I have been fascinated by this concept for awhile.
Not that I am sure that I could ever practice it myself, but the concept of having an "open" relationship intrigues me.
I am of the school of thought that says that humans are semi-monogamous creatures. I believe that men seek less discriminate sexual variety from numerous partners, and woman seek sexual variety (albeit more discriminate) due to the "good dad vs. good genes" dilemma.
Men cheat to theoretically "spread their seed", and women cheat to theoretically "fill the gaps".
So people cheat. And when people cheat there are all kinds of negative ramifications. It is an act that can tear a relationship apart in short order.
This is why "open" relationships intrigue me. You are removing one of the biggest causes of the destruction of relationships. You are essentially circumventing the "system".
And when you think about it there is only one thing that stands between the success of this type of a relationship between willing partners. And that is jealousy. Remove the emotional component and you have the basis for the perfect way to solve the issue of investing years or even decades into something that has the potential to disintegrate in a matter of days or months.
We can argue the stats all day long, but each and every one of us has to acknowledge that no matter how faithful and loyal WE are as men, when you enter into a relationship with a woman, you have SOME control over her through your own actions, but ultimately you run the risk of getting the short end of the stick when you find out one day that your wife was not faithful, or worse yet, that your son isn't actually yours.
Like I said....I don't know that i would ever have the fortitude to change my way of thinking enough to allow myself to participate in this type of arrangement, but I have to wonder if it isn't a great option for those who have the correct mindset.
I won't go into great detail as to what makes me bring this up now, but I will say that I had an eye opening experience on New Years Eve.
I was at a party with a group of friends, and one of them was a guy I don't know very well but had met a few times before. His wife was there and I met her for the first time that night.
Talking to the husband early in the night, he told me a story about a mutual friend of ours who I hadn't seen in a few years. I guess recently his wife of 20 years all of a sudden flipped out, said "this isn't who I am", cleaned out his bank account and headed out of state.
So here I am cringing from the fortune that befell a mutual friend, and we start talking about marriage. He says to me, "You know the secret to a great marriage?" Of course I have my own ideas but I wanted to hear what he had to say so I listened intently. He leans in and says "An open-minded wife".
The conversation got changed at this point so he didn't elaborate and i didn't exactly understand what he meant until later on at the party when I was talking to his wife. Later we started talking and she was telling me about how great her husband is, and how lucky she is to have found him. I guess they were married in their early 20's and have held strong for the better part of two decades.
Then her husband walks over and they start talking about sexual stuff, in a lighthearted manner, but serious at the same time. It was then that I started to see what he meant by an "open-minded" wife.
The night carried on and I could tell that the wife was feeling me out. She kept throwing things out there to see how I would react, and I could see that she was trying to see if I was open to their lifestyle.
There was more to the story which I won't go into because I know the direction it would take this thread, but suffice to say if I had my own car there and were so inclined I could have stayed at their house.
Anyway, back to the point.
The next day I started thinking about how happy these two seemed, in stark contrast to our other friend whose wife all of a sudden "changed" and up and left him after quite a few years. It just makes me wonder if you could say that "A couple who plays together, stays together".
Personal preferences/prejudices/religious influences aside, what do you think?
Not that I am sure that I could ever practice it myself, but the concept of having an "open" relationship intrigues me.
I am of the school of thought that says that humans are semi-monogamous creatures. I believe that men seek less discriminate sexual variety from numerous partners, and woman seek sexual variety (albeit more discriminate) due to the "good dad vs. good genes" dilemma.
Men cheat to theoretically "spread their seed", and women cheat to theoretically "fill the gaps".
So people cheat. And when people cheat there are all kinds of negative ramifications. It is an act that can tear a relationship apart in short order.
This is why "open" relationships intrigue me. You are removing one of the biggest causes of the destruction of relationships. You are essentially circumventing the "system".
And when you think about it there is only one thing that stands between the success of this type of a relationship between willing partners. And that is jealousy. Remove the emotional component and you have the basis for the perfect way to solve the issue of investing years or even decades into something that has the potential to disintegrate in a matter of days or months.
We can argue the stats all day long, but each and every one of us has to acknowledge that no matter how faithful and loyal WE are as men, when you enter into a relationship with a woman, you have SOME control over her through your own actions, but ultimately you run the risk of getting the short end of the stick when you find out one day that your wife was not faithful, or worse yet, that your son isn't actually yours.
Like I said....I don't know that i would ever have the fortitude to change my way of thinking enough to allow myself to participate in this type of arrangement, but I have to wonder if it isn't a great option for those who have the correct mindset.
I won't go into great detail as to what makes me bring this up now, but I will say that I had an eye opening experience on New Years Eve.
I was at a party with a group of friends, and one of them was a guy I don't know very well but had met a few times before. His wife was there and I met her for the first time that night.
Talking to the husband early in the night, he told me a story about a mutual friend of ours who I hadn't seen in a few years. I guess recently his wife of 20 years all of a sudden flipped out, said "this isn't who I am", cleaned out his bank account and headed out of state.
So here I am cringing from the fortune that befell a mutual friend, and we start talking about marriage. He says to me, "You know the secret to a great marriage?" Of course I have my own ideas but I wanted to hear what he had to say so I listened intently. He leans in and says "An open-minded wife".
The conversation got changed at this point so he didn't elaborate and i didn't exactly understand what he meant until later on at the party when I was talking to his wife. Later we started talking and she was telling me about how great her husband is, and how lucky she is to have found him. I guess they were married in their early 20's and have held strong for the better part of two decades.
Then her husband walks over and they start talking about sexual stuff, in a lighthearted manner, but serious at the same time. It was then that I started to see what he meant by an "open-minded" wife.
The night carried on and I could tell that the wife was feeling me out. She kept throwing things out there to see how I would react, and I could see that she was trying to see if I was open to their lifestyle.
There was more to the story which I won't go into because I know the direction it would take this thread, but suffice to say if I had my own car there and were so inclined I could have stayed at their house.
Anyway, back to the point.
The next day I started thinking about how happy these two seemed, in stark contrast to our other friend whose wife all of a sudden "changed" and up and left him after quite a few years. It just makes me wonder if you could say that "A couple who plays together, stays together".
Personal preferences/prejudices/religious influences aside, what do you think?
