus from Hong Kong to China and chatting with one of my mates. he was great to help me through my emotions. I feel terrible and I can't stop thinking about her.

I'm back in my apartment for the first time since she left and it feels lonely. I really hate this.

I have someone coming over tonight, I hope she can make me feel happy but I fear I will only think of my ex.

I still lurk on social media and I see that she is out and about her city in Vietnam. I can still see some of her current messages to her ex-bf from 18 months ago. They write and talk every day now. I know she is waiting for him to come back. He's in Japan. He is expecting to return in March.

I still feel VINDICTIVE. I don't know if I should let him know all about our relationship or not? Also half of her family never knew about our relationship to protect her reputation, she said.

I'm still seething with anger over this breakup. It was totally unexpected. I have since came to realize from this forum that basically she lost respect for me and I became AFC. Still the way it happened was totally unexpected.

She told me she wanted to leave this relationship just 2 days before we traveled together to Europe on a vacation. She still went with me ( I begged her to come with me) but that trip was 2 weeks of walking on egg shells and was not the trip that I originally planned to do with her. She left this relationship about a week after we returned from this vacation together.

BTW, the I am at 46yo (white) Canadian and she is 25yo Vietnamese. Best relationship of my life.

I still hope she calls or writes me. I would take her back in an instant if I got the chance. As for now, I will try my best to find someone else and I will work on improving myself.

I agree with Bateman, don't buy gifts for women. It's not really necessary. I will apply this lesson for next time.

There are too many guys that spoil their Asian gfs. In this case, I did not spoil her but someone has given her $5000 in the past week or so which is a huge sum in Vietnam. She asked me for such money in the past and I balked at that idea. Once you start doing that - where does it stop?

I feel sick. I don't know if I will ever be happy again. Sometimes I want to jump from my apartment window but as I am on the second floor, it probably would not have the effect I desire.

I put on 2kgs in Indonesia in a week. I need to lose weight again. This is not going to be easy.

I am going back to Vietnam at the end of this week. I will stay for maybe 2 weeks. It's a great place to find fresh girls but it's also convenient to meet her if it should happen. I'm going there because I like Vietnam and I think about starting a business there and moving there permanently as I planned to do before I met my ex.

Dude, Im sorry to say your Viet gal is a HO. She will go to the highest bidder. She left coz you had no money. No money No honey. I guarantee if you call her up and offer her 5k she will be back with you. You dont need to go NC. You need to contact her and offer her the dough and your troubles will be over.

 

[mikey2012]

So.... Day 2 months+

I have to say this thread really helped me in the beginning. As most men, I do believe in some CONSISTENCY. The rules in the first post of this thread were the ones I've been following during September.

Now, when looking back on it, I'd say the first couple of weeks were the hardest. But sh1t... she's just a skit, none the less, a person who did not even give me the respect that my aquaintances give me.

So why spend time and energy thinking about her?

No reason what so ever.

Sure, she did try to contact me. Get some proof that I wasn't mad at her or whatever. To me it's more of the 'whatever' than anything. After the 2 months passed I started giving her more than a 'yes', 'no' or 'talk to John about that, I've given him the info you need to know'.

Do I want to call her now? Text her? Ask if she wants to hang out? If she's dating someone?

Not a chance......... don't have her number, never bothered to memorize it, her facebook profile is removed from my list and still blocked on MSN.

And that's the way I like it, so why change it?

Now..... to the guys who are struggling:
Get your grip together. Go see other girls.... spin some plates, get a rebound girl. Act like a jerk. Hang out with your friends (and NO, female friends does NOT count). Get a new hobby. And for chrissake..... drop all contact with the girl who ripped your heart out.

I'm serious, it will simplify things and help you to get your life back on track.

Thats true. At least acquaitances wish you Happy New Year.

 

[thecreature]

Day 37

Thinking of breaking no contact. Just to wish her happy new year. Thoughts?

 

[Blinkers]

Day 37

Thinking of breaking no contact. Just to wish her happy new year. Thoughts?

I am thinking I wish I could lean through my screen and b1tch slap you...

Don't waste your life anymore than you already have - its time to move on.

 

[thecreature]

I am thinking I wish I could lean through my screen and b1tch slap you...

Don't waste your life anymore than you already have - its time to move on.

It's hard. Today especially . Don't know why? I was ok last few days . Has she really forgotten me? How can she be so heartless ? These things go through my mind.

 

[cgr68311]

Saturday afternoon I had a one of those moments and texted a random msg (as if directed toward someone else) to my ex from an unknown # (my way of not breaking NC):

“truck broke down babe, pastor read rom 8:39 said hope is what lets good win over bad & to hang on tight to loved ones even in **** times, kiss ur sis & kids 4 me”

Note: Please know that I don’t have a truck, never called her babe, never said ‘****’, she doesn’t have a sister, but we did go to church together so there, indirect msg. Then, this morning (4:47am) I had another moment, texted her from the same #:

“babe truck still broken needs MAINTENANCE hasnt been used still yours – I’ll bring it once fixed even if means start @ 0 miles, can you wait? Let’s not give up!”

Note: Early AM she is quite vulnerable, I know. Saturday she did not reply to initial text but she did call the # to find out who it might have been. She was the only gal out of 5 that I texted such to go that far into finding out who it might have been – others just ignored as wrong recipient or texted ‘who is this’. Also, in the second unknown text, I wrote
'MAINTENANCE' in uppercase because when we dated I told her of a parable that people are like a business (i.e. restaurant) that sometimes it’s open partially or even shutdown for ‘maintenance’ and the owner may even place a sign ’Please excuse us for the mess and inconvenience, we are under MAINTENANCE

I know this borderlines pathetic, petty, stalkerish, etc. but it's done. Not sure if she will connect the dots to our situation or connect this to me....

 

[Blinkers]

Well Mr Creature.
Wimminz don’t love, least not in the same way as a man does. It’s an evolutionary thing. Don’t get hung up on it, it’s not like women have any control over their emotions; they hardly seem to have any self-control at all actually.
Cave dwelling women evolved to respect and attract the Alpha male. The tough brut that could kill and skin a wild boar with his bare teeth, and fight off rival cave men with the bones… This woman only acted out of self-interest and surprise, surprise, they still do.
To keep this man around an ensure species survival, evolution created a mix of chemicals to stimulate the man’s protective and providing side – we mistake that as Love.
Men love women & women respect power. If you lose that respect, they no longer feel protected and off they go to the next cave…
Try to remember that what you are looking for doesn’t exist. Then ask yourself for how long will you continue searching.

 

[Jariel]

Saturday afternoon I had a one of those moments and texted a random msg (as if directed toward someone else) to my ex from an unknown # (my way of not breaking NC):

“truck broke down babe, pastor read rom 8:39 said hope is what lets good win over bad & to hang on tight to loved ones even in **** times, kiss ur sis & kids 4 me”

Note: Please know that I don’t have a truck, never called her babe, never said ‘****’, she doesn’t have a sister, but we did go to church together so there, indirect msg. Then, this morning (4:47am) I had another moment, texted her from the same #:

“babe truck still broken needs MAINTENANCE hasnt been used still yours – I’ll bring it once fixed even if means start @ 0 miles, can you wait? Let’s not give up!”

Note: Early AM she is quite vulnerable, I know. Saturday she did not reply to initial text but she did call the # to find out who it might have been. She was the only gal out of 5 that I texted such to go that far into finding out who it might have been – others just ignored as wrong recipient or texted ‘who is this’. Also, in the second unknown text, I wrote
'MAINTENANCE' in uppercase because when we dated I told her of a parable that people are like a business (i.e. restaurant) that sometimes it’s open partially or even shutdown for ‘maintenance’ and the owner may even place a sign ’Please excuse us for the mess and inconvenience, we are under MAINTENANCE

I know this borderlines pathetic, petty, stalkerish, etc. but it's done. Not sure if she will connect the dots to our situation or connect this to me....

I'm not going to rip into you for this as you sound very emotionally fragile and desperate at the moment, but doing this kind of thing really isn't helping you and is going to drive her further away.

It's going to be quite obvious to her that it's you. I've received these kinds of anonymous texts from girls before and even if you don't know for sure, you suspect it came from them. It's just going to make you look cowardly, desperate and pathetic, and this kind of behaviour is what kills attraction.

You have to ask yourself now, how do you want to be remembered? Do you want to be the guy who turned needy, creepy and wouldn't leave her alone after your break up, who lost all his dignity and masculinity? Or do you want to be the guy who handled the break up like a man, remained cool and strong and walked away?

In the former case, you will never ever get your ex back. If the thought ever crosses her mind she will remember how badly you handled the break up and decide it's too risky to take another chance with you. She'll be too scared to contact you in case it sends you crazy and clingy again. But if you handle it cool, she may think it's worth trying again at some point in the future when emotions have settled.

More importantly, it's about self perception. Every time you make a move like this, it will hit you how emotionally insecure and weak you are and you feel worse about yourself. A man is defined by his actions and if you keep acting this way it will become your identity..."I am weak" or "I am insecure" and you are causing permanent damage to yourself. Whereas if you can act strong and handle this in a dignified manner, this will form how you see yourself and you will emerge from it a better man.

Your entire focus right now should be on rebuilding yourself and doing everything you can to improve your confidence.