ready123 said:
look I feel ya and it's frustrating but it's all part of figuring out what you're doing wrong. flaking is a common sticking point because rapport building doesn't come naturally for a lot of guys. and being friendzoned is feedback that you're fvckin up somewhere in your sarge. very few guys are naturals so there's a process to troubleshooting and part of it is getting rejected until you go numb
you really wanna win, the best mindset is to reframe female behavior as something to strive to understand, not something to get pissed over. woman act the way they do because of social norms, different dating experiences and deeper sexual repression. not because they hate guys and are plotting against them
if YOU decided a girl is not up to your standards and nexted her, are you really gonna care if she parades her new guy in front of you? no, you probably won't even notice. same goes for her
so don't waste your time. all you're doing is buying into the frame of a girl who says you're not worthwhile - telling yourself, yeah she's right, I am low value so now I gotta prove her wrong by parading another girl in front of her. what the fvck does she know about you? fvck her. just move on as if she never even mattered
and w/ your female friend questions - once they're friends you're NOT supposed to look at them as a target to sarge. the goal is genuine friendship. if a hookup happens down the road, that's fine but you're not trying to make it happen. instead have them give you value in other ways - like Deacon said, social proof, pivots, bounce sarge ideas off them, etc
The rapport building was to the point where she was sending me glamour shots of herself, MySpace messenging and texting me like mad, and accepting dates with me. Then she flaked the first couple of times and apologized. It was at this point that I knew, as a DJ that a woman who wants a man will give up her husband and firstborn to get into his bed. A woman who does not want a man is full of $hit and excuses.
She contacted me first, she is the one who would not stop contacting me. I think that she just wanted the mindlessness and safety of BSing with someone using texting and MS, who she felt no real attraction for, without the REALITY of a real first date. To me, a male, this is sheer idiocy, I wouldnt waste my fuc*king time on someone I wasnt interested in. The sad fact is, she REALLY didnt even want to be platonic friends. Even a lowly platonic friend is good for coffee or drinks and conversation. There wasnt even a vague interest in that on her part.
So Rapport Building comes natural to me. I have never had a problem with it. I am in Healthcare, and I have to know how to set patients who I dont know and dont know me, at ease, as well as deal with arrogant doctors, and other members of the staff/team.
Getting rejected till I go numb? Not this DJ. I dont bother with the "Cold Approach" Do you know the story of the Puff Adder? (My Spiritual Animal guide) He doesnt bother to hunt. He is so lazy, that all he likes to do is sit out in the sun all day, on a nice hot rock. He is camoflauged well, and simply relaxes very still in a place where the mice and field rabbits ect. are in abundance. He waits, and if one gets within three feet of him, thats one dead ass fuc*king mouse, as the puff adder is as fast as the rattler with his strike, and the strike is so vicious, that sometimes the force of the strike itself kills the animal, not the venom. He eats, then back to the rock for some more tanning time. This is me at a club, in a handbasket. They come to me, and when they do, 99% of the time, they are interested "in that way" She was the 1%. Do I leave every night with phone numbers, or a woman hanging off my arm? Hell no. But when I do, it is usually a sure thing.
So I didnt "fu*ck up anywhere in my sarge" She would have flaked on your ass as well. And I'm sorry, but a lot of women are natural manhaters, and do plot against us. And actually I would notice, and compare myself.
I did that once with a sexy gal a little bit older, who after a few dates, had too many other options. I saw her with another man, so I got back at her by showing up at a dance club with a younger gal. You could tell she didnt like it, as I caught her looking at us when we left the club. It made my heart feel good to grind on the dance floor with the little 22 year old right in front of her ass.
Theres no "once their friends" with me. If I have tried to fu*ck them, and they hit me with the "friendszone" crap, they are as worthless to me on a personal level, as a pile of rotting garbage on a hot July afternoon. :yes: