The Great Debate: Can a "DJ" get any girl?

[icepick]

(Not this debate...again!)

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
However I have seen many handsome guys with average looking girls, and they seem just as happy as if they were with a hot women.

Bravo! Someone finally sees it! (And some say that women should not post here... )

Some people can be happy with anybody. This goes for guys AND girls. Certain people will "latch on" to someone, and love them REGARDLESS of any "looks" disparity (sometimes even disregarding personality flaws.)

Why is it that the MEN can be happy when they are more attractive then the women they are with, wheras the WOMEN canNOT be happy when THEY are the "hot" ones in the couple?

Well, women have MUCH, MUCH, MUCH, more reinforcement about thier beauty then the guys do. If a girl is in shape and feminine looking, people will tell her all the time how beautiful she is. She will get asked out, hit on, etc.

Guys are not afraid to make it known that a chick is hot.

For an attractive guy, it is much different. He gets the "********" version of "you are hot". Instead of asking him out, girls will flirt with him, or talk with him. Instead of hitting on him, older women will try to set him up with thier daughters. Women will constantly make veiled references to him hooking up with girls OTHER then them. Sometimes, a DESPERATE girl may ask him out, or be really blatant, but that can actually be a BAD thing for the self-image.

Women are much more coy about showing thier interest. The guy has to have a REASON for them to say something. (In some situations it is kosher for the girls to go on and on about a guy being hot: if he is new, high status, rich, did something crazy, etc.)

Where am I going with this? Well, if a guy does not KNOW that he is very attractive, he would be just fine hooking up with an average girl. Why wouldn't he? He does not know he should be doing better! Now for girls, some are NEVER happy. Saying that a girl is "beautiful" is so played out now that it is pretty much always said. It is a horrible crime, IMO, to call a girl ugly, etc. or to even make fun of her appearance if she could not help it. So, she only gets positive feedback (and the few guys that ALL girls have that want to screw them) and it gets to her head.

How many times have you only tried to TALK to an average looking girl, and she gets all angry at you, thinking you are hitting on her, and says something nasty about your look? Like she could get with Allen Iverson when her face looks like my ass!

Women are more into look than they admit
Guys are more into personality than they admit.
So things balance out.

I think guys would admit that they are into more than looks, but when the discussion comes up, there is always that ONE guy who says:

"Yeah dude, but when you see a HOT girl...it's on. If a girl is HOT, blah, blah, blah..."

It gets hard to argue with these types. The types that see beauty as some sort of virtue. (They are equating beauty AS personality not even realizing it!)

I think what it ultimately comes down to is ATTITUDE.

A woman MUST have a feminine attitude. An average girl can get the best guys if she had a feminine attitude.

A guy MUST have a masculine attitude. An average guy can get the best girls if he had a masculine attitude.

Of course, this attitude is usually combined in the beholders mind into...you guessed it...LOOKS! (Clothes, face posture, quirks, etc., etc. belie the attitude.)

But if we are only talking about SEX...nothing really matters except PERSISTANCE and ABILITY TO MOVE TO THE NEXT TARGET.

"Cuz it's all pink on the in-side!"

I do feel sorry for girls, cuz even if they just want sex from a random person, that doesn't even mean it will be good for them.

Ah well, they can screw all day...I guess it evens out.

 

[supertrooper]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
No he can't get me, unless I want him because I will be able to see through his games (this board gives me power), as will other girls who come to this site.

Wow you sound like you need to be banned from the site!
J/k

 

[Pook]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
Rich guys can get away with being ugly. Usually when are see hot women with not so great looking guys, I don't think it is to do with confidence (if he hasn't money), I think it is because she chose to. Some good looking women are intimidated by handsom guys, so choose ugly ones which they can easily dominate. However I have never seen a hot woman looking really happy on the arm of an ugly guy.

There is a lot of wisdom in this quote that needs to be mined out.

This 'debate' question is all wrong. The destination is not a girl or a number of girls, it is the happiness. You want to be with the girl YOU WANT in a relationship YOU WANT in a life YOU DEFINE.

What is the opposite of love? It is not hate, it is power. Look at shows that a lot of women watch (Sex and the City) and even watch many women (and men too) seek only sexual power over someone.

Love is not about controlling someone. Often, YOU can get controlled by someone you love. (Consider how relevant you take a criticism from your father or mother than from anybody else). You also hate the person you love from time to time (as some people hate their spouses on occasion, others hate their parents at moments)).

There are many women (just as with men) who desire power over the opposite sex. Mysterywoman would agree with me that is why some women will go for an ugly or whatever guy. She wants to control him.

"But Pook! We have been told since the beginning of this website that women hate men they can control!"

And it is true! Women who act like this will NEVER LOVE the guy.

"But she is hot and she is with him! He obviously must have super confidence!"

No. It is more likely something is wrong with the woman. Just because she is hot doesn't mean she knows how to love. I'd make a bet saying that the MORE ATTRACTIVE a person is, the harder it is for them to love. I've noticed that with BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, is that once I leave them they tend to be more of the stalking type.

But good looking women dramatically outnumber goodlooking guys (well they do in England), so a lot have to settle for less. Because it is not always easy to meet the good looking guy.

It took me YEARS to realize that I was 'good looking', kinda Jude Law'ish or if I had black hair, Ethan Hawkish (right down to the similiar build and birth place). Though, none of it mattered until I embraced my sexuality.

However I have seen many handsome guys with average looking girls, and they seem just as happy as if they were with a hot women.

H*ll yeah! I'd go for a girl who understand my strengths, my latent abilities, and my dreams than some 'hot' chick who only sees me as an accessory, as a peg to be squished into her whole vision she got when she heard the 'you are so beautiful' lines her entire life, for she sees me like a painting or ivory box, something to set up and display. She doesn't want me to be real, to think and to live.

All the things feminists said men do... turning women into 'meat', using them as a trophy... Women do that to men MORE. I am so sick of going out with a chick and the chick immediately wants to display me to her friends, display me to her family, parade me with her in public so all her friends will get jealous. I am not even a person to her.

I've said to H*LL with these chicks and focused on my own goals and dreams. Sure, I can get a girlfriend and get married but I'd be miserable since my life is aimed very different from what these chicks (and most people) are for. I'm the type of guy who, when he sees old friends, the women always, as if on cue, ask if I have a girlfriend. When I tell them no, I can see them whispering in the back. "How can he NOT have a gf!?" Then one girl comes up with an answer, "I don't know. Pook must be doing something we don't know about..." (hinting I'm some sort of super player).

It is the women who are the shallow ones, not the men. It is as if they put me through three screenings. First is the looks "Ooohhh, look at that Pook!". Second, the earnings potential, "So did you go to college? / What degree are you getting?" Third, being fun. "So where did you go today? With who and how?" I have NEVER had a woman inqure about my dreams, my ambitions, my... soul, if you like. It is as if they view me only as A) Sex toy B) Something to make everyone else envious of C) A wallet D) Someone to unload emotionally E) entertainment center.

D*mn women! If you want a sex toy, get a vibrator. If you want everyone to be envious, embrace excellence since everyone is envious of excellence. If you want a wallet, go to DADDY. If you want to bleed your daily frustrations, get a shrink. And if you want an entertainment center, buy a Super Sized TV!

For Heaven's sake, we are MEN! It is time that we demand respect from women rather than play Gumby and BEND to their appetites.

 

[DJ Logic]

hear hear!!

Spoken in true Pook fashion and none too lenient on the double dose of truth either. This post makes me angry, but in a good way. Just the words I needed to hear with this one-itis bullsh*t I am dealing with..

cheers pookster

I only hope one day I can return the favors of your wisdom!

 

[FlyGuy]

for she sees me like a painting or ivory box, something to set up and display. She doesn't want me to be real, to think and to live.

Was that a DT reference Pook?

What you said about women being the shallow ones is true to a point. I've thought that MANY times - you know, that women have never cared about my dreams and ambitions but more about how much I can buy them, how much I can entertain them, or how much jealousy they can inspire in their friends through me. Thing is... how can you avoid that? I haven't met a woman yet that doesn't look for those things in a man. So should I just cut my balls off now?

 

[Survivor]

Pook, you sound like a chick.

(The smart DJs will realize that I just complimented him.)

 

[Clint Eastwood]

Posted by Pook

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I am so sick of going out with a chick and the chick immediately wants to display me to her friends, display me to her family, parade me with her in public so all her friends will get jealous. I am not even a person to her.

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I can totally identify with this. I got a really high rating on hot or not, and have been told by peers and professors that I should be in show biz or modelling. It's been hard for me to accept this, since I was nerdy and unattractive when I was younger. Although most of my GFs were beautiful, the last was a 5 or maybe a 6 at best. She paraded me around like some sort of trophy. I never saw it then, but I do now.

more by Pook

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It is the women who are the shallow ones, not the men. It is as if they put me through three screenings. First is the looks "Ooohhh, look at that Pook!". Second, the earnings potential, "So did you go to college? / What degree are you getting?" Third, being fun. "So where did you go today? With who and how?" I have NEVER had a woman inqure about my dreams, my ambitions, my... soul, if you like. It is as if they view me only as A) Sex toy B) Something to make everyone else envious of C) A wallet D) Someone to unload emotionally E) entertainment center.

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I identify with this too, and I'm sick of it. I'm taking some time off from women and dating right now. I still flirt, but refuse to date. It's almost like the women know it, and they're not happy about it.

more by Pook

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D*mn women! If you want a sex toy, get a vibrator. If you want everyone to be envious, embrace excellence since everyone is envious of excellence. If you want a wallet, go to DADDY. If you want to bleed your daily frustrations, get a shrink. And if you want an entertainment center, buy a Super Sized TV!

For Heaven's sake, we are MEN! It is time that we demand respect from women rather than play Gumby and BEND to their appetites.

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AMEN!!! Preach on brother!!!

 

[MysteryWoman]

I find it halirious that good looking guys are complaining about being treated like a trophy, I didn't think many women did this. Most I know get intimidated by beauty, and if they have a hot boyfriend do not want to show him off too much because they are scared that he may get stolen from a better looking girl (even if they are goodlooking themselves).

I still don't buy this crap about women being more shallow, many middle age men trade their wives in for a younger hotter model.
And when women hit forty in hollywood, it is very hard for them to get parts compared to men.

 

[G_S]

God Bless Mr. Pook.

 

[Jay26]

I think a guy can settle for a girl just based on her looks + personality, everything else doesn't matter if those 2 things shine.

A girl, however, considers, looks, personality, job, earnings, car, circle of friends etc etc. I've had this conversation with some girls and they admitted it, Always found it kinda shallow. Not all girls are like this I'm sure, but still.

I mean I just care if there's a connection.

 

[Lost]

.... you dont have control over HER, so you cant say youl get EVERY SINGLE GIRL. you will sometimes get rejected even if youre really good

 

[Oxide]

The reason the women are so shallow is becuase through out decades they've been recieveing same shallow questions from men, so now they have a conception that asking about dreams and ambitions is just a plain strange thing to do.
A real man loves his ambitions, so he isnt afriad to talk about them, where an AFC just says "ummm.. i dont know"

 

[FlyGuy]

I think its understood that both sexes are shallow about different things. It just seems like women consider more categories in a mate - whether or not the guy can entertain them, how much money he makes, etc. Guys don't care much about that stuff usually, we just want a hot chick with a decent personality. The rest is gravy.

I'd say it has more to do with 300,000 years of evolution in which the male was the provider. The man wouldn't care if his mate could hunt well, he just wants strong offspring and a woman mentally able to help raise them. Also, women are the choosers which gives them the ability to be selective in more categories.

 

[jordan]

No man alive can get any women, no matter how handsome he is. Everyone has different taste.

 

[cestmoi]

I'd say no, but not from the perspective most of you see it from.

I do think (as i have witnessed) that a 1 can get a 10. What I do not beleive is that a DJ (or anyone for that matter) can get any girl. No matter how good of a seducer you are, some girls will just not find you attractive. You might be able to swoon her off her feet once you get the chance, but some women will never give you the chance.

 

[Don Ronny]

What is so great about this debate?

The answer is obviously "no" It's amazing the excuses people will use to just yak yak yak on this board. I will sum up all the above bullcrap in 2 sentences.

A DJ can't get girls who are

1. Not attracted to him
2. Already fulfilled by a relationship with a fellow DJ.

Case fukkin closed guys. Now can we put this thread to bed already? And seriously some of you have way too much free time on your hands!

 

[cestmoi]

Originally posted by Pook
I've noticed that with BEAUTIFUL WOMEN, is that once I leave them they tend to be more of the stalking type.

Most definetely! Any theories on that? It's almost as if though the higher prized they are more pain they associate with breakups. I do come from limited experience. But enough to tell me that the more attractive they are, the more their own value hits them in their heads. Its as if they think they're too good for anyone.

"SO WHO THE HELL IS THIS POOK GUY DUMPING ME???" - they think, "I am a godess, I get wussy guys running all over me. I own this world, and this pook thinks he can dump me?"

How does this lead into stalkerishness. What do you think produces this. I still have some black spots, two 7-8 months old breakups that are still stalking. And these are girls who can have any guy they want.

Why is dumping a highly attractive one such a big influence. Why does it create such an obsessive attraction?

 

[MysteryWoman]

This is a silly question, why are we still debating this?

 

[cestmoi]

Originally posted by MysteryWoman
This is a silly question, why are we still debating this?

Coz we're really looking forward to your inspirational insights..............................NOT

 

[Don Ronny]

Dammit, shut up already and read my post above, which answers the question perfectly minus all the masturbatory self-inflating jargon-speak. I swear some people get high off their own windbagged egos!