The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE

[Weezy]

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[zindagi]

hey weezy...thanks once again for the gr8 reply....
i did message her at night 1:00am just saying i been busy a lot and how u doing....
she didn't reply right away but today at 4 she called me and i didn't pick up.

 

[Weezy]

hey weezy...thanks once again for the gr8 reply....
i did message her at night 1:00am just saying i been busy a lot and how u doing....
she didn't reply right away but today at 4 she called me and i didn't pick up.

Did she leave a message? The trick here is not to over play the game. I would call her around 6ish or so so it's like your done with work. Just say hey, just saw you called, and let her talk. Answer her questions, tell her about your day. Set a timer for 10 minutes, if after 10 minutes nothing exciting has been said, just say, okay, well I gotta meet a buddy at the gym. Talk to you soon.

If you get her voice mail, just say hey, just returning your call and leave it at that.

The trick is don't try and hang out, and let her run the conversation, if she just sits and makes it awkward, just say you gotta go. She'll fn love it.

 

[zindagi]

Well, I called her around 6:30 and she did pick. I started the conversation and said exactly as you mentioned. She started explaining where she was busy and been doing what. She said that she have her grandmother at her place and she was been working at her father's restaurant during all these days. Before she had some problem with her father due to which her father and her relations weren't good enough. Once I went to her house and she was making tea for me and her father came back from restaurant, he saw me at house and started yelling at her saying that he doesn't like anybody else inside the house, and being gentleman I told him it's okay I will go outside and I did. Once her father kicked her out of the house at midnight and she message me saying that, I called her up and she was crying.

Anyway coming back to the point, she did talk to me discussing how busy she was and what she been doing all these days. I simply said "no comments" then she asked me why, and I go well its between you and your family so simply no comments, and she goes why you been so rude I am trying to talk to you and you so been mean. I simply said I am not being mean its just i am tired. Then she asked me what I did on Halloween and how are my parents doing, then she started discussing about my photography shoot that I do and some event pictures that I posted on facebook. The she started saying well I called you to see how you doing, its been long I haven't spoke to you because I been so busy and stuff.

 

[Weezy]

Well, I called her around 6:30 and she did pick. I started the conversation and said exactly as you mentioned. She started explaining where she was busy and been doing what. She said that she have her grandmother at her place and she was been working at her father's restaurant during all these days. Before she had some problem with her father due to which her father and her relations weren't good enough. Once I went to her house and she was making tea for me and her father came back from restaurant, he saw me at house and started yelling at her saying that he doesn't like anybody else inside the house, and being gentleman I told him it's okay I will go outside and I did. Once her father kicked her out of the house at midnight and she message me saying that, I called her up and she was crying.

Anyway coming back to the point, she did talk to me discussing how busy she was and what she been doing all these days. I simply said "no comments" then she asked me why, and I go well its between you and your family so simply no comments, and she goes why you been so rude I am trying to talk to you and you so been mean. I simply said I am not being mean its just i am tired. Then she asked me what I did on Halloween and how are my parents doing, then she started discussing about my photography shoot that I do and some event pictures that I posted on facebook. The she started saying well I called you to see how you doing, its been long I haven't spoke to you because I been so busy and stuff.

How did the conversation end?

 

[zindagi]

her younger brother called at the back..he needed to grab some games off the store...so i said do u have to go, np i will talk to you later...but she said no keep going on its k and then later she just said okay i will give you call back in next 30mins i have to take my brother hes just needy for this games...nd dats it

 

[BongDuy]

Are all break ups created equal? Say I go out with a girl for a week, and she says " we should just be friends." I reply " I agree, I just didn't want to say anything." and we go our separate ways.

Should I totally ignore her? like, avoid her at all costs and by not saying " Hi." to her unless she says so first? basically cutting off all things with her unless she initiates?

 

[drift_king]

how long should u ignore her for and NC her if she gets back to u after 1 hour of telling u its over?

especially if we only just started dating and she tells me that we wont' be together and it was a stupid mistake kissing.

i went back too quick i think rather than making her sweat.

 

[Metaphysical]

how long should u ignore her for and NC her if she gets back to u after 1 hour of telling u its over?

especially if we only just started dating and she tells me that we wont' be together and it was a stupid mistake kissing.

i went back too quick i think rather than making her sweat.

they are very emotional. if she dumps you and 1 hr later she wants to get back together, there's something emotionally wrong with her.

i would ignore her for a week or so, watch her squirm and beg.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

This post is awesome.

I did that and a girl went to my work looking for me. Discovered my second phone number and called me saying it was an emergency, tried to see me again to give me back my things. She went nuts! lol. Mind you, it was her decision to break up. I didn´t go back, I could have banged her, though. I was too insecure to handle that, so I decided to bail. *She already had another man lined up (they always do, sneaky girls).

 

[Atom Smasher]

Metaphysical is spot-on.

To the handful of guys who disagree:

Metaphysical (although he may not even be thinking of it this way) is teaching us how to restore the balance of power. The power is grossly weighted toward women these days in virtually every aspect of life, but by employing techniques like this and others, we men can start to shift the balance in our favor.

If there is one thing I loathe about this community is the fatalistic attitude of "That's just how it is. There's nothing we can do about it." WRONG WRONG WRONG.

THere's LOTS we can do about it. First we have to start to believe we can, and then we need to learn and employ the necessary techniques to swing the power in our favor.

This is not about "evil manipulation." This is about LIFE STRATEGY. You use this strategy when you are searching for a job, when you lay the groundwork for asking for a raise, and even when you meet a neighbor and chat in the grocery store. Every intereaction involves manipulating the other person, whether you want something out of them (on one extreme) or whether you just want them to have a pleasant experience speaking with you (on the other extreme).

I hope there will come a day when men grow back their balls and begin to get angry at the status quo; angry enough to DO something about this sad state of affairs. I'm not talking about aimless anger for its own sake. I'm talking about that enlightening moment when the light clicks on and one shouts, "I've had it being this passive chump just trying to get along in the established system of female "empowerment". From this day forth, within my own sphere if influence, I'm going to DO something about it!" It seems that the super-young guys here tend to get it, the older guys tend to get it, but the "youngish" crowd (maybe mid-twenties into the thirties) are very wishy-washy IN GENERAL, (not across the board), and they perceive that they are just a powerless cog in the machine. I think it must have to do with societal trends in formal education, plus the mood of the day.

Guys, you don't have to agree with my every point here, but please consider that we CAN make a difference in this world, one interaction at a time. We TEACH others how to treat us, and when we men band together and teach the world that we have standards and will not be intimidated by current trendy societal experiments (feminism and its offspring), we will accomplish something great for mankind and womankind alike.

Don't imagine that you are a powerless cog in the system. We must reinvent the system with boldness and belief, just as we have invented every other system in existence today. This is our world, men. Why don't we seize it and grow it to OUR specs?

It all begins with the belief that things can change one interaction at a time, and then having the balls to implement.

 

[TizZle]

*BUMP* Is this some good advice? I'd like some opinions from some more experienced members.

 

[SamMalone]

It's excellent advice.

 

[shortie]

All of this is very good advice. definitely a bump

how would you guys handle this situation? she left me after a long long LTR, while she had moved away for grad school, so an LTR turned into LDR which ended the relationship. I made the cardinal mistake of begging and pleading in the initial few days. then i found this site and MAN'ed up. ignored emails until she was emailing my work, but only asking how i was and how she was worried about me. we emailed back and forth a little, until she asked to see me when she is back in town (but the tone seemed to be that we meet as just friends) and i said no. she dropped all contact.

Now she sent me a postcard at New years and emailed me to ask if i got it. this is weeks after our last conversation. Do i respond saying yeah i got it and im good or just ignore it and delete her attempts at contact? someone who has been around this site said respond but keep it short, someone else said dont respond, im a bit confused on what to do here.
i dont want to enable her behavior of just shooting me an email whenever she feels like it, im in no mood to entertain her after what she has done.

 

[drift_king]

they are very emotional. if she dumps you and 1 hr later she wants to get back together, there's something emotionally wrong with her.

i would ignore her for a week or so, watch her squirm and beg.

the text after 1 hour was 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss you'

She freaked out after we kissed saying 'we won't be together, we won't be together, it was a stupid mistake!' again and again. I tried to get an explanation out of her to no avail.

20mins before that she was saying how 'tomorrow we'll know whether we're going to move forward or end ties' I think she wanted more time to think things through whether she wanted to keep seeing me or not (that's not a good sign)

however she was worried I was going to leave the country in a few months and she didn't want a situation with her last bf where they both knew it would end at a certain date cos she was leaving, and it was heartbreaking for her and she vowed never to get into that situation again. something consciously inside of her is stopping her from dating or getting serious with guys who will leave in a few months, is this valid on her part of not getting involved with me?

Still to this day I don't know whether she was genuinely interested in me or she was just using me for attention and the good feeling cos i made her feel special. She beahved like an interested girl, never cancelled always offered another time later in the day, would text me randomly asking what i'm doing cos she missed me. But then in public she'd be quite cold like she didn't want people to know her private business like we were together.

1 minute in the bar she'd be kissing my face and licking my lips and then outside when we went to get a cab she was freezing cold but refused to come inside my jacket and cuddle me to keep warm.. she was like 'no!!!' I was like wtf??

 

[drift_king]

At one point or another, everybody ends up getting dumped for one reason or another, even Brad Pitt.

So there's absolutely no problem with that. The woman just didn't want to be with you any more. Perhaps she only wanted the sex and it got boring or maybe she is looking for something more serious. Nobody is 100% compatible with each other and differences are going to occur and relationships will terminate.

But some of you guys just can't handle being dumped by a woman and you feel like you absolutely NEED to get your ex-girlfriend's back, or at least make them fall in love with you again, for your own self-validation.

So, what exactly do you need to do after a woman breaks up with you?

Should you offer to be friends? HELL NO.

Should you beg her to get together with you? HELL NO.

What if you think she is the woman you were destined to be with? - If she is so meant to be with you, she will come back sometime in the future.

What if she was a virgin and you are afraid other guys will take her virginity? - Oh well. Nothing you can do about it.

ONCE a woman dumps you, she thought about it 100 times before she did it. She played it over and over in her head. Most likely she has another guy waiting up in line. Even more often, they usually have a man who is already sleeping with them and taking care of all their needs.

Once it is over, it is simply OVER.

Do speak to her any more.

Do not maintain contact with her any more.

Do not have her on your friends list on facebook any more and don't chat with her on msn or keep her on msn.

Here are 5 rules:

1) Delete her phone number.
2) Delete her MSN.
3) Delete her facebook. Delete her myspace.
4) FORGET about all the websites she goes to and don't stalk her on the internet or worse, in real life.
5) Do not initiate contact. Either on MSN, internet, real life or over the phone.

Break any of those rules and you have lost the game.

Let me explain to you the way women's minds work.

After a woman breaks up with a man, she is UNSURE about her decision. Women are very uncertain creatures. Women do not trust themselves. Very few women are extremely self confident and even those will doubt their decisions a lot of the time.

When growing up, a lot of these women looked up to their fathers to make sure they made the right decision. Daddy would approve or daddy would disapprove. And that is how they knew they made the right or wrong decision. But, they can't really talk to DADDY about their decisions with men.

So what happens?

When they break up with you, they judge based on YOUR REACTION whether or not they made the right choice by dumping you.

If you CRY, BEG HER BACK, WANT TO BE FRIENDS, and proceed to call her and give her attention... SHE KNOWS SHE DID THE RIGHT CHOICE. This is what 99.9% of guys do.


If you smile, walk away and don't say a word - then she will not know how to handle it. In a few weeks she will start to DOUBT she made the right decision. Anxiety is going to go through her every time she thinks about you. After a while, she will start to think of you every day. Then it will become every few hours. Then it will become every few minutes.

Eventually she will no longer know how to handle it and the curiosity and anxiety will drive her wild.

She will try to call you or email you.


If you pick up the phone and speak to her, you LOST.
If you answer her email, you LOST.
If she texts you and you reply back immediately, you lost.


Once she INITIATES CONTACT with you, if you are too easy to get ahold of, she knows you are easy. The whole challenge would be lost.

After she calls you once or twice, she will start to go crazy, even more.

You may not believe this happens but it really does.

Her anxiety will go through the roof and she won't be able to sleep at night. Believe me. Especially if you put up a picture on your facebook with yourself and another girl holding hands or showing any type of affection. It will get her insane. She will start to think you found your dream woman and she is forgotten. This will drive her crazy.

Imagine her anxiety level like an EMPTY GLASS.

Once she dumps you, she usually has a little bit of anxiety. If you start to cry and blow up her phone, she TRUSTS HER DECISION and she feels no anxiety towards it. She looks at you and you are done.

The DEAL IS SEALED.

However, if on the other hand, you don't cry and you walk away with a big smile, she will wonder what happened. Give it a week, and that "glass" will start to fill up. Her anxiety level is going to rise.

Then she will try to call you. You don't answer. Unconsciously she starts to think you are better than she is and she lost a good thing. Her anxiety and fear of loss go through the roof.

When she sees you with another woman, jealousy emotions will kick in and she will lose her mind.

She WILL and i repeat. SHE WILL GO THROUGH A CRYSIS PHASE.

When that glass gets all the way full and she can't handle her anxiety any more, she will do something insane.

This can be:
- call your phone 287 times in 12 minutes
- leave an email saying she will kill herself
- tell you she really needs your help and she cant live without you
- say she needs you and wants you

What do you do when she does this?

You go to the liquor store, buy yourself a whiskey and a cigar, sit on the couch, light the cigar, SIP your drink, savor the moment and you do NOTHING.

You let that anxiety stay at a peak.

Her anxiety will be overwhelming to her and she will start to slowly build up other emotions toward you.

When a woman is given EXTREMELY strong emotions from a man, like ANXIETY or HAPPINESS or FEAR, or any other, she will begin to think she is in LOVE WITH HIM.

Yes.

You read that right. You will make her feel high anxiety levels and she will start to think she is in love with you after a while.

Isn't that the dumbest thing you've ever heard? But that is the way the human mind works.

You let her stay at that high peaked anxiety.

She can call you and beg to get back together, don't do it YET.

Let her beg. Let her grovel. Don't even pick up the phone or talk to her. Let her feel that anxiety. Every second you hold out more, she will fall in love a bit more with you and her feelings will intensify towards you.

If you dated a girl for 1 year, maybe let her grovel and beg for a month or 2.

If you dated her 3 months, let her grovel and beg for 3 weeks or so. Don't give yourself away too fast though, use some judgment.

When she will come back, if you want to start a relationship with her, go ahead.

I DO NOT RECOMMEND TRYING TO START A RELATIONSHIP THOUGH.

The purpose of this guide was to teach you how to be a man and handle yourself like a man would.

And that, is how you handle getting dumped.

Have fun fellas.

The section about how you said girls mind work in a way where they're unsure of their decision so they base their decision on how we react to being dumped.

As i said in my previous post she sent me a text 1 hour later of 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss you' i sent back an hour later, this was like 1.30am originally 'you're going to have to take me for dinner and to the movies to make it up to me. we'll talk tomorrow meet me in class break at 10.30am'

Should I have not responded at all originaly because it seemed as if i made it too easy for her to get me back? I felt because she got back to me so quickly I could let her off the hook and i didn't see this guide till after which is a shame.

 

[nismo-4]

All I know is that this is great advice! OP, you should have posted this in the tips section.

Mods, this really needs to go to the archive.

 

[drift_king]

they are very emotional. if she dumps you and 1 hr later she wants to get back together, there's something emotionally wrong with her.

i would ignore her for a week or so, watch her squirm and beg.

I mentioned that she freaked out after we kissed saying 'we won't be together, we won't be together. it was a stupid mistake.'

She clearly wasn't sure of her decision after texting me 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u.'

If i did what you did and left it for a week or so would she really come back to me or would it just show that she wasn't that interested?

I see things clearer now that she wasn't sure of her decision and was basing my reaction as to whether she made the right decision. Had I saw her the next day and told her I wasn't attracted to women who change their mind so quickly, wouldn't she go back on her decision realising I wasn't for her?

Should I have made no mention of her doing that not being cool?

I guess ignoring her for a week would covertly send that same message, and I guess her IL would increase cos I was ignoring her?

 

[RunFromHere0522]

I really wish I would have stumbled across this site about a month earlier. I just wanted to share my story and get advice and/or help.

Back in June 2010 my girlfriend of 4 years and I broke up. It was pretty mutual and at the time, I felt like it was the right thing to do. We both still talked, hung out, and were even intimate still until up to Thanksgiving. Around that time, she started getting involved with another guy and started to slowly shut me out of her life. I didn't find out about the new guy until about the middle of December and this is when I started to realize that I really missed her and did not want to lose her. It is pretty sad that it took this to make me realize, but at this point it was too late.

We share mutual friends so we hung out a little during Christmas and New Years. I went through the whole begging phase during this time and that didn't help my cause at all. I just made myself look pathetic and desperate.

However, even after all this, she was still willing to talk to me and hear me out. I was able to talk to her and let her know that I was over trying to win her back and that I knew she needed this experience with the new guy. I didn't try to pursue her anyone after this. Since then, she has talked to me when she wanted and asked me for my advice for problems she has had with the guy. I felt obligated to answer because I still care about her and don't want to see her hurt. Whenever I try to initiate conversation with her, she answers with one word answers and the conversation goes no where.

But now, after browsing through the forums and reading posts, I am wanting to start the no contact challenge. After everything that has happened, do I even still have a chance with her? I know the no contact will also help me get over her, but I would really still like to get back with her also. Just wondering what you guys think and if you would be able to give me any advice/help.

Thank you.

 

[Joshski]

But now, after browsing through the forums and reading posts, I am wanting to start the no contact challenge. After everything that has happened, do I even still have a chance with her? I know the no contact will also help me get over her, but I would really still like to get back with her also. Just wondering what you guys think and if you would be able to give me any advice/help.

Thank you.

You're not going to get back with her. She's over you and she's lost respect for you because you acted so needy. You are in the friendzone now and there's no getting out of it. Best thing to do here would be delete her number, email, facebook, etc.