The idea that rejection is nothing personal

[BackInTheGame78]

So Lebron James should've just pursued his art interests instead of basketball?

No idea how you got that from what I wrote.

LeBron James feels like he can do anything he wants to do. And part of it is physical abilities but much of it is mental.

Plenty of physically gifted athletes never make it to the pros or flame out once they get there if they don't have the proper mindset. Mindset is everything.

 

[CornbreadFed]

No idea how you got that from what I wrote.

LeBron James feels like he can do anything he wants to do. And part of it is physical abilities but much of it is mental.

Plenty of physically gifted athletes never make it to the pros or flame out once they get there if they don't have the proper mindset. Mindset is everything.

Lol good luck with that mindset logic.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Lol good luck with that mindset logic.

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

All your whining and crying about how life isn't fair only gets you further away from where you want to be, not closer to it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.

All your whining and crying about how life isn't fair only gets you further away from where you want to be, not closer to it.

If I would've stuck with your advice, I would be making 1/3rd of what I currently make, my sex life as drier as my elbows, and choking on honky tonk cope.

Plus, I am in sales, so I know this stuff is just BS to keep underperforming employees motivated or get newbies excited to target the terrible accounts the experienced salesmen do not want.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If I would've stuck with your advice, I would be making 1/3rd of what I currently make, my sex life as drier as my elbows, and choking on honky tonk cope.

Plus, I am in sales, so I know this stuff is just BS to keep underperforming employees motivated or get newbies excited to target the terrible accounts the experienced salesmen do not want.

Sure thing bro...keep telling yourself that.

Maybe you'll sleep better at night.

If you think people just magically have sh!t fall in their lap on a regular basis without putting in any work just because they are naturally talented at something you might as well go live in Wonderland and change your name to Alice.

The exception does not make the norm.

 

[GoodMan32]

This is the kind of thing that happens regularly.

Upper middle class and upper class older men who are dads often set up their sons/daughters for success.

In the last 15-20 years or so, I've seen examples of aging Boomer dads who get their sons/daughters hired in good positions at their companies in the last few years of their careers before a well deserved retirement. These sons/daughters are given a huge advantage. For the sons, having this situation helps with their SMVs in the mating environment, especially with bougie White women. In a scenario with a daughter, the daughter ends up being some Girl Boss type who achieves career success but has issues in longer term mating.

The scenario in the paragraph above is how a lot of Gen Y/Millennial types have been successful.

In my case, having wealthy parents hasn't helped me at all in terms of a career. Yet another blow to my SMV.

I remain adamant I'm above-average in terms of looks; it's the other factors that hurt my SMV.

Most of my friends did not come from a Lebron James background and my GF definitely did not. Did they have to grind initially? Yes, but they did it the smart way allowing them to leverage their natural confidence later on in life. They definitely have more confidence career wise than me because they never faced the same level of humiliation that I did. Someone that gets promoted every year is going to have a completely different mentality than someone that has been stuck in the same role for 5 plus years. Getting constantly rejected is not going to do anything but damage your confidence and make you bitter. More than likely, you are not going to get a legitimate answer especially from a woman lol and it just end up being a complete waste of time. The correct answer most of the time is to just give up and try a method that naturally fits you instead of forcing a square block down a circular hole. Lebron James could have easily been a failed artist because he wanted to grit and grind vs choosing basketball.

I looked at it like this from my dating perspective. I was a bitter red pill incel because I lived in a white dominated city and only approached preppy white girls. I was constantly getting rejected by women, but I never gave up. Eventually, I moved and said fvck white women and branched out to different races. Guess what, as my successes increased, my confidence increased and surprisingly my last two exes ended up being hot white women that I could have never gotten in my hometown. However, my confidence has forever been tainted due to the amount BS rejections & mental trauma I went through in college. You can tell me to just simply forget about it, but we are all on this site for a reason. We are all not blue pilled for a reason. Like it or not, it does have negative effect on us long term.

Most of the time, the logical answer is to just give up.

As far as I recall, all of my rejections were White in middle school and high school (seeing as I was raised in a 90+% White environment)

Then I went to college in a community where Whites are a minority.

Come college, I had some successes with Latinas that wouldn't have happened had I stayed in the small town I was raised in (wouldn't have happened simply because there were hardly any Latinas in the place I was raised)

A lot of men have no chick finding them attractive. Dating apps are showing men's true ratings and making them face reality.

Or even if a woman on a dating app finds us physically attractive, there's such a massive amount of competition on apps, we're still unlikely to get anywhere with her.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's where you analyzing the interaction comes in. Nobody is going to tell you what to do, you have to figure it out.

When I say I had hardly any contact with her since setting up the tentative date, I mean basically no contact.

There's nothing for me to even reflect on. The only possible thing I can think of is maybe I didn't chat with her enough (perhaps I was supposed to chat with her in the days leading up to our tentative date)

 

[CornbreadFed]

Sure thing bro...keep telling yourself that.

Maybe you'll sleep better at night.

If you think people just magically have sh!t fall in their lap on a regular basis without putting in any work just because they are naturally talented at something you might as well go live in Wonderland and change your name to Alice.

The exception does not make the norm.

I agree with the base of what you are saying, but where we disagree is the approach. I believe your effort and sweat should be applied to things that work and not what is not working. Unless the positive outcome is based on quantity, any high rejection rate should result in you making some changes not doubling down and embracing it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

"Most guys" are doing what y'all are preaching and it is not working for them

Yeah... You have to go outside and be social on a regular(preferably daily)basis, rather than once a week, if even that, in order to succeed. A few words Aaron MacGruder uttered back in the early 2000s can be adapted for our purposes today:

32:11-34:20

In one sense, dating and mating is easier now, in this Post-MeToo/Post-Covid era we inhabit, than it has been in a loooooooooong f-cking time. Why? Because the expectations of men are so abysmally low, that not just women, but society at large are bowled over whenever they see a fella walking around in public(rather than being glued to The X Box) who isn't dressed like a child, greets the staff when he walks into a business, and can formulate complete sentences comprised of Plain Language, instead of communicating almost exclusively in either internet slang or Intersectionalist jargon

Is it sad and pathetic that the public's opinion of us is so uncharitable? Yep. But after a decade of seeing men act a damned fool in both mainstream entertainment and on social media(And yes, I mean you, Carl Benjamin, Paul Elam, Stefan Molyneux, Matt Jarbo, The Quartering, Turd Flinging Monkey, etc etc), it's tough to fault John and Jane Q public for not thinking highly of us

 

[New_Journey]

I've seen the idea bounced around on the internet that it's nothing personal when a woman rejects a guy.

That's the biggest bull$hit ever.

Are there some instances where a woman's rejection of a guy is nothing personal? Absolutely.

There are many instances, however, where the rejection is personal. Many times, a rejection happens because of something the guy said or did (and the rejection wouldn't have happened if he didn't say/do whatever thing drove her to reject him). It's been discussed in length on the forum about how all it takes to get rejected (or to make the woman quickly lose interest) is for the guy to say/do even one thing that gives her the ick factor.

Now for some examples of a rejection that isn't personal: If a woman rejects a guy for his looks, height, ethnicity, etc.

If she's not into your looks, height, or ethnicity, there is absolutely nothing you can say or do to make her want to be with you (except maybe becoming extremely wealthy)

As for me, I'd much rather get rejected for my looks, height, or ethnicity than get rejected for saying or doing the "wrong" thing. At least with a looks/height/ethnic rejection, it doesn't mean the woman thinks there's anything flawed with me personally. Alas though, I'd venture to guess way more of my rejections (as well as instances where the woman quickly loses interest) have been of the personal variety.

Everything is personal, you are not the guy who turns her on. Also, who gives a fvck?

 

[GoodMan32]

I agree with the base of what you are saying, but where we disagree is the approach. I believe your effort and sweat should be applied to things that work and not what is not working. Unless the positive outcome is based on quantity, any high rejection rate should result in you making some changes not doubling down and embracing it.

Well-said.

The phase I went through at age 23 (which I've mentioned on the forum before) where I'd go up to total strangers in public and ask if they'd like to come over for sex was pretty short-lived. Because I quickly learned no woman will accept that offer.

Yeah... You have to go outside and be social on a regular(preferably daily)basis, rather than once a week, if even that, in order to succeed. A few words Aaron MacGruder uttered back in the early 2000s can be adapted for our purposes today:

32:11-34:20

In one sense, dating and mating is easier now, in this Post-MeToo/Post-Covid era we inhabit, than it has been in a loooooooooong f-cking time. Why? Because the expectations of men are so abysmally low, that not just women, but society at large are bowled over whenever they see a fella walking around in public(rather than being glued to The X Box) who isn't dressed like a child, greets the staff when he walks into a business, and can formulate complete sentences comprised of Plain Language, instead of communicating almost exclusively in either internet slang or Intersectionalist jargon

Is it sad and pathetic that the public's opinion of us is so uncharitable? Yep. But after a decade of seeing men act a damned fool in both mainstream entertainment and on social media(And yes, I mean you, Carl Benjamin, Paul Elam, Stefan Molyneux, Matt Jarbo, The Quartering, Turd Flinging Monkey, etc etc), it's tough to fault John and Jane Q public for not thinking highly of us

I'm often the best-dressed in my workplace.

I've even been mistaken for a doctor before (my office building has a doctor's office).

Unfortunately, my professional appearance hasn't gotten me far.

(I know I posted the outfit picture on the forum of me wearing jeans and an unflattering dress shirt. That's not how I dress every day. Today, for example, I'm wearing a solid color polo and silk slacks)

 

[GoodMan32]

Everything is personal, you are not the guy who turns her on. Also, who gives a fvck?

I'm going to make an analogy.

My high school's gym had 2 basketball courts. Sometimes when my mainstream class was having gym on one basketball court, the special ed kids would have a gym class on the other basketball court. The special ed teacher would put up a curtain so we couldn't see the special ed gym class.

The curtain was meant to shield the special ed kids from humiliation.

As for how the analogy ties in with me? Replace "special ed kids doing a gym class" to "guy gets rejected the vast majority of the time, even in instances where he seriously thought the gal was into him"

I've mentioned before that the individual rejection isn't the problem. When you have my track record of rejection, however, getting rejected becomes an exercise in humiliation.

My refusal to ask out a woman I seriously think is into me is akin to the curtain in the special ed gym class: A shield to prevent possible humiliation.

 

[Barrister]

I'm going to make an analogy.

My high school's gym had 2 basketball courts. Sometimes when my mainstream class was having gym on one basketball court, the special ed kids would have a gym class on the other basketball court. The special ed teacher would put up a curtain so we couldn't see the special ed gym class.

The curtain was meant to shield the special ed kids from humiliation.

As for how the analogy ties in with me? Replace "special ed kids doing a gym class" to "guy gets rejected the vast majority of the time, even in instances where he seriously thought the gal was into him"

I've mentioned before that the individual rejection isn't the problem. When you have my track record of rejection, however, getting rejected becomes an exercise in humiliation.

My refusal to ask out a woman I seriously think is into me is akin to the curtain in the special ed gym class: A shield to prevent possible humiliation.

When are you going to stop living in the past and DO something about the shortcomings? Back in junior high I struck out routinely with women and it honestly impacted me socially -- when I was kid. That was me at like 13-14 years old though. I am an adult now. I moved on from that 20 years ago -- and you should too. The fact you are continuing to wallow in your childhood experiences and refuse to take advice on how to change things speaks volumes about your confidence and your psyche.

What is worst is you seem to think it gives you some special badge of honor both here on this site and IRL. It does nothing of the sort. No one takes enjoyment out of seeing you fail -- nor should you. You deserve to be happy and do well with women. I have no idea what your natural looks are, but so long as you aren't a paraplegic in a wheel chair you can get in good shape, learn how to be charismatic, and attract women. It isn't rocket science. We were made to procreate. Quite literally.

Stop making excuses and heed some advice for once. You can be happy (and everyone here is pulling for you to do better).

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm often the best-dressed in my workplace.

I've even been mistaken for a doctor before (my office building has a doctor's office).

Doctors Of Education aren't renowned for their stylishness... Taking pride in being mistaken for one makes less sense than boasting that you won a kickboxing match against Christopher Reeve, anytime between
1995-2004

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I agree with the base of what you are saying, but where we disagree is the approach. I believe your effort and sweat should be applied to things that work and not what is not working. Unless the positive outcome is based on quantity, any high rejection rate should result in you making some changes not doubling down and embracing it.

There is something to be said for that, but there is also something to be said for working to turn your weaknesses into strengths also.

 

[GoodMan32]

Doctors Of Education aren't renowned for their stylishness... Taking pride in being mistaken for one makes less sense than boasting that you won a kickboxing match against Christopher Reeve, anytime between
1995-2004

I was mistaken for a medical doctor.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I was mistaken for a medical doctor.

Who are known, however, for being sterile

 

[The Duke]

I was mistaken for a medical doctor.

a proctologist?

 

[New_Journey]

As for how the analogy ties in with me? Replace "special ed kids doing a gym class" to "guy gets rejected the vast majority of the time, even in instances where he seriously thought the gal was into him"

The only special thing you have, is that you are a fvcking retard who doesn't understand how seduction works on a fundamental level, the basics.

I've mentioned before that the individual rejection isn't the problem.

That is your problem. How another creature can put on that spiral just because she didn't choose you as her mate. In the cave years you would have died a long time ago, weak men like you were not gonna be able to survive or be slave to the chief, be thankful you live in this day and age, and can change your trajectory.

When you have my track record of rejection

I do and more. Not only in your natal country, but two more, I changed countries twice during my life so far, have you had to that kind of rejection and different languages?

getting rejected becomes an exercise in humiliation.

AAAhhhh yessss this is it. It can be humiliating, until it is not anymore. Until you start to do whatever the fvck you want and women respond to you.

If you know before hand you are gonna get no, then why not try new things, be bold, do whatever you want, she will say no anyways right? Apart from gym and style, this another thing that you are missing, you are not Outcome Independent (OI).

 

[BillyPilgrim]

a proctologist?

In this case, not very sterile.