Originally posted by iqqi
yo cdb. i resent your whole you vs. us argument you have here. who exactly are you lumping together when you say "us"? surely you know better than that.
I know better than to resort to us vs them arguments in the battle of the sexes. I'm not attacking your gender, iqqi. I'm attacking your ignorance of what we, meaning the DJs on this site, stand for. Who is us?!?!? The DJs. The men on this site who want to better themselves. You specifically state:
ha ha! my dear blu friend, this whole website is all about controlling others perceptions of you!
this site is all about other's opinions about them, and how to control them for your own purposes, usually so you'll seem like something, whether it is false or true. what is important to so many is how it seems.
you understand? and you might not be desperate. you might be cool. you might be the sh!t. but rather than just letting your own natural ways tell that about you, you try to seem that way.
You literally stated that the whole point in any of us getting together here and helping each other is specifically to help all of us keep up appearances! You advocate the idea that everyone on here is a slave to others perceptions of them. Not only is that pathetic, its also diametrically opposed to everything we stand for. We are not deliberate liars and fakes. We want to
BE better men, not just appear to be, and that is what we encourage each other to become.
anyways, i hear what you are saying and i agree that is the way it should be.
While you may 'hear' what I'm saying you obviously don't 'understand' what I'm saying. I am telling you how it is, not how it should be and you're too wrapped up in your own empotional melodrama where you are the star, the producer and the director that you don't even recognize our purpose, much less the nobility of it.
but even the best of us tend to care what others think. i am not saying that is the same as calculating every move in because you care what everyone thinks. i am saying that we DO care what some think, especially people we really care about and have really invested in. and men as well as women tend to act slightly if not completely different around members of the opposite sex that we are interested in. is this not the truth? why are you acting like i am making a completely false and horrible accusation?
Because you are! You're defaming this site and all of its members by grossly misinterpreting the very reason we're all here! Yes, when sexual involvement is a factor, people do tend to change their attitudes. This is exactly what we fight here, i.e. knocking women off their pedastal.
I can honestly say that I carry the attitude that if you like me and what I stand for great, fantastic, whatever; one less obstacle to overcome, and perhaps another friend to overcome it with. If you don't like me and what I stand for, great, fantastic, whatever; I'm not exactly going to take it as a personal loss and lose sleep over the fact. This is the DJ attitude. I think this is just about the best way to sum up the DJ position on how much we care about what other's think. I learned this attitude through trial by fire after trial by fire.
my purpose is not to condemn or to accuse. i am here to reach understanding of what i as well as everyone here does, so that i can too
I'm casting pearls here, let's see what you can grasp.
nobody here is perfect when it comes to not only caring what another thinks (that is normal and not a bad thing in many cases) but trying to manipulate what another thinks, even if it is true regardless of manipulation! is this a lie? or are you just being argumentative because i am iqqi and i am a female?
I was actually wondering how long it would take you to ask aloud whether or not I just hate women. Quite the opposite actually. I think many women have made worthwhile contributions. Wyldfire, ShortyBrown, Mysterywoman, I respect all of them. I discriminate based on character not gender. And don't even try to make the argument that discrimination is wrong in any form, because its not.
Let's get personal for a bit. You ask PRL what he thinks about the purpose of this thread and not any personal history on your part. The purpose of this thread is you pitching the b1tch about the internal conflict between wanting to do something and knowing to do something. This has everything to do with your personal decisions. I hate to say this, but PRL has some very valid points which can even be backed up by evolutionary psychology! In the meantime you make this sound like some life or death struggle here, I mean "The id vs the ego?" gimme a break! You strive for the dramatic in all of your threads. "I am the wind, a tornado!" "I sat down before him as if a child" (that last one was particularly nauseating.) Everything takes on this Homeric quality with you and you insist on trailing these stale breadcrumbs throughout a site whose sole purpose is to make us better men. The world does not hang in the balance because you can't decide whether you want to throw snowballs at your ex! (Speaking of which, you ask at which point you're being juvenile. I don't have the time to indulge that one) I mean really, why are you here?
Manoman was spot on, and I salute him for it when he said you were justifying your own immaturity. You care waaaaaaaaay too much about what others think and insist on regaling us with tales of the same and then when I confront you on it, you say that everybody does it so what's the big deal? The big deal is that that's a huge problem and quite frankly makes you sound like a self-absorbed teen drama-queen. WTF? This whole thread is nothing but a giant mental masturbation of your ego who insists you carry the utmost gravitas in your dilemma. If you have a problem, we've already more than answered you. Don't try to impose the facade of a Jungian lecture out of it.
-CyranoDeBergerac
