The most confident way to ask a woman out via text

[JST8828]

Just a FYI.

Suggesting a specific time or date without first considering her schedule often leads to rejection without a counteroffer. It also creates a sense of negative compliance momentum. Yore twice as likely to get a yes if you first ask when she’s available for example, turning 25% odds into 50%.

It’s a common mistake men make - thinking, I want to see her, this time works for me, and suggesting it without factoring in her availability.

Simply checking her schedule first before proposing a plan drastically increases your chances of success.

Good stuff asking her out though even though the odds were really low.

I kind of agree, but it still would be hard to believe a woman that’s truly interested wouldnt counter in some form. it’s also not like I asked her for one specific day. what would your text have looked like?

 

[New_Journey]

Suggesting a specific time or date without first considering her schedule often leads to rejection without a counteroffer.

If you do that in person like telling her that you're going somewhere and to join you, this is the preferred method, it shows confidence, showing that you're different from guys who invite via text, if she can't they often reschedule if they like you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

She just got back from a trip the night before, so I texted her
"So was (trip location) all you had hoped for? Looks like I'm not going to be running into (store name that she works at where I've seen her most lately) anytime soon. What would you think of grabbing a drink on one of your days off to tell me all about your trip? My treat"

She responds by saying "It was amazing! I'm busy this week but maybe next"

I simply wrote "Sounds good, let me know when you're free"

And that was that. Nothing else. No specific day mentioned, no real enthusiasm about my offer. Could have asked her specifically when she's free next week but I didn't want to come off at all desperate. Oh well. Win some you lose some. Next...

When I said it didn't matter what you say when you ask her, that didn't include being a supplicating beggar...

Yikes.

 

[Clockwerk50]

I kind of agree, but it still would be hard to believe a woman that’s truly interested wouldnt counter in some form. it’s also not like I asked her for one specific day. what would your text have looked like?

I wouldn’t have texted her. She had to invest a little bit before I asked to hang out and I mentioned in the first post. After 2 initiations it would have been hard to get off the hole you digged. Other members may have a different mentality to increase the odds or decrease the time spend on this girl, however, I don’t think there were any words that you could have said for her to agree to a meet up.

Try going after high interest women since they are subtitle to your influence. Again, if she really was interested to see you she would move mountains to see you whatever day you picked (get a babysitter, call in sick, tell the husband to beat it, etc).

 

[New_Journey]

IMO we should close this post. OP already what the answer of the girl rejecting him. If OP wants to learn more about seduction, he should make a new thread.

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

Just a FYI.

Suggesting a specific time or date without first considering her schedule often leads to rejection without a counteroffer. It also creates a sense of negative compliance momentum. Yore twice as likely to get a yes if you first ask when she’s available for example, turning 25% odds into 50%.

It’s a common mistake men make - thinking, I want to see her, this time works for me, and suggesting it without factoring in her availability.

Simply checking her schedule first before proposing a plan drastically increases your chances of success.

Good stuff asking her out though even though the odds were really low.

If this has worked for you, then by all means keep doing it. However, in all my years of dating and being in relationships (including the woman I'm engaged to now), I've gotten far more yeses for dates by NOT asking what their schedule is.

I frame my ask the way I said the OP should do it: I tell them I want to take them out, and I give them the option of 2 days that I'M available. Now, if she can't do either days that's fine and she's free to suggest a day that would work better... but why do I do it this way?

Simple: because I want HER making time for a date based on MY schedule, not hers.

It's a power dynamic play. Of the two of you, you should be the leader, which is what she wants you to be. Therefore, she should be trying to fit her life into YOUR schedule (i.e. follow your lead and when YOU have time for her), not the other way around.

You give them the option of 2 days so it makes them feel like they have power of choice. That also lets them know you're free more than one day, so if those days don't work for her you're possibly open to another day.

This is just one small example of communication dynamics that men don't understand. For women, who are great at picking up passive language and social cues (as a generality), you don't have to spell out everything for them in order to have good communication. In this case, you don't have to use word salad to get them on a date by saying ALL the things like "hey I want to take you out and I want to make sure you're ok with where we go and what we do and oh by the way can you check your schedule to see if you can fit me into it?"

Less words = more power. "Hey, we should get drinks, I'm free Tuesday or Thursday, lmk".

Lastly, the real reason asking her schedule is a waste of time is because WOMEN WILL ALWAYS BREAK THEIR SCHEDULE FOR MEN THEY LIKE. And for men they don't like, they'll bring up a scheduling conflict of their own accord. Either way, it again means you don't have to ask them about it because their answer to you will let you know if they feel you're worth their time.

 

[Clockwerk50]

If this has worked for you, then by all means keep doing it. However, in all my years of dating and being in relationships (including the woman I'm engaged to now), I've gotten far more yeses for dates by NOT asking what their schedule is.

I frame my ask the way I said the OP should do it: I tell them I want to take them out, and I give them the option of 2 days that I'M available. Now, if she can't do either days that's fine and she's free to suggest a day that would work better... but why do I do it this way?

Simple: because I want HER making time for a date based on MY schedule, not hers.

It's a power dynamic play. Of the two of you, you should be the leader, which is what she wants you to be. Therefore, she should be trying to fit her life into YOUR schedule (i.e. follow your lead and when YOU have time for her), not the other way around.

You give them the option of 2 days so it makes them feel like they have power of choice. That also lets them know you're free more than one day, so if those days don't work for her you're possibly open to another day.

This is just one small example of communication dynamics that men don't understand. For women, who are great at picking up passive language and social cues (as a generality), you don't have to spell out everything for them in order to have good communication. In this case, you don't have to use word salad to get them on a date by saying ALL the things like "hey I want to take you out and I want to make sure you're ok with where we go and what we do and oh by the way can you check your schedule to see if you can fit me into it?"

Less words = more power. "Hey, we should get drinks, I'm free Tuesday or Thursday, lmk".

Lastly, the real reason asking her schedule is a waste of time is because WOMEN WILL ALWAYS BREAK THEIR SCHEDULE FOR MEN THEY LIKE. And for men they don't like, they'll bring up a scheduling conflict of their own accord. Either way, it again means you don't have to ask them about it because their answer to you will let you know if they feel you're worth their time.

This is a hypothetical outcome tree of how the texting would be if you asked for her schedule and didn’t?

Scenario 1 (asking for her schedule):
Clockwerk50: How's your schedule looking this weekend?
Her: I don't have anything planned, I might be busy, why?
Clockwerk50: We should get drinks together this weekend.
Her: I can't, my grandma is sick. I have to go see her.

Scenario 2 (asking for her schedule):
Clockwerk50: How's your schedule looking this weekend?
Her: I don't Mr. Clockwerk, how about you?
Clockwerk50: We should get drinks together this weekend.
Her: Yes, for sure! I can't wait

Scenario 3 (giving two options):
Clockwerk50: Hey, we should grab drinks. I'm free Tuesday or Friday, let me know.
Her: Not sure, my friend might want to schedule something. I'll let you know!

Scenario 4 (giving two options):
Clockwerk50: Hey, we should grab drinks. I'm free Tuesday or Friday, let me know.
Her: Yes, for sure! Le & know what time.

Scenario 5 (she makes herself accessible):
Her: Hey Clockwerk, I have something to do this weekend but let me know if you can meet so l can cancel it.

Her level of interest dictates the outcome, not the wording. If she likes you, she'll make time - if not, she'll flake or stall. Asking for her schedule doesn't mean you're not leading, you still have to propose a date and plan.

Remember, seduction is the process of drawing people in, making them want to peruse you and possess you. If women are not trying then you are doing something wrong.