The invisible Frame

jhonny9546

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Hi guys!
This is something very easy yet difficult to observe, and this appear again and again, also here in the forum.
I want to explain this in more detail.

I would start from:
The perspective of women in their 30s and 40s

What is the perspective of women in their 30s and 40s? Many women in this age group are married, have children, or are engaged to their college sweethearts. They often find themselves navigating a "family vision" shaped by social pressures to present a certain image on social media, influenced by their friends, and aligned with societal expectations. They want to show they're up to date with current "fashion".

However, it is clear that many of these women struggle. This struggle arises from their natural desires and temptations. Some may engage in behaviors such as leaving their partners, cheating, seeking divorce, or wanting open relationships. We recognize this phenomenon, which is often rooted in the concept known as hypergamy.

How Can be Hypergamy "Tamed"?

The environment in which women live plays a crucial role. Women are generally more emotional than rational, and their surroundings—society, family, friends, social circles, hobbies, jobs, etc.—serve as the true framework for their lives.

While a man can influence this dynamic by maintaining his personal frame and authority, the "invisible" framework created by these elements is what truly matters. This framework acts as a master container that guides a woman’s daily life and relationships. It explains why relationships tend to last longer in rural contexts and why there were fewer divorces in the past when there were fewer choices available. (for women)
It also explains why women living in urban areas, who work in family businesses context, may be more loyal than career-oriented women who change jobs and cities every three years.

Today, thanks to the "backup" options provided by the impact of social media, many women approach relationships with a consumer mindset, akin to how customers view return policies on purchases. It is practically easy for a man, even one who is not a "DJ" , to recognize when a woman is struggling. These signs indicate that such women may not be suited for a healthy relationship, even in the right context.

However, other women, who may also show signs of struggle but in a more nuanced way, are those who can become the mothers of our families, shaping and nurturing a healthier environment. It is difficult to find a woman without these "drives," as they are inherent to her nature.

Then, What Brings Happiness and Well-Being to a Man?

What brings happiness and well-being to a man may vary from individual to individual.
This is a very hard question to reply, since a man, must build his personal interest, have his own **** togheter, and then, when he have that feeling of "procreation", to seek to build a family and create lasting memories with loved ones.
It may seem that a man must exert control over a woman for a relationship to succeed, but this is not entirely true. While a man can and should influence a woman, the quality of the surrounding environment and the context in which they live is what truly matters.
This is what is the "invisible container."

Women who thrive in relationships often come from supportive families—grandparents, parents, uncles, and friends who are family-oriented. They engage in community activities, volunteer work, and have hobbies that foster connections, or any "healthy" activity you can imagine. Any "healthy" woman possesses the qualities needed to build, maintain, and nurture a family, but there must be elements (containers) in her life that draw out those qualities in her daily life.

A mature man understands that a woman can be influenced to take on various roles—whether as a devoted mother or a more liberated individual. However, the underlying framework—the "container"—ultimately determines the success of a relationship.

This is why many high-profile relationships fail, such as those of famous actors. They often exist in environments that cater to hypergamous tendencies. Conversely, your 50-year-old uncle may still be happily married because he lives in a rural area with a strong family-oriented community.

This is why, if you have a "healthy" woman in front of you, you may want to forgive her if she loses control; it is not entirely her fault, but rather her inherent drives. Therefore, a man should consider the context in which he lives. If he desires a "family" life, there must be silent elements that will keep the relationship alive.
 

BaronOfHair

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"How Can be Hypergamy "Tamed"?"

Soneone will have to re-engineer our entire species from the ground up, and turn us into something fundamentally different than what we are. I.E. Creatures where the females don't instinctively desire males who can bring them further up the food chain, and males cease to desire females who demonstrate signs of fertility and vigor

Until then, we've all got to work with the world we have
 

The Duke

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Societal expectations used to be the container that kept a lot of this in check. We opened all that up when we let women vote, let them work, gave them birth control, told them it was ok if they didn't cook, allowed abortions, stopped having large families, stopped going to church, and told them it was ok to spread your legs.

We basically said go out and act like men and that's what they did, the sex part too!
 

plumber

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Its not women or men its both. If men would be monogamous women would be also.

Best we can do is get perspective.

Try to count the number of friends that would turn down your girl only because its your girl. How about if they are not your friend.

Probably arranged marriages and strict enforcement would solve this.
 

BaronOfHair

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Societal expectations used to be the container that kept a lot of this in check. We opened all that up when we let women vote, let them work, gave them birth control, told them it was ok if they didn't cook, allowed abortions, stopped having large families, stopped going to church, and told them it was ok to spread your legs.

We basically said go out and act like men and that's what they did, the sex part too!

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/over-for-the-whataboutism-1950s-nostalgiacels.281853/ The Red Pill taught men to yearn for a mythologized past that never was, in the same way Environmentalism conned many moderns into grieving for whitewashed view of prehistory, where hunter gathers lived in perfect harmony with nature and each other
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

jhonny9546

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There are people who maintain their frame very easily because they are very close-minded. They do not accept any suggestions or criticism and always do their own thing. They are stubborn, picky, and even arrogant. They are focused exclusively on their life. If you say something to them, they will actually make a joke of you, and be so convincing to get the approval of other people.
This seems to attract women because these men appear confident and do things according to their own will without giving others too much leeway. And women are drawn to them, as if chasing with both the stick and the carrot. According to the theory, does this mean maintaining the frame?


A man with an open mind, who allows criticism and considers other paths, and is kind, is not seen as maintaining a frame. Rather, the guy above is the one who does. Being Italian also don't help on this, because "Frame" translate to "Cornice". We may have a word and behaviour for this, but I still cannot figure it out the correct way to understand if you're holding the frame, and if the person is willingly to get framed by you.


Are there real life examples to put frame in a more "realistic" way?
I think I've understood the meaning, the theory, but not to apply and recognize if I am in the framer position


This might be interesting for You guys @SW15 @RangerMIke
 

Gamisch

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It can NOT be tamed. The moment you accept this is the moment you're growing. BUT, it's like getting your first upgrade in judo. The first upgrade is seemingly the most difficult.

Many if not most men won't ever reach that level of understanding. E.g I literally lost some life long friends because they refuse to acknowledge hypergamy. They were caught by their own midlife crisis and felt the rush to act fast. They went the passport bro route while having zero experience with women( although one may argue that goes hand in hand).

To make matters worse: hypothetically EVERY man is out there to constantly reignite your woman's hypergamy by leveling up themselves.

The qoute she's not yours is just your turn hits hard for a reason.
 
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