The Great DJpression

[sosousage]

Thankfully I actually never get ' sexual 'openers on OLD at all. No one is that gross with me. If that was a consistent thing on an OLD site, I would leave the site all together. That would be creepy.

It's pretty easy to tell where they want it to go tho.....

If they (quickly) ask what city I live in and suggest they are SO close to me in X city right now, they want me to respond with an invitation to meet/come over.

If they send me unsolicited half naked pictures (usually gym type shots) within the first few messages (third or fourth reply is an unsolicited pic) it's apparent where they want it to go.
c
I'm SUPPOSED to: "Ohh you're so handsome, those abs are perfect!"
So they can eventually: "I bet you want to lick and nibble these abs, don't you?"
Or
Eventually: "I bet you want these abs to carry you into bed, don't you?"

Its all so LOL. Attention seeking behavior borne out of insecurity and the need for validation.

If they ask me 'what I am looking for' on this site, it's most likely because they want to know if I am down to fvck.

If I suggest we meet for COFFEE in the middle of the day to spend an hour chatting, and they ignore the invitation, I'm pretty sure they want different things.

Women there have too many options. its impossible to take it slow. In next 2 weeks she will be messaged by better guy than the previous one, no matter how attractive the first one was

 

[sazc]

Women there have too many options. its impossible to take it slow. In next 2 weeks she will be messaged by better guy than the previous one, no matter how attractive the first one was

It's s perception of being better. A woman is immature of she doesn't evaluate what she has against something unknown. But they are immature,v definitely.
I understand why you guys would feel this way and I don't deny that there are endless possibilities for women on OLD. When you are trying to start something new with an OLD stranger, there is definitely competition.

 

[sazc]

Many guys might fall into those 2 categories, but neither really thrive, IMO. I have personally experienced many circumstances where women would get upset if I didn't call them soon enough, accuse me of playing games if I went a day or so without contacting them (particularly if they've seen me online that day) and even women who would lose interest if I didn't escalate things quick enough. Ironically, this kind of behavior would often come from women claiming to seek something long term, special, etc.; women who specifically state "no hookups" in their ads. Many women even explicitly state that they do not want a man who will text and chat too much; they don't want a man who will take his time with things, but instead has a certain degree of boldness.

Granted, a lot of guys might not know where that preferable balance is between boldness vs. taking things at pace, but a man is not going to be successful with women online or off if he isn't willing to test those boundaries a little. That's probably why you have two categories of men to begin with; they either don't understand/care about boundaries or they just don't have the balls to test them.

You post is also a GREAT illustration of how there are ALL types of women with all sorts of different expectations. All too often I see guys on this site looking for the one single algorithm that will solve their approach/how they should handle interaction with all females. It just isn't that simple.

Not being simple is another reason why you shouldn't take it personally. Lol just wanted to throw that comment out one more time

 

[sosousage]

Yea, I understand why you guys would feel this way and I don't deny that there are endless possibilities for women on OLD. When you are trying to start something new with an OLD stranger, there is definitely competition.

not just general competition, women hypergamy is always on watch. they will never uninstall these apps even if you bang them. they will always look for top 5% of men even if they are 2/10 and they will sincerely think they DESERVE it. once a woman tried OLD, her attitude towards men got brainwashed

but i wont blame women. it happens because these damned apps are constructed poorly. they are made just to take money from horny men and attention seeking women.

too bad its effect on women and population is this horrific.

 

[sazc]

not just general competition, women hypergamy is always on watch. they will never uninstall these apps even if you bang them. they will always look for top 5% of men even if they are 2/10 and they will sincerely think they DESERVE it. once a woman tried OLD, her attitude towards men got brainwashed

but i wont blame women. it happens because these damned apps are constructed poorly. they are made just to take money from horny men and attention seeking women.

too bad its effect on women and population is this horrific.

I don't delete my profile either but I will disable them on my own and or if a conversation happens where we agree to do that.

Honestly tho, not to be a Pollyanna or anything but I have the monogamous conversation before sex happens, and always confirm profiles/activity will cease on both ends.

 

[guru1000]

not just general competition, women hypergamy is always on watch. they will never uninstall these apps even if you bang them. they will always look for top 5% of men even if they are 2/10 and they will sincerely think they DESERVE it. once a woman tried OLD, her attitude towards men got brainwashed

but i wont blame women. it happens because these damned apps are constructed poorly. they are made just to take money from horny men and attention seeking women.

too bad its effect on women and population is this horrific.

Men with no/little success with women or have been indoctrinated with false Manosphere dogma think this way.

When a girl is (really) into you, hypergamy is dead. She will disable all dating apps and climb cross-country through a mine field just to get with you.

 

[sazc]

Men with no/little success with women or have been indoctrinated with false Manosphere dogma think this way.

When a girl is (really) into you, hypergamy is dead. She will disable all dating apps and climb cross-country through a mine field just to get with you.

So do you generally advise that, if she isn't suggesting disabling apps Etc, She's Not That Into You, and treat it as such?

Essentially, if that conversation/ behavior hasn't happened, don't ever put your eggs in one basket?

 

[sosousage]

Men with no/little success with women or have been indoctrinated with false Manosphere dogma think this way.

When a girl is (really) into you, hypergamy is dead. She will disable all dating apps and climb cross-country through a mine field just to get with you.

but why would a girl be really into you if 2 weeks later she got messaged by one of the hottest men ever? she likes you because of attraction. your jokes, humor, you, everything you do, she likes because she got attracted to you before.

if you were ugly af no godlike behavior would change this situation

 

[guru1000]

So do you generally advise that, if she isn't suggesting disabling apps Etc, She's Not That Into You, and treat it as such?

Essentially, if that conversation/ behavior hasn't happened, don't ever put your eggs in one basket?

I never suggest men to request exclusivity as it's weak behavior, given the adage "women are gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships." I find that if a woman is not pushing exclusivity in some fashion by the end of Month Two, she is a bit damaged or has been in the dating market a little longer than my taste prefers.

To note, my and most men's (on this site) target audience are younger women so these women have less dating acumen/experience and tend to want to form LTRs quickly before their child-bearing expiration, so my view may not hold with women beyond this stage.

Also, important, men with options like dating and meeting random hot women so exclusivity is a compromise to that extent. Not to be misconstrued that there are no benefits to LTRing, but high-value men would prefer to string a relation along non-exclusively as long as possible even with a woman he would LTR with so he can get the best of both worlds: (1) Keeping the woman he desires long-term; and (2) meeting other hot women consistently. So exclusivity for high-value men becomes a compromise when he loses access to No 2 (assuming he is not a cheater).

That given, so the women will eventually request exclusivity either overtly or covertly. I prefer a covert request, as with such a request, I can dance around it. After all, she is not being direct, so I misunderstood, right? But this is the slow spiral to the eventual overt request, and then, unfortunately, I will have to make a decision: Get exclusive or she will be gone. So I try to negotiate more:

Her: <Overt request for exclusivity>
Guru: What does exclusivity mean to you?
Her: Well that's a silly question.
Guru: Really? Does that mean you will disable all your dating apps, and drop all your male friends because that's what exclusivity means to me.
Her: That's a bit extreme ...
Guru: Well then, this may take some time to work out. Let's continue as we are for now, as long as we understand where this is going

Here I just bought myself a little time. If the girl is smart, she will push through this BS, and deliver the ultimatum. But when she does, she understands that she is surrendering all her options and male friends as part of the exclusivity package. You might argue that my requesting her to drop all her male friends is absurd, however, I chose long ago, not to LTR women with male friends for many different reasons that go beyond the scope of this thread. So she either is on board fully or she can get moving when the time comes.

 

[guru1000]

but why would a girl be really into you if 2 weeks later she got messaged by one of the hottest men ever? she likes you because of attraction. your jokes, humor, you, everything you do, she likes because she got attracted to you before.

if you were ugly af no godlike behavior would change this situation

You really have no clue how OLD works, do you?

You are not punching above your SMV in OLD. So you are already among her best options. Men above you will only entertain her for the pump and dump, which, in most cases, she is not game for.

 

[sosousage]

You really have no clue how OLD works, do you?

You are not punching above your SMV in OLD. So you are already among her best options. Men above you will only entertain her for the pump and dump, which, in most cases, she is not game for.

Then I must be doing something wrong. I always get first dates either successful or not, and then contact cuts anyway

one girl I forced to install wahtsapp. now shes not responding but shes checking her app every 30min anyway so shes texting with someone else. (even tho I was her only contact there) and this is after first date

 

[Dash Riprock]

Since 2000 the women havent changed as far as what they want. They want a confident man that will take the lead and go after what he wants, in all phases of his life.

Social media, OLD, etc has ONLY given the women FREE attention they crave. But trust me, they would rather have the men who LEAD rather than the beta orbiters and chasers. They would rather EARN and invest in a man's attention instead of piling up the unwanted attention that is free from the beta orbiters.

Deep down these women still want the same thing. It is the man's attitude and structure of getting what he wants that has changed.

Those of us that still lead like a man and go after what we want still understand this, and ultimately, do great with women and get what we want as long as the woman has interest in us. That means no showering with attention on social media, not staying in an uninterested woman's orbit, ability to make your intentions with a woman CLEAR and be willing to walk if she isnt interested in that.

The process is still simple. Too many men nowadays make it complicated and they turn into AFCs.

Bravo! Bravo! (standing and applauding). Fantastic post. If everyone here read this and actually DID what GG just posted, we could shut down SS.com and be just fine.

 

[sosousage]

Bravo! Bravo! (standing and applauding). Fantastic post. If everyone here read this and actually DID what GG just posted, we could shut down SS.com and be just fine.

You better hope SS admin wont read this post

 

[Roober]

It's interesting how antidumps stuff still mostly applies and I follow most of it pretty faithfully.

The changes I would make is...
-waiting for 4 days. Most girls know about that silly game
-calling home phone. These days, girls give out many different forms to communicate and it works
-living together. I would say living together is okay after a year or more of being exclusive.

I think most men should live by his standards and it would be a much better place for all of us. However, once something gets mainatream, society and populations adjust, so then there would be even more change.

 

[zekko]

If they send me unsolicited half naked pictures (usually gym type shots) within the first few messages (third or fourth reply is an unsolicited pic) it's apparent where they want it to go.

I'm SUPPOSED to: "Ohh you're so handsome, those abs are perfect!"
So they can eventually: "I bet you want to lick and nibble these abs, don't you?"
Or
Eventually: "I bet you want these abs to carry you into bed, don't you?"

Its all so LOL. Attention seeking behavior borne out of insecurity and the need for validation.

I think you might be underestimating just how strong the urge for sex is among young males (especially in their teens and 20s). Many would say or do nearly anything to experience sex, forget the validation.

That said, I do think that most guys do want and enjoy validation. Just look at all the bragging you see on this forum for evidence. The PUA hardline is "What? I don't need validation! I'm an alpha male, I just want sex. Validation is for betas". But I don't really buy that.

 

[sazc]

I think you might be underestimating just how strong the urge for sex is among young males (especially in their teens and 20s). Many would say or do nearly anything to experience sex, forget the validation.

That said, I do think that most guys do want and enjoy validation. Just look at all the bragging you see on this forum for evidence. The PUA hardline is "What? I don't need validation! I'm an alpha male, I just want sex. Validation is for betas". But I don't really buy that.

Men definitely need validation. Everyone needs validation. There is a tipping point tho where the need can become excessive and turn in to attention-seeking

I don't underestimate it anymore, that's for sure. What I currently grapple with is how to integrate this understanding into my dating scenarios. Im still figuring out how to balance the male need for validation in this arena, and my need to take it slow and make good choices when it comes to meeting new people.

It's the same Mars Venus issue it's always been.

 

[Mike32ct]

That said, I do think that most guys do want and enjoy validation. Just look at all the bragging you see on this forum for evidence. The PUA hardline is "What? I don't need validation! I'm an alpha male, I just want sex. Validation is for betas". But I don't really buy that.

Agreed. I've thought the same thing for a long time.

 

[sosousage]

Agreed. I've thought the same thing for a long time.

I believe most mammals need validation if not all. you are alive being and your confidence will be often decreased by past events, even in case of wild animals. if they got hurt once by trying to steal from food from a tiger they wont do it second time


thats where the external stimulus plays role. to heal you out and make you ready to approach next days in good mood.


validation on old is as fake as it can. it surely doesnt work as much as honest compliment in real life (to be honest i received a lot of compliments on my look on homosexual tinder from gays but they didnt make me any more confident/validated, very small influence on me)

chicks get way more validation there than we but still. its fake and shallow