The line between gossip and talking about others lives when they're not around

[AmsterdamAssassin]

But we are animals who emulate others

No, we're not.

We're not animals who can just follow our instincts. We don't just 'follow our nature', especially if our nature is harmful to others.
As children we might emulate others in order to learn about life, but adolescents have to stop emulating and become adults.
Maturity means growing up and not acting on your immature impulses, becoming responsible and accountable for your actions. That is what is meant with 'become a mature masculine man'.
And that is how you attract high quality women, by being an actual man, and not a boy in man's clothes.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss event, small minds discuss people.

Of course, but I talk with my friends a lot, and inevitably we talk about our mutual friends at some point.

If I'm talking with a random dude, it's always about ideas, business or work usually. I had a impromtu "double date" recently and I didn't know any of them. When the two girls left to go to the bathroom for 15 minutes (obviously to talk about us) I talked with the other guy about getting work visas in Bali/Thailand and that whole "digital nomad/passport bro" lifestyle, we did not talk about the girls, or any girls, whatsoever. When the two girls came back, they said "were you guys shvt talking us the whole time?" lmao, classic projection. Women are the ones who gossip and talk about sex in detail and they assume we do the same thing. It doesn't occur to them that men run the world precisely because we are so interested in discussing ideas.

 

[jhonny9546]

I only see these guys gossiping about other people, and they do it mainly to entertain women in their conversations.
Women not only laugh, they are happy, in the presence of these guys, but they will also report the gossip they just saw. In short, this thing, manages to create a kind of bond of trust.
Those are just my IRL reports

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Women not only laugh, they are happy, in the presence of these guys, but they will also report the gossip they just saw. In short, this thing, manages to create a kind of bond of trust.

No, it doesn't. Even women know that chatty guys will eventually gossip about them, and the 'trust' is superficial. Women trust me with a lot of 'shameful' stuff, because they know I'm discreet and taciturn about my relationships.

Plus you assume they are bonding. Do you have any evidence of a guy being sexually attractive to women while gossiping? The fact that they are 'happy' only means they're 'entertained'. Entertaining women rarely leads to the type of relationship you're looking for.

 

[BaronOfHair]

In short, this thing, manages to create a kind of bond of trust.
Those are just my IRL reports

This sort of juvenile behavior may enhance one's standing in Rome or Naples, even as it's viewed less charitably in different parts of the world... As The Assassin noted in a separate thread, Italians are viewed by the rest of Europe as a nation of overgrown toddlers*


*Though lately, The US and The UK are giving Italy a run for it's money on this front

 

[jhonny9546]

Plus you assume they are bonding. Do you have any evidence of a guy being sexually attractive to women while gossiping? The fact that they are 'happy' only means they're 'entertained'. Entertaining women rarely leads to the type of relationship you're looking for.

One is his 7years GF, I'm sure another woman there want to **** him.
The other are there for gossip.


" Entertaining women rarely leads to the type of relationship you're looking for"
This.
I saw my sister in two different LTR behaving accordingly to her men.
In the first LTR she was really "childish" and having too many "back" gossip.
In the 2nd LTR she became adult, prone to career, very educated.

Like two different person. And that is because a woman "mirror" her men behaviour. Learn from you, and want you to guide her.

But this also make me think: Why are there women which keep LTR with unhealthy men, if they can also be good with a healthy men?

This sort of juvenile behavior may enhance one's standing in Rome or Naples

What is considered here a mature men, is considered a "elderly" men here in Italy.
That is just the general POV on it.
But I trust "feminine" women out there, will find those "mature" men and never leave after they can experience what being a man really is. Something they can't forget.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Why are there women which keep LTR with unhealthy men, if they can also be good with a healthy men?

Bad judgment, mostly. However, pretty much everyone shows bad judgement in some part of their lives, especially the parts where logic doesn't apply. Like relationships.

Women* can be smart, educated, world-wise, and still fcuk up their relationships because they overlook red flags and prioritise the 'feelings' they get from the 'unhealthy' men. Often it's because they have emotional issues that needs to be resolved. In a healthy relationship, they will have to deal with the issues. In unhealthy relationships they can ignore their accountability and keep their emotional issues, because their unhealthy man wouldn't want her to work out her problems.

It's convenience driven mostly.

*men also get in disastrous relationships, but for other reasons mostly lust related.

 

[jhonny9546]

because their unhealthy man wouldn't want her to work out her problems.

You can pay for 100$ and still cannot find the information you wrote up above.
But this sentence really resonate. What do you mean? "because their unhealthy man wouldn't want her to work out her problems"
Is that because the men is getting advantage over her because of that or any other reason?
Interesting!

Again thanks for the comment above, I've saved on my syllabus

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Is that because the men is getting advantage over her because of that or any other reason?

It's a matter of control. If a person is emotionally unstable, they're easier to manipulate than when they're stable.

As long as a woman has emotional issues, you can trigger those issues to keep her 'off-balance' and manipulate her.

A normal/healthy man will want to avoid drama, so they actually have a stake in a woman solving her emotional issues and cutting down on her drama.