The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE

[Queeneleanor]

The Queen speaks

Remarkable advice and I shall be advising my female subjects of it. I have just exacted perfect revenge on two loathesome villains who claimed to be noblemen - one from Egypt and one from Persia - in using this very manner of dealing with the agony of rejection, so eloquently expressed in your post, when they attempted your manipulative techniques upon me, by dumping me. Now they are to be hung drawn and quartered by the police of my country. Serve them right. Hearts should never be broken when they are good ones. Their hearts were black ones and one of them had black lungs too. I dare say the executioner shall discover just how black their hearts and lungs truly are post vivisection. I Queen Eleanor, have blocked both knaves from further attempts to reignite fires in me that were earlier quenched by their appalling cavalier attitudes and lack of empathy for finer, natural feminine tendencies born in me. I am very pleased to have read further on your cruel techniques of manipulating my sex and I have found these also to be the perfect solution to the male species who offends the female by abandoning her with reckless disregard for her feelings and self worth. It is a joy to me to punish villains who do this, the same way! If any villain shall dare come into my confidence ever again as the last two did, they shall meet a worse fate and wish their mothers had not born them. I have noted that a number of knaves write in contempt on your forum about the female sex. These knaves need lessons in chivalry and manners towards the daughters of the world, as do so many of the wenches and shrews with whom they insist on consorting, then abandoning and playing cat and mouse with, according to their posts that do so reply to your recipe for successful manipulation of them.

 

[Don-Kong]

This post appears bang on, but isn't.

Fellow Dons, my brothers, it will actually feed your misery worse. Why? Because you are simply playing games with yourself.

I too have field-tested this. It's ancient. And yes, it works to a degree. But at what price? I got this woman back by the same thing but eventually we got back and it was alright only to have the same thoughts down the road.
It's cliche but sometimes she aint the one.

You will end up trying way too hard to solve everything. I guess it depends on how long you have been together and under what circumstances the break was for, it's very individual and personal but I don't advocate this theory whatsoever. A Don should be able to suck up the pain and walk away.

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

This post appears bang on, but isn't.

Fellow Dons, my brothers, it will actually feed your misery worse. Why? Because you are simply playing games with yourself.

I too have field-tested this. It's ancient. And yes, it works to a degree. But at what price? I got this woman back by the same thing but eventually we got back and it was alright only to have the same thoughts down the road.
It's cliche but sometimes she aint the one.

You will end up trying way too hard to solve everything. I guess it depends on how long you have been together and under what circumstances the break was for, it's very individual and personal but I don't advocate this theory whatsoever. A Don should be able to suck up the pain and walk away.

I agree for the most part. I actually just got done with a 6 month relationship that I had to use NC twice to get her back in. The third time she came back, I told her "I'll get ahold of you and we can catch up", and I just never followed up. The games never stopped because I never fixed my inner-insecurities fully. When I got weak, she would bail, when I'd go NC and move on (truly move on, not pretend), she'd come back, and the cycle would repeat.

What I disagree with is that it is lying to yourself. Wrong. You're forcing yourself to do what works. It might feel like a lie at first, but if you do it right, you will honestly get over her and before you know it you're playing the field and that trick might even come back again. When she does, then it's your turn to decide what to do with the power: if you've fixed your inner betaness, you can try again - if you haven't fixed it, you'll waste more time and $ continuing the cycle (as you mention).

I differ in that: She could be "the one", if such a things exist. But you might not be "the one" for her given your current mentality. Fix your problems, be "the one", then you get to decide if she's "the one". If you need NC to re-calibrate, so be it. It's just hard to fully change a few weeks or months time, but I don't think it's impossible. You gotta change for yourself though, not for "the one".

 

[Don-Kong]

You say forcing yourself to do what works? I think we are talking about the same thing but coming at it on different angles.

My point is that you should concentrate on yourself fully. **** the expectation or wishing you could get back with her. That is like mind ****ing yourself and will only prolong the agony. None of the bull**** even thinking about she will feel anxious and all that other ****, or she'll start to regret. Stop. **** it. The no contact works a treat, we both agree. You storm on ahead into your own life with NO THOUGHT whatsoever about the ex.

But of course it's not so easy. I think i'll start a post on the back of this.ANd what I meant by not 'the one' was not currently the one for you at that time, since all relationships are in constant change.

 

[Rave18]

• http://youtu.be/oqGaQEX4xO0

• http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/rooting-through-garbage/

 

[BeingAndNothingness]

I'm thinking this would also be applicable when a girl asks for space? What do you think? Does that change the dynamic? To just drop off the face of the earth without any reason makes you seem unstable and this is what I'm going through now. Girlfriend is getting distant, asks for space and then calls, then says she's unsure about things, then says she always wants me in her life....

Today I told her to take some time and think about things...onward to NC so she can see how it actually feels without me. Good idea or bad, what's your take?

 

[Lotus Effect]

Mate, it is not tha hard for you to grasp!

SHe does not want to be with you, and the space she needs, is to be filled by another dude than you.

If she likes what shee gets, and you don't give her her "space" she will be sure that she was right on dumping you. If she likes what she gets but you vanish she will wonder how could you disappear with such ease and will wonder if she's done the right decision.

If, the most likely, she don't like what she gets after some 2 or 3 pumpage, and you are not around SHE WILL PANIC!!!

Any of the three options, she is a f*cking slut, who had to try on other c*ck to make sure you were the right one.

When she comes grovelling back, you politely say to her that with you is one chance per lifetime, and she just wasted hers! (even you are dying to get her back)

After you say that, you go home to that liquour and cigar, and watch as you have perfect developed a girl that will be obsseded over you!

Never take trash back! Let her chase you till the end of the days. You will find another one!

 

[kalombo]

@ Metaphysical

Metaphysical,

Please Bro, Give Me Your Skype Or Something As I Urgently Need To Consult With You.
Please Please Please.

Thank You In Advance And Pm Me.

Much Appreciated!

Mike

 

[Cerwin Vega]

^ Last Activity: 12-11-2013 01:45 AM

Sorry man.

 

[kalombo]

I was in a very good relationship with my ex. Until she dumped me saying she needs more freedom, that with me, she becomes negative person etc.. , but also she didn't see that i made some plans for us to move together a " couple life " after 2 years of relationship...
She left for a job, and let me wait for her in her apartment. Then instead of coming back , she decided to stay at her girl friend and thought it was better. So i left by plane after 3 days.
Few days after my departure, she sent me a text telling me i forgot some stuff at her place and that she will send them to me. And asked if i could search my house for stuff she forgot and send them to her. I told her that when i have time i will search and send it.

After that, i went though NC with her for 2 month. I sent her stuff after 1.5 months to her. And she received the box on the 12th of may 2014 ( saw it with the tracking number ). She didnt say anything. Then yesterday 23rd of May ( after 2 months of NC ) , she sends me this text :

" Hi, I just want to thank you, i got the box you sent, as soon as possible we will send your belongings, let me know if anything... "

I answered after few minutes saying

" hi, im the hospital as my mom is having surgery, will text later "

she answered

" uf, what surgery?? i didnt know, hope she is ok, and that it's something small. cross fingers!! Wishing her all the best and that all will be ok... "

I answered

" waiting for her to come out of the surgery room. thank you for the thoughts and wishes"


NOW, the funny part is , why would she text me 10 days after she received her stuff to thank me. If i was her, i wouldnt even say anything or just write " thanks , got the stuff " the same or second day of receiving the stuff...

That's what happened 2 months after no contact. I deleted her from FB the day i landed back home after the break up. She went crazy before 2 weeks and deleted any friend she met through me and we had in common. Probably so i cant have access to her fb profile maybe? She deleted them for no reason just like that.

And she updated her cover photo right after deleting all of them to :

" Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, we all struggle. Just some people are better at hiding it than others "

It's a will smith quote...

METAPHYSICAL, i would really appreciate your point of view on this. Of course people, anybody just comment and share opinions .

thank you!!!

p.s: The point is, is she cracking down because of NC, and she misses me. Or she just misses my attention etc...

 

[kalombo]

but why would she reach to me after 10 days of receiving the package with her stuff to say thank you etc... I have been in NC for 2 months. not a word.

However, i did the mistake of telling her in a text today that i received ( which is true) by post some flyers and catalogues with her pics that i ordered before 3 months and they arrived now. So i texted her they arrived and if she still need them.
But she didn't answer.
Man, i am moving forward, dated and banged other chicks already. But you know the feeling when you get a text of her or see a pic, your chest freezes kind of... can't explain.
thanks for helping buddy

 

[kalombo]

Note that the break up happened this March 2014.

I went there after 2 years+ of relationship for my birthday, along with my mom. Her family wanted to meet my mom etc.. so we planned it this way.
My mom was about to stay 1 week. After 4 days, i tried sex with her while my mom was out of her apartment. She was cold and no mood. She said she cant do it because she is confused in her mind. That she doesn't know where we are going, and that she warned me many times that she felt insecure because she wanted us to finally move in together instead of traveling and having the long distance. bla bla . So sex didn't happen.
SO i said i wont try anymore for it. My mom left after days.

It is to mention that my ex was cool. She was active helping my mom and me to buy clothes, drive us around, joke around etc.. Her family and my mom clicked good and they were amazing together. I didn't expect what was to follow.

I complained the last night , saying that we are living like 2 roomates, saying good morning and good night and nothing else. So i can't live a relationship like that. She started crying like a small kid , remembering and saying some of the good moments we had together. I didn't cry at all, so she said " it's crazy that im the one whose feelings are going away, and i am crying and you, nothing "

Anyway, next day she left to another country for a 2 days job and then had to come back. I was waiting in her apartment. We were texting but just all the necessities only. Then on the way back , she preferred to go and stay at her girl friend house which is in a city about 300 miles from where i was staying.
The next day she start telling me that she couldnt sleep, that she doesnt know what to do, she is confused etc.. .That maybe it's better for her not to come back etc...
After 1 day, she change her profile pic to one with her and her girl friend driving and smiling selfie.
I didn't change anything, i just stopped answering her texts, booked a ticket to leave in the next 3 days ( only available flight ) and left.
From the plane, i wrote her " thanks for the moments we shared during these 2.5 years. goodbye "

She answered after 4 hours, telling me that im a good person , but i need to put more color in my life, to be a less negative person coz life isnt complicated etc... "

After that, i immediately removed her from friends on fb, and changed my profile pic. I deleted a lot of pics of her.
She still keeps until today photos of us she was tagged in and others she posted with me, but she just put the privacy that only SHE can see them etc.. she didn't delete them.

Eventhough she deleted all friends she met through me after 1.5 months of NC, i didn't delete her family and friends who were amazing people to me bro. I just wished she was a bit more like her family. But as a model, she left and started traveling since she was 15, and became independant soon , bought her own place, car etc... Also traveling alone made her feel freedom etc.. That she can handle any situation by herself etc...

That's the whole breakup summary. And i didn't see it coming at all man.

 

[kalombo]

On the other hand, my fb profile ( her family can still see it ) , has new photos of me going with friends to coffee places, beach, bbq etc... It's all showing i moved on really.

 

[kalombo]

Mauser 96, thank you so much for participating man.
Check out the whole post i wrote about the reason of breakup and let me know.
I know how to move on man, i date other others, even intimate with them already, it's just that ****ing is different than looking at a girl that could be the woman to marry or have kids with man...
So of course i put in my head that it's over. But then you think of those good moments that are unique to each realtionship, and you are like " **** man.... " . I know there are billions of other pussies in the world, literally, pussies. But the point is not just to **** , trust me man

thank you once again

Hope the mistake i did to text her about the catalogues didn't ruin the whole 2 NC months! heh In case she answers to me to send them if i can, then should i send or answer back?

 

[Shaka]

My guess is that You still have oneitis.
Just go NO CONTACT at all, spin plates. Eventually, you'll be healed

 

[curtsnokc]

Should I dump her 1st?

If a wife lies, cheats and manipulates, should I just kick her out now before it is too late?

You can see my post here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2153738#post2153738

 

[kalombo]

Mauser96,

I can't thank you more for all your words.

To remind you here, i am not chasing. I stopped answering her texts before leaving her, and then for 2 months until now i did a pure NC.
SHE texted me to say thank you. And then i answered. Yes you are right, even if i didn't think about it while i was writing it, but i wrote more than just " you're welcome " . Because maybe i thought it's finally a chance to hear more about her etc...
But i did NC for 2 months and she texted me. So now if she tells me she wants the catalogues, i will simply send them and not even tell her anything. And then NC and move on. Just as if she didn't exist. This is what she needs to see and feel. Reverse psychology
Let's see how and where it reaches....
Once again, thanks a lot lot lot!

 

[Redwood]

Mauser96 wins the thread, so far brothers.

The big part here is that women (or people in general) can hurt you as much as YOU let them.

 

[Mrperferct]

I just got dumped, was I a bad guy? heck no.. I was too good and that's what happened, she start taking advance of it, until she start feeling guilty for how she was treating me...
we dated for 5 month, I'm 30 she is 28, and I don't have more option that make the NC, easy decision, for 2 reasons:
1-. If I beg she will look at me as desperate and she wont come back (we both talked about it a lot of times), so that will push her away.
2-. If she never comes back, I would be heal anyway....
Today is the Day 5 of NC, we 'spoke' a couple of days ago but wasn't a conversation, just letting me know that she will drop off all my stuff at my place and she wanted to be sure that I wasn't there.

BTW: she still have my apartment keys...

I'm going to try to update every once in a while...

 

[Mrperferct]

I just got dumped, was I a bad guy? heck no.. I was too good and that's what happened, she start taking advance of it, until she start feeling guilty for how she was treating me...
we dated for 5 month, I'm 30 she is 28, and I don't have more option that make the NC, easy decision, for 2 reasons:
1-. If I beg she will look at me as desperate and she wont come back (we both talked about it a lot of times), so that will push her away.
2-. If she never comes back, I would be heal anyway....
Today is the Day 5 of NC, we 'spoke' a couple of days ago but wasn't a conversation, just letting me know that she will drop off all my stuff at my place and she wanted to be sure that I wasn't there.

BTW: she still have my apartment keys...

I'm going to try to update every once in a while...

Update, after 2 weeks of NC, I haven't heard from her, I don't think she'll come back, so I'm starting to being me again... going out, eating, drinking, exercise, my Motorcycle. One day I didn't want to go out, but I did it... and I met someone, even if we are not dating, it make me feel that I can get in to the game as soon as I want...