The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

[JST8828]

Been very sporadically talking to a chick I met about three months ago through a friend. Super hot, super nice, super great chemistry between us in person. Extremely difficult woman to feel out though overall as far as if she's really into me at all. It's been stressful gaming her the few times I've seen her in person. Finally about a month ago I got her number and texted her about something casually to feel her out. Unfortunately I was met with some flat responses, some of which even included misspellings which I found quite odd, though if nothing else, she did continue to text a few times to finish up the convo even when not asked anything. Still, I was somewhat turned off and decided she wasn't worth asking out. I texted her one more time a week later and again was given a flat/brief response, also with a misspelling. I ended up privately speaking to someone who knows her a bit though who told me she is a "very dry texter". I find that weird considering how normal and chatty she is in person, but I digress.

In conclusion I've decided though that I have nothing to lose and am going to ask her out anyway just to see what she says. I want to craft up a bit of a strong yet casual text offer, but I'm still brainstorming. Usually never think this hard about asking a chick out, and I know if she's really interested in a romantic way she'll go anyway, but I just feel like there's a little weirdness about this chick so I want to make her as comfortable as I can. Right now I have something that goes like this: "So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. No worries if you can't"

Any thoughts or advice on the matter much appreciated..

 

[Bible_Belt]

She's probably got a guy already, but you would have known that a long time ago if you hadn't been so averse to being direct. You should have just sent her that text asking her out as soon as you got her number.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Been very sporadically talking to a chick I met about three months ago through a friend. Super hot, super nice, super great chemistry between us in person. Extremely difficult woman to feel out though overall as far as if she's really into me at all. It's been stressful gaming her the few times I've seen her in person. Finally about a month ago I got her number and texted her about something casually to feel her out. Unfortunately I was met with some flat responses, some of which even included misspellings which I found quite odd, though if nothing else, she did continue to text a few times to finish up the convo even when not asked anything. Still, I was somewhat turned off and decided she wasn't worth asking out. I texted her one more time a week later and again was given a flat/brief response, also with a misspelling. I ended up privately speaking to someone who knows her a bit though who told me she is a "very dry texter". I find that weird considering how normal and chatty she is in person, but I digress.

In conclusion I've decided though that I have nothing to lose and am going to ask her out anyway just to see what she says. I want to craft up a bit of a strong yet casual text offer, but I'm still brainstorming. Usually never think this hard about asking a chick out, and I know if she's really interested in a romantic way she'll go anyway, but I just feel like there's a little weirdness about this chick so I want to make her as comfortable as I can. Right now I have something that goes like this: "So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. No worries if you can't"

Any thoughts or advice on the matter much appreciated..

"So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. They're debating changing their name to 'JST8828 And Dry Text Girl's Speakeasy' and I don't think we should let them down."

Fixed it for ya. Generally speaking you want to be c0cky/funny.

 

[Clockwerk50]

@Bible_Belt might be right. Grammar errors and dry texting are never a good sign, especially when she hasn’t made herself available to you.

What were the first 2 conversations about? How did you initiate it?

 

[JST8828]

She's probably got a guy already

She's 100% single. Thanks.

 

[The Duke]

Been very sporadically talking to a chick I met about three months ago through a friend. Super hot, super nice, super great chemistry between us in person. Extremely difficult woman to feel out though overall as far as if she's really into me at all. It's been stressful gaming her the few times I've seen her in person. Finally about a month ago I got her number and texted her about something casually to feel her out. Unfortunately I was met with some flat responses, some of which even included misspellings which I found quite odd, though if nothing else, she did continue to text a few times to finish up the convo even when not asked anything. Still, I was somewhat turned off and decided she wasn't worth asking out. I texted her one more time a week later and again was given a flat/brief response, also with a misspelling. I ended up privately speaking to someone who knows her a bit though who told me she is a "very dry texter". I find that weird considering how normal and chatty she is in person, but I digress.

In conclusion I've decided though that I have nothing to lose and am going to ask her out anyway just to see what she says. I want to craft up a bit of a strong yet casual text offer, but I'm still brainstorming. Usually never think this hard about asking a chick out, and I know if she's really interested in a romantic way she'll go anyway, but I just feel like there's a little weirdness about this chick so I want to make her as comfortable as I can. Right now I have something that goes like this: "So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. No worries if you can't"

Any thoughts or advice on the matter much appreciated..

Ah just keep brainstorming ideas so the next 5 guys can have their shot.

Less thinking, more reacting. You are too much in your head.

 

[Sega Genesis]

So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. No worries if you can't"

As a woman, sounds good but leave the bolded out! You need to come from a place of confidence and confident men always assume a girl will say yes to an invite.

If she's not interested she'll let you know, you shouldn't have to remind her that you'll be okay if she isn't. Sounds a bit weak imo. Best to just leave that part out, it's unnecessary.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Yea I wouldn't be saying " no worries if you can't " its weak

Even though I am 99% sure this woman is going to be a headache and probably isn't interested in you if you are hell bent on doing it anyway

The best approach is always

" Hey I am going too ( insert shared interest) on blah blah day , would you like to come with me

Anything other than a straight yes is a no

and you have your answer without trying to come off like some sort of bargain basement Romeo

 

[JST8828]

Yea I wouldn't be saying " no worries if you can't " its weak

Even though I am 99% sure this woman is going to be a headache and probably isn't interested in you if you are hell bent on doing it anyway

The best approach is always

" Hey I am going too ( insert shared interest) on blah blah day , would you like to come with me

Anything other than a straight yes is a no

and you have your answer without trying to come off like some sort of bargain basement Romeo

Thanks for your two cents. I agree your approach is always the best way, and I've thought of that many times, but really there are no shared interest options I can think of and also none that work at this time. We both do like hiking, but its freezing where we live right now. We both sort of like UFC, but those events don't come on until like 10pm at night. She's "a little bit" into baseball, but there's no baseball season right now. Though I think going to a game on a first outing would be a bit much. So I'm not sure what else there is. All signs point to simply asking her to get a drink. She did just get back from a big vacation, so I can also phrase my "offer" in a way where I tell her she can tell me all about her trip.

 

[Smartone84]

I never liked the whole elaborate proposals or as @Bingo-Player alluded to, "bargains".

"What would you think about?", "Are you free (whatever) night, I wanted to ask...", etc. F that man.

You want confidence? ASSUME she wants to go out with you and go in with "So when are we going out for drinks? I'm free this weekend if you're up for it. My treat "

Sure it sounds a little c0cky, but what do you have to lose, honestly?

 

[Bingo-Player]

Thanks for your two cents. I agree your approach is always the best way, and I've thought of that many times, but really there are no shared interest options I can think of and also none that work at this time. We both do like hiking, but its freezing where we live right now. We both sort of like UFC, but those events don't come on until like 10pm at night. She's "a little bit" into baseball, but there's no baseball season right now. Though I think going to a game on a first outing would be a bit much. So I'm not sure what else there is. All signs point to simply asking her to get a drink. She did just get back from a big vacation, so I can also phrase my "offer" in a way where I tell her she can tell me all about her trip.

Then simply use the " have you ever been to (insert place you want to go ) to eat ?"

Her : yes / no

You : I need to try it, would you like to join ?

I mean you could even do this with a bar although its slightly out of context

The point is to go in with a low pressure " do you want to join me " rather than a high pressure " I am planning this as a date and want you to say yes "

Modern women are flaky and indecisive you really have to avoid that tripwire especially with ones that your not sure even like you

 

[Clockwerk50]

I never liked the whole elaborate proposals or as @Bingo-Player alluded to, "bargains".

"What would you think about?", "Are you free (whatever) night, I wanted to ask...", etc. F that man.

You want confidence? ASSUME she wants to go out with you and go in with "So when are we going out for drinks? I'm free this weekend if you're up for it. My treat "

Sure it sounds a little c0cky, but what do you have to lose, honestly?

That approach fits the thread's title, "the most confident way of asking a woman over text," but I don't think it's the right move for OP.

He mentioned that she texts with grammatical errors and is dry in conversation. Plus, he's already initiated twice, which has subtly signaled his interest. If he reaches out again, he risks crowding her with attention. Too much attention early on can come across as insecure and make her question his motives. It also creates the false belief that he needs to keep applying pressure to maintain her interest.

If I were him, l'd take a step back and wait for her to text at least once before asking her out. And if she doesn't? Hopefully, he's talking to other women too in order to keep getting his penis wet and to make sure this woman doesn’t turn into oneitis.

 

[JST8828]

He mentioned that she texts with grammatical errors and is dry in conversation. Plus, he's already initiated twice, which has subtly signaled his interest. If he reaches out again, he risks crowding her with attention. Too much attention early on can come across as insecure and make her question his motives. It also creates the false belief that he needs to keep applying pressure to maintain her interest.

If I were him, l'd take a step back and wait for her to text at least once before asking her out.

She's unlikely to text me. While I'm not 100% sure if she has the romantic interest or not, I am 90% sure she falls into a very small category of women who are just very inexperienced and do not know how to flirt or take hints properly. I get vibes that, and truly think that she is extremely inexperienced when it comes to dating and if I were a betting man, I'd bet that she is still a virgin, too. So to be clear, I don't really think it matters if I've already texted twice and don't think it would matter if I texted again. Yes I think she knows I like her to an extent, but she's not going to make a move or show any cards. The only thing left to do imo before this gets any further complicated is to simply ask her out.

In addition, I think there's a good chance there really may be more to the misspelling and punctuation errors in the texting. (i.e. some mild form of dyslexia even) Her personality and behavior in person is the complete opposite and in no way reflects these nonchalant and dry texts. I'm just going to send one single text asking the chick out and get it over with. If its a go, nice. If she gives me anything other than a "Yes" or "sounds good", then back to my other plates.

 

[New_Journey]

I want to craft up a bit of a strong yet casual text offer, but I'm still brainstorming

You already texted her a few times, and she responded dry, what more evidence that she's not interested in you, you need? You wanna be a man? Ask her out in person, texts is for boys.

Usually never think this hard about asking a chick out, and I know if she's really interested in a romantic way she'll go anyway, but I just feel like there's a little weirdness about this chick so I want to make her as comfortable as I can

Women who are interested in you, won't be confusing.

Right now I have something that goes like this: "So what would you think about grabbing a drink next week? I know a fun spot. No worries if you can't"

This is weak and pathetic. Go to her in person and ask her, "Do you have plans on this day? There is this fun spot I found and I want you to come with me"

She's "a little bit" into baseball, but there's no baseball season right now. Though I think going to a game on a first outing would be a bit much. So I'm not sure what else there is. All signs point to simply asking her to get a drink. She did just get back from a big vacation, so I can also phrase my "offer" in a way where I tell her she can tell me all about her trip.

Bro come on. You are 100% in her frame, you already have onitis for this chick and you don't even know her. Fvck what she wants, you take her to do something that YOU want, you are the guy who will be bringing the fun, not her. If she doesn't like the things you do, then you are not compatible.

 

[JST8828]

If she doesn't like the things you do, then you are not compatible.

I'm sorry, but this makes no sense. I like basketball. So if she doesn't like basketball we're not compatible?

With regards to asking her out in person, we only see each other once every few weeks if that, in a friends gathering of some sort. I really don't want to wait that long.

 

[New_Journey]

I'm sorry, but this makes no sense. I like basketball. So if she doesn't like basketball we're not compatible?

So you won't take her to a basketball game cause she doesn't like basketball, but you'll take her to a baseball game because she likes it? You're pretty much not doing what you like to accommodate her likings? This is pathetic.

I really don't want to wait that long.

Why? Are you scared of other men taking her away from you? Newsflash she's fvcking other men. I'll save you the trouble, she will reject you after you send a text. Fix your mindset first and then focus on women.

 

[JST8828]

Why? Are you scared of other men taking her away from you? Newsflash she's fvcking other men. I'll save you the trouble, she will reject you after you send a text. Fix your mindset first and then focus on women.

You sound like a pretty miserable and nasty guy

 

[New_Journey]

You sound like a pretty miserable and nasty guy

Not really. I've just being there, done that, and got the t-shirt, I know what I'm saying. Ignore my advice, do what you want and report back. Good luck.

 

[jhonny9546]

It's hard to say that there is a way.

You see a woman with a beautiful purple dress, and then it really amazes you because it fits her figure perfectly and gives her a really beautiful look highlighting her hair and making her look more sunny.
So, you give her a compliment like that and she blushes and is flattered.

Then another one tells her that she is purple and she looks funny with all this dress she looks like a little moldy sausage and she blushes and is confused.

Which of the two boys did she get wet for?
And it's not a damaged vs healthy woman competition, because I saw many situation in which both kind of woman got wet for the 2nd one.
This happens on text messages too