The double edged sword of sosuave

joekerr31

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Glenfiddich101 said:
I guess its a problem if its still happenning like a few more months down the road
has she farted in front of you yet?

i know you think im just pulling your crank, but im telling ya, once your woman lets one slip it takes the relationship to a whole new level.

its pretty hard to wear a mask after ripping one in front of your man.

if she hasn't tell her: "honey, i think we should take this relationship to the next level. so in pursuit of that, i would like you to fart in front of me."

:p
 

Blues

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Hey guys

Just a little update on this topic. Well we are still dating. And i kind of found out what the issue was.

According to her, she told me that in the early days of dating, she didnt feel that i was reciporating enough with her affectionate gestures. So having a huge pride, she doesnt feel the need to do those stuff again.

well i do agree that she said ' i miss u' first and did more phone calls than me. but on the flip side, i need to know the girl alot better before i do those stuff. Or maybe i just gamed her too hard.

anyways after the talk we had, shes contacting me more and stuff.

But somehow there's this tension.

Maybe she's waiting for me to give her more verbal assurance or something?

Comments?
 

jonwon

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The problem with intelligent guys is they treat dating like operating a computer, they want the dating manual 101.

They seem to think all there problems can be solved by picking up the ‘how to programme your GF’ and life will go on.

The logic is a product of:
What do I say to this situation
How should I act in this situation
What should I have said
Did I say the right thing
e.t.c

In translation lets put this to uber geek speak for the intelligent male.

What programming do I need in this situation.
What was the correct up down left right left left down down press x twice combo I should have used for that situation.
What should I have said to my pc screen why my character died a death.
Did I make the correct action by wielding the axe of +1 magic ability?

You see what your doing, as most intelligent, guys do is think of external solutions to your problems:

What manual tip or trick can I perform to correct this programming behaviour?

Is the fundamental logic at play here.

These questions are a product of a man that ‘thinks’ too much and sadly has not grounded his reality to his sense of ‘self’ and purpose.

Most of your questions seem to be from the product of ‘how do I programme this situation’, instead what you need to be coming from is how can I programme myself!

What I am trying to say is:
You can as people state, be a typical nice guy and do nice guy things and still command respect from women.
You can be an as* and still command respect from women.

The point is both situations are usually products of guys who are confident about there abilities, hence they don’t ask for advice they give it.

The question of what I should say or how I should act is not in the vocabulary of a guy with options since to him, he is not trying to programme the computer to what he wants, he simply trades one in for a better model if it does not perform, where has the intelligent guy thinks there is a solution to the problems on page 4 paragraph 6 line 7 9 (i just need the magic programming code and all will be fine).

In all essence what I am trying to put is its all BS, when one can project there frame has been a guy who has options and knows his value and worth. Most guys don’t get to this stage since they revolve around what others want and not what ‘they want’.

The questions you should be asking are:
Not; what I should have done to please women.
But what your doing to please what you want.

Now read that last again with caution because most nice guys (chumps I call em) read that as: what I want is what she wants, which is not what YOU TRULY WANT, I am talking about being concurrent with SELF not being a supplicating door mat for someone else’s whim, or morphing your personality and self to someone else’s expectations.

Most nice guys read the thing about doing what they ‘want’ has going straight in and verbalizing some rubbish (to the women in there life) since they think they know best, in-fact all they are doing is trying to ‘manipulate’ to a programming manual designed for geeks.

When you know who you are and what you want out of life including women, you don’t have to worry about conforming to a set of book rules, you act normal to your true nature, nice guy chumps don’t act in there true nature they cater to manipulation and fear. Where a man, is not afraid to do what he thinks is right, he is ready for the consequences of his actions, either good or bad, he is ready to learn from them.

Phone calls at certain times, saying the right thing e.t.c is all manipulation tactics, where most real men imo opinion would be doing tings cos they simply want to, if others don’t like it its there problem, granted some ‘tricks’ work, but nothing works better then gaining unfounded confidence in your own abilities.

The point is, if you keep trying to gain tips from the geeks manual of dating, your going to be referring to this manual most of you life.
Instead what you should be doing is looking at the manual to be yourself<< this is dangerous ground to suggest since most guys ideas of being themselves is to suck up-to the first piece of ass that comes there way and be a door mat, this message is so hard to describe for most AFC’s since they have no self identity, they instead want to supplicate to the whim of others.

Women want to date a Man and men are not usually afraid to take action, or do things that are suitable to who they are.
You can do anything you want has long as you maintain self and ‘self respect’, never compromise either and you should be ok.

Shame most guys are in the frame of how can i please xxx to get what i want, when in reality the true status is... Hey i am going to have fun here and a great time, if things work out, great if they don’t, hell that’s cool too but I had fun on the way.

It’s ok to get tips and tricks on how to do certain things, but a man who has a very positive foundation based self appreciation and self actualization wont need any tips and tricks.

Most of the dating stuff is a placebo effect to break out of manipulating ways on how to cater to a sense of low self esteem, confident men don’t play with such games or if they do, its a product of using it to get what they want.
 

Victory Unlimited

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Great post, JONWON.:up:

Self Respect along with the willingness and ability to go against the grain and STAND UP for yourself IS major.

The opposite of COURAGE is not cowardice, but rather "CONFORMITY".


March on.
 

jonwon

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Victory Unlimited said:
Great post, JONWON.:up:

Self Respect along with the willingness and ability to go against the grain and STAND UP for yourself IS major.

The opposite of COURAGE is not cowardice, but rather "CONFORMITY".


March on.
Thanks

I think this quote from the tao-te-ching, sums up what i was trying to say and what is a core foundation of the teaching on this forum.

http://www.wright-house.com/religions/taoism/tao-te-ching.html

Those who know others are intelligent;
those who know themselves are truly wise.
Those who master others are strong;
those who master themselves have true power
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Blues

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jonwon said:
Thanks

I think this quote from the tao-te-ching, sums up what i was trying to say and what is a core foundation of the teaching on this forum.

http://www.wright-house.com/religions/taoism/tao-te-ching.html

Those who know others are intelligent;
those who know themselves are truly wise.
Those who master others are strong;
those who master themselves have true power
Thanks a million Jon. Don't think anyone could have said it better.

I know i've been over-thinking my actions and it kind of put a strain on our relationship.

From experience it works best when i just let things flow from within. Less mind-games, more me. ALthough sosuave has thought me much, it has also given me this 'anti-chump' paranoia.

Things are better now and she's responding with lots more verbal affection and initiation on her part.

I'm pretty much a very affecionate guy and the girls i've been serious with enjoy it as well.
 

jonwon

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Blues said:
Thanks a million Jon. Don't think anyone could have said it better.

I know i've been over-thinking my actions and it kind of put a strain on our relationship.

From experience it works best when i just let things flow from within. Less mind-games, more me. ALthough sosuave has thought me much, it has also given me this 'anti-chump' paranoia.

Things are better now and she's responding with lots more verbal affection and initiation on her part.

I'm pretty much a very affecionate guy and the girls i've been serious with enjoy it as well.
there is nothing wrong with learning who you are, advice from others can be golden, but most people come from a scarsity mentality when people should be coming from an abundance mentality, hence alot of actions most chumps do are a product of fear, this is the wrong path to take, these are the products of a scarcity mentality (i cant get another girl e.t.c) with an ambundance mentality you start to act concurent with your identity and are nto afraid to be the man you want to be, this does not mean to supplicate and manipulate this means to learn who you are and what you want out of the relationships too.

Most AFC's are so afraid to loose there good thing, this in turn then makes them loose the product of there effection, there not longer operating on what they want and who they are, there operating on a fear of loss, instead what you should be operating on is a opportunity for 'experiance' which ever way it turns out it is a positive application of who you are since you will learn from it good or bad (even though some people will stagnate and be trapped in a perpetual cycle of fear). You seem to be an intelligent guy who is struggling with his sense of identity and still need guidence on the female species, this is not a bad thing, but to question your actions after the act is done is reflective learning but it is also not wise to worry about 'what if'.

Just be concurent with your actions and dont be afraid to fall once in a while, be true to what you want and dont supplicate to the whims of others including fear and what you think your women wants, most relationships are doomed to failure since one party is always concerned with doing the right thing or looses there self identity and gets so wrapped up in the other person to suffocate them, just have fun, enjoy it and dont read too much into it.

Most of the tips and tricks are: and i cant stress this enough are placebo effects to rid yourself of low self esteem and to gain confidence, but that has to come from your actions and 'experiance' not via a dating manual.

You already out there, just enjoy it, i dont see a majour problem here, but what i see, is an intelligent guy who is rooted into the dating manual 101 thoelogy a little too much.
 

penkitten

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window said:
there's many a post on ss where the guy used his DJ skills to get the girl then turned AFC and lost her....
yes, yes there are ...
 
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