So theres no chance at all of salvaging this even if she sees me doing better? Btw I was lazy around the house but I always paid for half of the rent and paid for all the groceries. I was also going to college full time while I was unemployed to better myself. I am proud I got a degree out of that time
It’s good you got your degree. It’s good you got employment. Those are certainly positive things.
The real problem is how she perceives you.
The problem is that perception is reality on an individual scale. Unless she perceives you differently your positions in relation to one another will not change.
Example. I went to high school with this guy. A classmate of mine. Kinda geeky & kinda non descript. Always cool but not a standout. Also quite average looking. Nobody much paid attention to the dude. Well. He went out and became one of the most prestigious real estate brokers in the city. Married a gorgeous woman, is a high influence high status man everywhere he goes. He’s made it.
Obviously he elevated himself. But here’s what else changed: people’s perception of him.
Nobody much cared what he said or thought about things then. But now? People pay attention. Among our class mates? The guy is a big deal now.
The only thing that can change perception from her perspective is time & distance in combination with tangible results.
So this is the seminal reason you need to focus on yourself. I don’t care what motivates you, if the idea of her motivates you? That’s fine. But you must continue and habituate to the actions that create the results. And if she fades from your life in the meantime? So what? You create of yourself a man who is desirable to someone else.
Right now you need to get your habits right, work on yourself as top priority. Withdraw from her some while you do this. People don’t see change easily incrementally, think of a kid you see who you don’t see often. Suddenly that kids all grown up.
Perception. Her perception of you is the problem here. Only time & results can change that. And she may fade away.
