The Myth About Love That Causes Relationships To Fail

WilliamC

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Hey guys, I have come across this article below at this website http://www.lovefallacy.com that actually i feel that's the truth about relationship and love, what's your opinion about it?

"It all started out great when you dated this beautiful,
hot girl. You are attracted to her and she is attracted to you.

Everything in the first few weeks was like living in
heaven, whatever you do, your mind kept thinking about her
and the girl too, you are always in her mind.

The love was passionate, intimate and full of fire. Both of
you started to promise each other to be together forever,
and planning the future, in the married life, and even
producing babies, living together. You may even have given the
'baby' a name.

All of a sudden, all the passion and love just disappeared,
she started to have her own life, friends and seldom talk to
you, or even go out with you.

And you, sometimes you are alright with it, you know the
honeymoon period is over but somehow you are doing your
very best to keep the relationship intact.

And as time goes by, both of you are tired to be together,
perhaps you still stick with her because you can't forget
the intimate times or the happy moments.

She's the one who initiate the break up and you couldn't take
it, you thought things would get better if both of you stay together.

But still she insisted on the break up and there's nothing
you can do.

This crushed you and everyday you just think of her, you began to
ponder what went wrong and what you can do to correct it. You
even called her to ask her what's going on.

There's nothing wrong with that.

The only thing that causes relationships to fail is because
you don't understand what is love all about.

There is one truth that most people can't figure it out.

Most of us have taken physical attraction for love.

You may not think that I'm right but look carefully and analyze
this logically. What is bringing 2 person together in the beginning?

Love? No! It's physical attraction...

You may say the love is slowly built up in the relationships.

Wrong again!

It is physical attraction that builds up in the relationship till the point
where you felt the strongest attraction pull and then the feeling
is suddenly gone.

After that, some guys will be thinking about the memorable times you
had deep intimacy with her. Most of the time, you hoped to
feel the same peak feeling again. But the truth is you won't get
the same pleasure again.

You and your partner don't know what happened but the love that you
and your partner felt is suddenly gone. And that's the real reason why relationship fails.

Most couples don't understand the difference between love and physical
attraction.

Once the physical attraction is gone, both of you will actually
see each other's true self, especially those bad habits which will reveal
itself when the physical attraction is gone
and the relationship won't last long unless both of you know
what love is all about.

That's why a true long-term relationships should be getting to know each other well first and not jumping into relationship straight.

Only when both of you get to know each other at least a year, where
both of you know each other pros and cons, then slowly, start a
relationship.

One important thing about relationship here, don't get intimate too
fast, something which is common nowadays that causes relationships
to fail too. You may hear some guys would say that you would be losing out if you don't have sex with them.

What do you have to lose?

Nothing! And everything to gain.

Why?

First, if you really want a long and everlasting relationship,
it doesn't matter whether you have sex with the girl.

And because both of you controlled the temptations of having sex,
your relationship won't be based on physical attraction.

It will be based on other factors like communication, connection,
love, character, personality, and chances are you will have
a longer relationship if you build the relationship on this.

And most guys will only tell you the opposite because of their
egos, What I mean is it's certainly a ego boosting to guys who get a lot
of sex. One reason- to prove how masculine or attractive they are...

However, a guy with wisdom and intelligent would know to withhold
sex to a later stage in the relationship.

Of course, there are also cases whereby a relationship turn out
to be successful through physical attraction. But there's not many
cases out there.

What I suggest to most people would be to make as much friends of the
opposite sex, get to know them and mixed around with them, not as
couples but as normal friends.

This way, they get to know you and you get to know more about them
as well, and when both of you know each other well, then decide whether
to start a relationship.

And a relationship is for you to make sure and confirm that your partner
is the one for you and vice versa. Because you don't want to spend your
whole life together with someone you can't tolerate. "
 

wayword

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Well, as you get older, you'll realize that COMPATIBILITY is more important than "LOVE" for lasting LTRs.

And one of the litmus tests is if you get asked, "Why do you love/like her so much?" and you have no real good answer... Then it's probably just a pretty shallow attraction.
 

WilliamC

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I don't think anyone can love somebody everyday for the whole life. Or at least this is not possible for me.

But somehow, if for long term relationship, I'll make sure I put in the effort to love someone and in the hope that she will also do the same.

I mean you can't be ****y and funny throughout every second of your life right? There will be some period of time where you have bad mood too..

So am I right to said that for the beginning part is the attraction part and that is your personality, but for the long run, it's a commitment for both party?

Correct me if I'm wrong..
 
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Donjuanforever

READ THIS

I actually think there's two types of love out there today.

1. REAL MATURE LOVE

2. DISNEY LOVE

The disney love was created by fantasy, entertainment, and imagination. You meet a girl and become attracted to her physically. The attraction is so strong, that when she's gone you BEGIN to fantasize about her, this is where you form a picture of her in your head, that, and I repeat, IS NOT THE GIRL YOU MET, but the girl you just created.

What happens know is that you begin to EXPECT CERTAIN BEHAVIORS out of her when you see her again. Now, at this point, she is still physically attracted to so you get what you want. Eventually, she comes down off her high, and YOUR EXPECTATIONS STOP GETTING MET.

Now, naturally, we as men are more logical beings, we would figure that "something must be wrong with her" "I must have done something wrong" "I must fix this." So now we become "CLINGY" and hang onto her in hopes to turn her back into NOT HERSELF, but the GIRL WE IMAGINED HER TO BE. Now, for some reason, she doesn't do what she used to do anymore, and eventually you see her with a big bulky guy on her arm and you go home crashed as to "what happened?"

ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of this can be eliminated.

1. REAL MATURE LOVE
I met a girl I am physically attracted to, that's all I can go on right now because I don't know her as a person, don't know her spiritually, soulfully, etc. so NO MENTAL THINGS SHOULD BE GOING ON RIGHT NOW. (Repeat that Don Juan Forever) NO MENTAL THINGS SHOULD BE GOING ON RIGHT NOW. I talk to her based solely on my physical attraction for her and she does the same thing.

We fvck.

And I continue the same thing with every woman I see as attractive and feels the same, make sense?

Now, down the line, SHE SAYS, (repeat that Don Juan Forever) SHE SAYS, "I want to get to know you better." Now we move from lovers, to lovers and friends, NOT BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND YET.

So not only do we fvck, we also talk about other things as well. We are getting to know each other.

Over time, our friendship becomes so strong, and we are still fvcking each other, that NOW (repeat that don juan forever) NOW, we give ourselves a TITLE of "Boyfriend and Girlfriend" why????? BECAUSE NOW WE ARE!! I'm here boy(man, lover) and friend( soul mate) and she's my girl(woman, lover) and friend (soulmate)

Does this make sense? Out of fvcking 10 girls, only about 2 have the potential for a relationship, most girls are just like us, "let's hit it and quit it."
 

Victory Unlimited

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Yo Troops!


This is a good thread. Thanks for posting that article WilliamC.

To me it DOES seem a little bent toward the whole idea of abstinance. Which I'm not actually TOTALLY against. But other than the reality of the fact that sex feels so good, I also know that 99% of the time, most babes who WANT to wait usually turn out to be hypocrites.

Most all babes, including religious girls and feminist celibates, usually are only waiting with the guy they consider is the MOST viable LTR/marriage candidate. They usually have Fukkk Buddies to "knock the edge off" so that they can appeart more virtuous to the guy they claim to REALLY like.

I've recently started the whole Fukkk Buddy thing myself, and I still struggle with the moral and emotional ramifications of my choice to do this. This mostly due to the fact that I KNOW that sex is ultimately designed to bond two people together---emotionally, spiritually, physically, etc..

However, having said all this, I believe that WITHOUT the sex, building a relationship with a babe will be even more difficult ultimately. Why? Because these babes out here are scandalous these days. My experience has been that if YOU'RE not fukking her, either's she's fukking somebody else, or just as worse----she WANTS to fukk somebody else.

I believe that the truth is that a relationship between a man and a woman that has NO SEX in it is just a friendship.

And Donjuanforever, love how you broke down the 2 kinds of love. Being the unfortunate idealist that I am, I wish that your description of how men and women relate WERE NOT true. But I believe that they are.

And your take on a Mature Love is the way I've already committed to go. I've tried that Disney Love for most of my life and have ONLY the results you spoke of to show for it.

Oh, and one more thing:

Donjuanforever, have YOU noticed that your description of Disney Love is a perfect prescription for ONEITIS??????!!!!!!


Think about it...





Peace...one day.
 

Jariel

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WilliamC said:
What I suggest to most people would be to make as much friends of the opposite sex, get to know them and mixed around with them, not as couples but as normal friends.

This way, they get to know you and you get to know more about them
as well, and when both of you know each other well, then decide whether
to start a relationship.
This at least is very good advice!
 

Socialreject

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Yadda yadda...

Does anyone recall an incident where such an approach to finding a LTR ever worked??

I sure as hell can't. Friends are friends and stay friends unless you are dealing with some seriously insecure people who were just to scared to get naked with you in the first place.

The whole "wait to fukk" stuff is just a load of crap imho. I once had a gf like this, she wanted to wait because she wanted to know whether our relationship was strong enough to withstand a lack of sex, ie if there was more to it than that. (stupid me at the time actually thought that made sense) Surprise, surprise, years later she stuffed my **** in a jar under the sink never to use it again and i kicked her ass out of my house!

I don't care how well some article is written, it all comes down to this... guys who consiously choose not to have sex are monks, and chicks who consiously choose not to have sex belong in the nunnery.

Going through the whole "lets wait for sex" is as effective in finding a matching partner as "fukking around" is...

What really happens is... boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy seduces girl, boy fuks girl, boy still likes girl...

Then it moves onto either...

Boy starts liking girl more, boy becomes exclusive with girl, boy and girl move into a LTR

OR

Boy start liking girl less, boy doesn't want exclusive with girl, girl dumps boy or becomes an FWB while boy scouts around for other prospects.

It all boils down to simply this question

What do i want for RIGHT NOW??

Some less fortunate guys will answer this with a relationship, with some chick, because that's the only way to secure steady supply of sex. If you this is your answer, you're in for a world of hurt!

Most guys will simply answer it with SEX, i just want sex right now, i want to fukk and bust my nuts! And SOME DAY when i find a really cool chick... i want to have a commited relationship with her and show her my weaknesses, what i REALLY think, who i REALLY am deep down.

This article is telling guys to find "friends" and then see what they are like, and then all sneaky like, propose to fuk their brains out... I think every AFC who comes to this board can relate to this "tactic".

What you get is...

-Blue balls
-Heavy balls
-Lots of quality time with mr hand and mr lubricant
-Lots of flirting with Mrs. swallows while you pay 1.99$ per minute to watch her mastrubate on a webcam
-Lots of "friends" who talk to you about their menstral period, their emotional oddities, their weird hobbies, their past relationships, the gentle and comfortable nature of the latest OB tampon, etc

FUK THAT!
 
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