Good thread.
The days of setting up day 2's on cold approaches are ending fast. I'm finding more and more cold approaches to lead to texting games that go nowhere, and it kind of makes sense. Girls have wayyy too many options these days, and have the buffer of technology to keep guys at a safe distance while still receiving plenty of validation. It's virtually impossible to build attraction over internet/cell phone, and girls are using these things as "gatekeepers." They're operating with the "abundance" mindset that everyone here is striving for as a default.
I'd like to "next" girls right away for flaky behavior, but it seems to be so prevalent that it's no longer a reliable indicator of personal behavior. Early on, I expect ALL girls to flake, simply because it takes TIME and repeated exposure to build interest level. Additionally, I suspect a lot of girls will purposely ignore your calls just to gauge your neediness. Text messaging is pretty much unavoidable early on.
What I've found that works best is to make your date ideas SUPER lame and not even really thought out--stuff like making girls run errands with you. Somehow, this doesn't trigger the pre-date anxiety that some girls get, which often leads to flaking. I also ask them to do this day-of, because this usually forces a response, unlike "um, so, I was wondering if you could call me back when you get a minute?" Most of the time, they won't be available, but that's not the point- you just want to get them to return messages early on, because if you get ignored, there's not much you can do. Also, you win points for not trying to impress her. Surprisingly, a lot of girls are completely up for going on these non-dates--the key is to have a sense of humor about it and to be a tiny bit patronizing if she starts to qualify herself to you ("most guys take me to "xyz" and pay for everything blah blah blah"). I find that when I do take girls out to do lame things, rapport comes naturally and I can escalate quickly--probably because these are things that COUPLES do.
If you DO get ignored, DON'T send another message or call her again- just wait. I've been texted out of the blue a solid week after getting ignored --you never know what's going on in their lives, and if you seem interesting, they'll want to keep that line of communication open. I'll tease them for being flaky a bit and then ask them how they're going to make it up to me.
The other strategy is a pre-emptive strike: I'll text a girl that I'm gonna call her later on to make plans...and then I won't call. Then, I'll apologize the next day for being a flake--this seems to always force a reply, and sets the tone of the interaction from there on out. Somehow, being a flaky guy communicates a good deal of value, and girls will be more accommodating in accordance with this. Along the same lines as this is to come on way too strong and text her a whole bunch of compliments from the getgo--enough for there to be a significant value transference-- and then disappear for 5 or more days. She'll feel the takeaway, even if her interest wasn't very high to begin with, and the next time you text her (normal stuff, no compliments), she'll be curious.
The goal with flakes is simply to keep them responding to you--if you can do this, you will eventually meet them.
This all sounds pretty stupid being written out like this, but this does seem to get results if you have the patience and willingness to forego conventional dating wisdom.
Keep in mind, though, this is all contingent on the fact that she was attracted to you during your initial meeting and had enough time to build some rapport--this won't help the sloppy 5 minute number close at 2am.
